Until Tomorrow

by Rosanne Bittner

  “Well, this first trip down was a safe one, so let’s not talk about it any more. Let’s have a look at your little girl. How far is it?”

  “Just a couple of blocks. That’s why I stay at the Denver Inn. I’ve already seen her once, playing out in the back yard. I put three hundred dollars in her bank account yesterday,” Sassy added proudly.

  Cole put an arm around her shoulders. “You’re a good mother.”

  Sassy’s eyes teared. “I wish I could be. Thank you for coming, Cole. It’s not always easy doing this alone, especially when I have to leave again.”

  Cole walked with her to a frame house that had a white picket fence around it. “I pose as a friend of Mrs. Donnavan’s who comes to visit once in awhile. That way Lissy knows me, too, and isn’t afraid of me,” Sassy explained.

  “What if she should come to find you when she’s grown up?”

  Sassy smiled sadly. “Well, I’ve told the Donnavans I want her sent off to college when she’s old enough. That means it will be a good fifteen years before she’s free and independent enough to try to come visiting. By then I’ll be a pretty old gal, in some other kind of business, something legitimate. Or maybe I’ll be living someplace else so she can’t talk to others in town and find out the truth. Even so, she never needs to know I’m really her mother.”

  She led him to the front door of the neat-looking house. Lace curtains hung at the door window. Sassy knocked, and a moment later a very prim-looking woman with kind blue eyes opened the door. She smiled when she saw Sassy. “Hello, Sassy.”

  “I told you I’d be back once more today. This is a friend of mine, Cole Parker.”

  “Hello, Mr. Parker,” the woman said, nodding to Cole. “I’m Mary Donnavan.”

  Cole tipped his hat to her. “I’m glad to meet you, ma’am. I’ve heard a lot about you, all good. Thanks for letting Sassy—” He spotted a curly-headed little girl standing behind the woman. Her hair was blond, her eyes blue, like Patty’s. An ache filled his chest. “Well, you know,” he finished.

  “Hi, Miss Dillon,” the little girl said with a sweet smile that showed deep dimples in her plump cheeks.

  “Hello, Elizabeth. This is my friend, Mr. Parker.”

  Cole pulled a peppermint stick from his pocket. He’d bought it that morning in a grocery store. “How about a piece of candy, Lissy?”

  The child’s eyes lit up. “Thank you, Mr. Parker!” She took the candy, and Cole studied her plump, dimpled hand. He ached to pull her close and hold her, almost wished he hadn’t come. It had taken years to get over the need to hold Patty, comfort her. If only she hadn’t died so horribly. If only he could have rescued her.

  Mrs. Donnavan invited them into her parlor, and Cole fought against old memories. He was surprised that Mrs. Donnavan was so gracious to Sassy, inviting her into her home when she knew what Sassy really was. Sassy couldn’t have picked a more Christian, more loving woman to mother her little girl.

  “My other two children are at a friend’s house today,” she explained. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to meet them, Mr. Parker.”

  The women visited, and Lissy played with a doll, bringing it over to show to Cole. She was a vivacious child, not the least bit bashful, and Cole grinned at the realization that her personality was just like Sassy’s.

  Mrs. Donnavan served tea as Cole explained he was new to Central and worked as a guard for gold shipments.

  “That sounds exciting!” the woman returned. “That’s all that gets talked about here in Denver. Gold, gold, gold. My husband is an assayer. He hasn’t been well lately, but he did make it to work today.”

  “How is he—really?” Sassy asked.

  Mrs. Donnovan glanced at Lissy, then back at Sassy. “Not well at all. I’m worried.”

  Sassy reached out and patted her hand. “You just relax and know that I’ll always help any way I can, especially financially.”

  Mrs. Donnovan breathed deeply, her eyes misty. “Thank you, Sassy. You’re a good woman. God sees that.”

  Sassy looked at her lap. “Well, I’m not so sure of that, but if I can do one good thing …” She glanced at Lissy. “Lissy, come here and sit by me. I’d like to see your doll, too.”

  The child moved beside Sassy, happily holding up the doll. “Her name is Peggy,” she said, Cole’s piece of peppermint still stuck in her mouth.

  Sassy studied the doll, eyes, nose and mouth painted onto its rag face, yarn for hair. “She’s very pretty.” She reached into her handbag. “I brought you something, Lissy. Maybe your doll could wear it.” She pulled out a little pearl pin, and Lissy drew in her breath in surprise and joy.

  “It’s pretty!” She fingered the pin. “Put it on Peggy for me.”

  Sassy obeyed, and Lissy giggled with delight, then hugged the doll close. Cole remembered how his own daughter had loved a ragdoll. The doll had been found lying beside her, burned, after the fire. A lump rose in his throat and he stood up. “I, uh, I think I’ll step outside for a few minutes, have a smoke, if you ladies don’t mind.”

  “Of course, Mr. Parker,” Mrs. Donnovan replied.

  Cole walked to the front door.

  “He lost a little girl of his own in the war,” he heard Sassy telling Mrs. Donnovan.

  He walked outside and leaned against a wall, swallowing back an urge he hadn’t felt in a long time, an emotion he had long ago buried and replaced with hate and revenge. It was the urge to cry. “Damn it!” he fumed, breathing deeply and wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. He took a thin cigar from an inside pocket and struck a match to light it, puffing on it for a moment to overcome the sudden painful feelings that had overwhelmed him at seeing Lissy. He took off his hat and literally shook his head to get rid of the screams he could still hear.

  Maybe, just maybe, if he had another little girl to hold, to hear her laughter, see her smile, maybe he could get over all of this. With Addy … she’d make a good mother. Would she wait for him, or would she fall for Grant Breckenridge’s charm and decide he had a lot more to offer? He wished he had made up his mind to love her and marry her before this. Maybe he’d waited too long. Then again, maybe he didn’t deserve somebody like Addy, or deserve another family.

  He finished his smoke, went back inside and shared lunch with Mrs. Donnovan, Elizabeth and Sassy. He could feel Sassy’s pain, and he wondered which was worse—having a child die, or having her alive but not being able to be with her. Elizabeth was a lovely child anyone could love, all innocence, pretty and smart. He could feel Sassy’s pride.

  Finally it was time to go. Elizabeth gave Sassy a hug and a kiss, and Sassy squeezed her close. She turned, and Elizabeth reached out for Cole. “Give me a hug bye,” she said with her dimpled smile.

  Cole hesitated. If only she knew what this was doing to him. He decided he’d tell Sassy he couldn’t come back again. He couldn’t stand this. He reached out, took Lissy into his arms, struggled against a torrent of emotions. “Bye, Lissy.” He kissed her cheek and handed her back to Sassy. “I’ve got to get out of here.” He turned and left, and minutes later Sassy came outside and walked up beside him.

  “I’m sorry. That was hard for you. I shouldn’t have asked you to come.”

  “It’s all right.” Cole sighed deeply. “I know now what I need to do. It’s either change my life completely and have another family, or just let it all go to hell, maybe go on farther west and join the no-goods I hear hang out along something called the Outlaw Trail—horse thieves, cattle rustlers, bank robbers.” He snickered in disgust. “Just my type.”

  Sassy folded her arms. “So, you’re finally telling me you were an outlaw?”

  Cole met her eyes. “Now you know why Addy can’t jump right into marrying the likes of me. It was my own gang of men who abducted her back in Illinois after a bank robbery. I helped her out. That’s how we met, but she knows the worst about me. It’s all a big mess, and now, her with Breckenridge, me working for him, both of us t
rying to keep anyone from realizing we even know each other …” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just do what I should have done in the first place and get out of her life.”

  “And leave her to Breckenridge?” Sassy’s eyebrows arched in surprise. “You rescued her once. I’d say you’d better do it again. You stay around. She’ll figure out for herself who’s best for her. Something will work out, Cole.”

  “I wish I could be so sure.” He smiled sympathetically. “But my problems don’t matter right now. Seeing Lissy must be really hard on you.”

  She touched his arm. “At least I know she’s alive and well and loved. Your problem is much worse. I just … well, I hope I can always help take care of her.”

  “She’s a beautiful child, Sassy. You can be proud.”

  “I am.” She put on a look of confidence and toughness. “I did pretty good, didn’t I?”

  Cole nodded. “You did good.” He walked her back to the Denver Inn, and she turned and grasped his hands.

  “I have little hope of changing my life now, Cole, but you do. Don’t give up trying.”

  “I don’t know.” He turned away with a sigh and mounted up on Shadow. “What time does the stage back to Central leave?”

  “Eight o’clock tomorrow morning. You know where the station is?”

  “I’ll find it. I’ll ride back up along with the coach.”

  “Good. See you in the morning.” Cole rode off, and Sassy turned to look at the Donnavan house again, her eyes tearing. “My sweet baby,” she muttered. “May God always look after you, and may He keep me able to do the same.”

  Addy walked around the front of her house, studying it carefully, amazed at how fast homes and other buildings sprouted in Central. Once the decision was made, builders had her little home finished in three weeks. The only thing left to do was put up shutters and window planters and to paint. She had decided on white with blue trim and the painters were coming tomorrow. There was still some furniture to be delivered from Denver, but she had a brass bed and a bureau and even a wardrobe for her clothes. There was a wood-burning cook stove and an icebox in the kitchen, along with a table and chairs given to her by Hester, who had also given her a lovely cherrywood plant stand and a gold satin loveseat trimmed with cherrywood. Susan Howard gave her a picture of a vase of flowers, which had been in a shipment of new items for her husband’s dry goods store. It hung on an otherwise bare wall in the main room, which served as sitting room, parlor, whatever it was needed for, since the house had only the three rooms.

  She walked back inside, across a braided rug on the hardwood floor of the main room. There was a small brick fireplace on one wall, and for the present the room held only the loveseat and plant stand. She breathed deeply of the smell of fresh lumber and paint, and she felt she owed a great deal to the citizens of Central. School would start in about three weeks, not long after the miner’s picnic next week. Finally she would be able to teach. Everything would be perfect now if only she knew what to do about Cole and Grant.

  She’d heard nothing from Cole these past three weeks since the march in the streets, and she was relieved to know he’d at least had no problems guarding Grant’s gold shipments, not even from Ed Foley. She wished she knew the whole truth about Foley, suspected Grant was not the innocent he claimed to be. She knew Grant Breckenridge was a prize catch, but sometimes he would get a look in his eyes that gave her the shivers; she could not get out of her mind Cole’s remarks to her the day of the march that Grant was a womanizer, that she was nothing more to him than a trinket he wanted to own.

  She sat down in the loveseat. She also could not forget the fact that Cole had all but said he loved her. Cole Parker loved her. He wanted her to wait for him. How could she not wait for him, even if she wasn’t sure of her own feelings? Cole had suffered much. He deserved a new life, and she didn’t want to do anything to discourage his efforts in finding it. She could not imagine anything more wonderful than having him in her bed every night, knowing the sweet feeling of safety and comfort in his arms. She didn’t feel that way with Grant, but any woman with common sense would tell her Grant was the better pick, rich, powerful, prominent. He lived in a fine stone mansion high above Central … but none of that really mattered to her. He couldn’t love with the intensity of Cole Parker, couldn’t handle himself with fists and guns like Cole could. She hadn’t saved his life, been saved by him in return, traveled with him … slept with him. He hadn’t been in the war, suffered like Cole had. Cole understood her own suffering. Grant didn’t. Grant cared only about Grant.

  Still, how often had Cole disappointed her? He never seemed to be able to make up his mind, and he’d probably change it again. If he did …

  Someone knocked at her back door. She frowned in puzzlement, wondering why they didn’t come to the front. She walked into the kitchen and around the table and chairs. “Who is it?”

  “It’s me—Sassy,” came the reply quietly.

  Addy’s eyes widened in surprise. She opened the door slightly to see Sassy Dillon standing there wearing a hooded cape that hid her face, dressed very plainly so as not to draw attention.

  “Nobody saw me. I made sure of it. I want to talk to you, Mrs. Kane.”

  Addy let her inside. “What on earth are you doing here?”

  Sassy left the hood up. “I wouldn’t want someone to look through a window and see you visiting with the town’s most notorious whore.”

  Addy reddened. “Sassy, I wasn’t so sure I was doing the right thing that day. I’m sorry you and your business got hurt.”

  “Are you?” Sassy sat down in one of the wooden chairs. “Don’t worry about it. I know you must be pretty nice or Cole wouldn’t be so infatuated with you.”

  Addy felt another pang of jealousy as she pulled out one of the other chairs. “He had no right telling you anything about me.”

  “Cole and I have become good friends. He knows things about me nobody else knows, and it’s the same on my side. You can trust me. I won’t say a word, not even to Grant Breckenridge.”

  Addy’s cheeks grew even rosier, this time with anger. “You can’t mean—”

  “I can. I came to tell you it’s true. Grant likes women, no matter if they’re whores, married, single, too young, what have you. Don’t let yourself get too close to him or be charmed by his lies, Mrs. Kane. He’s a bastard, plain and simple. I know Cole cares for you, and he’s on the verge of realizing he needs and wants another family, wants to learn to love again. The man won’t flat-out say it, but I know he’s crazy about you, so I came to ask you to please wait for him like he asked.”

  “Why do you care?” Addy asked with a frown.

  “Because I care about Cole. He’s a good man who went astray. He’s scared to death to love again, but I don’t think he can fight his feelings for you much longer. He’s serious about saving his money up so he can invest in something, start a business, support a family. That’s the only reason he’s working for Grant.”

  Addy folded her hands in her lap. “Cole has made promises before and broken them. He keeps me torn in half, telling me to forget him, riding out of my life, then back again. I’m afraid to believe any more of his promises.”

  “Well, you can believe him this time. Because of how he feels about you, I just felt like it was my duty to come and warn you myself about Grant and tell you Cole is sincere. You should wait for him.”

  Addy rose, jealousy still getting the better of her. “He’s slept with you, hasn’t he?”

  Sassy chuckled. “Only once, way back when we first met, but there’s no doubt in my mind who he’d rather have in his bed. Maybe you’ve already been there.”

  Addy folded her arms, her cheeks feeling hot. “Of course he hasn’t!”

  Sassy laughed her raucous laugh. “Honey, don’t lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. Besides, no more handsome man ever walked the earth, and in bed …” She sighed deeply. “He sure knows how to make a
woman feel good, doesn’t he?”

  “Stop it!” Addy felt like crying. “Please go!”

  Sassy stood up. “Sure. I only came because I know Cole cares about you, and because he cares, I care—enough to warn you about Grant Breckenridge. I’m a lot of things, Mrs. Kane, but I’m no liar. And don’t be blaming Cole for being with me. A man is a man, and at the time he was sure there was no future with you. But he can’t get you out of his mind, and now he’s risking his life just for the pay so he can settle. I came here for your own good, honey.” She looked around the room. “Nice little place Central’s elite built for you. You could marry Grant and be quite the rich lady, run in high circles.” She leaned closer. “But you’re a teacher, well-schooled, a smart lady. Smart enough to know a man like Grant is no good. There’s only one person he gives a damn about, and that’s his son. But women?” She shook her head. “Never just one. Has he told you about Ed Foley? You can bet that whatever caused that man to hate Grant so much, it’s Grant’s fault. Now Cole, he might have done some bad things in his life, but he’s no liar, and he’d never cheat on a wife or a friend.”

  “Perhaps not. But he’s robbed banks and killed men.”

  “Grant Breckenridge has also robbed and killed, for pure greed. He just happens to know how to get away with it legally. Cole’s reasons were different and understandable, but if Cole Parker is an outlaw, so is Grant Breckenridge. Grant is just a rich, smooth-talking sonofabitch who knows how to get away with it. He doesn’t use guns and fists. He uses money and the law. He tricks people with legal papers and he pays people off to lie for him.”

  “Even you?”

  Sassy stiffened, then grinned. “Sure. And why shouldn’t I take his money? I need it—for more reasons than you could ever know.”

  “How do I know you won’t tell Grant what you know about me and Cole? It could destroy both of us. Cole never should have told you any of it. I’m furious with him for doing so!”

  Sassy chuckled. “I know who’s worth protecting and who isn’t, honey. Cole’s been a good friend. I’d never betray him, which means I’d never betray you, either.” She walked to the door. “You’re a lucky woman, Mrs. Kane. You’re young and beautiful, educated, living in a brand new house you don’t even have to pay for, loved by one hell of a man, wanted by another man, one of the richest men in Central. I guess you have some decisions to make, don’t you?”