Table of Contents
   Title Page
   Dedication
   Acknowledgements
   Introduction
   Benjamin Franklin and His Autobiography
   THE COMPLEATED AUTOBIOGRAPHY (1757-90)
   A Continuation of the Account of My Life
   Editor’s Note:
   Chapter One - First Mission to London, 1757–62
   LONDON WAS ONE GREAT SMOKY HOUSE
   I HAVE A THOUSAND TIMES WISHED MY WIFE WITH ME
   ANOTHER OF MY FANCIES: SILK BLANKETS!
   DECEIVED, CHEATED, AND BETRAYED
   A JOURNEY TO CAMBRIDGE
   THE POSSIBILITY OF FREEZING A MAN TO DEATH ON A WARM SUMMER’S DAY
   COOLING BODIES BY EVAPORATION... A POWER OF NATURE
   THE VILLAGE WHERE MY FATHER WAS BORN
   THE BEST ROOM IN THE HOUSE IS CHARITY
   MY FAVORITE COUNTRY
   THE JUNTO: I FIND I LOVE COMPANY
   UNSIZABLE SUBJECTS AND INSUFFICIENT LORDS
   PERFECTING A NEW MUSICAL INSTRUMENT CALLED THE ARMONICA
   I SAW NO SIGNS OF GOD’S JUDGMENTS
   THE FUTURE GRANDEUR AND STABILITY OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE LIE IN AMERICA
   Chapter Two - My Return to Philadelphia, 1762–64
   A PLEASANT PASSAGE TO AMERICA
   THE EXPENSE OF LIVING WAS GREATLY ADVANC’D IN AMERICA
   I WAS ELECTED TO THE ASSEMBLY
   A TOUR OF THE POST OFFICES
   THE SIMPLE BEAUTY OF SCOTTISH TUNES
   A HIGHER OPINION OF THE BLACK RACE
   THE PAXTON BOYS AND THE INDIAN MASSACRES
   THE PROPRIETARY GOVERNMENT WAS WEAK
   RETURN TO LONDON
   Chapter Three - Second Mission to England, 1764–75
   OLD FRIENDS IN LONDON
   GOD IS VERY GOOD TO US IN MANY RESPECTS
   MAGIC SQUARES... AND MAGIC CIRCLES
   THE STAMP ACT, THE MOTHER OF MISCHIEF
   HOW THE STAMP ACT CAME TO BE
   WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HINDERED THE SUN’S SETTING
   A MOB AT MY HOME IN PHILADELPHIA
   I SPOKE MY MIND PRETTY PLAINLY
   I WAS NEVER PROUDER OF ANY DRESS IN MY LIFE
   ENEMIES DO A MAN SOME GOOD
   NEVER ASK, NEVER REFUSE, NEVER RESIGN
   I TRAVELLED A GOOD DEAL FOR MY HEALTH
   REFRAIN FROM ALL IDLE, USELESS AMUSEMENTS
   MY LONG PARTNERSHIP EXPIRES
   AN “UNPROMISING” MARRIAGE SURVIVES AND PROSPERS
   ANY PROFESSION IS PREFERABLE TO AN OFFICE HELD AT PLEASURE
   SEEKING A LAND GRANT
   SOME LATE INCIDENTS BETWEEN PARLIAMENT AND THE COLONIES
   AMERICA IS FAVOURED BY NATURE
   FRANCE: A PRESTIGIOUS MIXTURE OF MAGNIFICENCE AND NEGLIGENCE
   SO MANY INSTANCES OF GOODNESS BY THE RICH!
   A LAW MIGHT BE MADE TO RAISE THEIR WAGES, BUT...
   JOHN WILKES AND DRUNKEN MAD MOBS
   THE MOBS ROAR FOR WILKES AND LIBERTY!
   THE KING OF DENMARK SHOW ’D AN INQUISITIVE MIND
   A MALICE AGAINST US IN SOME POWERFUL PEOPLE
   PERVERSE AND SENSELESS MANAGEMENT OF LORD HILLSBOROUGH
   THE SEEDS ARE SOWN OF TOTAL DISUNION
   VISIT TO NORTHERN ENGLAND: THEIR WORK WAS EXTREMELY HARD
   THE RECOLLECTION OF MY LIFE
   IRELAND AND SCOTLAND IN A MOST WRETCHED SITUATION
   SO MUCH GENERAL COMFORT AND HAPPINESS IN AMERICA
   MY THEORY OF COLDS: I WOULD SIT IN MY CHAMBER WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES WHATEVER
   I SELDOM DINED AT HOME IN WINTER
   OUT OF DEBT... OUT OF DANGER
   SECURING BUILDINGS FROM LIGHTNING
   AN EXPERIMENT TO STILL THE WATERS
   ALL THEIR SCHEMES OF LIFE WERE OVERTHROWN!
   “I’LL BE HANGED IF THIS IS NOT ONE OF YOUR AMERICAN JOKES!”
   THE AFFAIR OF THE HUTCHINSON LETTERS
   EVERY AFFRONT IS NOT WORTH A DUEL
   HUTCHINSON: “THERE MUST BE AN ABRIDGMENT OF WHAT ARE CALLED ENGLISH LIBERTIES.”
   I KEPT SILENT TILL I HEARD OF A SECOND DUEL
   THIS THEY CALL GOVERNMENT!
   MEETING IN THE COCKPIT
   MY SON SAW EVERYTHING WITH GOVERNMENT EYES
   JOURNAL OF NEGOTIATIONS IN LONDON
   COUNTRIES REMOTE FROM THE EYE OF GOVERNMENT ARE NOT WELL GOVERNED
   A CERTAIN LADY DESIRING TO PLAY WITH ME AT CHESS
   THE GOOD CHARACTER OF LORD HOWE
   WHAT THE FRENCH CALL SPITTING IN THE SOUP
   A VISIT FROM THIS GREAT MAN FLATTERED MY VANITY
   “ONE OF THE MOST MISCHIEVOUS ENEMIES THIS COUNTRY HAS KNOWN”
   THE GREATEST OF ABSURDITIES
   WE DID NOT WISH FOR WAR
   BAD WEATHER DOES NOT LAST ALWAYS IN ANY COUNTRY
   I HEARD OF THE DEATH OF MY WIFE IN PHILADELPHIA
   WE WERE TREATED WITH THE UTMOST CONTEMPT
   CONVERSATION EVERYWHERE TURNS UPON THE SUBJECT OF AMERICA
   Chapter Four - Congress and the Declaration of Independence, 1775–76
   NOTHING THOUGHT OF BUT ARMS
   A DELEGATE TO CONGRESS
   THEY ARE A BARBAROUS TYRANNY
   MAKE YOURSELF SHEEP AND THE WOLVES WILL EAT YOU
   YOU ARE NOW MY ENEMY, AND I AM . . . YOURS
   THE RATTLESNAKE AS A SYMBOL OF AMERICA: “DON’T TREAD ON ME”
   THIS BUSTLE IS UNSUITABLE TO AGE
   THE REAL AUTHOR OF COMMON SENSE
   FROM THE PENNSYLVANIA ASSEMBLY TO CONGRESS
   A TRIP TO CANADA
   WE WERE IN A CRITICAL AND MOST IRKSOME SITUATION
   IT IS THE NATURAL RIGHT OF MEN TO QUIT THE STATE
   THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE: WE HAZARD OUR LIVES AND FORTUNES
   BREAKING THAT FINE AND NOBLE CHINA VASE, THE BRITISH EMPIRE
   MEETING WITH LORD HOWE ON STATEN ISLAND
   REBELLION TO TYRANTS IS OBEDIENCE TO GOD
   LIKE CUTTING OFF THE SPRING FROM THE YEAR
   IT WAS LONG FORESEEN THAT WE COULD NOT HOLD NEW YORK
   COMMISSIONER TO FRANCE
   A MIRACLE IN HUMAN AFFAIRS
   THE GREATEST REVOLUTION THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
   WE MAY THEREFORE WITH GREAT PROPRIETY TAKE LEAVE OF ENGLAND
   Chapter Five - Minister to France, 1776–78
   ON MY ARRIVAL I COULD SCARCELY STAND
   I WAS MADE EXTREMELY WELCOME IN FRANCE
   THE COURT VIEWED AN APPROACHING WAR WITH RELUCTANCE
   THE STATE OF AMERICA IN 1776-77
   THIS GENEROUS AND NOBLE BENEFACTION
   OFFICERS OF ALL RANKS WORRY ME FROM MORNING TO NIGHT
   YOU HAVE NO CONCEPTION HOW I WAS HARASS’D
   MODEL OF A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
   OUR CAUSE WAS ESTEEM’D THE CAUSE OF ALL MANKIND
   WE WILL MOST CHEERFULLY RISK OUR PERSONAL LIBERTY OR LIFE
   COMMERCE WITH EVERY NATION; WAR WITH NONE
   OUR PRISONERS COMPLAIN’D OF VERY SEVERE TREATMENT
   TO ME IT SEEMED ALL ALONG THAT THIS WAR WOULD END IN OUR FAVOUR
   THE FLAG CONSISTS OF THIRTEEN STRIPES, ALTERNATELY RED, WHITE AND BLUE
   ABOUT SPIES AND SAFETY
   WE WERE IN IMMINENT DANGER OF BANKRUPTCY
   A SURPRISE VICTORY AT SARATOGA
   ALLIANCE WITH FRANCE IN 1778
   Chapter Six - Minister to France, 1778–79
   I ENJOY’D A GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD OF VERY AGREEABLE PEOPLE
   I GREW PERFECTLY SICK OF PORTRAITS
   I FOUND FRANCE A MOST AMIABLE NATION TO LIVE IN
   SOMEBODY GAVE IT OUT THAT I LOV’D LADIES
   THE PLEASING CONVERSATION OF MADAME BRILLON
   WE CAUSED GREAT INCONVENIENCE BY DETAINING YOU SO LONG IN THE BATH
   “ALL GREAT MEN ARE TAINTED WITH IT: IT IS CALLED THEIR WEAKNESS”
   I CONFESS I BREAK THIS COMMANDMENT CONSTANTLY
   “A WOMAN MAY HAVE DESIRES BUT SHE MUST NOT YIELD”
   “I HAVE CHOSEN YOU FOR MY FATHER”
   “PEOPLE HAVE CRITICIZED MY SWEET HABIT OF SITTING ON YOUR LAP”
   WE PASSED THE DAY TOGETHER AT MOULIN JOLI
   A PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO MADAME HELVÉTIUS
   A DREAM IN “THE ELYSIAN FIELDS”
   MY LONG CONTINU’D FRIENDSHIP WITH MRS. STEVENSON
   GOOD HEALTH FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS
   A PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE
   I HAVE NEVER MADE THE LEAST PROFIT BY ANY OF MY INVENTIONS
   ADVENTURES OF ONE DAY’S ANNOYANCE
   I HAD A GREAT DEAL OF PLEASURE IN TEMPLE AND BEN
   I LOST ALL MY CORRESPONDENCE FOR NEARLY TWENTY YEARS
   FOR OF ALL THINGS, I HATE ALTERCATION
   I WROTE THIS LETTER TO ARTHUR LEE. . . .
   BUT SENT THIS ONE.. . . .
   THEY WROTE ME LONG ABUSIVE LETTERS, WHICH I NEVER ANSWERED
   THE DEFORMED AND THE HANDSOME LEG
   AMERICA MAY BE CHEAPLY GOVERNED
   ON FREE TRADE
   I ASKED CONGRESS TO SEPARATE US
   Chapter Seven - Minister to France, 1779–81
   MY APPOINTMENT AS MINISTER PLENIPOTENTIARY
   LAFAYETTE, HIS BRAVERY AND GOOD CONDUCT
   WAR NEWS FROM HOME
   SOMETIMES I REGRET I WAS BORN TOO SOON
   AN AMERICAN PASSPORT FOR CAPTAIN JAMES COOK
   WASTING OUR WEALTH ON PRODIGALITY
   CORRESPONDENCE WITH MY DAUGHTER, SALLY
   PITY MY SITUATION
   I HAD LONG BEEN HUMILIATED BEGGING FOR MONEY AND FRIENDSHIP
   THIS CURRENCY AS WE MANAGED IT WAS A WONDERFUL MACHINE
   THOSE WHO LOVE TO RECEIVE LETTERS SHOULD WRITE LETTERS
   INTRIGUE AND TREACHERY AT MADAME BRILLON’S
   DO NOT PAY TOO MUCH FOR YOUR WHISTLE
   “I HAVE OFTEN PAID A HIGH PRICE FOR BAD WHISTLES”
   NEW COPPER COINS MIGHT MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON YOUNG PERSONS
   THIS PUT THE ENEMY TO MUCH EXPENSE
   THEIR DEVILISHNESS WEAKENED THAT RESOLUTION
   ONE OF THE GREATEST CAPTAINS OF THE AGE
   MUTINY ON THE ALLIANCE
   I MUST HAVE A LITTLE REPOSE
   THE BEST MEN HAVE THE MOST ENEMIES
   APPOINTMENT OF ROBERT MORRIS AS FINANCE SECRETARY
   RIOTS IN LONDON
   LETTERS FROM HOME
   TWO SORTS OF PEOPLE IN LIFE
   MY DIALOGUE WITH THE GOUT
   “WRAPPED IN THIS WRETCHED GAME OF CHESS, YOU DESTROY YOUR CONSTITUTION”
   BENEDICT ARNOLD’S TREASON
   LONG DELAYS WITH SPAIN
   LEE’S PAMPHLET AGAINST ME
   A FRESH APPLICATION FOR MORE MONEY
   I PASSED MY 75 YEAR AND SOUGHT TO RESIGN
   CONGRESS REFUSES MY RESIGNATION
   ONE MORE REQUEST FOR MY GRANDSON
   A PROPOSED MARRIAGE FOR MY GRANDSON
   A RETURN TO PHILOSOPHICAL AFFAIRS
   THE LOSS AT SEA WAS A HEAVY ONE
   HAZARD NO MORE DRAFTS FROM CONGRESS!
   HOW TO PAY OFF THE WAR DEBTS
   BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS
   MY DISPUTE WITH M. BEAUMARCHAIS
   TO MANY LETTERS I NEVER RECEIVED ANY ANSWER
   I WAS SORRY FOR HIS MISFORTUNES, BUT...
   WE HAVE NO NAME IN OUR LANGUAGE FOR SUCH VILLAINY
   CRUEL CAPTIVITY OVER FOUR YEARS
   HE BRUSQUED THE MINISTERS TOO MUCH
   THERE WAS NOW A GREAT VOID FOR ME IN PASSY
   FIRE AT THE OPERA HOUSE!
   NO SAFETY BUT OUR INDEPENDENCE
   Chapter Eight - Minister to France, 1781–83
   THE GLORIOUS NEWS... GEN. CORNWALLIS CAPITULATES!
   MISFORTUNES MAKE PEOPLE WISE
   DEMANDS AFTER DEMANDS
   LAFAYETTE, A GREAT MAN IN FRANCE
   MR. DEANE’S RESENTMENTS AND PASSIONS OVERCAME HIS REASON AND JUDGMENT
   ADVICE TO MY GRANDSON BENNY: “LOSS OF TIME IS A LOSS OF LEARNING”
   IT’S BAD TO HAVE A REPUTATION OF BEING CHARITABLE
   EXCHANGING PRISONERS ONCE AGAIN
   THE PEACE COMMISSION: A TOTAL CHANGE HAD TAKEN PLACE IN THE MINISTRY
   JOURNAL OF THE PEACE NEGOTIATIONS
   THEY WHO THREATEN ARE AFRAID
   CANADA SHOULD BE GIVEN UP TO US
   I WAS ASHAMED TO LET THE PAPER GO OUT OF MY HANDS
   “MR. FRANKLIN KNOWS THE TRUTH”
   THE RELEASE OF ALL AMERICAN PRISONERS
   IN THE MULTITUDE OF COUNSELORS THERE IS SAFETY
   SUCH FLATTERING LANGUAGE MIGHT HAVE MADE ME VAINER
   THE TRUE LOYALISTS WERE THE AMERICANS
   MR. JAY FINALLY ARRIVES
   I FIND MEN TO BE A SORT OF BEING VERY BADLY CONSTRUCTED
   EXCHANGE OF CORNWALLIS AND MR. LAURENS
   MY LANDLORD WAS FOREVER RENEWING DEMANDS
   I CANNOT COMPREHEND CRUEL MEN
   A PLAN FOR A UNIVERSAL AND PERPETUAL PEACE
   PRESSING ME FOR MORE MONEY
   THE ENGLISH DRAW OUT THE NEGOTIATIONS AT LENGTH
   A TREATY WITH MADAME BRILLON
   THERE WERE FEW PRIVATE HANDS WE COULD TRUST...
   THE TREATY OF PARIS SIGNED
   Chapter Nine - Minister to France, 1783–85
   MR. ADAMS FANCIED THAT WE WERE CONTINUALLY PLOTTING AGAINST HIM
   THIS MONSTROUS PRIDE AND INSOLENCE
   TO THOSE TRAVELLING TO AMERICA
   OUR COUNTRY AFFORDS A GOOD CLIMATE, GOOD LAWS, AND CHEAP GOVERNMENT
   THE BOOK OF STATE CONSTITUTIONS IN FRENCH
   IN AMERICA, PEOPLE DO NOT INQUIRE WHAT IS HE? BUT WHAT CAN HE DO?
   THE MARRIED STATE IS, AFTER ALL OUR JOKES, THE HAPPIEST. . . .
   THE DEATH OF MRS. STEVENSON
   I DETERMINED TO GIVE HIM A TRADE
   THE TREATIES WERE MET WITH GREAT DELAYS
   SEEKING FURTHER AID FROM FRANCE
   ALL PROPERTY IS THE CREATURE OF SOCIETY
   TRADE WITH FRANCE: THE MORE UNRESTRAINED, THE MORE IT FLOURISHES
   NO NATION WAS EVER RUINED BY TRADE
   THERE NEVER WAS A GOOD WAR, OR A BAD PEACE
   AN ACCUSATION THAT FALLS LITTLE SHORT OF TREASON
   WILLIAM PENN WAS A WISE AND GOOD MAN, BUT THOMAS WAS A MISERABLE CHURL
   AIR BALLOONS: WE THINK OF NOTHING BUT OF FLYING
   THERE WAS A GOOD DEAL OF ANXIETY FOR THEIR SAFETY
   ALL PARIS WAS OUT TO SEE IT. ... HALF A MILLION SPECTATORS
   BEING NOW DISABLED BY THE STONE
   THE ORDER OF CINCINNATI: DESCENDING HONOUR IS GROUNDLESS, ABSURD, AND HURTFUL ...
   I WISH THE BALD EAGLE HAD NOT BEEN CHOSEN
   THIS HAS BEEN A TRICK OF MINE FOR DOING A DEAL OF GOOD WITH A LITTLE MONEY
   A SATIRE ON DAYLIGHT SAVING
   STOOP AS YOU GO THROUGH LIFE
   HOPING TO RETURN TO BOSTON
   A NEW COMMISSION
   INVENTION OF DOUBLE SPECTACLES
   MR. MESMER AND ANIMAL MAGNETISM
   ELECTRIC EXPERIMENTS WITH A PARALYTIC PATIENT
   “AMERICANS WERE VERY HAPPY”
   PROPORTIONING PUNISHMENTS ACCORDING TO OFFENSES
   MORE THAN 700 PRIVATEERS COMMISSIONED
   THE DESIRE TO GO HOME TO MY FAMILY IN AMERICA WAS STRONG
   Chapter Ten - The Creation of a New Nation, 1785–87
   GOD BE PRAISED.... I ARRIVE IN DEAR PHILADELPHIA!
   I WROTE A TRUER STATE OF AFFAIRS IN OUR COUNTRY
   INSTEAD OF A FAST THEY PROCLAIMED A THANKSGIVING
   NO PART ARE SO WELL FED, WELL CLOTH’D, WELL LODG’D AND WELL PAID
   NO NATION ENJOYS A GREATER SHARE OF HUMAN FELICITY
   NO REVENUE IS SUFFICIENT WITHOUT ECONOMY
   THE E
XTRAVAGANT REJOICINGS EVERY 4 OF JULY
   “WHY DON’T THESE DAMNED AMERICANS PAY THEIR DEBTS?”
   TAXES AND THE NATIONAL DEBT
   THE INSTRUCTION OF YOUTH ESTEEM’D AMONG THE MOST HONOURABLE
   CHARITABLE INSTITUTIONS ARE OFTEN MISMANAG’D
   I APPLAUD HIS ZEAL FOR PRESERVING THE PURITY OF OUR LANGUAGE
   THAT IS WHY I LOVE LIFE!
   BUILDING IS AN AMUSEMENT IN OLD AGE
   THE INVENTION WAS OF SOME USE TO THE INVENTOR
   I SPENT THE TIME SO IDLY... I SHUFFLED THE CARDS AND BEGAN ANOTHER GAME
   EXERCISE SHOULD PRECEDE MEALS...
   CORRESPONDENCE WITH OLD FRIENDS IN EUROPE
   THE LAST TWELVE YEARS OF MY LIFE WERE EMPLOYED IN MATTERS OF THE GREATEST IMPORTANCE
   SHAYS’S REBELLION, THAT DANGEROUS INSURRECTION
   TOO MUCH PAPER MONEY IS MISCHIEVOUS
   A CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION IN PHILADELPHIA: ONLY A VIRTUOUS PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE ...
   TWO PASSIONS HAVE A VIOLENT EFFECT IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN
   A CONSTANT WARFARE BETWEEN THE GOVERNING AND THE GOVERNED
   SINGLE VS. DUAL LEGISLATURE: THE FABLE OF THE SNAKE WITH TWO HEADS
   REPRESENTATION BY POPULATION OR BY STATE?
   GOD GOVERNS IN THE AFFAIRS OF MEN!
   I CONSENT TO THIS CONSTITUTION BECAUSE THIS SYSTEM APPROACHES SO NEAR TO PERFECTION
   MAY EACH DOUBT A LITTLE OF HIS OWN INFALLIBILITY
   IS THIS A RISING OR A SETTING SUN?
   Chapter Eleven - My Final Years, 1787...
   AMERICA IS TOO ENLIGHTENED TO BE ENSLAVED
   IN AMERICA, ANOTHER WAR WITH THE INDIANS . . .
   AND IN EUROPE, ANOTHER WITH . . .
   AN HONEST HERETIC
   HOW DIFFERENT WAS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!
   SETTLING MY ACCOUNTS WITH CONGRESS
   AS I GROW OLDER, I FIND WRITING MORE PAINFUL
   THE BOSTON MANNER, TURN OF PHRASE, AND ACCENT REVIVE ME
   I WISH I HAD BEEN BORN TWO OR THREE CENTURIES HENCE
   ABUSE OF THE LIBERTY OF THE PRESS
   PENNSYLVANIA IS A GOOD COUNTRY TO DIE IN, THO’ A VERY BAD ONE TO LIVE IN
   MY LOVE OF FRANCE
   THE REVOLUTION IN FRANCE GIVES ME A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN
   THE NEW CONSTITUTION IS APPROVED
   NOTHING IS CERTAIN EXCEPT DEATH AND TAXES
   I BEGIN TO FEEL MYSELF A FREE MAN
   CONSTANT AND GRIEVOUS PAIN
   THE RELIEF OF FREE NEGROES AND THE ABOLITION OF SLAVERY
   THE RELIGION OF JESUS: THE BEST THE WORLD EVER SAW
   I OPPOSED THE CLAUSE OF RELIGIOUS DECLARATION
   I MEAN REAL GOOD WORKS, NOT HOLIDAY-KEEPING AND MAKING LONG PRAYERS
   
 
 The Compleated Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (1757-1790) Page 1