“Good, very good,” I assured him with a stroke of my hand across his cheek. “If not for you, I’d still be living my drab, dreary life. I’d simply exist each day and nothing more. I couldn’t see a tomorrow, certainly not a day after or a day after that. Now I actually look forward to what might come, because of you.”
Gage’s jaw tightened as did his hold around my waist. “Because of you, sweetheart, I have a reason to get up each day. We have today and tomorrow and every other day after that to look forward to. I’m not leaving your side for a minute; you’re my future, only you.”
“For now.”
“Always.”
Shaking his head, I watched as he struggled with his thoughts. “What’s wrong, Gage? What aren’t you telling me?
“Let’s get outta here,” he said, dragging me along. “I need to tell you something, important.”
Fuck, what now?
***
Time flashed. It bordered on bizarre the way I was suddenly in an entirely different scene and I couldn’t remember getting there. Was this due to the tumor, or was it just my way of dealing when an inevitable talk was approaching?
We were seated at a table for two at a little bistro just off the beaten path, when a throat cleared asking something in French. Or at least it sounded like a question.
“Vous préférez blanc ou rouge vin?” The tall skinny server leaned forward, waiting for a reply.
“I’m sorry?”
“Red or white wine, sweetheart,” Gage translated.
“Uh, rouge thank you.”
The waiter tipped his head and scurried off.
“Tandy are you okay? You haven’t said a word since we left the museum. Not feeling ill are you?” Gage asked, taking my hand in his, stroking his thumb over my knuckles.
“My nerves aren’t faring well. What do you need to tell me? Can we just get this over with?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stress you out, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”
My heart skipped a beat, bile rose from my stomach and I wanted to throw up. “You don’t do sorry, what’s going on?”
“I quit my job,” Gage shrugged, with a grin.
“You quit, why, when?”
“Just before we left the ship.”
“That was the call?” I asked, remembering Gage’s face when he joined us, saying he’d tell me later but I’d forgotten.
“That was the call. There’s a lot more to it though.”
“More,” I said, there was always more and if I knew my father, he was pissed.
Our wine arrived along with croissants and a plate of cheeses and fruit. Evidently I missed Gage ordering us a snack in my fog.
Tossing back the contents of his glass and refilling it from the bottle the server left on our table he continued, “Your father knows all about us…in great detail.”
Wide eyed, I blinked and closed my gaping mouth, reached for my glass and guzzled the entire thing. “Fill it up,” I ordered, watching as the liquid neared the rim.
“I can’t believe you told him, what would possess you?” I began, but Gage cut me off.
“No, no baby. I didn’t tell him anything, swear to God!” He crossed his hand over his chest.
“Then how?”
“He’s had a man on us for while…I think that was your stalker, all those times you thought you were being watched? You were. We were.”
“Holy fuck!” I burst out, a bit louder than planned, drawing some attention from fellow patrons and nodding my apologies.
“That’s not all.”
“It never is,” I said, closing my eyes and placing my hands over my face. I peeked up through my fingers to see Gage’s scrunched brow and an I’m-sorry-as-fuck look on his face.
“Whaaat?”
“He has pictures.”
“Pictures, what do you mean pictures?” There was a nauseating feeling welling up in the bottom of my gut, the one that said this ain’t gonna be pretty!
“Well.” His hesitation was like a silent scream in the dark, blood curdling and frightening as fuck. “Remember the night outside the sport center, when we…?”
I pulled in a deep quivering breath and stared at Gage. Then burst into a full belly laugh. His brow furrowed, the look on his face was priceless. Surely he pegged me as going off my rocker. Tears streaked down my cheeks and he handed me a paper napkin, all the while thinking I had totally lost my mind.
Not a word passed his bewildered lips, not a sound, probably not even a breath. Hell, if the roles were reversed, I’d be stunned too.
“I’m not crazy, Gage,” I assured him. “I can just envision his face the minute he saw those pictures. His daughter the virgin that he’s managed to control all her life, all hot and sweaty getting fucked by his best friend’s ex-con son. That’s priceless!”
Gage’s jaw jutted forward. “Well, I won’t say that didn’t sting.”
My hand slapped over my mouth. “I am so, so sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out like that. I don’t judge you, you know that. I’d never in a million years.”
Holding his hands up, he gave me a reassuring smile. “I know, baby. Forget it. It’s the truth, just haven’t heard it before.”
Chuckling and bobbing his head. “It is amusing, I would have liked to be a fly on the wall.”
It was good to hear him laugh about it, relieved that he wasn’t going to hold what I had stupidly said against me. “Me too.”
“I wonder?”
“Yeah.”
“If he’d give me copies?” he pondered, boldly sending us into stitches. We laughed until we couldn’t anymore.
“What did he say when you quit?”
“Actually he fired me before I had a chance to officially quit. Ho told me to get on the next flight home and he would have one of his men take care of you. I guess I kinda freaked and told him no one was going to get past me to get to you and he could go fuck himself. He didn’t take that well.”
“You think?” I said sarcastically.
“I told him I love you and that you loved me. That we were committed to each other and nothing he did would change that. Now he’s holding my father’s inheritance over my head, says he’ll see to it that I never see a dime of it.”
“He can’t do that, I’ll talk to one of the lawyers I know.”
“I don’t need it, never did. I’ll get a job, it’ll be fine.”
“When we get home, we’ll get a place. I have money and Henry will help us. That is if you want.”
“I want, yes I want.” Gage moved his chair so he was seated tightly to my side. “Who’s Henry?”
“Henry’s my best friend and body guard, my peanut butter chocolate chunk,” I said, grinning knowing how silly that sounded. “Long story, I’ll explain later.”
I’d call Henry as soon as we got back to the hotel, fill him in on my father’s actions. I’d have him find us a place and move my and Gage’s things before we got back. A fresh start to what I hoped would be a new long life with Gage.
“Trust me,” I said.
“With all my heart.” He kissed the palm of my hand. “Now eat, we have that appointment to get too soon.”
***
John stood in the doorway of what resembled a New York Brownstone building, when our taxi pulled alongside the curb.
“Where are we and what’s John doing here?” I asked, excitement and confusion stirring in my belly.
“John helped me make a few arrangements.”
I smiled awkwardly, trying really hard to contain my frustration. The large black double door on the building gave nothing away. There were no numbers, no name plaque, not that that would have mattered seeing as we were in France and they would have been written in French anyway.
“What is this place?” Neither John nor Gage answered, raising my anxiety to a new level.
“Someone say something or I’m not moving another fucking inch!” I promised the pair, in no uncertain terms, with my feet planted firmly in plac
e and my arms crossed over my chest.
“Relax, sweetheart. There’s someone I want you to see.” Gage opened the door, a tiny bell chimed and relaxing background music and the scent of roses wafted through the air.
A beautiful blonde dressed in a black skirt and fitted suit jacket with a soft blue satin blouse and killer stilettos came from a door off to the side and took my hand in both hers.
“Miss Manning, it’s wonderful to meet you, my name is Beth. Mr. Carter and Mr. Martin believe I can be of service to you. Please step this way.”
I eyed Gage suspiciously with a smile and for some strange reason allowed this woman to direct me through the door she came from, closing it behind us.
“Have a seat.” Beth told me pointing her hand to a black leather sofa.
My gazed circled the room, spa like, but not so, clinical, but not so. Confusion had to be written all over my face.
“I don’t want to be rude but if you don’t tell me what the hell’s going on in the next two seconds, I think I’m going to start tearing the place apart.”
“I am going to help you deal with your fears.”
“Okaaay!” I gave a nervous laugh.
“Mr. Carter shared with me that you have a fear of death. That it consumes you, keeps you awake, disturbs your sleep and I can help you deal with that through hypnosis.”
“You think I’m going to let you hypnotize me? Well, I hope you can wave your magic wand and help Mr. Carter because I’m going to kill him when I get my hands on him,” I threatened standing quickly, and heading for the exit.
“Please Miss. Manning. He only wants the best for you. He worries and believes it may be making your situation worse.”
Standing still I pivoted around. “What do you know about my situation?”
“I know you have a brain tumor and you will be having surgery when you get back to America. I know nothing else.”
Fuck. Gage told her and if he told her, he told John too. I was mortified, my head was spinning and that overwhelming need to bolt grasped onto my chest and held tight with a steely grip.
“Washroom, I’m going to be sick,” I said, covering my mouth with my hand, pretending the inevitable was about to happen.
Beth jumped to her feet, ran over to a door on the other side of the room and swung it open. “Second door on your right.”
I ran out and down the hall, found the room and locked myself in. What the fuck was I going to do? I needed out. No whack job was going to hypnotize me, no way, no how! I also needed to get away from Gage and John. He broke my trust; he had no right telling anyone, especially John. How many others had he told?
My father?
Thank heavens I had my purse, my credit cards, passport and boarding pass. At least I would be able to get back to the ship. With my ear to the door I listened for any signs of movement, there were none. Slowly opening the door I peered down the hall to a windowed door at the rear. Tip-toeing out the door and closing it quietly behind me, I darted off down a dingy alley, until I came to a busy street.
Considering my next move, I gazed from right to left unable to get my bearings, the girl with the lack of direction trying to maneuver through the busy streets of Paris, France. Who the fuck was I kidding, I was lost.
Dashing along, my heart racing, I looked up and gasped. The Eiffel Tower, I knew our hotel was not too far from that point, it was a tourist area. For sure I’d run into an American who could help me.
Finally I stood at the base looking up, just as the lights came to life and the tower lit up like a Christmas tree. My head started to ache. I grit my teeth determined that it would not take me over, not this time. Not when I was so close. Nothing, not even my brain tumor was going to stop me now.
Stepping forward toward the elevator, a large form stepped into my path.
“Excuse me,” I said moving to the side, only to find him in my way again.
“Excuse me!” I was adamant I was getting around this brick shithouse.
“Miss. Manning, you’ll be coming with me,” this hulk of a man ordered, “your father sent me.”
Sheer determination took me over, when I should have been scared shitless. I dared him to take a step closer, this schmuck wasn’t taking me anywhere.
“Well my father can go screw himself and you can tell him just that.” I tried pushing past only to find his enormous hand wrapped around my arm.
“Take your fucking hand off me.” This colossal being had the audacity to laugh, he had absolutely no idea with whom he was fucking.
“Move it or lose it, asshole,” I warned, quietly and shook my head when he chose to laugh some more.
I smiled as my hand clasped onto his junk and squeezed with the power supplied by pure adrenaline. The heel of my shoe stomped onto the top of his foot until I heard it crack from the force. My other hand pinched into the nerves at the collar of his neck and the titanic of a man crumpled to the ground.
Once he was down I dipped into my pocket, found the blue plastic card and darted to the doors of the elevator marked with the same symbol that appeared on the front. I didn’t stop until I reached the top and stepped off the elevator. The cold wind took my breath away, but I didn’t care because I was here. I was at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Alone.
***
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
“Miss Manning went to the powder room, she said she was going to be sick, she was pretty upset. When she didn’t return I went to check on her and she was gone.”
“Is there a back way?” I asked. “Because she sure as hell didn’t walk past us,”
Raking my fingers through my hair in frustration, I listened as John said, “I knew this was a bad idea, we should have known. We set her up and she naturally made a dash for it. It was like an ambush, she had no warning, of course she’d run.”
“Yes we have a back door, its right this way.” Beth escorted us along a hall and stood back when I opened the door and stepped out looking from left to right.
John stood at the taxi’s door and patted me on the shoulder sympathetically. I was feeling guilty. In fact we both were feeling guilty as hell for pulling a major boner and both worried that any harm would come to Tandy. “You go to the hotel, stay there and call me if she shows up.” I instructed.
“What are you going to do? You can’t wander all over Paris, you should come back to the hotel. Call the police.”
“Tandy’s an adult. She’d have to be missing for forty eight hours. Besides, I have an idea where she is or at least I’m hoping.”
John climbed into the taxi, it pulled from the curb as another took its place. I directed my gaze to the black doors I had just exited with pangs from my conscience weighing heavy in my chest. I hoped to God I was right and that she would be where I thought.
“La tour Eiffel, aussi vite que vous pouvez.” I directed, offering the driver an extra fifty if he could get me there within ten minutes.
“Oui Monsieur.” The driver was more than happy to accommodate and sped off into the night.
My cell vibrated from my interior pocket. I took it out and looked at the screen, a French area code appeared, sadly I knew it wasn’t Tandy.
“Carter here.”
“No sign of her. Sorry. I asked at the desk, her pass key hasn’t been used since this morning.” John reported anxiously.
“Okay, thanks. Call me if she shows up.”
“Will do…Hey...She’s going to be okay.”
***
The moon in the distance shone with a yellow hue, partially hidden behind a lone cloud, yet not a star appeared in the sky. A million lights across Paris sparkled, like a mass of those lost stars had fallen and now blanketed the ground. The streets were busy with the constant barrage of cars. The din of the traffic and a hurried city below were only masked by the wind howling past my ears.
The observation area was desolate; smart folk had gotten in from the cold. Only a few other brave souls stood huddled together, smooching
and giggling. They had what I should have had, tonight in this place at this time, with the man I loved.
Not concerned with how cold it had gotten I shivered and my teeth chattered while tears streamed down my face. I happily gave in to the emotions that were tormenting me. Feeling betrayed, helpless and alone, with a vicious pounding in my head, I refused to surrender to the pain. Instead I took in the view through a veil of impeding tears.
From where I stood the sight beneath looked like a landing strip, lit up to show the way. What I’d give for someone to point me in the right direction, tell me everything was going to be alright and hold me. To have two strong arms swathed around me, whispering promises of an endless love and terms of endearment against my cheek only for tonight, was all I wanted.
Was it all too much to ask? Was I being unreasonable?
Closing my eyes I relived the moment I ran along the back alley, anger pounding in my chest, the constricted feeling when Beth revealed that she knew my secret. But it really wasn’t a secret was it? Not once did I tell Gage not to say anything. Perhaps I did over react, he was only trying to help after all. It was so him to want to fix me, make me whole again.
A lump formed in my throat making it impossible to swallow back my regrets of the day. Regrets I could never take back. What had I done? My stupid dimwitted actions, this unyielding need to flee the minute things got at all complicated, was ludicrous. I mean, at twenty two years old I was still acting like a child, like that spoiled little kitten my father made me out to be. Maybe all this time he was right. Or maybe I was just plain scared. What the fuck had I done?
Opening my purse, I rummaged through the mess of crap that littered its interior. In search of the cell I tossed inside when I ran off. The more I rummaged, the more frustrated I became with myself and tears got in the way only making it more difficult to find.
I hiccupped almost hysterically wanting to dump the contents out onto the steel floor, when a hand holding out a tissue came into view. I spun on my heels to find Gage with a woe begotten look on his beautiful face.
“I’m sorry.” I choked out between sobs.
If Not For You Page 35