by Ava Miles
The feng shui expert had moved all of the furniture around with Bonnie’s help after finalizing his plan and making his shopping list. Chase had hated watching from his scooter. Then Jarvis had swapped out the paintings and various knickknacks. At the door, he’d winked and said, “I’ll be back,” in a terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger voice. Bonnie had laughed. Chase had thought about firing him on the spot.
As if comfort could come from a place. From the way a house was arranged.
“Do you feel more healing energy in this place?” Chase asked dryly.
Andy bit his lip. “Do you?”
“I’m all soft and squishy inside,” he said, petting Barney. “Shall we get started?”
“I need to get some equipment from the car,” Andy said. “Why don’t you go into your bedroom and take off your shirt? We can do the exam in there. Bonnie, you mind helping me?”
Chase knew that request was code for “fill me in on the moody patient.” He propelled his scooter off to his temporary bedroom and fought another growl. Jarvis had not only changed the position of his bed—he had to admit it now had a nice view of the lake and mountains—he’d also laid a homey yellow afghan from the linen closet on the edge of the bed. Chase yanked it off violently, causing Barney to meow and jump off his lap.
“You got something against afghans?” Andy asked from the doorway.
Chase moved his scooter toward the dresser. “I don’t like the color.” After stuffing the blanket inside one of the drawers, he turned to face Andy.
“How did your healing sessions go?” Andy asked.
“The acupuncture and Qigong wasn’t bad,” Chase said, realizing it was probably time to set up another appointment with Dr. Sarah. He also needed to start incorporating his Qigong exercises into his day.
“And the energy healing with Ally?” Andy helped Chase remove his shirt and then got out his stethoscope.
“It’s not for everyone,” Chase said. “The whole thing was…weird. She knew things she couldn’t have known.”
Andy listened thoughtfully to his heart and then said, “She often does. Part of her gift. You strike me as a private man. Did the experience upset you?”
“I wish it hadn’t.” Few things got under his skin, but there was no denying the effect she’d had on him.
Andy took his blood pressure—a little higher than the last time, but still normal—and then gave him a full checkup. The mobile EKG was pretty cool. Evan would have geeked out.
“Your EKG is normal,” Andy said. “Have you had any other pain since we last spoke about it?”
Chase thought about the damn pillow incident with Jarvis. “A little bit this morning. When Jarvis pissed me off.”
“What was he doing?” Andy asked.
There was a small smile on the doctor’s face, but his eyes were intent. Shit, Chase knew he was going to sound like a moron. But Andy was here to look at his heart. He needed to be as forthright with him as possible. “We were arguing about his desire to include a stupid pillow in my relationship bagua.”
“I can see how that might piss you off,” Andy said. “What was wrong with the pillow?”
He felt everything inside of him tighten. “It was too homey. I mean, do I look like a homey kind of guy to you?”
“Where’s the pillow now?” Andy asked. “Maybe I can take it off your hands. If it’s pissing you off this much, it probably shouldn’t be around the house.”
Sweat broke out across his skin. “Don’t worry about it. I hid it.”
“Really, Chase, I should take it with me. Where is it? If it’s that awful, I’ll put it in the trash with my exam gloves.”
He couldn’t let that happen. “I told you not to worry about it.”
Andy put his hands on his hips. “You’re getting pretty upset here. I feel like I’m missing out if I don’t see this pillow. Is it ugly? Or just offensive?”
The very sight of it offended Chase, but it wasn’t ugly. His mom had made that pillow. “It’s just me. I don’t like it.”
“Seriously, can’t I take a peek? I need a good story for my nurses, and it sounds like this pillow might be just the thing.”
“Really, it’s no big deal,” Chase said. His voice had risen to an uncomfortable level, and he mentally chastened himself. He needed to keep a lid on his temper. Andy didn’t deserve this attitude from him, plus the guy was Moira’s brother. Given how much she was coming to mean to Chase, he needed to be on his best behavior.
“Man, this is really pissing you off, isn’t it? And all over a pillow. I’ve really gotta see this, Chase.”
“I said no,” Chase said in a hard tone.
A jolt of pain shot through his chest, and he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Andy was on his knees in front of him in a second.
“Are you having chest pain?” he asked.
“It’s like the other times,” Chase barked out. “Like a bolt of pain shot through my ribs and then disappeared.”
Andy took his pulse. “Maybe we should go to the hospital. You can’t manage a stress test right now given your injuries, but we could do a CT test. It’s possible you could have plaque in the blood vessels of your heart.”
“My cholesterol is normal,” Chase said, shaking his head.
“So we discovered when you came to the ER,” Andy said, rubbing his chin. “Chase, I hate to press you on this, but I’m going to seriously recommend you let me see this pillow. It’s elevated your heart rate, caused you to sweat and be flushed, and given you chest pain.”
He looked away. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Never be embarrassed when it comes to your health,” Andy said. “No judgments here. Where is it?”
Hanging his head, he said, “In the closet.”
Andy opened the door, disappeared for a moment, and then returned with the pillow. “This wasn’t what I expected, I have to admit. What about this pillow upsets you this much?”
Shit. He felt the rawness of his emotions tumble forward. “Evan brought it from a closet in my house in Virginia. My mother made it.”
Andy’s mouth opened for a moment before he finally spoke. “Okay,” he said, “I’m going to sit down on your bed, if that’s okay, while you tell me about this. One thing I’ve learned about the body is that when it’s hurt or upset, there’s often a charge somewhere causing all of it. More doctors are coming to believe in the mind/body connection, and I happen to be one of them. It’s important for us to talk about this.”
Chase took a deep breath. “Ally stumbled on some stuff that made me upset too, but dammit, I’ve put all of this behind me.”
“Have you?” Andy asked. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but this is a really nice pillow your mom made you.”
Chase was embarrassed to feel his throat thicken. “It was the one item my mom managed to save from the ranch. I hate that she sent it to me after I left Wyoming for college. I don’t know what the hell she was trying to do.”
Andy held the pillow to his chest, the words facing outward. “What happened to your ranch, Chase?”
He could smell the smoke suddenly, cloying and choking. All these years later, it tickled his throat and made him cough. “It burned down.”
“I’m sorry,” Andy said. “How old were you?”
“Twelve.” After that night, he’d never felt like a kid again. He’d stepped up, taking extra jobs so he could his mom pay for their small apartment in Cheyenne. Every spare minute had been spent studying—even then he’d known it was his ticket out.
“I can’t imagine,” Andy said. “Must have been hard on your family.”
“It didn’t get any easier when the insurance company cut us a miserable check for the loss, one that wouldn’t allow us to rebuild.” Chase looked longingly at the door, wishing Barney were in his lap. And that was just stupid. He was a grown man. He didn’t need comfort from a cat. But Barney was here, so why not?
He wheeled to the bedroom door and opened it a crack, hoping the kitten would get the me
ssage. Reaching for his shirt, he awkwardly tugged it on. Andy stood to help him.
“What did your family do after that?” he asked.
Chase looked up at him and made himself say it. “My dad shot himself on our land.”
Shock washed over Andy’s face. “God. I… I’m no stranger to loss. You know about my first wife, Kim, I expect. Sorry is such a shitty thing to say—trust me, I know—but I am. Were you the oldest?”
He nodded. “My younger brother was seven. He…took it hard. I tried to motivate him to do well in school so he could go to college. Boone got into trouble. He was thirteen when I went to Harvard. He got into a rough crowd. Started drinking and doing drugs young. He’s an addict living in a trailer park outside Carson City. We don’t speak. I tried a few times, but he…only wants money for drugs.”
But Chase had his security consultant check in on his brother from time to time. The sad truth was, he was pretty sure it was the only way he or his mother would know if his brother ODed and died.
“And your mother?” Andy asked.
“I bought her a house, and we talk at Christmas and on our birthdays,” he said, feeling his chest tighten at the reminder of how remote their relationship had become. “She has a sister she’s not terribly close to, but it’s somewhere to go on the holidays.”
“What do you do around that time of year?”
“I work,” Chase said. “But I don’t totally deprive myself. Usually I’ll fly to one of Europe’s finest capital cities and take a walk after having a nice meal somewhere. When Evan was in Paris, I’d meet him there for a holiday brunch. Suffer through his wacky white elephant gifts.”
Sometimes, though, Evan would buy him a serious gift, something he knew Chase would like. A twenty-three-year-old bottle of Pappy Van Winkle or an engraved Montblanc pen he could use to sign the multi-million-dollar contracts he won for Quid-Atch with their team.
“Evan sounds like he’s become your family in a way,” Andy said. “I know he’s joked about you being the older brother he never had.”
Chase flashed back to what Ally had said about Evan. Somehow in the turmoil, he’d forgotten. “He’s finally found his feet. He doesn’t need to look up to me anymore, and I don’t need to take care of him.”
Andy’s mouth lifted in a half-smile. “Sometimes it’s okay to have family take care of us a little. Chase, when Moira first found me after your accident, she said you’d gotten distracted by the house that had caught fire on the bench. I remember you saying that’s when you first noticed the chest pain. You’d never experienced it before that day?”
He shook his head. “I take good care of myself despite my work schedule.”
Andy set the pillow aside. “I can bring you in for more tests, but I honestly think your chest pain is related to unprocessed emotions about the loss of your family. What did Ally say?”
“It’s like you’re twins,” he said dryly, feeling his chest tighten. “I can’t…I don’t want this to come up. It’s done. I’ve put it in the past where it belongs.”
“Trauma doesn’t work that way,” Andy said. “I know from personal experience. I don’t usually talk about losing my wife, but I feel like it might help you some. You’re a tough guy, and I respect that. I’d like to think I am too, but losing Kim shattered me. She was the love of my life, and we’d just created the most beautiful son together. I finally had my family. And then my partner in all of that was gone.”
Chase’s throat thickened. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m good, really good. And the reason I am is because I let myself grieve. For a while there, I bawled my eyes out every night after I put my kid to bed. I kept doing it until it slowed down and then finally stopped. My son, Danny, deserved to have a dad who had an open heart, and I couldn’t do that if I bottled all my emotions up.”
Chase’s father had chosen a different route, and look how that had worked out for him and his brother. “Your son is a lucky kid.”
“We’re both lucky,” Andy said. “Now I’m engaged to another wonderful woman. I guess what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t give up on home and family.”
“I don’t want a home and a family,” Chase said. “There’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s not for me. Work is my life.”
Andy smiled. “Your anger at the pillow your mother saved from the fire suggests otherwise. The question for you is: do you want to stop being pissed off by this pillow?”
When he put it that way, Chase felt stupid. “I guess. Because I can’t throw it away, and I can’t stand the sight of it.”
“You’re going to hate what I’m about to prescribe, but here goes.” He held up his hands, smirking a little. “Don’t hurt me.”
Something about the glib way he said it reminded Chase of Moira. He felt a tug of longing. Suddenly Barney slipped through the open door and leaped onto his lap. “I was waiting for you,” he told him, scratching the kitten behind the ears. Barney’s purr rumbled against his chest.
“That kitty is cute,” Andy said. “Bonnie has the best cats, I swear. Now, here’s what I suggest. Work with Ally. You can talk to a psychiatrist too, but I’d start with her. She can help people release emotional blocks in…unique ways.”
Yeah, she was unique all right. “Ally knows things.”
“Exactly,” Andy said, brightening up. “You can’t hide from her. It’s alarming at first, but once you trust her, she can take you where you need to go.”
“Where is that?” Chase asked, cupping the kitten’s head in his hands.
“To a place of peace about the past. I have a feeling your chest pain will go away too. But we can do more tests if you’d like.”
“Did you go to Ally after Kim died?” he asked.
“No,” he said. “I handled mine the old-fashioned way. Like I said, I cried a lot. When I got pissed I’d shred paper or go for a run. I was pretty angry with her for leaving me, even though I knew she didn’t want to go. I imagine you were pretty angry with your dad.”
“He took the coward’s way out,” Chase said.
“Ally can help you,” Andy said. “I wouldn’t suggest as much if I didn’t believe it.”
Chase nodded. “She said…” God, was he really going to say this out loud? “She said my dad was sorry. Does she really…hear things from people who’ve passed?”
“Some of my patients have told me she’s been able to give them messages from loved ones,” Andy said, nodding. “If she says she’s heard something, I’d believe her. She’s one of the kindest, most ethical people I know. Ally wouldn’t have let you think her name was Helga, for example.”
Chase’s mouth twitched. “This wasn’t the medical examination I expected today.”
“Me either,” Andy said, reaching down and petting Barney. “But that’s what I love about life. You never know what the next curveball is going to be.”
That was one way to look at it. “Thanks for coming all the way out here, Andy. I know you’re busy at the hospital.”
“I had to,” Andy said. “Moira is my family, and she’s asked me to take good care of you. When she or anyone else I care about asks for something, they get it. Holler if you need something. Otherwise, I’ll check in on you next week, and we’ll reassess your work schedule. You’ll probably be able to start up again slowly. Work a quarter time, maybe half—if you let Jarvis feng shui the rest of the house.” He gave an exaggerated wink.
“Funny,” Chase said.
“I like to leave my patients smiling,” Andy said as he left the room.
Barney jumped off his lap and then leaped onto his bed. “Hey! Get off there. I sleep there.”
The kitten nudged the Home Sweet Love pillow, which Andy had left on the bed, and snuggled against it, purring softly.
Chase left the pillow where it was and sat quietly watching the scene.
Chapter 21
While Caroline worked with artistic types, she did not have the cliché temper
ament. There wasn’t a spontaneous bone in her body. Ask any of her siblings.
She’d been stewing about her schedule. How in the world was she supposed to give over three hundred paintings her complete attention in one long weekend? J.T. was insane.
Staring at the legal pad she’d used to create a mini-list of important considerations, she traced the line about her vacation hours. Thirty-three and a half hours, meaning not quite eight days. She usually took a week off in the spring to go somewhere fun, even if it meant doing something simple like heading south to a house in Taos or Santa Fe. Such great art there, and the food…
Could she take three days off and head to Rome? It simply wouldn’t be enough time to review the collection, and she couldn’t possibly stay with J.T. She barely knew the man.
But she wanted to get to know him better, and not in a completely professional way. That was the rub. If she was going to look over his art and listen to his ideas for this museum he was planning, she needed to get a grip on herself. Needed to control her reaction to him.
But he was so hot. There was no denying that.
She picked up her cell phone and called Uncle Arthur. He knew how to cut to the chase.
“Arthur Hale,” he answered in his normal gravely voice.
“Hi, it’s Caroline,” she said.
“Caroline who? Give me your last name, girl. What am I, a rolodex?”
He sounded so put out, she smiled. “It’s your niece.”
“I know who it is,” he said, laughing. “I was yanking your chain. J.T. tells me you haven’t accepted his offer to go to Rome yet.”
He was speaking with J.T. about her again? She wasn’t sure she liked that. “Hence my call to you. Do you really think I can give this collection in Rome a professional look in a long weekend?”
“I think you can do whatever the hell you want to,” Uncle Arthur said. “Why are you dithering? You young people make everything harder than it needs to be. I don’t know what you’ll do when I’m not around to kick you in the pants.”
“Don’t talk like that.” The thought of not having her crotchety old uncle around to give her a hard time—to inspire and push her—made her sad.