I’d never get enough of those dimples.
“You weren’t going to kick my ass, sweetheart, I was letting you win.”
“Bullshit!” I laughed out loud and he had to join me, knowing too well that I would have wiped the floor clean with him.
“If we go down to the Riviera Grill, we can have dinner with that drink,” Gage suggested, I was very much in agreement, steak and a cold beer suited me just fine.
The grill was busy. We waited for a table while enjoying a beer at the bar.
“What do you do for a living?” I asked, interested to know all about my new friend.
“Um…security,” his answer was vague, not unlike his answers at our first meeting during dinner.
“What kind of security?”
“Private security,” he revealed.
I pictured him in a black suit, with black glasses and an earpiece tucked in his ear with a microphone hidden in his palm, like the guys that guard the President. Too funny when I thought about his blond surfer hair in that whole mix, I honestly had to reexamine that idea. “That sounds exciting.”
“Not really. What do you do?”
“I’m a paralegal, an out of work paralegal at the moment,” I said, hopefully I would rectify that after my surgery.
“Brains and Beauty,” he said, and I had to laugh, but noticed that he didn’t, he just watched me with a blank stare. He didn’t share my sense of humor, didn’t get that I had a tendency to hide behind jokes and laughter when it came to matters of my appearance.
“What part of the US are you from? Mr. Don’t-give-away-too-much.” I asked, sarcastically.
“Very funny, I live in New York, for now that I,” he spun his beer mug, “my living arrangements may change when I get back.”
“Me too.”
“What, you may be moving too?”
“No smart ass. I’m from New York.” He didn’t seem surprised by my answer; I thought perchance he’d be happy that we could still be friends after the cruise. Guess I was wrong.
“Don’t worry. I won’t look you up after the cruise. I’m not into stalking,” I promised, giving the Girl Guide salute and he laughed.
“You never know, we may run into each other one day when you least expect it. New York isn’t that big.”
I raised my brows and laughed. “Sure New York, tiny little New York.” And he couldn’t help but laugh too.
After we devoured the best steak I’d had in years, a heap of fries each and a few more beers than planned we took a walk on the Promenade deck, yeah I know, the lovers deck, yada, yada, yada. Gage didn’t say much and I was just enjoying being with him. We both snickered like school kids when we came upon our newlyweds, at it like usual on a bench groping at each other and moaning aloud. I had to wonder if they ever came up for air.
“I guess that’s love,” I said, not knowing what else to say, the situation was a bit uncomfortable.
I didn’t even know their names, we were never formally introduced, I couldn’t even tell you what they looked like when they weren’t conjoined like Siamese twins. To be that in love, I’d be interested in seeing them in ten years. Would they still stare into each other’s eyes and hang on every word, lips locked and hands meandering all over. Only time would tell, I secretly wished them luck, hoping for the best.
There was an awkward silence when Gage stared at me with no response to what I had said. I swallowed and looked away out to the shoreline, far off in the distance.
“Have you ever been in love, Tandy?” His question came right out of left field, caught me totally off guard and I must have looked like a frightened deer in headlights.
“No…well, I thought I was once…but as it turned out, he was only in love with the idea of getting into my pants. So when he discovered it wasn’t going to happen, poof! He was gone.”
“What an asshole.”
“Oh yeah, he was a real Prince Charming.” I thought back for a moment.
Richard Fairmount had treated me like gold, held doors, pulled out my chair for me, always asked what I wanted to do first, silly little things that fooled me into thinking he gave a shit. Then when he pinned me down in the front seat of his car and wrestled trying to slip his hand into the waist of my pants, I sharply told him it wasn’t going to happen, he got so angry. He called me a cock tease and left me on the side of the road, alone without a dime to get home. The walk was long and by the time I got home and had spent every tear, I was raging mad and vowed never to talk to him again. The thing was he never tried.
“No one else? A beautiful woman like you, surely they’re lined up at your door?”
“No one else and no lines. I’ve had a few dates but nothing real, certainly nothing serious.” Why was I telling this man, practically a stranger, about my love life or lack thereof? Was I crazy? Gage was easy to talk to though, his questions were direct and he didn’t seem to have an agenda.
“You’re lying, tell the truth,” he scolded with a knitted brow, walking over to the rail and leaning his butt against it with his arms crossed over his chest and a stance of demand.
“You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth,” I joked.
“Seriously.”
“Between the fact that my job takes up most of my day and the fact that my father is an overly protective bastard, not too many men stick around for long. I don’t get many opportunities to see anyone. Besides, big girls only get asked out for one reason.”
I looked at Gage with a you-know look and he frowned, “That’s not true.”
“Yes true, so true. I get asked out, wined, dined and groped, then dumped when I say no. Do you seriously not believe me?” Did he think that for a minute I would make up something like that? And why the hell was I telling him any of this anyway?
“You’re a guy? Tell me how many women you’ve been with that wouldn’t put out and you didn’t dump? Think about it and be honest, Gage.”
Shaking his head he said, “I’m not proud of it but I’ve been an asshole, at one time or another we’re all assholes. But that’s sex, not love.” His eyes dropped to the floor obviously in thought.
“And a guy knows the difference?” I asked, our eyes meeting when he looked up.
“This guy does.” There was a sincerity behind his words, he meant what he said he had no doubts in his mind.
“Have you ever been in love?” I pressed, knowing that he had to have loved his fair share of woman, look at him; he was everything a woman would want. He had hot sexy good looks and a heart of gold, well as far as I knew. But what the hell did I know?
“Yeah sure, I was in love a long time ago…with the biggest bitch on the face of the planet.” His stance changed and he whirled around to look out at the shore, disconnecting from me.
“Whoa, that was harsh. Did you get burned or what?”
I knew that feeling oh too well, I had my share of that burned feeling, charcoal burned, ashes in the wind kinda burned and my heart went out to my friend.
“I caught the whore fucking my best friend,” he spit with venom and I could only turn to face him, I didn’t want to say the usual I’m-sorry. “The night I asked her to marry me.”
Holy shit, this was some confession I was hearing, it had my pitiful love life beat all to hell. I was so glad we didn’t take bets on who on this deck was the biggest loser, I’d be broke. Not that I really thought he was a loser, just his situation seemed a lot more dramatic than me taking a long lonely walk home after being dumped for not opening my legs or giving it away to every Tom, Dick and Harry that I dated.
“Wow.” Was all I could manage to say, it sounded so childish but, it was all I could force out.
Gage started to guffaw and his shoulders shook as he practically roared with laughter, wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. It felt so good. I could smell the clean scent of soap on his skin and his hair smelled like coconut when it swirled over my face in the wind. I could have stayed like that all night, gladly.
“
You’re adorable.” He brushed my hair behind my ear and looked into my face, so close, studying me.
“I’ll tell you something…but you have to keep it a secret okay?” he whispered into my ear, I couldn’t see his face. I could feel his dimpled smile when his cheek touched mine.
“Okay,” I said a little breathy, hoping he didn’t notice.
“If I was an asshole…I would never have let you go. I would have stuck around and tried a little harder.”
I was melting into a puddle. He was so polished, controlled and had me hooked, momentarily that was. Nonetheless I feared that he was like all the rest, a pickup line here and there, some sweet talk and seduction and he’d be trying to slip his hand into my panties before the evenings end, like all the rest. This bastard had already treated me to a shot of rejection and I wasn’t going to let him prick me with that needle twice.
“Trying a little harder to get into my panties?” I asked, with a bitter tongue. I think he was shocked, the expression on his face looked like it when he abruptly pulled back. Maybe he expected me to spread my legs wide for him and moan take-me-stud?
“That’s not what I said, Tandy, and definitely not what I meant.” He was angry.
“I know what it sounded like.” I pushed away only to be pulled back against him, chest to chest, hips to hips.
“No matter what it sounded like…I meant if you were mine, I’d do whatever it took to keep you mine.”
Oh, he was good. He knew what to say, knew what a girl wanted to hear. I just so didn’t want him to be like all the rest of the horn dawgs. Gage certainly hadn’t acted like a complete jerk, yet. I figured now was the time to test the waters, throw in the bait and see if the shark took it and swam or hung around for more. Was he just playing the part of the hero or was a Don Juan under that beautiful mask of his?
“Here’s a scenario for you. I want the truth, answer me honestly, okay?”
“Okay,” Gage said, not too sure what he had just gotten himself into.
“You ask a girl out, share a few touchy, feely moments. You want to take it to the next level, what do you do when she says no and says she’s a virgin? Try harder to get into her pants? Is the idea of being the one to bag her an over powering aphrodisiac? What do you do when she says no then?”
Gage tilted his head to the side and narrowed his pretty blue eyes, “I don’t understand, Tandy. Do you really want me to answer that? Are you playing a game with me? Or is this a subtle way of telling me you’re a virgin?”
Me and my big mouth, my drank far too much big mouth. That was not the question I wanted to ask but my words were out now, no take backs for me. Why did I do that? Why would I play him like that? He looked wounded, like I had been really nasty to him, and I guess I had. Why did I feel the need to let him know about my virginity? Maybe in the vast recesses of my mind, I wanted him to be the one, the one to take my virginity and run with it, only I didn’t want him to run.
My mind was getting so carried away and my mouth was a step ahead of my heedless, intoxicated brain. I was being an ass and this poor guy my target for abuse. I felt sick.
“I’m sorry. I don’t feel good Gage, I need to go.” I started to turn away toward the elevators but he swung me around by my arm and I practically collapsed into him.
“I can’t talk about this…I need to go, please Gage?” I pleaded, I felt terrible, like such a bitch, I could feel the blood draining from my face.
“You really don’t feel good? Come on I’ll get you to your room.” Gage wrapped my arm over his and we maneuvered our way back through the many halls to my room.
Once inside my suite, he walked me to the washroom and I assured him I could handle getting myself showered and changed into pj’s. I felt like a fool, hoping that he would be gone when I came out and wouldn’t ask me anymore personal questions.
Gage was sitting on the sofa in the living area when I finally materialized and patted the seat beside him with a smile. When I sat, I had the sudden desire to come clean, to explain my entire life to him, the reason I was a twenty two year old virgin. As I opened my mouth to speak Gage’s index finger pushed against my lips and stopped me.
“You don’t need to say anything, your private life is your own and none of my business. I think the conversation got out of control, a bit too personal. Are we good now?” he took his finger away and handed me a cup of tea, I added milk from a crystal jug and stirred it with a spoon. Gage took the spoon and stirred his tea and sat back.
“We’re good,” I said, sitting back to join him. I was so relieved that Gage wasn’t going to push me or question me. “I’m so sorry. I’m going to blame my crass actions on the alcohol.”
“Shhh…” He shook his head to silence me.
“Want to watch a movie?” Gage asked, taking the controller from a bowl on the table and turning on the TV. “What do you think?”
“I think I shouldn’t take up all your time. You should go have some fun, find a pretty lady to spend the evening with, go dancing or something,” I suggested, quite prepared for him to take his leave of me, and curl up with a book or go to bed early.
“I have a pretty lady to spend the evening with right here” he said and squeezed my hand in his but didn’t release it and I didn’t pull away, and after a minute or so he weaved his fingers with mine making it absolute. He wasn’t going anywhere.
“You’re sweet, are you sure?”
“I’m sure, now what do you want to watch?” Gage asked, scrolling through a list on the LED screen.
A chirping sound came from his pocket and he excused himself to the balcony. I continued to scroll the TV’s listings in his absence. I could hear his voice, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. Gage was only gone for a minute at most when he returned, he looked annoyed and held his phone up into my view.
“I have to go do something right away…for work,” he said as he walked to the door and I started to get up and see him out.
“I’ll only be a few minutes okay, stay where you are…I’ll be back.”
He opened the door and slipped half way turning back in to face me. “If you want me to come back that is?” he asked with his dimpled smile.
“Come back.”
***
I slipped into my room after making sure that Tandy had stayed put. I opened the laptop and checked for emails. Apparently Mr. M had been trying to get me all day. The call from one of Mr. M’s men alerted me to check in before the old man had a heart attack.
Yep there it was, the inevitable email, the one that chewed my ass off. The old man wanted to know what she did today and wanted to know now. I recalled Tandy’s reference to her father, as being an overly protective bastard and I smiled to myself at her accuracy.
Rotten fucker must have made her life a living hell, I thought. If he was as much of a prick with her as he was with his staff, no wonder she was such an angry virgin.
Thankful that Mr. M helped me and grateful to have a job and a roof over my head, I was aware that Mr. M could be a real martinet, exceedingly demanding and contemptuous. That he had to have everything his own way and got it, he had power and money and a well-appointed security detail to solve minor or major issues should they arise. Anyone regardless of their position that got in his way, he shattered them. No fear, no apprehension and no regrets.
Still a virgin.
I’ll admit I was having trouble getting my tongue around that one, a twenty two year old virgin in this day and age? That was a phenomenon. The feeling of guilt that suddenly hit, when a thrill ran through me at the thought of being Tandy’s first, made me shake my head and brought me back to reality.
Mr. Manning, here’s your update. Tandy sat at the pool, had a few drinks, sunbathed and went for dinner, then back to her room. G.
A few moments later came a reply.
She’s spending all her time alone? That’s good. Have you seen anyone approach her?
What was I supposed to say, no one but me? That I had approached her
and damned near rubbed up against his daughter the virgin? Hell no! I didn’t have a death wish.
I haven’t noticed sir. She spends most of her time alone from what I see, I would assume men have looked, she is pretty after all. I couldn’t say. G.
Tandy is pretty in her own way. Thankfully she’s really not the type to draw a crowd.
Appalled by the comment I just read, I was seeing red. Pretty in her own way, doesn’t draw a crowd? What was this prick saying about his daughter, his own flesh and blood? She was gorgeous, sexy and hotter than hell, what kind of a blind bastard couldn’t see that? This man was unreal and I was going to give him a piece of his mind, just as the laptop sounded the arrival of an email in the inbox.
Carter you are doing a fine job. Do me a favor and check on her a little more often. Anyone comes within a yard, take care of him. I don’t want her getting involved with anyone. There will be a bonus in it for you.
Seriously! I was shocked that the old man would ask me to do that. A bonus? Sick fuck, I thought, fine I’ll take the bonus; actually I’ll be more than happy to keep potential dates away.
Sure sir, whatever you think. I’ll email you tomorrow. G.
Closing the laptop I set it aside changed into sweatpants, socks and a t-shirt, grabbed a bottle of wine from the bar fridge and headed back to Tandy’s room. We shared the wine, watched a not so great horror movie and I took great pleasure in wrapping her in my arms during the scary parts. We shared a bag of pretzels and a blanket and when the night ended, I kissed the back of her hand and thanked her for a wonderful evening. She blushed, sexy as fuck and I told her I would call her in the morning.
Day 50
The ship remained slightly off shore of the coast, the view was spectacular. It was nice to be relaxing on the waves and I smiled when I remembered how sweet Gage had been to me last night, after my version of super bitch.
I still couldn’t believe that I revealed my virgin dilemma to Gage, now he knew one of my deepest, darkest secrets. I figured that he was either going to treat me with kid gloves or start making moves, the latter in my opinion seeming much more desirable.
If Not For You Page 6