by Marni Mann
He described everything I’ve been feeling, and something about his admission makes me feel a little better. Maybe our situations aren’t that different, and we’re feeling a lot of the same. As long as we can agree to let go of the guilt and enjoy the process, then we’ll be okay.
“Don’t stress,” I tell him as I press a kiss to his lips. “I want you to have fun, Cannon.”
“I am. I do have fun,” he says. “It’s all so different. I never imagined we’d be here, doing this.”
“Doing what?” I ask him as I slide my hand into the waistband of his dress pants.
“Sex,” he says around a strangled groan. “Sleeping with other people. But, fuck, after I’m with her, I want you so bad, Piper. Not having you last night after I had her drove me crazy. If I’ve learned anything so far, it’s that I want you, baby. I’m always going to want to come home and bury myself inside you.”
“Then, do it. Show me how much you want me, Cannon. Show me everything.”
He’s right. No matter how much space West takes up in my mind, I’m always going to think about Cannon, too. What we have is ours to fix—something neither Tilly nor West will ever be able to touch.
“God, yes,” he groans as I stroke him. “But we have to be quick. I don’t have a lot of time. I was on my way to the courthouse when I stopped to see you.”
“We don’t need a lot of time,” I tell him as my phone chimes with a text.
There’s a ninety percent chance it’s from West, replying with more of the filthy things he’s going to do to my body. It only fuels the burning inside me.
I rip open Cannon’s dress shirt, sending buttons scattering around the closet floor. The shirt’s ruined, but he has a dozen others just like it hanging in his closet. I kiss his neck and scratch my nails across his bare chest.
“Pipes, shit,” he mumbles against my lips as he pulls my shirt over my head. “I think I need to come home for lunch more often.”
“I need you, Cannon. Please. Make love to me like you mean it.”
West
Walking back to our deck after a long swim in the ocean, I see my cell phone light up. I lift it off the towel and smile as I read Piper’s text. It took her over an hour to write me back—enough time that I stopped waiting for her reply and swam a few miles in the water. Her last message told me that her pussy was so wet, I could slip right inside it.
I ask her which position she wants me in, and her answer is…
Piper: Whichever one makes me scream.
I dry my hands off before I begin to type.
West: I don’t have to use my cock to make you do that.
Piper: What else can you use?
West: My finger.
Piper: You’re that confident?
A call comes through my cell. When I see Jesse’s name on the screen, I click Ignore and go back to typing.
West: Isn’t that why you’re texting me now? Because you know my abilities, and you know how loud I can make you scream?
Piper: Maybe.
West: Maybe…what? There’s more?
Piper: Maybe.
“Let me check to see if he’s out here,” Tilly says as she opens the sliding glass door.
I look up from my phone, and our eyes lock.
“Baby, it’s Jesse.”
My fucking agent is relentless. If I check my email, I’m sure there will be at least ten from him.
I shake my head and take a step back from the deck.
She mouths, Stop it. Just talk to him. He already heard me say your name, so he knows you’re here. She kneels down and holds the phone out to me. “Here,” she says, using her voice this time.
I take her cell and start walking toward the water. “Jesse.”
“You’re a hard man to get in touch with.”
“It’s because I don’t want to be found.”
“I had a feeling, but listen, man, I’ve got good things lined up for you, and all you have to do is choose one. Have you considered any of the offers?”
Since the beach is so busy, I move back toward the house, pacing between my place and our neighbor’s. “No.”
“West, have you even looked at the offers?”
I kick a pile of sand, and it sprays back at me, sticking to the wet hair on my shin. “Nah, I haven’t done that either.”
“You want to talk about what’s going on with you?”
Talk about what’s going on with me?
I dig my heels into the sand, cross an arm over my chest, and glance around.
I’m at the goddamn beach when I should be at practice. I’m running, swimming, and lifting weights, like I’m rehabbing a knee or shoulder injury. But this isn’t a joint or muscle tear. This is my fucking brain that’s hurt. And this isn’t rehab; I’m out permanently.
How is it possible that I can never play professional hockey ever again?
HOW? I want to scream.
But I don’t. I pull the phone away from my face and stare at the screen where it shows how many minutes we’ve been talking; most of those, I’ve been silent.
And then I finally tell him, “I don’t know, Jesse. I’ve got nothing to say.”
The pit in my chest grows bigger with each breath, and nothing, not even the thought of pussy, can fill it.
It feels like a defenseman ripped off my shoulder pads and jersey, put his bare hands around my throat, and started twisting.
There’s friction and rawness and burning.
And then emptiness.
It’s been there all along; it just hasn’t taken ahold of me this hard.
I haven’t told anyone about the way I feel. They ask. All of them have—my wife, teammates, my parents. I tell them nothing.
I didn’t just lose my job. I’ve lost who I am, what I’m meant to do, the only thing I’m good at.
Here isn’t where I want to be.
Here feels like shit.
And the only thing I do know is that I don’t want to be here.
“There’s someone I want you to talk to. His name is Ed—”
“I’m not talking to a doctor, so you can stop right there.” I walk back over to the deck, wrap my fingers around the edge, and gaze at the water.
“He’s not a doctor. He used to be a client of mine. Now, he lives out in Denver. I’m going to give him your number, and when he calls, I want you to answer.” When I say nothing, he adds, “I’m serious, West. If you don’t consider anything else I’ve sent your way, do this one thing. Please.”
Two kids are tossing around a football about fifty yards from me. They look about middle school age, going through that stage where they have just grown a bunch and don’t fit into their bodies yet. The kid on the right has a decent toss. He’s quick—not just with his hands, but also with his feet. The kid on the left doesn’t have the same speed, but he doesn’t need it because he never takes his eyes off the ball, and he has a hell of an arm. A few tweaks, and these kids could be really good. Shit, they’re probably good enough to play at a high school level right now.
“I’ll think about it,” I say, walking up the steps of my deck and going inside.
Once I shut the door, Tilly turns off the TV and tucks her legs underneath her. I can tell she’s trying to listen in.
“I’m only going to give him your number, not Tilly’s, so if you want to talk to him, it’s on you, not your wife to track you down. Trust me when I say, it’ll be worth it.”
“I hear you.”
“Good. I’ll check in with you again soon.”
I end the call and head toward the kitchen, listening to Tilly follow behind me. Reaching into the fridge, I pull out a bottle of water and a sliced steak salad she ordered from some delivery service. She doesn’t cook, and I have no interest in spending my time in the kitchen.
“So…” she finally says, leaning over the countertop of the island, like she’s waiting to hear where I’m taking her on vacation. “What did Jesse want?”
I take a bite of the beef. “Wants m
e to talk to some guy. An old client of his.”
“And?”
I start walking toward my office. “I told him I’d think about it.”
“Do you wanna know what I think?”
I turn around when I reach the doorway. Tilly’s still in the kitchen, and her grin hasn’t even faded a little. I don’t know what she’s so excited about.
“No, but I know you’re going to tell me.”
“I think you should talk to him, baby.” She walks over to me and stops a few inches away, her hand running up and down my bare chest. “You’ve been working out so hard; maybe you need a massage.”
“I do. Can you get her to come to the house? I’d rather have it here than go to some spa place.”
“I’ll make a call.” She reaches for the waist of my swim trunks, pulls it out, and looks down at my cock. “Is there anything I can do for you in the meantime?”
I raise the salad bowl above her head and take another bite. “Later. Food first. And a shower.”
She leans up on her toes and kisses me. “Just don’t make me wait too long.”
I grip her neck, giving her a hard kiss, and shut the office door. I set the salad on one of the tables and take a seat in my leather chair. Then, I look at my phone and read Piper’s text again.
Maybe?
Fuck that.
West: I’ll lick the answer out of you.
Piper: I’m afraid of that.
West: What else are you afraid of, Piper?
A bubble appears as she types. I can tell she’s struggling with her reply again because it disappears and reappears several times before the message comes through.
Piper: How much I think about you.
I set the phone on my lap and stare at her words.
Shit, she said exactly what I’ve been thinking.
Piper
I haven’t heard from West since I slipped up and texted something stupid. Maybe he’s mad at me, or maybe he’s just busy, but it’s not like him to ignore me. I’m the one who takes forever to respond and has trouble finding the courage to type out what I’m feeling. Not him. He’s full of confidence and sexy replies.
I’m afraid of how much I think about you.
Why did I say it? It’s too much, too soon, and I had no business saying it in the first place.
But I can’t help what I feel. From the second I saw him, I was screwed.
Cannon bounds up the stairs, and I don’t hear him until he tosses his briefcase on the floor by the fridge.
“Hey, beautiful,” he says as he wraps his arms around me from behind. “The house looks great.”
“You’re late,” I tell him. “I wanted everything to be perfect. Now, you’ll be rushing around, making a mess.”
“You’re perfect,” he whispers into my hair. “And you smell good.”
He nibbles on my neck, his favorite spot to kiss besides my lips. I always get chills when he hits the sensitive spot near my ear.
“This isn’t going to make up for it, Cannon.”
But it will; he knows it. Nothing about his kisses are ever rushed—not even now, when we’re pressed for time.
“I need a quick shower. I’ll be fast,” he says.
“It’s okay. You have some time. I was just worried I’d have to entertain them both until you got here.”
West, I can handle, but Tilly…Tilly’s intimidating. Unless we’re making plans to meet, I never know what to say to her, and I can never tell what she’s thinking.
“You can always join me, you know.”
I love playing in the shower, and my thoughts automatically drift to West and what it’d be like to be naked and wet with him. The master bedroom is the only place Cannon said was off-limits. And I agree with him; that’s ours. What happens behind that door belongs to us and only us.
The shower though? I like those possibilities.
“Another day, I promise,” I tell Cannon.
He swats my ass and heads for the bathroom.
I could feel how hard he was the entire time he was holding me. Only I’m not sure if that was because of me or if he’s already thinking about Tilly.
Not even ten minutes later, the doorbell rings, and Cannon’s still in the bedroom.
They’re early.
Instead of answering, I run back down the hallway and open the door to the bedroom. Cannon’s fixing his hair in the mirror, dressed in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.
“What’s wrong?” he asks when he sees the panic on my face.
“They’re here.”
“Cool. I’ll be right out.”
“I didn’t let them in yet,” I tell him in a rush. “Hurry up.”
Laughing, he grabs my hand and says, “Babe, you can’t leave them outside. Come on.”
Before he opens the door, I wrap my arms around his waist and press my cheek in the center of his back. The hotel was one thing, but inviting West and Tilly into our home takes swinging to a different level. What is already personal is becoming even more intimate.
Cannon places his hand on top of mine and squeezes. “We’re fine, Pipes. No worries.”
“Okay,” I whisper as I let go.
When the door opens, Tilly’s beaming, and West has his nose buried in his phone. Mine vibrates in my pocket the same time he lifts his head and smirks.
I glance at my screen and have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. If I do, I will give away the secret.
West: Relax, and let me in. My dick’s hard, and my fingers are ready.
Piper: Crude as ever. Welcome.
He reads my response and stuffs his phone in his pocket. Cannon and Tilly are already in their own world, not paying attention to us or our texting.
“After you,” West says, letting me lead the way.
I pick the kitchen since Tilly and Cannon stop in the living room.
Nerves are bubbling in my throat, and that rush of adrenaline I get whenever I see West is making my chest tight. “Do you want a drink? Or something to eat?”
“I’m good,” he says. He’s staring out the sliding glass door toward the beach—our beach. “This is a nice place.”
“Thanks. It’s all Cannon though. I’m not working right now. Not until I find a new teaching position.”
West turns around, and his eyes suddenly narrow. “Fuck,” he whispers.
“What?”
He’s not mad. Actually, I can’t figure out what he is. But I’ve never seen this look before. It makes me ache.
“You’re a teacher?”
“Since I graduated college. I worked with kids with autism. Middle school aged.”
He closes his eyes and nods. When he opens them, he takes two steps and hesitates again. “Do you know how many teacher fantasies I’ve had over the years?”
When he finally gets to me, he places his hands on my hips and grinds my pelvis against his cock. The friction makes me gasp.
“I was already going to fuck you until you screamed. But now? Now, I think you’ll have to punish me first, Piper.”
I grab two fistfuls of his shirt and hold on. “You want detention?”
“If detention is code for your pussy, then yes. I want a month’s worth.”
I look away from him, and he reaches for my chin.
“What?” he asks. “Not feeling it tonight?”
“No, I mean, I’m feeling you. I’m always feeling you. That’s the problem. I actually wasn’t sure how tonight would go because I thought you were mad at me.”
He picks me up and sets me on the island, spreading my legs so that he can stand in between them. “Why would I be mad?”
“The text I sent. You never replied, and I know you mentioned before that feelings couldn’t be a part of what we were doing. That text was full of feelings.”
He cups my cheek and wraps his fingers around the back of my neck. For a few seconds, all he does is stare at me. And then he takes a deep breath, and he says, “Those aren’t feelings, Piper. That text was reality. And I don’t t
hink there’s anything we can do about it.”
I can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he might spend just as much time thinking about me as I do him. That’s exactly what he’s saying though, and I don’t know what to do with the information.
“West,” I whisper, wishing he would kiss me and tell me that what we’re feeling is okay.
But all he says is, “Piper,” in an equally calm voice.
He leaves too much space for my imagination to run wild. Space that I need him to fill with his thoughts and his body.
When I don’t say anything back, he grips my thighs and pulls me to the very edge of the counter. Then, he picks me up and carries me down the hallway. “Tell me which room. I need to be inside you.”
“Last door on the left. It’s a spare bedroom.”
He doesn’t bother turning the light on, just tosses me in the center of the bed and hovers over me. I slide my hands underneath his shirt, needing to feel his skin. He reaches behind his head and pulls it off with one hand. West undressing is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.
“Get those clothes off,” he tells me. “I want to see your gorgeous tits.”
After I shimmy out of my shorts, I pull my tank top over my head and unclasp my bra. His eyes never leave mine until I’m completely naked. Only then does he let them roam. Torturously slow.
“Touch me, West. Please.”
“You want to feel me?” he says through clenched teeth.
And then he flips me to my stomach and grabs my hips until my ass is in the air, and my cheek is pressed against the mattress. I hear the rip of the foil packet.
“We’ll play, Piper. But I need you first. Hard and fast, just like this.”
And then he sticks two fingers in my warmth, but I’m so ready for him, he doesn’t need to do another thing to get me there.
He feels it, too, and pulls his fingers out. The delicious sensations disappear, but I quiet down quickly when he teases my pussy with the tip of his cock. The anticipation makes me squirm, and I try to get on all fours, but West nudges me back down.
“Stay just like this, Piper. You look fucking amazing.”
“I want to touch you,” I tell him.
“You can touch me all you want as soon as you come. For now, these are mine.”