‘Danny, I think something happened at the river.’ I expect him to turn around, sit down next to me and listen to my theories. Instead he kicks the ground, and shakes his head at me.
‘You know what, Lil? I don’t care.’ Then he walks off, dismissing me and leaving me alone with the hay and the cows. Why doesn’t he care what happened to her? Because he knows what happened? Because he was there? Maybe it’s because he had something to do with her disappearance.
There’s laughter coming from the kitchen when I walk into the house. I slam the front door, hoping Ruby will hear me, get the message and come into the hallway to find me, but it doesn’t happen. She’s enjoying her conversation with Mum. I want to grab Ruby and go to the river to see if we can find any evidence of Tilly having drowned. I know it’s crazy, but maybe there’s something, or maybe she’ll reappear and then at least I’ll have a witness.
But when I walk into the kitchen, it doesn’t seem like they even heard me come in, because Ruby’s holding up some sort of macramé creation and making it talk like a puppet, as Mum laughs so much that tears roll down her face. I watch from the doorway, horrified. My mother doesn’t laugh. Not like that. And Ruby doesn’t usually choose her company over mine, either.
‘Ruby? Finished your owl?’
‘Ah, Lil, you’re back. It’s not really an owl – more of a tiger I think,’ Mum says, trying to stop laughing.
Ruby turns the hideous macramé thing on me and starts talking like a ventriloquist. ‘How did you go, my friend?’ it asks in a strange, high-pitched voice.
‘Fine.’
‘Only fine, my friend?’ it asks again with the same annoying voice. Mum’s still laughing, although the look on my face seems to be working.
‘Are you girls hungry? I am,’ she says, getting up from the table and packing her twine away. Ruby sees what she’s doing and grabs the other end with the macramé thing.
‘You haven’t finished. Sit down,’ she says to Mum in her normal voice. ‘Lil and I ate our body weight in chips anyway, so finish your macramé first.’
‘No. I’ll make some sandwiches,’ says Mum.
‘That’s okay, I’m going to take Ruby to the river.’
‘Oh, right,’ says Mum.
‘Can’t I just help your mum finish her masterpiece?’
I look at Ruby, her face peeping out from behind the owl/tiger. What’s she doing? Can’t she see I need her to come with me? I walk out of the kitchen, down the hall, open the front door and slam it shut behind me. I might be crying, but I’m trying not to, as I head through town.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s like everyone else knows more than I do. Ruby seems happy and settled and in love and not missing me anywhere near as much as I’m missing her. And Mum’s happy to sit and laugh with Ruby, but she’d never do that with me. Or maybe she would, but she doesn’t. But then maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I’m the problem. And maybe that’s how Tilly felt after Danny dumped her, and Julia fought with her and she tried to run off, and ended up in the river.
Dashing around the corner of the milk bar, I crash into a woman. Or she crashes into me. There are lots of apologies and when we pull apart, she looks at me and grins.
‘Matilda? Is that you?’
‘No, it’s not.’
And she grins at me, like I’m making a joke. ‘Are you sure? I’m Lorna Davis. I used to babysit you – well maybe not you – but you look so much like—’
‘I’m really not her. I’m sorry.’ And I push past her so hard I’m sure she must fall over because I can hear her mumbling behind me as I rush off. I’m breathing wildly, like someone’s chasing me, like Tilly’s chasing me. And then somebody grabs me from behind. I whip around, trying to pull myself free, but before I can scream, I realise it’s Ruby.
‘I’ve been chasing after you, but you kept running away.’
‘Yeah, from you!’
‘Why? What is wrong with you?’
‘Nothing. Just leave me alone.’
‘Where are you going?’ she says, and I really want to tell her, but instead I keep walking and hope she’ll stop me, or at least come with me, because I don’t want to do this on my own.
But after a few minutes I look back and I can’t see her anywhere. I check my phone, to see if she’s messaged me, but there’s nothing. As I turn to keep going, I see a poster of Tilly’s face. It’s sort of hidden under a bunch of other local posters, but I can see her eyes. It’s the missing persons poster I saw that first week. I wonder why her mum picked a photo of her where she isn’t smiling. I walk past it, and wonder if she knows where I’m going.
The light has changed. There is no sun left. The sky is now so grey and so dark, I know a storm is coming. And that suddenly seems appropriate. I’ve managed to upset Danny, offend Ruby, hurt Mum, and now I’m going hunting.
12
the drowning
Rain starts to fall and I wish I had a jacket on. My arms are cold, my skin has goosebumps, like it gets sometimes when Tilly’s near, but I’m pretty sure it’s just because of the weather. As I reach the track, I hear footsteps behind me. It’s probably Tilly. I don’t want to turn round. I don’t want to see her again. If she’s there I’ll just ignore her and maybe she’ll go away. I’m walking fast, as quickly as I can without actually running. And I don’t really want to run on this ground, because the rain has started to puddle and make it hard to move fast.
As I reach the bridge, my heart starts to race. I slide down the bank, and hit the wooden decking. My feet skid along the wet planks, and I grab at the railing to try to right myself. Behind me, someone yells, and I look up the hill and see Ruby, sliding crazily down to join me.
‘Lil! What are you doing here?’
‘Looking for Tilly.’
The rain’s really heavy now and my hair is soaked. My clothes, too. I hug Ruby tight, like if I don’t let go of her, then we’ll just stay here while it all happens around us.
‘Come back to the house,’ she says.
‘I can’t.’
‘Yes you can.’
‘She’s here. Can’t you sense her?’
She tries to pull me by the hand and take me off the bridge, but I let go, feeling her fingers slip through mine. The rain’s wild; it’s coming straight down, hitting me so hard it almost stings against my skin. Ruby comes for me again and I see the fear in her face. I try to smile at her, let her know that I’m really sure about what I’m doing, but it doesn’t seem to help.
‘This is crazy!’ she yells.
‘Tilly’s here. I know she is. She wants me to find her. That’s what she’s been doing all this time. Luring me to this river.’
‘I don’t care. She’s apparently dead. And you’re not. Yet.’
‘I’m not going to die.’
‘I’m sure she thought that too. Doesn’t every fifteen-year-old?’
‘She was fourteen.’
‘I don’t care. Not about her.’
There’s a crack of thunder and we both look up, expecting to see the sky dropping on us, for being out here in this. The ghost gums look even more terrifying, as the light goes and they’re shadowed in blackness. I have to find her. She’s not going to let me go until I do. As much as it scares me, facing a ghost, Ruby was right. I have to find out what happened and this is the only place I can do that.
As I turn to look down the length of the bridge, I see Tilly, her long hair hanging straight and, weirdly, the ghost of a smile on her face. She’s standing on the other side of the river, on the side no one ever goes to.
‘Look, Ruby! That’s where she is – see?’ And I point through the rain. Behind me, Ruby is scrambling to drag me off the bridge and onto the bank.
‘I’m just going to help her,’ I say in a voice that doesn’t sound like mine.
‘No, Lil!’
But I yank my arm free of Ruby’s and start to run, scrambling along the bridge, as my feet struggle to stay up. In front of me Tilly has her hands out like she’ll catch me. So I run, ten steps, fifteen, twenty, and then I see the gap in the bridge, and I know I can make it to the other side, and behind me I hear Ruby scream, as I leap, my feet flailing in the air, I fly across the river, my hands out for Tilly, and then suddenly, I’m falling.
And falling.
Hitting the water, I smash right through. It’s freezing and it pulls up and catches hold of me, starts dragging me down. I’m tumbling over and over and I look, trying to find up, and all I can see is black, the water’s so black. And my lungs start burning and it’s that feeling again. The terror that found me when I was five, that’s been waiting all this time to strike again.
The river rushes at me, tossing me around like I’m in a washing machine. I’m tumbling over and over, the water so deep and so cold that my breath has gone, left behind on the bridge. And then I hit something. Hard. Maybe it’s the bottom. Maybe I’m all the way to the bottom. And I try to push down with my legs and spring up again, but my foot’s stuck. I’m not sure what it’s caught on, but I can’t pull it free.
Somewhere I can hear a dog barking. Is that Danny’s dog? Is it a ghost?
I try to look up through the water, to see the surface, but it’s all just blackness above me. And maybe it’s too late. Maybe there’s no one there anyway. Is this what Tilly felt that night? Did she jump in? Upset that Danny had dumped her? Did she want it all to end – or just to make him notice her?
The coldness, the thickness of the dark, it’s all just making me so tired. My eyes keep trying to close. I know what that means and it doesn’t scare me. Not now.
But there’s that bark again. I hope it’s not a ghost. I hope it’s someone coming to help. Someone other than Ruby, because she can’t pull me out. The thought of Ruby makes me panic, start pulling wildly, trying to yank my foot free. But it’s still caught. I reach down to see what’s holding me, but I have to try to swim down and I almost can. I try to move my hand down my leg until it reaches my foot, and I feel something. It’s not a tree. Or a rock. Or fishing line wrapped tight around my foot. It’s something like fingers.
My eyes snap open. And I can suddenly see. It’s so clear down here. I can see the hand clutching at my leg, the blue, rotten-looking fingers wrapped tight around my ankle. I try to prise them loose, but they dig in tighter and I know they won’t let me go, not now, not ever.
‘Tilly?’ I try to speak, but a stream of bubbles rushes from my mouth and up, as I feel the last of the air in my lungs leaving me.
And suddenly everything is floating away. All those fears. The town. My family. Ruby.
There’s just the faintest sound of a dog barking. Somewhere.
Something splashes above me, grabs tight around my chest and suddenly I’m being pulled up. Dragged out and onto the bridge. There are arms and faces and tears.
I’m lying on wood. On the bridge.
‘Lil?’
I vomit water all over myself. Something licks my face and I wonder if it’s Luther, come to check if I’m alive.
‘She’s alive!’
‘Yeah, only just.’
‘She’s breathing. She’ll be okay.’
I can hear them talking. Just.
‘Lil?’
The faces crowd in, so close. I keep coughing and the river runs from me, pouring out, onto the bridge, leaving me, cold, sore and tired.
‘Lil, can you hear me? It’s Ruby.’
‘She was down there,’ I whisper.
‘Lil? It’s Danny.’
‘She’s down there. You have to find her. She’s down there.’
I hear them talking again but I don’t have the energy to say anything else. All I can think of is that hand, those blue fingers, wrapped so tight, determined to keep me with her for company, forever.
13
matilda rose
Five days later and Ruby and I are both missing school to watch, as a team of special rescue police in diving suits wade up and down the river. Dad wanted to come with us, but I persuaded him that I had to do this bit on my own. There have been lots of strange conversations in our house since Danny rescued me. Lots of tears, too. Mostly my parents sobbing because they couldn’t quite believe they almost lost their daughter to the water for a second time. In fact they even started playing the blame game for an hour or so, until I pointed out that really it wasn’t because we’d moved to Gideon that I ended up nearly drowning in the river; it was because of Tilly.
It’s not something I ever thought I’d have to do, to convince my parents that a spirit was haunting the house they’d bought. Mum was particularly sceptical, and it took a lot of calm talking on Ruby’s part, before she would even consider it. I think Dad already knew something weird had been going on for me, and anyway he’s just more open to that sort of stuff. Max tried to make money out of it at school, setting up a ghost story blog about Gideon, until Mrs Jarvis found out and shut it down.
It took me quite a few days to convince the local policeman that I did in fact see a hand in the river. Maybe Danny had something to do with them finally believing me, and agreeing to the search. He’s here too, but he’s on the far side, away from me, away from everyone. I still haven’t thanked him for saving me. In fact we haven’t spoken since he dived in and pulled me out. Mum wanted to have his entire family around for dinner to thank him, but I pretended I wasn’t well enough. I’m not up to talking to Danny or Julia yet. I’m pretty sure Tilly did something stupid that led to her death – that after Danny broke up with her, she ran off, and went down to the river, the place they used to go together. And if he’d just told the police earlier that he’d dumped her, maybe they would have started looking for her body before the fish got to it, or the water or whatever happens to make a body decompose in a river.
But I can’t stop looking across at him. I’m amazed that he dived in and saved me. It’s not like he owes me anything. He’s staring down at the river, Luther lying at his feet. Ruby told me it was Luther I could hear under the water. Luther that barked, and barked, and barked, as Danny kept coming up for air and then diving under again to try to find me. Luther wasn’t barking for me; he was barking only for him.
Ruby clutches my hand. ‘You okay?’
‘Yep.’
‘What if they don’t find anything?’
‘They will.’
‘Lil –’
‘They will, Rubes. I know what I saw.’
‘But you saw it when you were drowning. It could have been sticks or anything.’
‘No. It was her hand. And she was holding onto me.’
‘I’m just saying –’
‘I know. I know what you’re saying.’
We’ve had this conversation a hundred times over the past five days. It’s not, Ruby reassures me, that she doesn’t believe me; it’s just that it seems highly improbable that the hand of a ghost would be grabbing my ankle under water. I’m no longer sure what’s likely and what isn’t. All I know is that it was Tilly’s hand and hopefully, given that I’m responsible for six police divers searching a freezing river for five hours, they’ll find it and free her, and me, from this haunting.
At least Ruby doesn’t let go of my hand. It’s the only part of me that isn’t freezing. The rest still hasn’t thawed after being stuck under water for so long.
We watch without speaking as each diver comes up and conferences with another. I’m terrified they’ll decide there’s nothing down there. But we see one nod, indicating further along the river and they all bob back under, one at a time, like shiny black eels.
It’s a perfect autumn day. Low sunshine is sneaking through the gum trees and sparkling across the water. There’s no sign of the storm that ripped through here, tearing at the leaves and the branches, fellin
g whole trees across the track. It’s almost peaceful this afternoon, a good time for a family picnic. The ribbons are dancing under the bridge. They sway and flutter in the light breeze, as if to say, here I am, come and get me.
‘I have to do a wee,’ says Ruby.
‘There are toilets at the oval.’
‘Will you be all right?’
‘Yes, I’m not five,’ I say. I’m almost tired of reassuring everyone else that I’m okay.
Danny and Luther walk over to me as soon as Ruby’s gone. I feel awkward, not knowing what to say.
‘How do you know she’s down there?’ Danny says.
‘She told me,’ I say, without looking at him.
‘How could she tell you?’ I can’t help looking at him, and it hurts to see the sadness in his eyes. He seems older than he did last week. But maybe I do too.
‘Did she ring you? Leave you a note? What, Lil?’ He sounds angry.
‘She haunted me. Until I came looking for her.’
‘But – dead? You sure?’
‘I’m sure. I think she jumped off the bridge after you guys – after you broke up with her, and she drowned.’
‘You think I’m responsible?’
‘No. Well, I don’t know. You should have told people, because it might have made a difference.’
‘She broke up with me, Lil. Said there was someone else. Someone she’d met online. That’s why I thought she’d run away. I thought she’d left that night to meet him. She was wild. She was always wild, okay?’
‘But why – why didn’t you say?’
‘I don’t know. I was embarrassed. She dumped me for some guy she’d met in a chat room.’
‘I’m sorry. You must have really loved—’
He shakes his head. ‘I didn’t. That was the weird thing. We were more friends than anything else. And I don’t believe she’s dead. Tilly could look after herself. She’d jumped that gap so many times. She was the only one who could. She’s not dead. You’re wrong.’
‘I’m not, Danny. I know she’s down there.’
Haunting of Lily Frost Page 17