Come to Me Recklessly

by A. L. Jackson

  I sighed, feeling like the direction of this conversation was not one we should take when she’d drunk half her weight in alcohol. “Of course I like you,” I whispered.

  “I thought you hated me.” Sadness poured from her strained statement, and I could barely hear her sweet voice above the music, but it was like I could feel the words emanating from her. They sank right into my bones.

  “Never.” It came out ragged. Hoarse. And my heart hurt a little more as I stood there swaying her in my arms. I hated that I’d ever given her that impression, that I’d been so callous and resentful that I chose to cut her down rather than facing the way she made me feel.

  Totally off tempo, we swayed, the techno beat pounding a throb of energy through the pulsing crowd while we rocked slowly in our own little world, but I no longer knew how to let her go.

  Who knew for how long we danced like that, because the music shifted and slowed, then sped again, and I finally realized Aly, Jared, and Megan had disappeared. They all came walking back over, my friend Cash in tow. I’d texted him earlier about showing up.

  When she saw me and Samantha, Aly smiled unrestrainedly, her eyes warm and fuzzy but clearly filled with tenderness.

  Reluctantly, I released Samantha, who seemed about as unhappy about letting go as I felt.

  Aly’s expression quickly shifted, and she stumbled a little on her drunken feet. She hooked her thumb over her shoulder. “Look who we found wandering around the bar. And he insisted on buying us girls another round of shots! Guess who’s my new best friend.”

  “Hey.” Megan pouted. “You’re going to sell me out for a drink?”

  “Oh, don’t worry yourself, Meg,” Jared cut in. “I’m pretty sure Aly here is going to be cursing Cash’s name come tomorrow morning.” Jared had a lemon-drop shooter in each hand. He waved one in Aly’s face. “Are you sure you want another one of these?”

  She took it with a grin. “Heck yes, I want another one of those. This is my one night out!”

  Oh yeah, my sister was going to be hurting tomorrow. I didn’t think she’d had more than a drink or two since Ella’d been born, and tonight she was tossing them back like water.

  “All right.” Jared laughed. A little affectionate smirk played at one side of his mouth. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  He passed the other to Samantha, and Cash started to hand one to Megan, but then he jerked it back and demanded a kiss for it. I laughed. Dude was such an asshole.

  Megan slugged him in the arm and ripped the drink from his hand. “This girl can’t be bought, buddy, so you’d better watch yourself before you get a whole lot more than that little punch.”

  “That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”

  She punched him again.

  Cash was always laying it on thick. The guy was larger than life, with both a giant body and a giant mouth. He’d had a pretty serious girlfriend about a year ago, but he’d gone and messed that up real quick. No surprise there. But we all knew he was just razzing Megan. They’d known each other for as long as I’d known Cash, and he messed with her just about as relentlessly as I did.

  The girls all held up the tiny glasses rimmed in sugar. “To the best of friends,” Aly said, glancing around at the two of them.

  They both returned, “To the best of friends.”

  Glasses clanked and they tipped them back.

  Samantha’s face screwed up in the most adorable way, and she clamped her hand over her mouth while she shook her head. “I think you two are trying to kill me!”

  Megan laughed. “If we’re going down, then you’re going down, too. That’s what friends are for, right?”

  Samantha’s face got all rosy, and she chewed at one corner of that bottom lip, murmured, “There’s no one else I’d rather go down with,” like having these friendships meant the world to her.

  My heart squeezed, and I just stood there like watching all of this didn’t affect me at all. And again I was wondering about her life, what it was like once she walked away and returned to Ben.

  Aly stumbled and Jared caught her around the waist. “Watch yourself, baby,” he cautioned her with a kiss to her temple.

  She held her head. “Whoa… that one hit me hard.”

  Samantha giggled, making it pretty clear it’d hit her, too.

  “I wanna dance,” Megan demanded, jumping around, trying to yank Aly back onto the dance floor. But Aly was fading fast. The girl could barely stand.

  “Pretty sure she’s going to fall flat on her face if you drag her back out there,” Jared said, canting his head to take in his wife. “What do you say we head home? Otherwise I’m going to be carrying you out over my shoulder.”

  She nodded, and he pressed his mouth to her forehead. “Okay, let’s get you out of here.” Jared wound his arm around her waist, attention darting between Megan and Samantha. “You two ready to go?”

  “Nooo! It’s still early,” Megan insisted.

  “Way early.” Cash threaded his fingers through Megan’s. “I’m game to hang out with you for a while longer. I’ll give you a lift home later. Good with you?”

  “Yeah,” she agreed without thought. “Totally not ready to leave yet. You want to stay, Samantha?”

  Samantha glanced up at me, and the sweet expression she gave me twisted me somewhere deep. She looked back at Megan. “Thanks, but I think I’d better call it a night, too.”

  “Suit yourself.” Megan dropped kisses to everyone’s cheeks, then gave a little salute as she backed onto the dance floor with Cash. They were quickly swallowed by the crowd.

  Jared began working his way through the throng of bodies, leading Aly out. I turned back to Samantha, who stood there looking a little lost.

  What the hell, I said to myself with an inward shrug. Somehow the girl who once was my entire life had ended up becoming my responsibility tonight, so I wrapped her hand in mine. Every nerve in my body released a contented sigh, this thrumming satisfaction beating a path through my system. She snuggled in close, like she was seeking protection, like she wanted me to touch her and hold her and keep her safe.

  Fuck.

  What was I doing, setting myself up to get crushed again?

  But I couldn’t stop.

  I squeezed her hand, slipping her a reassuring glance before I picked up a trail behind Jared and Aly.

  We stepped out into the night. A gentle breeze blew through the overflowing parking lot, dull streetlamps casting a hazy glow from above.

  Up ahead, Aly leaned heavily on Jared as he helped her to his truck, and Samantha stuck close to my side as we followed.

  Jared clicked the locks, opened the passenger door. “Come on, love, let’s get you home and into bed.”

  “You can take me to bed but you’re coming with me,” Aly contended, but it was all garbled, and she gave him a flirty, coy grin that was all kinds of sloppy.

  Jared chuckled and gathered her hands in his, kissed her knuckles. “I seriously doubt that, baby, because I’d put good money down that your sweet little ass will be passed out by the time we get home, and I’m not into that.”

  She pouted, and Jared boosted her into the truck. She slumped into the seat, her legs dangling out.

  I laughed. “Looks like it’s sleepy time, Aly Cat,” I teased.

  She went for a glare, but it was weak and she could barely focus in on me. Jared hoisted her legs inside.

  All of a sudden, Aly choked.

  Jared’s eyes went wide. “Oh shit, baby, are you gonna puke?”

  Vigorously she shook her head, and tears started streaming down her face as she clutched her stomach. “I miss Ella.”

  I suppressed my laughter when Jared gave me a helpless look. He brushed back the hair matted to her forehead. “Baby, she’s spending the night at your mom and dad’s. Remember? We’ll go over and pick her up first thing tomorrow morning.” Under his breath, he tacked on, “When I can haul your hungover ass out of bed, that is.”

  Aly wailed, “But I need
her now.”

  I chuckled. “See… this is why girls shouldn’t drink, Aly Cat. They get all emotional and weepy, and then some sorry sucker like Jared here has to take care of her. There should be a law against this atrocity.”

  Samantha smacked at my upper arm. “Shh,” she scolded, “she misses her baby. You don’t know how upset she was to leave her for the first time. And if there aren’t drunk girls, who in the heck are all those jerks inside supposed to hit on?”

  I busted up. “All right, you’ve got me there.”

  “Please,” Aly begged.

  Jared rubbed a frustrated hand over his face, though his voice remained patient and soft. “Do you need me to take you over there?”

  And that’s why he’d always be my brother, thicker than blood, good enough for my sister. He’d do anything for her, big or small. Minimally inconvenient or life changing. Didn’t matter what it was, as long as he was doing it for her.

  She nodded through big, fat tears.

  “Shit,” he grumbled, then his voice became soothing again. “What do you say we just have a sleepover… We’ll snuggle up in your little twin bed back in your old room? That way you’ll be right there when Ella wakes up in the morning and we won’t have to wake up the whole house and drag Ella out in the middle of the night. Sound good?” He smiled softly, cupping her cheek. “Plus your mom would have my ass if I stole Ella away on her first sleepover.”

  “You’d stay there?” she asked hopefully, her eyes all awash with the awe she felt for her man.

  A pang of envy hit me, that innate need to have someone look at me like that. I squeezed Samantha’s hand a little tighter. My breath caught in my throat when she squeezed back.

  Jared kissed Aly’s forehead. “Of course.”

  He looked over at Samantha. “You ready, Sam? I’ll drop you by your house before I head across town.”

  That little hand was still burning in mine, and I wasn’t about to let go. “I’ll give her a ride.” The offer swung from my mouth as fast as if I were batting for a home run.

  Jared frowned. A hint of suspicion. A trace of a warning. A whole lot of Yeah, I bet you will.

  I lifted my shoulders in indifference, though I was still holding on for dear life, and Jared’s deliberation dipped to our hands.

  “I mean, if Samantha’s good with it,” I tacked on, praying to get a couple more minutes with her.

  She hesitated, big blue eyes darting to me, then to her feet, and on to Jared, before she nodded forcefully. “That’s probably a good idea… I mean, you should hurry and get Aly to Ella,” she added quickly, like she was searching for a valid reason for me to be giving her a ride home.

  Sounded reasonable enough to me.

  I shrugged at Jared. “See? Not a problem.”

  He huffed knowingly, then shook his head like it wasn’t his business. “All right, then.”

  Shutting Aly in, he took a step toward me. “Take it easy, man.” His eyes were narrowed when he said it, and he clapped me on the back. He went in for a quick hug with Samantha. “It was great hanging out with you, Sam. I’m sure we’ll see you soon.”

  “Definitely,” she promised. “Call me if you need any help tomorrow.”

  “Sure thing.” With a short wave, Jared climbed in his truck, started it up, and drove away.

  We just stood there watching them go, our fingers all twined, Samantha’s breaths palpable as she released them out into the heavy air.

  I looked down at her in the same second she looked up at me. Emotion knotted my throat with regret and need.

  God, why did she have to be so beautiful?

  Softly, I smiled at her, then inclined my head into the distance. “I parked over in the back lot.”

  Silence wove around us like a blanket, and I basked in the comfort that came with saying nothing, just being in the same space with the sound of footsteps and panted breaths and beating hearts.

  Samantha trembled when I helped her climb into the front passenger seat. Both my hands slipped to her waist to hoist her up.

  She gave me the softest, questioning smile when I took the liberty of reaching across her and buckling her in, though she didn’t make a move to stop me. The snap of the seat belt locking into place echoed in the quiet cab, and I froze when I pulled back and my gaze tangled with hers, her nose close to brushing mine.

  “There,” I whispered through the dense air, all that sweet filling up my senses, intoxicating. A fresh wave of lust clenched every muscle in my body.

  “There,” she agreed on a breath from that mouth I was dying to feel, to taste if it was still as sweet, that candied kiss that would bring me to my knees. Her eyes filled with something I hadn’t seen in so many years, the trust she used to watch me with. Like she didn’t get how hung up I was on her.

  But I was.

  Hung up.

  Stuck.

  I’d never had the strength or desire to move on. I was becoming pretty damned sure she was where I was supposed to be.

  Tentatively, I reached out, wondering what in the hell I hoped to achieve when I let my fingertips trace along the line of her jaw. Because she’d made it clear we weren’t going in that direction, but the signs she was sending me tonight had me itching to head there, and fast.

  Shivers rolled through her, and her eyes dropped closed. Nervously, she swept her tongue across her plump bottom lip.

  I bit back a moan, fighting the overwhelming urge to push past those boundaries again, to kiss that mouth like it’d never been kissed before, to mark and claim and declare what was mine.

  But she was drunk and that would make me a bigger asshole than I’d already proven myself to be.

  And I’d promised her a friendship. Promised myself I owed her the effort to earn back her trust. Promised my jaded heart I’d push back and make it through if she really didn’t want me to win her back.

  It took about all I had to pull away.

  In slow surprise, her blue eyes fluttered open, a confused disappointment.

  Groaning, I slammed her door shut and ran around to the driver’s side.

  I turned the key in the ignition, and the engine rumbled to life. The headlights splayed out ahead of us, like they were peering into the darkness of the vacant, empty lot next door. It reflected back some kind of eeriness, this strange sensation that we were waiting at the cusp, preparing to delve into the unknown.

  I rushed a hand over my face and up through my hair, rubbing at my neck when I chanced looking over at her. This time she was smiling, like she’d broken through the wisps of smoldering smoke, no longer trapped in that haze of lust that had held us under.

  “Thank you so much for the ride.”

  I threw the truck in gear and pulled out, laughing under my breath. “It’s nothing, Samantha.”

  “Sure it is.” She twisted a little in her seat to focus on me. “You hung out with us all night. Watched over us, made sure no drooling monkeys climbed up our backs and stole us away.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught her wink, and I chuckled with a shake of my head.

  Then she sobered a little.

  “You could have…” She hesitated, chewing on that damned lip, her gaze dropping with the flush that reddened her cheeks. “Didn’t you see all those girls looking at you? You could have taken any one of them home.”

  She looked back at me, seeking an answer. Wasn’t it obvious why I hadn’t? Why I’d rather be here than anywhere else? Did she forget that kiss?

  Yeah. I’d told her I wanted to be friends, but the current passing between us exposed the lie of that promise.

  I kept my attention trained out the windshield. “Didn’t want to go home with any of those girls, Samantha.”

  My confession flared the tension. I could feel her eyes on me, probing, as if she was desperate for a way to see inside me. Silence stretched like a keening bow, all that unsaid shit that remained a barrier between us stealing the air, all that hurt and injustice screaming out like a burden I no longer wa
nted to bear.

  Exhaling heavily, I turned into her quiet neighborhood, our few stolen minutes coming too quickly to an end, and I felt no more satisfied than when she’d turned her back on me the night I’d kissed her on this very street.

  Samantha’s raspy voice cut into the silence. “I don’t want to go home.”

  Confused, I looked over at her.

  “Please, don’t take me there,” she begged, a little panicked. She shut her eyes as if she was terrified to say it, but still the confession quietly bled free. “I hate it there.”

  My lack of hesitation when I flipped a U in the middle of the road should have been a warning. “Then where do you want me to take you?”

  “Anywhere. Just not there.”

  I scratched at the stubble on my chin, contemplating how fucking ecstatic I felt. In the next instant, I felt like shit, sick at my own selfish happiness when this amazing girl had just admitted she hated her home. But that news was too good to my ears for me to pretend otherwise. I slipped her a sidelong glance. “Not a whole lot is open at this time of night.”

  She wrung her hands, then whispered, “Take me to your place.” Her volume increased. “I want to know where you live… what it’s like. Take me there.” Curiosity and excitement widened her eyes, and she clapped her hands like she’d just latched onto the most brilliant solution.

  Okay, maybe she wasn’t just tipsy. She was pretty danged sloshed, and she’d made a quick flip to all cute and pleading, and my dick that had been misbehaving all night suddenly had ideas of being very, very bad.

  “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.”

  “Please?” she begged, all eager and thrilled. “I’ve been wondering what it’s like… where you’d live now that you’re grown. Is your bedroom as messy as it used to be in high school? I bet your entire house is trashed.” And I knew she was joking now, but I could feel it, her trying to tie me to that boy she used to know.

  A strangled groan crept up my throat, and I cursed under my breath when I gave in and turned in the direction of my house. “Some things change, Samantha.”

  Her voice dropped. “For the good or the bad?”

  “A lot for the bad,” I admitted softly, knowing she needed to hear it, because the girl was no fool, and I knew she had a suspicion of the man I’d become.