by Penny Avis
‘You saw Carl this morning and he said someone came in and saw us, actually, well, at it? Is that what he said?’
Rachel nodded.
‘Oh my God, how embarrassing! Do you think they watched?’ Shali asked.
That hadn’t even occurred to Rachel. Probably.
‘No, no, I shouldn’t think so,’ she said to Shali. ‘The way Carl described it, they just looked in and then left again.’
‘Oh no!’ Shali covered her face with her hands. ‘What a total disaster. I’m meeting Rowan tonight.’ Shali looked up anxiously at Rachel. ‘He said that he’d told you?’
‘Yes, he did. He said he wants to explain things to you face to face,’ said Rachel.
‘I know. He’s such a nice guy. I said it wasn’t necessary but he insisted.’ Shali stared slightly dreamily out of the window.
‘He’s working things out with Laura, you know,’ said Rachel, slightly unnerved.
‘Yes, I know. Will you call him first? Tell him that we were seen. I can’t bear to.’
‘Yes, okay, if you want. Also, Carl made it pretty clear he wants the people who know who it was to own up. I don’t think he’s exactly expecting Rowan to drop in and see him, so that means you and me,’ said Rachel.
‘And if we don’t?’ Shali asked.
‘He can work it out anyway. He probably just needs to talk to more people to show that he can confirm the descriptions,’ said Rachel.
‘So damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Great,’ said Shali.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their drinks and staring at the other people happily enjoying their lunches, oblivious to their crisis.
‘I guess I’ll have to go and see Carl. That will probably be better than him asking loads of questions. Do you think it will get out?’ Shali asked.
‘It shouldn’t do,’ said Rachel. ‘This sort of thing is meant to be confidential.’ But hardly ever is, she thought.
‘God, I bet I get a right bollocking,’ said Shali.
‘I’m sure you can explain that it was just a one-off and that you don’t usually do that sort of thing.’
They both knew that wasn’t quite true.
‘Anyway, Carl is hardly one to talk − Mr Hotel Room himself,’ said Shali. ‘Maybe I should do a deal with him: we won’t tell if he doesn’t.’
‘Well, he’s denied he’s seeing Audrey and I didn’t actually see them do anything, so we can’t prove it,’ said Rachel. ‘Anyway, that would be madness, far too risky. He’d probably shop us for trying to blackmail him.’
‘Alright, stupid plan. I’ll have to tell him I was with Rowan,’ said Shali, now resigned to the fact that she had no choice but to own up.
‘I’m sure he’ll talk to me about that too,’ said Rachel. ‘I’ll get some big lecture about my choice of guests at important functions.’
‘Better than being fired.’
‘They won’t fire you!’ said Rachel. ‘It’s not that bad.’
‘Are you sure? I bet they could if they wanted to,’ said Shali.
‘Well, they won’t want to. You’re too highly rated. They’ll probably just send you on a training course or something,’ said Rachel.
‘What, a course on how to keep your knickers on? That would be a new one for Payne Stanley,’ said Shali.
They both giggled loudly at the thought.
Rachel looked at her watch. ‘I’d better get back. Got a major “shit hitting the fan” meeting to prepare for.’
‘God, what a pair we are!’ said Shali.
As Rachel walked back to work, her phone beeped in her bag. She had a text from Harry: Have been total fool. Can we talk? I need you, babe. H.
She stared at it sadly. ‘Well, I don’t need you,’ she said out loud to herself, and texted back the first words that jumped into her head: Leave me alone. It’s over. Before she could change her mind, she pressed send and saw her words flash on the screen. Is that what she really meant to send? Was that really true? Too late now.
Rachel rang Carl as soon as she got back to the office after lunch. She confirmed their appointment with Tom Duffy first thing in the morning and then went on to tell him about the invoiced amounts being less than the amounts noted in the black book.
‘He’s still charged them over the odds,’ Rachel explained. ‘But we think that he’s kept some of the cash for himself and only put the lower amounts through the books.’
Rachel couldn’t help herself and added, ‘And Audrey does all Lloyd’s paperwork for him, so we think she must be in on it too.’
‘You’ve just noticed this?’ Carl asked.
‘Yes, when we sat down this morning to get the supporting information you wanted. We’ve looked up every invoice that we have names for. They’re all less than the amount in the black book.’
‘Maybe the black book isn’t the right amount?’ Carl suggested.
‘Well, why would they bother to write it down then? When I saw Francesca Hart come in she was there when Lloyd wrote in the book. She gave them cash at the time and I’m sure what they wrote is what she agreed to pay.’
‘Okay, well get down everything you have and let’s talk to Tom tomorrow. This really isn’t great,’ said Carl.
‘I know,’ said Rachel. For anyone, she thought.
Rachel was determined to show that she was organised and in control for when Carl came out in the morning. As she ran though her to-do list, she realised in horror that she hadn’t rung Clive Steele from the PR company as Tom had asked her to. He was bound to ask her about it in the morning. She quickly picked up her phone. Clive Steele wasn’t in, so she was put through to one of his team.
‘Tim Archer, can I help you?’
‘Oh yes, good afternoon, this is Rachel Altman from the corporate finance team at Payne Stanley. We’re working with the Beau Street Group at the moment and Tom Duffy asked if I could give Clive Steele a call to see if we could help provide you with some information for their new marketing plan. I understand that Clive isn’t in at the moment.’
‘Yes, that’s right, but it’s me that you probably want to speak to anyway as I’ll be leading the work from our side. Clive runs the place,’ said Tim.
Rachel had thought she recognised Clive’s name but she was pretty sure she didn’t know anyone who was the head of a PR company. It must be someone else.
‘Oh, I see,’ said Rachel. ‘When would you like to meet? Early next week works for me.’
It would be good to get the Equinox presentation out of the way first.
‘That’s too late for our deadline, I’m afraid. I was hoping that we could meet as soon as possible. Tomorrow would be ideal,’ said Tim.
Tomorrow! That didn’t give her much time to prepare, but at least she could report progress to Tom when they met. Plus, she’d forgotten to phone them and she could do without getting the blame for them missing their deadline. She would just have to fit them in.
‘I’m busy first thing, so it would have to be after that. Maybe around lunchtime?’
‘Midday would work for me,’ said Tim.
‘Fine, let’s do that,’ said Rachel, looking wearily at her packed diary. At least they were getting paid extra for helping this PR company out.
That evening, Rachel lay exhausted on the sofa in her flat talking to Rowan on the phone. She’d got hold of him on his way to meet Shali and he was equally mortified that they’d been seen.
‘Shit, Rachel, that’s awful!’
‘I know, I’m sorry, but I thought it was only fair that you knew,’ said Rachel.
‘God, I wonder which side of the room the adjoining door was?’ said Rowan.
‘Does it matter?’ Rachel asked.
‘Well, yes, it does. Did they see our heads, or well, how can I put it, not our heads. Oh what a nightmare, it doesn’t bear thinking about.’
All sorts of images flashed through Rachel’s head that she quickly tried to get rid of.
‘I guess you’ll never know,’ said Rachel. ‘The thing is that work knows it was Shali. One of the staff gave enough of a description that they could work it out.’
Rachel told Rowan all about her meeting with Carl Stephens and accusing him of seeing Audrey Fox.
‘He is so seeing her, the lying bastard.’
‘Did you actually see anything?’ Rachel asked.
‘I saw them holding hands. Well, he had his hand on her arm, anyway,’ said Rowan.
‘That’s not quite the same as holding hands. Maybe that was just in an old friends sort of way,’ said Rachel.
‘I’m sure his wife wouldn’t have thought so if she’d seen them,’ said Rowan.
‘Maybe, but I guess we can’t be sure. Anyway, I’m afraid Shali is going to have to own up to Carl that it was her. Otherwise she’ll just get in more trouble. So I thought I’d better warn you. Just so you know. If it does get round then people will probably work out that Shali was with you,’ said Rachel.
‘It’s bound to get round,’ said Rowan. ‘I know what your place is like − no one can keep anything quiet. But I guess there’s not much I can do about it now. Will Shali be in big trouble?’
‘Hard to say for sure. She might get away with a warning, but it will still be on her files and that’s not great,’ said Rachel. ‘She’ll just need to behave herself for a while, let it all die down.’
‘Shit, I feel even worse now,’ said Rowan. ‘Good thing you caught me before I meet her. It gives me a bit more time to work out what to say to her.’
‘Where does Laura think you are?’ Rachel asked.
‘Out with a mate from university. More lies.’
‘That should be it after today, though,’ said Rachel, waiting for Rowan to agree with her.
He didn’t. ‘Well, you can tell that boyfriend of yours that it’s the last time I play drinking games with him for a while. Far too dangerous.’
Rachel felt a lump in the back of her throat and tears pricked at her eyes. ‘He’s not my boyfriend anymore. We’ve split up,’ she said slowly.
‘What! Why?’ Rowan asked.
‘It’s complicated.’
‘It generally is,’ said Rowan.
Rachel told Rowan what had happened.
‘So my life is now total shit,’ said Rachel. ‘Everything is going wrong.’
‘Have you seen Harry since?’ Rowan asked.
‘No, he’s texted me saying how sorry he is. Bit late for that,’ said Rachel.
‘Maybe you should give Harry a chance, Rachel. Listen to what he has to say. You know, sometimes us blokes do really stupid things, even to people we love. I should know.’
‘Rowan, he was going to steal from me and sell the story to the papers!’
‘So you could have a better future together,’ said Rowan.
‘You don’t believe that load of old crap, do you? I’d have thought that you of all people would see through that.’
‘I think that it’s possible that he believed it, which is what matters. He probably just didn’t think it through properly. You know how impetuous he is,’ said Rowan.
‘That’s no excuse,’ said Rachel. ‘Anyway, we’re not having this conversation. Stop defending him. It’s over and that’s that.’
‘Alright, alright,’ said Rowan. ‘Just trying to put the other point of view across. Sometimes things aren’t as black and white as they seem. At least you and Shali are talking again.’
‘She’s been great, to be honest. Totally behind me,’ said Rachel.
‘Of course she is,’ said Rowan.
‘Say hi and tell her I’ll call her tomorrow when you see her, will you?’ Rachel asked.
‘I’ll give her a kiss from you too, if you like,’ said Rowan, adding quickly, ‘only joking.’
‘That’s not funny, Rowan,’ said Rachel.
‘No, sorry. Look, I’d better go. Are you sure you’ll be okay?’
‘I’ll be fine,’ said Rachel.
Would she really be fine? Rachel wasn’t sure. And the prospect of meeting Tom Duffy in the morning to break the bad news didn’t exactly make her feel any better.
She got up and was on her way to run a bath when the phone rang.
‘Please don’t hang up,’ said Harry as soon as she answered.
‘What do you want?’ she asked. Her legs felt a bit wobbly so she sat down on the stairs.
‘To see you. To say sorry.’
‘I think it’s a bit late for sorry. The damage has been done,’ said Rachel.
‘Can we at least meet? Just give me a chance to explain. Half an hour − that can’t hurt, can it? Look, I’ll be in the pub on the corner in an hour. I’ll wait there,’ said Harry.
‘I don’t know, Harry, is there any point?’
‘Please, think about it. I’ll wait anyway, until closing time.’
‘Harry, I…’
But he rang off before Rachel could say anything else.
As she lay in the bath she looked at the bathroom clock. Harry would be in the pub soon, ordering himself a pint, playing the fruit machine. She couldn’t decide whether to meet him or not. Would her anger at him be enough to hold back the inevitable charm offensive? And if she wasn’t having him back, what would it achieve? But on the other hand, she did want to hear him say sorry. Maybe that would make her feel better, make it easier to move on.
Although she’d thought she’d still not made a decision, Rachel soon found herself standing in front of her wardrobe choosing something to wear. What sort of outfit would best portray terribly hurt but in control? She hated the fact that she was shallow enough to care what she wore, but the truth was she did. She carefully picked out a pair of tight-fitting black trousers, a black vest and long chunky-knit cream cardigan. The comforting softness of the cardigan seemed like the right balance against the sharp black outline underneath. Then she spent several minutes doing her make-up to ensure it looked like she wasn’t wearing any, and then left for the pub. Half an hour, that was all she would give him.
As Rachel approached the pub, she started to feel really nervous and wrapped her cardigan tightly round herself. She saw Harry straight away, sitting at a table near the bar. The red patterned carpet and dark brown wooden tables seemed to make the atmosphere in the pub even more dingy than usual.
Harry stood up. ‘Hi. I’m so glad you came. What would you like to drink?’
Rachel could tell he was nervous too. ‘Diet coke, please,’ she said, not really trusting herself to drink anything stronger.
‘You’ve got half an hour,’ she said as Harry sat back down.
‘I’ve really missed you,’ said Harry and put his hand on Rachel’s arm.
She pulled it away. ‘Why should I even listen to you?’ she asked.
‘I’m really sorry, Rachel. I acted like a complete idiot and you have every right to be furious with me. But I didn’t know that I could have caused you so much trouble,’ said Harry.
‘It would have been obvious if you’d taken two seconds to think about it,’ said Rachel.
‘Well, that’s it, you see. I’ve been thinking about this and I honestly don’t know if it would.’ Harry sat forward excitedly, keen to make his point. ‘You see, I don’t really listen that much when you talk about your work and so I didn’t understand what sort of responsibilities you have. So it wasn’t so much that I didn’t think about you, I just didn’t actually know that it would matter so much.’
He sat back, looking quite pleased with his argument, which he felt got him, at least partially, out of jail.
‘Why didn’t you listen to me?’ said Rachel, somewhat taken aback by Harry’s reasoning.
‘Well, it wasn’t, er, very interesting. All those facts and figures, you know, not really my thing,’ said Harry.
Rachel looked at him. ‘You don’t find me interesting?’
‘Of course I find you interesting! In fact, I think you’re
amazing. But that’s not the same as being interested in your work,’ said Harry.
He’s like a child, thought Rachel. How could he possibly think that telling me he doesn’t listen to me will make things better!
‘You can’t separate the two, Harry. What I do comes as part of me. It’s a package. You can’t just pick off the bits you like and ignore the rest. You think I’m interested in your endless sports stories? I listen to them because they’re about you and that’s what makes them interesting, not the subject itself.’
Harry looked deflated. ‘Look, I’ll try much harder from now on. We can talk whenever you like about your day, what you’ve been doing, and I promise I’ll pay attention,’ he said.
‘Harry, this is a relationship we’re talking about, not a study course,’ said Rachel.
‘What do you want me to do then?’ Harry asked. ‘Just say and I’ll do it.’
Rachel sighed and shrugged her shoulders. ‘I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that this isn’t working.’
‘Well, I want to make it work,’ said Harry. ‘I want us to be back to normal, spending time together, out having a good time.’
‘That’s what you really want, isn’t it? A good time girl who isn’t too complicated. Someone who’ll settle down, look after the kids and cook you dinner every night. Not someone with a career, a life of her own, that disrupts your social life,’ said Rachel.
‘That’s not true,’ said Harry. ‘I want you and everything that comes with it. And I don’t want someone cooking me dinner every night. Three nights a week is plenty.’ He grinned at her.
‘This isn’t a joke, Harry,’ said Rachel.
‘No, no, of course it isn’t,’ said Harry, trying not to smile. ‘Look, can’t we at least try? Give it another chance, see if I can do better?’ he asked.
‘Is this really what you want, Harry? Us together, you know, long term. Because there’s no point us going through all of this for some temporary fix,’ said Rachel.
‘It is what I want,’ said Harry. ‘Definitely.’
‘And what about my career, what if I keep working no matter what happens?’ She couldn’t bring herself to mention children.