by Neal, Xavier
“Sorry about the lights but you’ll adjust. I’m going to set you down while I run your bath okay?
“Okay.” He set me gently on a bench near the tub. I tried to adjust my eyes to the blinding light and looked around the enormous room. His bathroom was bigger than any bedroom I’d ever slept in. The tub sat in the center of the room near the floor to ceiling window that overlooked a city in the distance that I assumed was Portland. I saw a wardrobe on the far side of the room and his and her sinks lined one of the walls.
“Wow, this is quite a bathroom, Dallas.” I felt strange inside. I reminded myself that I was being held against my will and any normal woman would be frightened, should be frightened. I felt oddly comfortable with Dallas. Just another confirmation that my brain didn’t work like others. Another confirmation that I wasn’t cut out to be a wife and mother. I wanted it. I really did, but it wasn’t me. It didn’t matter how hard I tried it wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t good enough.
“Hey, where did you go?” Dallas’ gentle voice pulls me from my thoughts. Why was I even thinking about my failed marriage and failed stint at motherhood? I’d moved on. Moved passed it. When I missed my son a little too much I just threw some vodka down my throat and fell into my “Vodka Dreams.” That was the problem. I was dry. No liquor in God knows how long. I became aware of the trembling again and my stomach lurched, craving the clear fluid that had become my best friend.
“Lucy, come back to me. Come on, Lucy. Let’s get you in the bathtub.” I heard his voice but couldn’t answer. I was stuck inside my thoughts. Manic, that’s the only way to describe me. Manic, without my clear medication. I felt his hands on me, gently lifting the nightgown I was wearing over my head. I felt a rush of cool air once the gown was off. I knew I wasn’t wearing a bra or panties and that I should feel embarrassed, modest, but again I didn’t. I was beginning to think that I was incapable of feeling. His arms encompassed me then lifted me off of the floor before setting me carefully into the enormous bathtub.
The warm water enveloped me. I slid my body further into the tub and sucked in a mouthful of air and slid more until I was completely under water. I closed my eyes and held my breath reveling in the warmth surrounding me. Enjoying the feeling of weightlessness the water allowed me. Again, my thoughts turned to my son, my handsome little boy who did nothing more than be born to two selfish human beings. I was watching his face, smiling, giggling and enjoying this private moment with him. It had been so long that he occupied my entire thoughts. So long since I pictured his smiling face.
I felt hands wrap around my arms and jerk me out of the water. I gasped for air and sputtered, irritated for the interruption and for the water that made it up my nose thanks to his pulling me up.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I yelled. He came to stand in front of me, his normal inviting and warm face was hard, angry.
“I warned you, Lucy, nothing crazy. What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck are you doing? You just checked out.”
“Why didn’t you let me check out? I was happy for a minute and you ruined it. What am I doing here with you anyway? What the hell is going on? Why do you give a shit if I check out or not?” I was yelling at him. I needed a drink to even my emotions out.
“I need a drink, Dallas.” He didn’t respond but walked away toward the sink, turned the handle and filled a cup. He came back, offering me the cup of water.
“No, I need something stronger than water. I need alcohol, Dallas.” I held out my trembling hand to show him that I physically needed it.
“No,” he said then grabbed a bottle of shampoo, squirting the creamy soap into his hands. He began washing my hair.
“What do you mean no? I’m sick, I need it. I won’t stop shaking. Just one shot, please.” I was begging, shamelessly. Who did he think he was anyway, telling me no?
“Lay back,” he ordered pushing my head into the water, but not completely submerging my face. I watched him, confused still. He pulled me back up and massaged conditioner through my hair before rinsing and beginning the cleansing of my body.
“I know you think you need it, Lucy, but I won’t let you have any. I don’t keep liquor in the house anyway but if I did I wouldn’t share it with you.” He poured water on my body, rinsing off the soap that smelled like vanilla. “Come on, it’s time to get out.” I stood and stepped into the towel he was holding. He continued his care of me, drying me off from my hair to my toes.
“I don’t understand why I’m here. Please tell me why I’m here,” I tried again. He sucked in a deep breath of air and met my eyes. His bright jade eyes were framed by heavy black lashes and pierced into me.
“All of your questions will be answered but not tonight. You have a long road ahead of you. There will be plenty of time for questions. I will tell you this though, I have great plans for you but you have to be sober. As long as you’re with me, which is going to be for a long time, you will be sober. If you ask for alcohol again you will be punished. I’m going easy on you tonight because I know your physical limits, but next time I won’t be easy. Clear?”
“What the hell does that mean, punish me?”
“Come, it’s time to go back to your room.” He led me back to my room, not another word was spoken. I was even more confused but still not afraid. I was a little excited by him. I felt a foreign feeling in my lower belly, one that disappeared many years ago.
“I trust you will find your accommodations sufficient. I will agree not to cuff you to the bed again if you agree not to try to escape. However, your door will be locked. There is a window but it’s locked from the outside and the glass is bulletproof. Get some rest. WE will discuss things further in the morning.” He turned to leave, but I stopped him, not wanting him to leave me in there alone just yet.
“Wait, Dallas. I don’t know how long I’ve been here but my stomach is growling. I’d love something small to eat and drink, please.”
“Of course, how thoughtless of me. I’m usually better at tending to my guests needs. I will bring you back a tray of food.” He quickly left the room, locking the door behind him. I looked out the window to darkness. There was no glow of city lights. No street lights. Just a sea of darkness. A story my mother used to tell me drifted through my head. Be careful looking out the window at night, you never know who might be looking back at you. The thought used to scare me as a child, but I hadn’t felt fear in a very long time. I don’t think I am capable of feeling fear or anything else really. I kept telling myself to turn away from the window, but I couldn’t. I stood there, willing someone to look back at me. After a while all I saw was my own reflection, which oddly enough, frightened me so I went back to the bed.
I waited a few more minutes before he brought in a tray of food. Soup, crackers, and water. Where was I, in prison? I looked at the measly meal then back to Dallas. My stomach actually began to growl when the scent of beef soup found its way to my nostrils. I do have some feelings left, hunger. As though he could read my mind he said softly, “I know it’s not much but I’ve had you here for a few days now. I think it’s a good idea to start light.” He looked at me and his eyes said they were sorry. I nodded in agreement and took the tray from him.
After I was settled against the head of the bed, tray on my lap, I began spooning the delicious soup into my mouth and swallowing into my eagerly waiting belly. My hands were trembling but I knew that was from lack of liquor. I hate that feeling. I don’t like to shake. I look up to find him watching me, which doesn’t help the shakes.
“Do you mind?” I said between bites.
“Sorry, it’s just good to see you eating. You’re still pretty shaky.”
“Yeah, well my body knows what it wants and likes to make me suffer if I don’t supply it.” I continued eating, trying to forget that he was watching me. After a few more bites I took a sip of water and felt full. He was right, a little at a time. I handed the tray back to him. “Thank you. That was delicious,” I offered and he smiled. “I’ll be sure to
tell Campbell’s their soup pleased you.” He moved from the bed and set the tray on the dresser.
“When will you tell me what I’m doing here?”
“Soon. When you’re well.”
“I’ll never be well, Dallas. I’m not sure what you’re doing here but if you’re trying to save me, don’t. I can’t be saved. I’m broken and there is no fixing it. The only thing that numbs the pain is the vodka and I have no intention of giving it up. So, stop the charade and tell me what I’m doing here.” My voice raised slightly. I needed him to know that I wasn’t worth whatever he had in mind.
“Lucy, you are worth it and you’re not broken, maybe a little bruised but not broken. Stop questioning me. I can’t tell you what I’m doing because I’m not sure anymore. My plans have changed but one thing that hasn’t is my need to get you well and I will. Just give it a chance.” He smiled at me but before I could respond, he slipped out the door and I heard the turn of the lock. I laid back on the bed, defeated for the moment.
Available now on Amazon
Other books by Xavier Neal
Senses Series:
Vital (Prequel) Found in Interwoven
Blind (Book 1)
Deaf (Book 2
Numb (Book 3)
Hush (Book 4)
Savor (Book 5)
Callous (Book 6)
Agonize (Book 7)
Suffocate (Book 8)
Mollify (Book 9)
Senses Series Box Set (Books 1-5)
Havoc Series
Havoc (Book 1)
Chaos (Book 2)
Insanity (Book 3)
Collapse (Book 4)
Devastate (Book 5)
Havoc Series Box Set (Books 1-3)
Never Say Neverland
Get Lost
Lost in Lies
Lies Mistrust and Fairy Dust (Coming Soon)
Adrenaline Series
Classic
Vintage
Masterpiece (Coming Soon)
Connect with Xavier Neal
Links: www.xavierneal.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/XavierNealAuthorPage
Twitter: @XavierNeal87
Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4990135.Xavier_Neal
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