by Linda Warren
“I want to go out with C.J.,” he interrupted, feeling as if he were fourteen again, needing his mother’s permission.
“Why?” She threw up her hands. “What’s so special about her?”
“I like her. I like her a lot.”
Weakly she sank back against the sofa. “It’s happening all over again. She’s trying to take you away from me, just like she tried to take your father.”
“What?” Had he heard her correctly?
She twisted her hands, her words coming fast, her breath jerky. “It all started when that money began coming to his office. At first she refused to take it, said she didn’t want money from anyone who hadn’t enough guts to give it to her in person. Your dad said he admired her character and strength, and eventually he talked her into accepting it. He starting advising her on college, then he was helping her with her courses. It was C.J. this and C.J. that. He started meeting her after work and on weekends. Time he used to spend with me he was spending with her.”
Matthew had a bitter taste in his mouth. “Are you saying they were having an…” He couldn’t say the word affair. The thought would have been laughable if not for the look on his mother’s face. “A relationship?” he finished.
“Yes.”
The bitter taste spread from his mouth throughout his body, but he knew something was wrong with this explanation. There had to be another one.
Seeing the look in his eyes, she quickly added, “Not that kind of relationship. You know your father—he wasn’t the type. It was more of a father-daughter thing. He liked her and wanted to help her.”
Relief spiraled through his system, but he knew he couldn’t leave it at that. His dark eyes held hers. “Then why don’t you like her?”
She twisted her hands again in that nervous gesture. “You’re going to think I’m a silly old woman.”
“Tell me, anyway.”
She shrugged. “I was jealous. Matt and I always wanted lots of children, but after four miscarriages we only had you. And that was when we were already in our thirties. Suddenly he seemed to have the daughter he’d always wanted, and I felt left out. Especially when he wouldn’t discuss her with me.”
The bile rose up in his throat and he wanted to forget the whole thing. But he couldn’t. He had to know. He got up, crossed to the sofa and sat by his mom. He took her hands in his. “I don’t want to ask this question, but I have to. Please try to understand.” He paused, searching for the right words, then he squeezed her hands and asked, “Could Dad be her father?”
She jerked her hands from his, anger burning in her eyes. “How dare you ask me such a thing? Your dad loved me and was never unfaithful. How could you even think such an awful thing?”
He reached for her hands again and held them tight. “Mom, the mere thought is like acid in my stomach, eating away at me, but so many things don’t add up. His involvement with the Townsends and with C.J., the money and so many other things. There has to be a reason he was so concerned about her.”
“He is not her father, Matthew.”
He closed his eyes, then looked directly at her. “Can you be sure of that?”
Without blinking, without hesitating, she said, “Yes.”
“Mom, I loved him, too, but he wasn’t perfect, and please don’t dismiss this because of the way we felt about him. I like C.J., and my feelings toward her are not brotherly. So please help me believe it, too.”
“You want proof?” she asked pointedly.
He was taken aback for a moment. “You have proof?”
She got up and went into his father’s study. He could hear her opening drawers and rustling paper. In a few minutes she was back and handed him a manila folder.
Matthew opened it up and started to read. His eyes grew wide and he could scarcely believe what he was seeing.
“It’s true,” his mother said softly. “When you were about a year old, you dad came down with a severe case of mumps. At his age it was catastrophic. Dr. Haslow gave him a strong medication to get him over it. In the end the medication and the mumps rendered him sterile.” She gazed down at her hands, as if reliving that time. “We were devastated, so we went to Austin to get a second and then a third opinion.” She waved her hand toward the folder. “The results are all there. He was sterile.”
He shook his head. “Why didn’t I know about this?”
“It wasn’t something your father liked to talk about. At first he felt as if it diminished his manhood, and we had kind of a rough time, but our love got us through.”
“Oh, Mom.” He wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so sorry to bring it all up again.”
She sniffed into his shoulder. “We were lucky. We had you.”
Matthew drew back and looked into her eyes. “I really couldn’t believe he was C.J.’s father, but I had to ask. I hope you understand.”
Her hand touched his face. “This girl means a great deal to you, doesn’t she?”
“Yes,” he breathed, knowing his feelings for C.J. were growing with every day. A smile curved his lips. “I wish you’d get to know her. She’s really a unique person, so full of life and hopes and dreams.”
At the affection in his voice, she said, “Matt used to say similar things about her. I guess I’ve let jealousy cloud my judgment. Well, maybe I’m not too old to learn from my mistakes. I suppose it’s time I found out what y’all are talking about.”
“That would make me very happy,” he replied, feeling as if a gigantic weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
Belle smiled sheepishly at her son. “I don’t know if your father ever told you, but you’re not supposed to fall for the opposition.”
“Oh, Mom.” He sighed and leaned back against the sofa. He knew she was teasing, but there was truth in her words. “Being a New York lawyer, I thought I could handle just about anything, but this case has thrown me for a loop. I can’t seem to think straight when I’m around C.J. I knew it was a lapse in judgment to ride to Austin with her, but I couldn’t help myself. Now I’m so glad I did. At least I was there to help her.”
“I can’t believe the Townsends would hire someone to kill C.J. I’ve known them all my life, and despite their dislike of the Watsons, I don’t believe any one of them would go to those lengths.”
“As their attorney, I have to believe that, too.” He kissed her cheek, eager to call C.J. But this type of news he wanted to tell her in person, so he settled for a quick phone call, asking her to be at his office first thing in the morning.
WHEN MATTHEW GOT to the office Monday morning, Miss Emma was already there staring at him over her rhinestone glasses. One thing about Miss Emma, she could be punctual, efficient and annoying all in the same breath.
“Pretty boy. Pretty boy,” Matthew heard over his shoulder.
He turned to see Herman in his cage, sitting on a table by the window.
“Now, don’t go getting your dander up,” Miss Emma warned. “I only brought him in because Doc Lowe said he was lonely. He’d gotten used to my being at home when your father fell ill. I’ll put him in the conference room if he becomes a bother.”
Matthew flashed her a big smile. “Miss Emma, nothing is going to bother me today, not even Herman.”
“Oh boy. Oh boy,” Herman piped up.
Miss Emma cast Matthew a strange look. “Have you had too much coffee this morning?”
“No, I’m just in a very good mood,” he told her. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this good. The whole world seemed brighter and clearer, and he had the ridiculous urge to keep on smiling.
“If you say so,” she replied, still eyeing him with that strange look. “The Bower case is at ten. The file’s on your desk. If you have any questions, just ask.”
He was getting used to her brisk manner. It didn’t bother him at all. “Isn’t that the chicken thief?” he asked, and took the mail she was handing him.
“Yes, he was caught red-handed, so the best you can hope for is a probated sentence. He h
as a family to take care of, and usually Judge Mason is very lenient in these cases.”
Normally he would be annoyed with Miss Emma for telling him how to handle a case, but he must be mellowing. He realized she knew these people much better than he.
The rattle of a trailer caught his attention and he glanced outside. C.J. pulled up and parked along the curb with the long trailer, taking up several parking spaces.
“She’s doing it again,” Miss Emma grumbled.
Herman gave a low wolf whistle.
Matthew glanced at the bird and laughed. “Well, Herman, you and I agree on something.”
“Herman, how many times have I told you not to whistle at girls?” Miss Emma scolded.
“Bossy lady. Bossy lady,” Herman responded.
Miss Emma ignored the remark as she noticed Pete and Harry getting out of the truck. “I hope she’s not bringing those two old coots in here with her.”
“You got something against Pete and Harry?”
“Pete thinks he’s a ladies’ man, and Harry…well, I’d just prefer if Harry stayed outside.”
Matthew suspected there was a story behind her words, but he didn’t have time to dwell on Miss Emma and her peculiarities. He had more important things to concern him.
“Send C.J. in,” he said, entering his office.
C.J. came inside, looking radiant and beautiful in tight jeans and a pink shirt. As she quietly closed the door, he saw a momentary look of discomfort on her face.
“If this is about Pete and Harry, they won’t cause any more trouble.” The first thing C.J. noticed, besides Matthew’s warm smile, was his change of clothes. He wore jeans, a short-sleeved white shirt and his usual boots. The city man was becoming countrified. She liked the look. Oh, she liked it a lot.
“This isn’t about Pete and Harry.” He broke through her thoughts.
She frowned. “It isn’t?”
“No.” He waved a hand toward the chair opposite his desk. “Have a seat. I want to talk to you.”
“What about?” The frown deepened as she sat.
He leaned against the desk and folded his arms across his chest. “I just need to know where you want to go on this date. Somewhere here in town? Or would you like to go to Austin for—”
“Date?” she interrupted. Suddenly her face cleared.
“You asked your mother?”
“Yep.” He couldn’t help smiling. “And you can rest assured that my dad is not your father.”
The frown reappeared. “How can you be so sure? I mean, your mother wouldn’t come out and admit it, would she?”
Matthew held up his hand. “I had the same doubts.” He reached for his briefcase and took out the folder. “I think this will answer all your questions.”
Leafing through the folder, she said, “These are medical reports.”
“Yes. Read what they say.”
He waited while she did so.
“Your dad was sterile.” She sighed, shaking her head.
“I can’t believe it.”
“Yes. It happened when I was a year old. So there’s no way he could be your father.”
She fingered the folder, her expression hidden from him. So many emotions coursed through her, but relief was paramount. She and Matthew weren’t related. Ever since the first day she’d met him, she’d searched his features, looking fearfully for a clue that would tie them together. Every time she got near Matthew, though, so many other feelings surfaced. He stirred strong emotions in her, and the idea that they might have the same father had torn her apart. Now she knew they didn’t—knew absolutely, positively. But there was something else that nagged at her.
Matthew watched her bowed head. “Aren’t you happy about this?” he had to ask.
She lifted her head, her green eyes troubled. “Yes, of course, but why doesn’t your mother like me?”
“A simple case of jealousy.”
“Jealousy?”
“You have to understand that my parents were always close, more so since I went away to college. Suddenly he was spending time with you, helping you. Evidently he knew something about you, and he didn’t share that knowledge with my mom. They’d always shared everything, and she resented him for keeping this from her. And she blamed you.”
“I never meant to cause problems between them.”
“I know, and I think Mom knows it, too.”
There was silence for a moment, then she asked, “Do you think your dad knew one of my parents?”
“Yes, I think he did,” he said honestly.
“I thought so, too, but he would never tell me. Then I thought that since he wouldn’t, he must be my father. I’ve believed so many things and none of them were true. I feel like a fool. Your mother must really hate me now.”
Matthew pulled her to her feet, gazing into her eyes. “No, she doesn’t. She feels like a silly old woman, and it’s all because neither one of you knew what was going on. Maybe when we get the results of the paternity tests, we’ll have some answers.”
“I hope so,” she replied.
“In the meantime we have a date to plan.”
“Yes.” Her eyes glowed.
Matthew brought her closer, his hands resting lightly on her waist. “It’s such a relief knowing we’re not related, but I wouldn’t mind being kissin’ cousins.”
“You wouldn’t?” she whispered, acutely aware of her pounding heart and quickened breath.
Staring at her lips, he breathed, “No.”
Almost in slow motion she took the step that brought her body against his. He drew a sharp breath, and she could feel his warmth and the rapid beat of his heart. He bent his head and softly touched her lips. His were warm and gentle, just as she’d known they would be, but there was passion and fire simmering beneath the tentative caress. She trembled with a shiver of expectation, and she reveled in the sensual pleasures his lips promised.
At the feel of her quivering body Matthew groaned and pulled her tightly against him, his lips taking hers in a fiery hunger. She met his hunger with equal fervor, her hands tangling in his dark hair, giving herself over to the desires his touch had unleashed. It seemed as if she’d waited all her life to feel his touch, his kiss, his possession.
Her kiss, her touch was everything Matthew had dreamed of. He felt himself going up in flames, losing control, losing himself totally and completely in her sweetness. The kiss deepened as his mouth opened over hers, his tongue exploring, tasting.
The taste and feel of him danced through her and she didn’t want to think, just abandon herself to all these feelings her body craved. But despite the swirls of pleasure, a nagging warning intruded.
Ignore it. Ignore it.
But the warning persisted.
Slowly she pulled back, her hand against her bruised lips, her eyes darkened with the passion they’d just shared.
There was something else in her eyes, something Matthew didn’t want to see. Could it be fear? Did he frighten her?
He quickly said, “I didn’t mean to go that far.”
“It’s all right. I wanted it, too.”
His alarm disappeared and he reached for her again, but she backed away. “No,” she said, an ache in her voice.
“As much as I want to, I can’t.” At his puzzled look she explained, “My whole life is consumed with finding out who I am, and until I know who my parents are, I won’t allow my emotions to be swayed by something I can’t handle.”
He took a step toward her, trying to understand what those emotions were, but all he could feel was the heady sensation of her touch. “C.J.,” he whispered.
That soft note in his voice almost destroyed her resolve. She wanted to give in, feel all the things she knew he could make her feel, but there was so much standing between them.
“I have to be honest,” she said with more strength than she really felt.
“I wouldn’t want you to be any other way.”
“Aside from the mystery of my birth, there are other things
that bother me.”
“Such as?”
C.J. looked down at her hands. “I have a feeling you could hurt me badly.”
“I would never hurt you,” he stated emphatically.
Her eyes met his. “Not intentionally, no. But your life is in New York and you’ll be going back there soon. My life is here in Coberville and…” Her voice faded, her meaning very clear, and what bothered him was that he couldn’t deny her words.
He would be going back to New York, and he knew she wasn’t the type of woman to want a brief affair. He wasn’t even sure it was what he wanted. Thoughts of taking her to New York flitted through his mind, but he knew her spirit would suffocate in the crowded city with its skyscraper canyons and dirty skies. She needed sunshine, clear days and the quiet, familiar environment of Coberville, Texas.
They stared at each other for several seconds, and he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her he could alleviate all her fears, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to her.
A tap on the door interrupted the silence, and Miss Emma poked her head around. “Dr. Ryder’s on the phone. Said it was important.”
Matthew reached for the receiver, and C.J. knew she should leave, but if the call had something to do with her, she wanted to know.
She listened carefully to what Matthew was saying, but his clipped responses gave her few clues.
“Yes. When? Okay. Let me know of any other developments.”
As he hung up she asked, “What happened?”
He scowled at the phone for a second, then said, “Someone broke into Ryder Laboratories last night.”
She was dumbfounded. “Is Cliff okay?”
“Yes, Cliff’s fine, but the security guard didn’t fare so well. Someone drugged his coffee and he had an allergic reaction. He’s in the hospital, but Cliff says he’ll be okay.”
“What was the thief after?”
Matthew paused again, wondering how much he should tell her. “Nothing was missing or stolen, but one of their tests had been tampered with.”
“Which test?” she asked quietly.
“Someone switched your vial of blood.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Cliff said not to worry. They took several vials of blood, so they’re throwing out the first test and starting over.”