The angels whose job it was to give other angels talents, posts, or purpose were focused squarely on me when we were created. Since my purpose (to be born on earth as a human and ascend to high Archangel), talent (had yet to figure that out), and post (earth) had already been determined, and Remi had been hand-picked to be my sibling, Emeria was all but forgotten about once my birth mother, Rosa, Fell to have me. Emeria had never been given a post or any particular talents. She had no real purpose. So she unwittingly created her own purpose: to win Gavin’s heart.
Her post? Wherever Gavin was.
The problem? Gavin had been promised to another. Me.
Jealous of my future with Gavin, Emeria was determined to have him, even after she realized the visions she had were of my future, not hers. It was too late by then. Emeria was deeply in love. When our mother pointed out the true nature of the situation, Emeria’s heart became filled with rage, envy, and a desire for vengeance. She aimed to rid the world of me, to clear the way for her and Gavin to be together.
Emeria set out to win Gavin’s love by appearing to him as me in an attempt to manipulate his affections. I was not ready for what happened next. Images of Gavin, with Emeria posing as me. There was something about it that seemed real, tangible, and full of raw emotion. I tried to turn away, but her hold on me was too strong. She forced me to watch the two of them together. I refused to cry in front of her.
What happened after that was more incredible than anything I could have dreamed up. Discovery, betrayal, humiliation, rage, denial, shame, and wreckage.
“See what you’ve done? It’s all your fault. All of it!” Emeria screamed into my ear and tightened her grip on me. My stomach lurched and rumbled in response. I tried to expand my wings, but it was too late. Emeria was like a chain around me.
I’d wanted so badly to feel connected to my sister, but it was hard to feel connected to someone who was intent on killing you. I considered the impact of having a real blood relative, what it could mean. I just loved the name Emeria, like Emerson, only for girls. Then again, it probably wasn’t even her real name.
She embraced me, and for a moment she softened, and I thought maybe she sensed it too: that we needed one another. Maybe we could have a chance. I embraced her in return and thought I felt her soften even more. But then she paused and tightened her grip around me.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. You have no idea what you’ve signed up for. You think you’re in control and you know how this is all gonna end? Oh, it will end. Believe me, Grace. It will end.”
The venom in her words was like fire in my ears.
I felt our bodies leave the ground. Upward, colder and darker. There was only blackness when I opened my eyes. No visions, no thoughts, as if our minds had been shut down. The void startled me. She squeezed me harder and closed her wings tighter around me. Her breathing was labored.
When her grasp upon me loosened, I tried to break free, but she held on. The sound of loud flapping wings belonged to Arcturus and a boy I’d never before seen.
Arcturus grabbed Emeria, and they fought, wings flapping so hard it sounded like continuous claps of thunder. As they moved, clouds gathered and stirred around them. The boy grabbed me and lifted me back and away from them. I watched as Arcturus and Emeria fought, hand to hand, eye to eye, and mind to mind. The boy sang to me, drowning out all other sounds. It looked as if a tornado was forming in the midst of the most melodic, soft, boy choirish chanting, serving only to heighten my fear. My chest heaved as I strained against the strength of the boy holding me back.
Then, backed by a terrifying flash of light that emanated from his hand, Arcturus threw Emeria to the ground and shouted, “There will not be a next time!”
A Lie of Omission
Ever since Proseran appeared to me, it had been all I could think about. The fact that a flower had spoken to me, a weed, no less, weighed on me as much as what he’d said. I was to run away.
“Focus, Grace,” Caius ordered as I started my “running away” letter for the fifth time. Caius and Arcturus had taken to playing Paper Toss with my previous attempts. Talk about making lemonade from lemons. I wasn’t a bad writer. It was just that I knew what my running away would do to Mrs. Larson. It would be like losing Dad all over again for her. And yet, it was the only way to keep the Larsons safe. Still, an undeniable guilt gnawed at my gut. They’d been supportive and loving to Remi and me. I was going to repay that kindness with lies and deceit.
I pulled my old red messenger bag from the closet and stuffed it with underwear, socks, tights, two pairs of jeans, one skirt, three shirts, a hair brush, and a hoodie. A check of my makeup bag revealed lip gloss and my favorite butterfly and dragonfly hairclips.
Caius began removing clothes from their hangers and flinging them on the floor.
“What the heck are you doing?” Arcturus shot him a look. “It’s supposed to look like a runaway, not a break-in!”
No matter what we did to make it look real, I knew Sergeant Mullane would look for me out of obligation to Dad. Silent tears fell from my eyes as I grabbed my beat up copy of Romeo and Juliet, and next to it, Romeo and Juliet and Vampires.
Speaking of Romeo, Remi was nowhere to be found. He should have been there helping me. Instead, he had devoted his time and attention to Jenny, who was still recovering from being attacked. I guess I should have given him a break. It’s not like I was really running away. I was running to Gavin and a place where I didn’t have to hide what I had become.
Just as I made peace with my decision, Remi blew into the room and closed the door. He was solemn, quiet, and, I hoped, guilt-ridden for the way he’d treated me. Or even before, when he’d neglected to tell me who he was, who I was.
I tried to read him. Nothing. I felt like a hacker trying to break into a super-encrypted database. I’d get in eventually. I just needed more time.
“I can’t believe you’re running away with Gavin Vault.” He forced himself to speak the name.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Arcturus move; first, diagonally across, then next to me as if to protect me from Remi. It was a lot like a computer chess move. You never see it until it’s too late. He must have known Remi would never hurt me.
“Remi, I love Gavin, and he seems to love me, too. I can’t explain it, but I know that despite what he is, despite what he was condemned to be, he’s a good person, with good intentions and a good heart.”
“A good heart, a good person.” Remi imitated my exact tone. “Gavin is not a person, and he certainly does not have a heart, let alone a good one. So clearly, you have no idea what he is or what he’s capable of,” Remi retorted, apparently not at all concerned with how much he was hurting me. He shook his head, then waltzed over and took a seat in my desk chair. I liked the old Remi better, the human Remi who cared about my feelings.
Remi listened intently to my thoughts while spinning around in my chair. He scrunched up his eyebrows as I threw a wall up and blocked everyone in the room. Through the silence, I searched for Gavin.
“What about you?” I countered, breaking Remi’s concentration on destroying my block. It caught him off guard. He lost his balance and fell backwards, yielding snickers from the cherubs. Remi didn’t respond, so I pushed harder. “How are you so much different from Gavin, coveting a human?” The moment it left my mouth, I knew Remi and I would never recover from it.
Remi stood, repositioned the chair beneath him, then looked sharply in my direction. The expression on his face frightened me as he moved toward me.
Arcturus leaped in front of us, wings outstretched. He had a dagger at Remi’s throat. It was kind of laughable that I could see over Arcturus.
Remi must not have been so amused. He slid back in the chair in submission to the small angel.
“I don’t think you want to do this, Remi,” Arcturus advised him calmly in his wise, old tone.
Remi had Arcturus by at least two feet, and yet he didn’t fight back.
“You’re right, Ar
cturus.” Remi turned his attention to me, though Arcturus still held the dagger to his neck. “It’s why I’m able to love you.” Remi straightened in my chair and forced the tension from his face and body. Arcturus lowered his weapon but stayed at Remi’s side.
I had no idea what Remi was talking about. Praefatio said we were not allowed to form bonds with humans. It’s what got Tyler and his friends into trouble in the first place. Remi leaned forward on his elbows. I popped a squat on the floor in front of him. His expression turned from serious to concerned.
“But we’re both angels, Remi.” I relied on the little bit of Praefatio I had read to date. It was my way of keeping Remi with me for a little while longer.
“Grace.” Remi sighed as if my ignorance had caused him physical pain. He looked from Arcturus to Caius, then back at me, where pity settled in his eyes. “I’m an angel born on earth to angels while in human form. Unlike an angel born in heaven, I had to develop my abilities and reject the cloak of humanity I was born under. If I had not had Vivienne and Gabe to raise me, to teach me how to be an angel, how to fulfill my purpose and stuff, I could just as easily have remained human and never fully tapped into my potential as an angel.” Remi fell silent. It was eerily as if he’d spoken all he’d ever say again.
Caius’s face twisted like a pretzel at the end of Remi’s narrative. For the first time I realized how hard Remi’s struggle must have been. Arcturus rolled his eyes.
“So, you’re allowed to have human emotions, even desires?” It was ironic and cruel. Almost as soon as I asked the question, I knew the answer. “Yes,” I managed out loud, though barely above a whisper. And so was I allowed, being half-human. We have what they have desired for so long and what they are eternally being punished for. It’s why they hate me.
Silence filled the room like smoke in a three-alarm fire. I waited for it to suffocate me. But it merely lingered, warning of the danger to come.
Then, the dread of the silence was replaced by hope and enthusiasm. I jumped straight up with my wings outstretched and grabbed Remi by both arms, pulling him toward me. If we can be this way, why not the Fallen Ones? I opened my mouth to speak, but Remi shook his head and waved me away with his hand and a stare that reeked of annoyance.
Arcturus interrupted with, “May I?”
“Forget it. She’s already made up her mind.” Remi grunted and plopped back into the chair as if he’d given up on me.
Caius tried to explain things to the stupid human. “Humans are by nature incapable of controlling their desires. It often results in the kind of behavior that is deemed sin: murder, covetousness, adultery, and the rest. It is the reason why angels cannot … it’s why we have rules of engagement with humans.”
I was beginning to believe I’d never understand their world. A world I was a part of whether I liked it or not.
“An angel who accepts or rewards human weaknesses such as these would be a very dangerous angel, a threat to not only mankind, but to all of us. However, we accept this behavior from humans because they are easily stirred, led by emotion. It is not tolerated in angels, or at least it hasn’t been until now.” He probably hadn’t realized he’d just insulted me. “We have rules,” he continued, then turned to Remi. “No one is exempt.”
Remi rolled his eyes at Arcturus, no doubt something he picked up from me. I wondered in that moment just how much of me and my humanness had rubbed off on Remi.
“Sis.” Remi called me that whenever he was about to try to convince me of something I wasn’t having any part of. “This thing is bigger than you or Gavin. Besides, if he really cared about you, he would insist that you stay here, with me, where I can protect you. Not everyone that Gavin hangs out with has your best interest in mind. Gavin can’t protect you by himself. He has to know that.”
“I can take care of myself,” I insisted and looked at my cherubs, knowing that without them, I would never survive if attacked again. I took Remi’s hand in mine in an attempt to reassure him. For a brief second, his mood swung upward, then back to solemn, maybe even afraid. He was seeing something, a vision he did not want me to see. I dropped his hand, released my lock on his mind, and gave him his privacy.
Caius spoke then, his words further ruining my mood. “If you go with him now, you’ll set into motion something that cannot be undone. If they think they can use you or your allegiance to Gavin, they will. If you stay with them … you will become … more like them.” The words sounded so final, as if my fate was sealed, despite my desire to protect the Larsons.
Remi glared at me. We had never been at odds. Now the thing that brought us together, why he came to live with us in the first place, seemed to be the thing that would tear us apart.
I was letting everyone down, running after a boy condemned to feeding off the blood of humans forever. Still, I chose him and accepted the shame. My wings hung heavy behind me until I heard him.
You don’t have much time. Gavin’s voice was pleading, encouraging, and angry as it echoed in my head.
Remi stood suddenly and grabbed me into his arms. His embrace felt distant, cold, and wasted. I figured he only did it to make me happy, or because he thought it was what I would have wanted to happen. How I would have preferred it to end. He stepped toward the door and said, “I will not let you summon a Fallen to this house,” and was gone before I could defend myself.
I hadn’t summoned anyone. They were coming for me, to kill me.
I raced over to my desk, grabbed a pen, and started writing as quickly as my mind could formulate coherent thoughts. I stared at the letter for at least five minutes, fighting back tears before placing it on top of the desk.
“Maybe just tape it to the door,” Caius suggested, clearly never having run away before.
“Amateur. She should leave it on the desk,” argued Arcturus in that know-it-all voice he sometimes used. He sat on the desk, patting it with his hand.
“Dude seriously, for an angel, you really are dumb,” Caius scolded Arcturus.
“Please. We don’t really have time for this. I just need you to help me get the rest of my stuff together. And don’t forget Mr. Fluffy Rabbit.”
I sealed the envelope and addressed it to The Larsons.
Out of nowhere, a vision popped into my head.
Jenny was sitting on the front steps talking on her cell phone when two guys came walking by. They paused in front of the house. The gate was closed, but one of them opened it with a wave of his hand. Oh no. As he leaned on the railing and smiled, Jenny stood, then backed up a step.
“I see Remi doesn’t learn. He’s left you all alone out here, has he?” The boy smiled and reached out to take Jenny’s hand. Then the image broke up like interference in a satellite signal, but not before the stupid looking one lunged for Jenny’s neck.
I felt Emeria’s hand on my arm at the same time that she whispered, “Let’s go” in my ear. When she spied the cherubs, she rolled her eyes. “The kids stay.”
Emeria levitated us both off the ground. I pulled us both back down with a strength I didn’t know I had. Emeria jerked back, eyebrows raised in surprise. Caius and Arcturus seemed disinterested in the entire thing, each gathering up my supplies into the bags they’d brought, as if they didn’t know she was there.
“The cherubs go where I go,” I insisted, determined not to be bullied.
“I came for you and you only.”
“I’m not leaving without them. Caius, Arcturus, let’s go.”
“I can’t protect them. If you insist on bringing them, you’re on your own. Gavin’s already putting himself on the line for you. It would not bode well if you get yourself and your little cherubs killed today.”
“It’s the least you can do since one of your idiot brothers is hitting on Jenny Larson right now,” I countered with venom.
“Those are not my ‘brothers,’ Grace,” Emeria fired back. “Those are the Seekers who were sent to kill you. Lucky for you, they found sad, innocent Jenny Larson sitting on the steps and
couldn’t help themselves. Now let’s go before Gavin sends the cavalry looking for his poor, human, sorry excuse for a girlfriend.”
New Home Renovation
Emeria dropped us off in a courtyard, then left without saying a word. It felt like I had been there before. The grounds were a green maze of shrubs stretching as far as the eye could see. The cherubs and I walked around leisurely until we reached a fountain. Caius dipped a hand into the fountain, and the water changed to sparkling crystals as it fell from his fingers. Faint music claimed the night air. A statue of an angel playing a trumpet stood sentry in a clearing as dark clouds, as if racing, passed overhead, exposing small pockets of moonlight. Giant black iron gates seemed oddly familiar.
Another vision began just as I started toward the house. I listened to familiar voices coming from inside. I found myself inside the parlor, outside the room with the voices.
“She’s too young, Tyler. Afraid she’ll see through his act when she’s older?” Dad’s tone was angry, volatile, and not like I’d ever seen him. Facing a man who seemed vaguely familiar, Dad inclined his head in my direction, then fixed his eyes squarely on the man.
Mom entered the room and moved in my direction, coming to a stop right in front of me. Could they see me?
I crouched behind a large, marble statue.
The man spoke in an even tone, deep and unafraid. “Gabriel, let’s not get excited. No reason for all this melodrama.” He circled Mom, slowly taking her in from head to toe, as if Dad wasn’t in the room. He smiled slyly, just enough for Dad to notice that his thoughts were not entirely pure where Mom was concerned.
I can read his mind.
“Gavin has suffered enough,” he continued. “He just wants her to know him, as he should, since they are betrothed. Besides, by the time she ascends, it will be as if she has known him her entire life. Why we’re even wasting our time having this conversation is beyond me.”
Dad raced to the man’s side, keeping his eyes fiercely focused on Mom. “She’s nine years old, Tyler.” Dad reached for Tyler’s neck just as Gavin entered the room and plopped down on one of the red leather chairs.
Praefatio: A Novel Page 13