by Lucy Gordon
They were beginning the descent, and there was no chance to say more.
They had booked a hotel near Heathrow Airport, and after checking in they went straight to the hospital where Jake was living out his last few days.
They found him in a private ward. A guard was sitting by the bed, but he moved discreetly away.
Marcel had kept a firm, comforting grip on her hand, but then he released her and backed into the shadows.
She barely recognised Jake. Once a big, beefy man, he was now skeletally thin.
‘Cassie?’ he croaked. ‘Is that you? I can’t see you properly.’
‘Yes, it’s me.’
‘Come closer.’
Reluctantly she leaned down and he reached up a hand to touch her cheek. With an effort she stopped herself from flinching and sat on the bed. He managed a ghastly travesty of a smile, croaking, ‘You’re still beautiful, still my Cassie.’
‘I was never your Cassie,’ she said at once.
‘You were my wife.’
‘Not in my heart. Never.’
‘But you’re here,’ he gasped. ‘I knew you’d come.’
‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘Don’t fool yourself, Jake. I’m sorry for you, but there’s nothing between us. There never was.’
‘Oh, you always played hard to get. That’s what I loved about you. Yes, we belonged together. I always knew it.’
‘And you deluded yourself,’ she said, filled with disgust. ‘You hurt the man I loved and I stayed with you to protect him. That’s the only reason.’
‘Him? Don’t make me laugh. He was nobody. By now he’s probably scraping a living sweeping the streets.’
This was Marcel’s moment and he took it, moving out of the shadows to stand beside Cassie.
‘You were wrong about that,’ he said, ‘as you have been wrong about everything.’
‘Who the hell are you?’ Jake demanded.
‘You don’t know me? No, I suppose you wouldn’t. You got someone else to do your dirty work. They left me lying in a pool of blood in the street. But here I am and now I’ve seen all I needed to.’
Then Jake did something that astounded them both. He began to laugh.
‘Fine talk,’ he gasped. ‘You think you’ve won, don’t you? If you’d won back then you would have won. She was young and glorious, better than she’ll ever be again in her life. Those were her best years, and they were mine, d’you hear? Mine. I had things you’ll never know.’
‘No, he had things you never knew,’ Cassie said. ‘He had my love, given freely. That’s something you never had.’
Jake barely heard her. His hate-filled eyes were on Marcel.
‘You didn’t win,’ he spat, ‘and one day you’ll realise that. Cassie died years ago. All you’ve got now is the shell. You think you have a future? What kind of future? No children. She can’t have any.’
‘Not with you, maybe,’ Marcel said softly.
Jake turned to Cassie and he was suddenly shaken with a coughing fit. His hands gripped her arms with the last of his strength. She hated him but a feeling of pity made her clasp him back.
‘You came to me,’ he choked. ‘You came…you couldn’t stay away…’
‘I came because he asked me to,’ she said with a fierce glance at Marcel. ‘Nothing else would have brought me here.’
‘You’re lying…I’m your husband…Cassie…my Cassie…mine…’
Gasps tore him, growing faster, noisier, until at last he fell back against the pillows.
‘You were always mine,’ he murmured as his eyes closed.
‘No,’ she breathed. ‘Never, never!’
He could no longer hear her. His eyes, half open, stared unseeingly into a hidden distance. His rigid hands, clasping her arms, held her prisoner.
‘No,’ she wept. ‘Please, no.’
In a flash Marcel was there, wrenching Jake’s hands away, setting her free.
‘Let’s go,’ he said.
In the taxi he held her shuddering body.
‘Everything’s all right,’ he said. ‘It’s over now.’
But it wasn’t over. And suddenly she doubted that everything would ever be all right.
Back in the hotel he came to her room and immediately called Room Service to order supper. While they waited he went to his own room, returning with his night clothes. When the food arrived he prepared to serve her.
‘I’m not really hungry,’ she sighed.
‘I know, but you have to eat anyway. Don’t argue.’
His tone was gentle but firm, and she let him take over. She felt drained and defeated. Where was the sense of triumph that should have filled her? Nothing. Only the troubling sense that Jake had mysteriously won again.
He helped her to undress, then he put her to bed and got in beside her, taking her into his arms, holding her as though in this way he could keep her safe. She snuggled against him, reaching out for that safety.
She fell into a contented sleep and awoke to find him touching her intimately. She responded, giving and seeking love, letting him take her into the dream.
‘It’s all right,’ Marcel murmured. ‘He’s gone. Now it’s just us.’
‘Yes,’ she said, trying to believe that this was really so.
But there was still a dark and worrying cloud hanging over her. She didn’t look at it too closely. She didn’t want to understand it.
But some kind of understanding was forced on her when she awoke in the early hours with a headache. Moving quietly not to wake Marcel, she slipped out of bed, and went to her bag, seeking a pill. Not finding what she wanted, she reached her fingers into a small pocket inside that normally she never used. What she found there almost made her heart stop.
Drawing the tiny object out into the light, she surveyed it with horror. It was the ring Jake had given her long ago, and which she’d flung back at him during the divorce.
She remembered how she’d sat by his bed that afternoon, leaning over him, the bag lying on the coverlet. He must have slipped the ring inside when his hand moved towards her. It had fallen into the pocket without her noticing.
With a horrified, sick feeling she realised that it was what he’d always meant to do. By returning it he’d reasserted his claim on her from beyond the grave.
‘Cassie?’ Marcel appeared, rubbing sleep from his eyes. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes, fine,’ she said, closing the bag. ‘I’m just coming back to bed.’
Briefly she thought of confiding in him and letting him deal with the matter. But she rejected the thought. Her head was invaded by confusion, and she wouldn’t have known what to say.
In bed he took her back into his arms, comforting her with his warmth and strength. Seeking more, she ran her hands over him, taking reassurance from the feel of him. Suddenly she stopped.
‘What is it?’ he whispered.
She switched on the light and leaned back to survey his chest with the livid scar that ran across it. Slowly, almost fearfully, she touched it.
‘That’s what he did,’ she murmured. ‘Oh, God!’ She laid her face against it.
‘It’s all right,’ he said gently. ‘It was bad at the time but they made me right again. I’m fine now. Don’t grieve. It’s over.’
‘It’s not over,’ she wept. ‘It’ll never be over. You might have died.’
‘I didn’t die.’
But in another sense he had died, and so had she. The wounds had healed but the scars would be there for ever, and they both knew it. Through the barrier of time, from prison, from beyond the grave, Jake had put the shackles back on her.
Darius’s wedding was drawing near. Back in Paris, Cassie booked them both into The Conway Hotel on Herringdean Island. Freya called to say she would be there, but not Amos, which was a relief to them both.
‘And my mother’s coming,’ Marcel said.
Since Laura Degrande also lived in Paris she would join them the night before their departure and travel with them. Cassie was cu
rious to meet her, but also a little apprehensive, wondering what Marcel would have told her. Laura greeted her civilly but was not forthcoming. Sometimes Cassie would look up to find Marcel’s mother watching her. Then Laura would smile, but not speak.
Between herself and Marcel, recent events were never mentioned. She shut him, and all to do with him, away in a compartment of her mind, which she bolted, barred, and threw away the key.
Marcel too never spoke of that time. He might have been waiting for a signal from her, which never came. With the wedding coming up they both assumed a cheerful demeanour. Nor was it entirely a pretence. She discovered that a locked compartment could work well, even if only intermittently.
Since it wasn’t possible to take the train to Herringdean they travelled by helicopter and Cassie forgot her fear in the dazzling pleasure of skimming low over the Channel and seeing the island come into view.
‘How beautiful,’ she murmured.
‘Yes, you really have to envy Darius,’ Marcel agreed.
‘Living in a place like this? I agree.’
‘I meant more than that,’ he murmured.
She turned her head and found him looking at her with a mysterious smile, but the helicopter was descending and there was no time to talk.
Darius was waiting as they landed, with a cheerful young woman by his side. Cassie took to Harriet at once.
Darius seemed on good terms with Laura, whom he hugged. After the introductions he said, ‘I’ll drive you to the hotel. When you’ve settled in, you come on to my place. We’re having a big party.’
‘Who else is here?’ Marcel called.
‘Jackson’s arrived, and Travis. Travis is staying with me so that he can hide. He daren’t go out in the street without girls shrieking, “That’s him!” Jackson ribs him something terrible. They’ve started showing his series on Herringdean now, so there’s no escape.’
‘But not Amos,’ Laura said. ‘You assured me—’
‘No, not Amos. Promise.’
They got through the hotel formalities as fast as possible, and were taken straight to Giant’s Beacon, where Darius lived, which turned out to be a magnificent building overlooking the sea. They arrived to find Jackson and Travis standing outside, watching for them.
She recognised Travis at once as the actor she’d seen on screen. He greeted her with charm and practised friendliness, and she immediately understood why Freya was wary of him. Too charming. Too handsome.
She also recognised Jackson as a naturalist she’d seen on-screen. Not handsome in the Travis style, but good-looking in a ‘kid brother’ fashion. She liked him.
The house was decked out with flowers in the halls and one huge room filled with tables. Because this had to be saved for the wedding reception the next day, the family gathered outside that night and partied under lights hanging from the trees.
The Falcon family might be riven with divisions, but tonight they were forgotten and only the warmth could be felt. Cassie thought that Harry, as everyone called her, was exactly as a bride should be, full of happiness at her love but, more than that, the deep contentment of someone who knew, beyond all possible doubt, that she had come to the right place.
‘When did you know for sure?’ she asked when they were alone for a moment.
‘It was him,’ Harry said, pointing to a large dog who lay curled up on the sofa.
‘Is that Phantom?’ Cassie asked. ‘Darius said he’d done a lot to bring you together, and you wanted him at the wedding.’
‘That’s right. We thought he was going to die one day, and I was called out on the lifeboat. I hated leaving him to die without me, but Darius stayed with him, talking to him, letting him know he was loved and wanted. And he didn’t die. I still have my darling Phantom, and it’s all because of Darius. I’d been wondering about him for a while, but that was the turning point, when it all became clear.’
Cassie nodded. ‘If you were lucky enough to have a turning point everything would be easy,’ she mused.
‘Of course most people aren’t that lucky,’ Harry agreed. ‘They have to just hope they’ve got it right. But I knew then that I mustn’t let this wonderful man get away. When you find a man who understands you so perfectly you’ve got to hold onto him.’
‘Yes,’ Cassie murmured. ‘If he understood you, and you understood him—everything would be simple.’
She reached down and stroked Phantom’s head, wishing that she too could have a Phantom instead of the unruly ghosts who seemed bent on confusing her.
There was an excited murmur in the hall.
‘That’ll be Leonid,’ Harry said. ‘Darius went to collect him. He’s the mystery man of the family, and I’m dying to meet him.’
From the first moment Leonid lived up to the tag ‘mystery man’. He had black hair, dark blue eyes and an ultra-lean face.
‘Haunted,’ Cassie murmured. ‘Or am I being too melodramatic?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Harry murmured back.
Freya joined in. ‘Where has he come from and where is he going?’ she said. ‘The rest of the world will never know.’
‘Oh, that’s really being a bit fanciful,’ Harry protested.
‘No,’ said Freya. ‘It isn’t.’
The other two women exchanged glances that said, Maybe he’s the one she’ll marry. This is going to be interesting.
Watching Leonid make the rounds, Cassie had the impression that he knew none of his family well. She wondered how often he left Russia. He greeted her courteously, speaking in a deep voice with a distinctive accent. He was an attractive man, she thought, but very reserved, which some women might find intriguing.
Cassie suddenly realised that Laura was looking at her, then towards the trees with a question in her face. She nodded and rose, moving quietly away from the lights and under the trees, where she waited for Marcel’s mother, who joined her a moment later.
‘I have wanted to meet you for some time,’ she said.
‘Yes, I suppose Marcel has told you all about me. You must hate me.’
‘I did once,’ Laura agreed, ‘many years ago. He came flying home from London, ran to me and shut himself away in his room. I used to stand outside the door and hear him sobbing. When he told me how his beautiful girlfriend had betrayed him when he was ill, then I hated you.
‘I hated you even more as the years passed and I saw my generous, gentle son retreat into himself and turn into a terrible copy of his father. But a few weeks ago he came back home and found the letter. I saw his distress when he discovered pieces missing. It mattered so much to him. I wonder if you can understand how much it meant.
‘When he was back in Paris he called me to say he’d spoken to you and all was now well. You had never betrayed him, and he could have known that if he hadn’t torn up the letter. I’ve never heard him so happy. I thought soon he would tell me that you were reunited, but there has been nothing. And I came to ask you—to beg you—please don’t break his heart again.’
‘I don’t want to, but—’
‘But you’re not sure you love him?’
‘How can I be when I don’t know who he is? We’ve both changed in ten years. I love—part of him, but the other part worries me. You said he’d become like his father. I need to know how much before I can make a decision.
‘He’s compared it to Jekyll and Hyde, and he’s right. There are two people living inside each of us, and we all four have to learn to love each other. Otherwise there will only be more heartbreak and misery.’
‘It will happen,’ Laura said earnestly. ‘It must. Look.’ She reached into her bag and pulled out a little black box which she opened, revealing a ring with the biggest diamond Cassie had ever seen.
‘Amos gave it to me when I first knew him. I’ve kept it all these years for Marcel, so that he can give it to the girl he loves.’
‘It’s beautiful,’ Cassie said, gazing at the ring.
‘Would you like to try it on?’
‘No,’ she
said quickly. ‘You’re very kind but no thank you.’
Laura sighed and put the ring away. ‘I shall hope for better things soon.’
As they strolled back together Jackson came out to call, ‘Come on in! You’ll never guess who’s on the box again!’
‘Travis?’ Cassie laughed.
‘Honestly, I swear he thinks he really comes from heaven. There’s no getting away from him.’
In fact the episode was nearly over and they arrived just in time to hear Travis announce heroically, ‘That’s what we must all remember. Seize the moment whenever it comes. Don’t let the chance slip away, or we may regret it for ever.’
Everyone in the room laughed and cheered, Travis looked sheepish and held out his glass for another drink.
Cassie cheered with the others, glancing across at Marcel to see if he shared the amusement, but he seemed sunk in thought, as though something had taken him by surprise.
But then he looked up and smiled. Someone appeared at Cassie’s side, offering wine, and the party engulfed her again.
It was only later that she remembered Travis’s dramatic pronouncement, because of its devastating consequences.
Next morning the family gathered on the beach for the wedding to take place. When Harry appeared she was accompanied by Darius’s children, his daughter Frankie and son Mark. With them came Phantom, whom Mark led to the front and settled him where he had a good view.
Cassie watched, entranced, not only by the beauty of the ceremony and the surroundings, but by the love that blazed from the bride and groom.
She remembered Harry’s words about the turning point, the moment when the road ahead became clear. Would she and Marcel ever reach that point? Or was it too much to hope for?
She stole a glance at him and found him looking at her intently. She smiled, receiving his smile in return. And something else? Had she imagined it or had he nodded? And if so, what had he meant?
Then he looked away, and she was left with her thoughts.
For a long time after that she wondered about that moment, and how differently everything might have turned out.
The reception was much as expected—speeches, laughter, happiness. Then they spilled out into the garden again and someone put on some music so that there could be dancing.