by Debby Holt
In the car, Felix and Freya discussed strategy. Felix, they agreed, would do most of the talking. Once they’d worked out their tactics they lapsed into a silence occasionally broken by Serge who lay at Freya’s feet.
As they turned off the motorway, Felix asked, ‘Did you tell Pam what we were doing today?’
‘No.’ Freya stared out at the green fields on either side of the dual carriageway. ‘Mostly, we talked about my future.’
‘I see.’ Felix hesitated. ‘Did you reach any conclusions?’
‘I think so. Did you know that Percy left Pam his house?’
‘No. I’m glad. She was always so good to him.’
‘I suggested I could rent it from her.’
Felix threw her a startled glance. ‘You’d move there with Lockhart?’
‘Oh… I didn’t tell you. I left him.’ She sounded unconcerned, almost as if it meant nothing at all.
Felix struggled to equate her calm, careless tone with the enormity of what she was saying. He threw a fleeting glance at her. He could see she had no idea what that casual, small statement meant to him. In his mind’s eye, he watched tall, dark, handsome Neil Lockhart fall into the quicksand and disappear slowly from view.
‘I see,’ he said at last in a deliberately neutral sort of tone. ‘As far as Percy’s house is concerned, I think it’s an excellent idea. But it makes more sense if I’m the one to live there. You’re the one who works from home. Serge should stay with you. It would only confuse him, being in Percy’s house without Percy. And if you really imagine I would let you stay down the road while I swan about in comfort in our home, then you don’t know me very well.’
‘I don’t think I do know you,’ Freya said, in that same detached manner. ‘I don’t think I ever did.’ She glanced at the satnav. ‘We turn off soon. I feel nervous now.’
‘We’re not the ones who should be nervous,’ Felix said, but he didn’t talk again. He came off the dual carriageway and negotiated his way through a series of ever-narrowing country lanes on either side of which were large country houses with big gardens and paddocks. Twice, Felix had to slow down for ladies on horseback.
‘Of course we’re in Downton Abbey country,’ Freya murmured. ‘The big house they use is in this area.’ Her fingers drummed on the window. Serge, sensing her discomfort, tried without success to climb on her lap.
And now, finally, the satnav’s perky little flag appeared and they arrived at their destination. They sat and stared at the old wooden gate and the drive that led to a Hampshire cottage: red-brick walls, tiled roof, wisteria trailing across the front. Traversing the front of the house was a big stone patio with garden chairs and a table. On the right of the drive, there was a square lawn with silver birches in the far corner and a variety of shrubs and flowers along the borders.
Felix said at last, ‘He’s done well for himself.’
They walked down the drive without talking. Freya held Serge’s lead. Felix rang the doorbell.
‘Do you realise we’re both dressed in black?’ Freya murmured. ‘We look like Jehovah’s Witnesses.’
A voice called, ‘I’m coming!’ and the door was flung open. A pretty girl in red trousers and a cream top said, ‘Hi, there! You’re early! Do come in and… Oh, isn’t your dog beautiful?’
‘He’s called Serge,’ Freya said, ‘after Serge Gainsbourg.’
‘Right.’ They could see she’d never heard of him but was too polite to say so. ‘I’ll let Xander know you’re here. He’s just changing. I won’t be a moment.’
They watched her run upstairs and heard a brief murmured exchange. Then down she came and invited them into the kitchen. They followed her through the corridor into a big airy room with wooden floors, white-painted furniture and red gingham curtains. A quiche and a bowl of coleslaw covered in cling-film sat on one of the work surfaces. On the middle of the pine table stood a small vase with four white roses. There was a mint-green high chair in the corner and on the wall there was a big noticeboard plastered with photos of a plump smiling baby and various adoring helpers, the most frequent of whom was Xander.
The girl smiled. ‘I’m Poppy,’ she said, ‘but I guess you worked that out!’
‘It’s nice to meet you, Poppy,’ Freya said. ‘You have a lovely home.’
‘I know. We’re very lucky. My gran left it to me.’ Her voice trembled for a moment. ‘She died three years ago.’
Freya walked over to the photo collection. ‘And that’s your baby?’
‘Yes, that’s our little Georgie. She’ll wake up soon and then you can meet her. We called her after my gran.’
Freya smiled. ‘You look too young to be a mother.’
‘I’m twenty-three! Most days I feel very old. Georgie doesn’t sleep too well.’
‘I remember that feeling! Have you known Xander long?’
‘We’ve been together forever! My parents live in the village. Xander’s looked after their garden for years and he used to help out Gran. In fact, he’s been amazing…’ They heard his footsteps in the corridor and his voice ringing out, ‘Hi, there, I’m sorry I wasn’t…’ He stopped in the doorway and looked blankly at his visitors. His clean hair gleamed as did his crisp white shirt, his sleeves rolled up to the elbows. ‘Poppy,’ he said, ‘I thought you said they were Nina and Jason…’
‘Oh.’ Poppy was embarrassed. ‘I assumed they were Nina and Jason.’
‘No,’ Felix said, ‘we’re Felix and Freya.’
Poppy gazed a little uncertainly at Xander.
‘Well,’ Xander began, ‘it’s fantastic to see you both.’ He smiled at Poppy. ‘A long, long time ago I used to work for these people. They were very good to me.’ He scratched his head. ‘This is rotten timing, I’m afraid. I’d so love to catch up on all your news, but we’re expecting guests. They’re rather important. They want to talk about a TV series. Can you believe it? And they’ll be here any minute so…’
‘That’s all right.’ Felix folded his arms. ‘We won’t take much of your time. I needed to ask you something.’ His eyes rested briefly on Poppy. ‘I can say it right now if you like.’
Xander hesitated. ‘I think I heard Georgie stirring. Poppy will want to get lunch ready before she wakes. We’d better get out of her hair. Come and look at our pond before you leave. We’re rather proud of it.’ He strode across to the back door. ‘Come this way then.’
It was a beautiful garden. They stepped out onto a stone path, lined on either side with lavender bushes, beyond which were raised vegetable beds. ‘We suffer from rabbits,’ Xander said. Further on to the left, was a large old garden shed, its roof and walls covered in a cascade of small, starry white flowers – ‘Clematis flammula,’ Xander said. ‘It begins to bloom in August.’ He sounded like a tourist guide anxious to herd his clients through the exhibits as quickly as possible. And now, finally, they reached Xander’s pond, an oasis of calm tranquillity. Beyond it a wooden fence separated the garden from a large meadow.
‘I do love water in a garden,’ Freya said.
Xander put a hand to the back of his neck. ‘I’m afraid I’m rather an evangelist where ponds are concerned. I could go on forever about them.’
‘We mustn’t let you do that,’ Felix said. ‘We know how busy you are.’
‘That’s true.’ Xander glanced briefly at his watch. ‘This is very frustrating. As I said, I would love to chat but…’
‘I’ll be brief,’ Felix assured him. His voice sounded friendly and relaxed but his eyes never left Xander’s face. ‘You see, Freya and I are getting a divorce.’
‘Oh.’ Xander’s expression was one of bewildered concern. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that. Is that what you came to tell me? I don’t quite see why…’
‘It was my decision,’ Felix said. ‘I told her I knew she had an affair with you in Wimbledon.’
‘Oh.’ Xander’s eyes drifted back to the house as if seeking help. ‘I’m sure you must be very upset but…’
‘Freya refuses to ad
mit her guilt. So I suggested we came together to see you.’
Xander gave an incredulous smile. ‘I assure you, Felix, there was nothing to…’
‘The thing is,’ Felix said, ‘a couple of days before we moved, I came home early from work. I saw your hat in the hall and I thought I heard the two of you making love in our bedroom.’
‘Oh dear.’ Xander stared out at the meadow. A thin patina of sweat glistened on his forehead. He put his hands on his hips, stared down at the ground and then fixed his eyes on Felix. ‘This is all rather embarrassing. It was a long time ago. I was young. I admit I had a… a crush on your wife. I do remember telling you that and, on that one occasion, we did get carried away. I felt very bad about it. I still do. It was never meant to happen. I regretted it almost at once. I know Freya did too…’
‘Which is odd,’ Felix persisted, ‘since Freya wasn’t there at the time. Tess was. She was the one in our room with you.’
Xander wiped his forehead with his hand and began rubbing his chin. ‘Look,’ he said, ‘I didn’t want to tell you the truth but I’m going to have to tell you now. The thing is… Tess had been pestering me for months. To be honest, I was embarrassed by her persistence. I came round that afternoon to ask Freya for a reference. Tess was there on her own. She… she told me there was an intruder in your bedroom. I went upstairs to investigate and then she shut the door and started to undress. I told her to stop. She said if I didn’t make love to her she’d pretend I’d assaulted her. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. I suppose I panicked.’
‘And so you felt obliged to have sex with her?’
‘Look, it was the last thing I wanted to do. I was terrified. She was getting hysterical…’
‘Liar!’ Felix leapt forward and punched Xander in the face. Xander lost his footing and fell into the water and Felix waded in after him.
Xander struggled to his feet, shouted, ‘You fucking lunatic,’ and lashed out at Felix, directing a stinging blow at his face. Felix stumbled, rose again like a deranged leviathan and then lost his footing as Xander hit him again. Felix tried to get up. Xander raised a clenched fist and Freya shouted, ‘Don’t you dare!’
She’d released her hold on Serge’s lead and made straight for Xander, plunging into the pond, throwing back her shoulder bag and hitting him hard on the side of his head with it.
‘That’s for hurting my family,’ she yelled. She hit him again. ‘That’s for raping my Tess,’ and then again, ‘And that’s for raping her too!’
Xander, his arms flailing in a desperate attempt to defend himself, yelled, ‘All right, I had sex with her. I didn’t mean to hurt her! I thought she wanted it!’
‘She was thirteen!’ Freya cried. ‘She was only thirteen!’
Xander lunged at Freya and now she too fell into the water. Xander pushed his way out onto dry land and was set upon by a frenzied Serge, barking in a high-pitched fury and pushing his teeth into Xander’s ankles. Xander shouted, ‘Get off, you fucking animal… Get off…’
‘Xander?’ Poppy’s voice stunned them all, even Serge. Freya ploughed across to Felix who was trying with obvious difficulty to get up on his feet. She helped him out of the pond, picked up the lead and called out, ‘Serge, come here.’ Serge issued an impressive growl at Xander but did as he was told and allowed Freya to fix his lead to his collar.
Xander seemed to be rooted to the spot. Felix pushed the wet hair back from his face and limped up to the group of onlookers. Poppy stood clutching baby Georgie. Beside her stood a young couple. They both wore sunglasses and they both held mobiles. The young man appeared to be videoing Xander.
Felix wiped blood from his lip and nodded at Poppy. ‘We were just leaving,’ he said. ‘We can see ourselves out.’
‘Come along, Serge,’ Freya murmured. She took Felix’s arm and they made a slow progress up the path and through the house, their shoes squelching as they did so, a thin trail of water marking their progress.
‘I think,’ Felix gasped, as they shut the front door behind them, ‘I’ve done something to my ankle.’ He winced with pain. ‘Would you be able to drive?’
‘Of course. Lean on me.’ Freya’s black shirt clung to her skin like glue. ‘We could stop somewhere if you like. We could go into Andover.’
‘I am not walking through Andover looking like this.’
They stood by the car, doing their best to shake off the excess water. ‘Thank God I have my case in the boot,’ Freya said. ‘I’ll find some dry clothes. We’d better get your trousers off before your ankle starts swelling.’
It took time to pull them off. Freya helped him exchange his wet shirt for her black polo-neck jersey and it stretched with visible protest over his chest. At least Freya could change into her own clothes. She found clean underwear and her blue shirt dress and sandals. Finally, she helped Felix into the car and Serge leapt in after him. She went round to the driver’s seat, looked at Felix and smiled. ‘I shall never be able to wear that jumper again. How do you feel?’
He nodded. ‘I’m all right.’
‘You’ve split your lip,’ she said. ‘It’s bleeding.’
‘There was a big stone in the pond. If I hadn’t tripped over it, I’d…’
‘I’m glad you did. I got to join in the fight. He’d have hit you when you were down. I did enjoy hitting him. He did look scared.’
‘So he should be. I know how much stuff you keep in your bag.’
She turned on the ignition and cast another quick glance at him. ‘You look like you’ve been hit by a steamroller.’
‘I feel like I’ve been hit by a steamroller.’
Freya put a hand to his mouth and brushed away the thin streak of blood. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to stop for…’
‘I don’t want to stop for anything.’ Felix tried to shift his position and then winced with pain. ‘I’d just like to go home.’ He put a hand to his mouth. ‘I know you wanted to get to London today. If we can…’
‘I can go back to London tomorrow. I’ll make up a bed in the spare room.’
‘That won’t be necessary.’ Felix shifted his stricken ankle with difficulty. ‘You can have your own room. I’ve been in the spare room since you left me.’
Freya put her foot on the accelerator. ‘You mean, since you told me you wanted to leave me.’
Felix shut his eyes. ‘I don’t know what I mean,’ he said.
Olivia came home at ten and stopped dead at the sight of Anna. ‘Oh my God,’ she said, ‘what have you done?’
Anna was making a mug of tea. She put the kettle down. ‘Are you referring to my hair?’
‘It’s auburn. You’ve dyed it. Why’ve you dyed it?’
‘Solidarity with my sister,’ Anna said. ‘She’s left you some chocolates on your bed.’
‘She didn’t have to do that.’
‘I know. I told her. I don’t suppose you’ve been able to talk to Jason yet?’
‘No, I haven’t had a moment.’
‘Oh but…’
Olivia grinned. ‘Of course I’ve talked to him. He says as long as he lives he will never forget this afternoon.’
‘Oh my God, what happened? I’ve been thinking about it all day. Did Jason get my text? I know my parents wanted to confront Xander. I wanted Jason to know they weren’t mad. I wanted Jason to know Xander raped Tess.’
‘He got your text when they drove back to London. He couldn’t get back to you because he had a call from his boss. He’d sent him the film and…’
‘Jason sent him a film? What film? Tell me. Tell me what happened.’
‘I can show you.’ Olivia pulled her phone from her bag. ‘Jason managed to get most of the fight on his mobile. You know you said you’d like to beat the crap out of Xander Bullen? Well, your parents got there first.’
‘Jason won’t make it public, will he? The last thing Tess needs is…’
‘Of course he won’t. He knew I’d want to see it, that’s all.’ Olivia leant over the kitchen bar, h
er hands holding her mobile. ‘Watch this and see Xander’s hopes of TV stardom die a very, very watery death.’
There was no question of going back to London. Felix was not well. He made a brave but unsuccessful attempt to eat the supper Freya made and she insisted he go to bed. She took him up a hot drink at ten. He was in his pyjamas but was hobbling about, laying out clothes on the floor.
‘Felix,’ she said, ‘what on earth are you doing?’
‘I’m packing. If I can get to Percy’s house in the morning…’
‘You’re crazy,’ she told him. ‘You have a fever. Your left eye is almost completely closed. Your face looks like someone’s thrown a paint-box over it. You’re not going anywhere. I’ll stay on for a bit…’
His voice was unexpectedly fierce. ‘That’s not fair on you. I can’t ask you to do that.’
‘No,’ she agreed, ‘you can’t. This is my decision. I will stay here until your fever’s gone and your face looks halfway normal. Now get into bed.’ She stood and watched him struggle onto the mattress. She put down the mug and helped to lift his injured ankle up and under the duvet. ‘Good. Now have your drink and try to sleep. Did you take the painkillers I gave you?’
‘Yes. Thank you. Freya, I need to say…’
‘No. You don’t need to say anything. Not tonight. Go to sleep.’
She went downstairs and accompanied Serge into the garden, watching him make a fastidious study of the flower bed until he found the right place in which to lower his haunches. She took him back to the kitchen, said goodnight and went upstairs with a glass of water.
In bed, she lay looking out at the stars, revelling in the silence of the countryside. She could hear Felix sneeze and, a few moments later, she sneezed too. She had thought she would find it difficult to sleep tonight but it was easy. All she had to do was to close her eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Anna had suggested to Tess that they meet for a brunch on Saturday, a fortuitous idea since she’d stayed up late with Olivia on Friday night and needed a lie-in. She arrived at the café in Fulham at ten thirty and ordered strong black coffee.