The only positive was that her brothers weren’t there to embarrass her and Uncle Case was busy with the cows. While Tucker backed his beautiful Appaloosa out of the trailer and got her saddled, Jordan went for Archer. They met at the gate to the fields.
To her surprise, the day started out smoothly. Jordan showed Tucker her favorite places on the farm. They talked about movies, horses – those safe subjects again. Later, they took a break by the pond, unsaddling the horses to let them rest and graze while they shared a thermos of iced tea, cheese crackers, and apples. In the shade of a white ash tree, Jordan received her first kiss. It was tender, sweet, and took her breath away.
On the way back to the farmhouse she felt as light and carefree as a cloud, sure that Archer’s reins were the only thing keeping her from floating away. It wasn’t until she got to the barn that the pressure began behind her eyes. Jordan hadn’t had a vision in a few days and, with her upcoming first date, didn’t give it a second thought. She was overdue.
It came on fast and she had no time to prepare. She managed to get Archer unsaddled before the vision fell upon her like a tornado and swept her away. When Jordan came to after experiencing a particularly horrifying werewolf attack on a young man, Tucker was there, shaking her, calling her name. She couldn’t see him, but the tremor in his voice made her long for dark corners, somewhere safe from his curious eyes.
She told him she hit her head and passed out, but the fact that she had her eyes open the entire time, probably trembling from the vision and mewling like an injured cat, made the flimsy excuse hard to sell.
When Tucker discovered she was blind, he went into full panic mode. Ignoring Jordan’s protests, he ran for Uncle Case. When she finally got her sight back, the look on Tucker’s face told her there would be no more dates, no more kisses, no more following her around the grocery store. She’d seen it many times before – the shifting eyes that couldn’t meet her own, the flushed skin, the painted-on smile…
He slowly backed away, claiming the need to get home and promising to call. She never heard from him again.
<><><>
Even now, the thought of that day left her feeling empty. It had been one of the best and worst moments of her life.
Jordan leaned her head against the cool window, watching the scenery through a curtain of white. She had thought she had it bad when she was a Seeker for the Circle. Now, she was a Paladin – an even worse freak. The hope for some kind of normal life was a pipe dream but still, she couldn’t let it go. Just like those people who buy a weekly lottery ticket when their chances of winning are slim to none.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Xander’s voice was like a life raft. Jordan wanted so badly to reach for it and hang on.
She sighed, turning in her seat. Even in the tarnished light of the car’s interior, she could easily see his profile. Jordan wasn’t so distracted that she couldn’t appreciate how handsome Xander was. Though short, his dark hair had a bit of wave, hinting at soft curls if he’d let it grow longer. His nose sported a small bump on the bridge, but the quirk gave it character. A strong, clean-shaven jaw led to a pair of nicely proportioned lips – the top slightly fuller than the bottom. His chin had a slight trace of a cleft.
“How do I rank?” he asked with a smile. “Is there hope of a girlfriend in my future or should I start making inquiries at monasteries?” His eyes, framed by long lashes, twinkled mischievously.
Jordan longed to reciprocate his teasing but knew that all too familiar path would lead to a dead end. Instead, she asked, “What makes you think something’s wrong?”
His smile disappeared. “I can feel it.”
Jordan nodded. “You’re an empath.”
“No. I can’t feel anyone’s emotions but yours.”
“Why?”
Xander shrugged. “I was hoping you’d know. It’s like I have a connection to you.”
“What do you mean?” Jordan wondered if his feelings ran as deep as her own.
“I can’t explain it.”
“Try.”
The hum of tires on pavement made a soothing backdrop for confessions and secrets. After a quick look in the rearview mirror, he said, “A piece of me I didn’t even know was missing returned the day I met you. For the first time in my life I feel complete – like I finally have a purpose.”
Jordan stared, not sure what to say. Xander gripped the steering wheel, white knuckles standing out sharply beneath his skin.
“What purpose?” she asked barely above a whisper.
“Maybe keeping you safe?” He flexed his fingers. “I don’t understand it anymore than you do.”
Xander touched the back of her hand and she pulled her attention away from the road to look at him. “Why did you pick me for this hunt?” he asked.
Jordan’s first reaction was to repeat what she told his father – Orias would have insisted he go anyway. But Xander had been honest and deserved the same. She struggled to find words that didn’t make her come across like a lovesick girl with a crush. What she felt when she was near him went much deeper, and in a totally different direction, than that.
“Because you feel like home,” she blurted.
Mentally kicking herself, Jordan bit her lip. As blood crept into her cheeks, making them burn, she sent up a silent prayer that Ivy wasn’t listening. Though her sister knew how she felt, talking to Xander was hard enough without an audience. Besides, Ivy was comfortable around people their age. Jordan pictured her rolling her eyes in the back seat and wanted to hurl herself out the passenger door.
There’s no hope for me, she thought.
Xander’s hand covered her own. “If I had a home, I bet you’d remind me of it, too.”
Resisting the urge to lace her fingers with his, Jordan pulled her hand away, reaching for her bottle of water as an excuse. She took a swig and said, “I thought you lived with Orias.”
He slowed to take a sharp curve. The storm was letting up and Jordan was glad. They might make Wausau after all.
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say I live with Orias and Ava. I’m more like a boarder who doesn’t pay rent.”
“He called you his adopted son.”
“Whatever. He sure as hell doesn’t treat me like one. For the most part, Orias ignores me.” Xander reached for her water and took a long drink. “Not that I care,” he continued, handing the bottle back. “Frankly, I can’t stand him – and I’d like nothing more than to wring Ava’s neck. Talk about needing a straitjacket and some happy meds…” He snorted. “She’s as uptight as a mosquito’s ass in a nosedive.”
From the back seat, Ivy burst out laughing. Soon, Jordan and Xander joined in.
After they settled down, Ivy asked, “What level Cambion are you, Xander?”
He closed his eyes. They glowed green when he opened them. Ivy nodded. He was one step above the lowest level.
That surprised Jordan. She felt certain he’d rank at least as high as Ivy.
Xander closed his eyes again. When he opened them this time, they glowed red. Again, and they glowed yellow.
Ivy gasped. “Well, that’s something I haven’t seen before. What powers do you have?”
At that, Xander grew quiet. Jaws clenched, he watched the winding road.
Jordan wondered why. He probably knew everything there was to know about her from Orias, and Ivy wasn’t shy when it came to discussing her demon status or anything else.
Behind her, Ivy huffed. “Oh, come on, Xander. I can’t stand Orias, either. I won’t be inviting him over for a sleepover so we can braid each other’s hair and gossip anytime soon, so ‘fess up.”
He glared at Ivy so long in the rearview that Jordan reached for the “Oh, Shit Bar” above her head, sure they would run off the road. When he broke contact and looked back the way they were traveling, her heartbeat slowed to normal rhythm.
“If you can’t trust us, who can you trust?” Ivy pressed on in typical fashion. “We’re basically putting our
lives in each other’s hands by doing this job together. My sister has faith in you and me. She wouldn’t have asked us to help otherwise. I’d never do anything to jeopardize that. I care about her too much.”
Jordan reached across the seat and she and Ivy bumped fists. If she was allowed to return home when the job was done, Jordan would make it a priority to keep in touch with her half-sister. She could no longer deny she had grown to love Ivy. The fact that she was part demon had never been the issue when it came to keeping her distance.
Like a piece of agate in a rock tumbler, Jordan’s reluctance to admit her true feelings rolled around inside her head. What emerged was as lucid as clear quartz.
She was afraid – not only of getting close but of what others might think. Until then, it had never occurred to her that there was no one to worry about or impress. She was no longer in the Circle – not that it mattered. Gabe had already walked away. Uncle Case and the boys would come to understand and love her regardless.
“I’m an Invictus.”
Xander’s reluctant answer to Ivy’s question meant nothing to Jordan. Her sister, however, looked pissed.
Scowling at the back of his head, Ivy said, “Well, isn’t that enlightening.”
“What?” Jordan asked.
“An Invictus has the power of persuasion,” she answered, shaking her head. “No wonder Jordan invited you along for the ride.”
Ivy’s implication had just begun to sink in when Xander came to an abrupt stop on the side of the road. He slammed the gearshift into Park and turned in his seat.
“I did not persuade Jordan in any way.”
His voice was a deep growl. The hairs on Jordan’s arms stood up.
“I can’t influence feelings, only thoughts – and my power only works on lesser demons and humans.” His eyes pleaded with her. “I swear, Jordan. I’ve never used my power on anyone.”
Refusing to let it go, as was her custom, Ivy said, “If you’ve never used your power then how do you know it only works on lesser demons and humans?”
“By accident,” he spat. “At the orphanage, my favorite pastime was reading comics in an old tree house that stood at the edge of the property. The activities director was a lazy sow who hated being outdoors. She always ordered us to stay inside and paint so she could stuff her face with donuts and yak on the phone.”
Xander looked out the window, his faraway eyes clearly seeing a different time and place.
“One day, I pretended I had super powers. Staring at her, I thought to myself, ‘You want us to go outside and play.’ Seconds later, her eyes glazed over, sweat dripped off her head…I thought she was sick. Instead of spewing the half dozen donuts she’d wolfed down in front of us, she said we could go outside and play.”
“That could have been a coincidence,” Jordan said.
“Maybe,” he conceded. “That’s one of the reasons Orias wanted me with you on this job. He thinks I’m useless.”
“What other powers do you have?” Ivy demanded. “I know damn well if you can change your eye color like that you’re much more than an Invictus.”
He rounded on her then. “You told me to confide in you because we all need to trust one another, then accused me of using my power to influence Jordan.” He turned in his seat, put the car in Drive, and checked the rearview before pulling back out on the road. “We’ll all ice skate in Hell before I tell you anything else.”
“Well, that sucks.” Ivy stretched her legs and plucked her iPod off the seat beside her. “I’ve got money on the Raiders’ game this week. It would be nice to know if they’ll win.” She paused, looking dejected with one earbud in place and the other swinging like a pendulum in front of her. “Then again, we’ll probably all ice skate in Hell before that happens, too.”
Jordan silently agreed while Xander’s lips twitched in a reluctant smile.
<><><>
They reached Wausau a little after 7:00 p.m. The Jefferson Street Inn never looked so good. Really. The place was fabulous as far as hotels went. Ivy insisted on putting Orias’ money to good use so they got one of the most expensive suites available with a second, attached guest room.
Once inside, they all went their separate ways. Ivy headed for the coffee pot, Xander to the guest room, and Jordan, feeling a bit lost, sat on the couch. She needed a shower, some food and, most important, to make a phone call.
She made Xander stop at Wal-Mart where she bought a disposable phone. When she’d left Tennessee with Aamon and Ivy, Jordan had forgotten to retrieve her cell from Nathan’s car. Afterward, Aamon had been reluctant to let her have one, stating the angels would expect her to contact her family and would trace the call. The idea of angels tracing electronic devices seemed comical and ridiculous, but Jordan held her tongue.
Now, there was no one to stop her. Ivy, of course, balked at the idea. Jordan ignored her. After three months of silence, her family felt as distant as the moon. Hearing their voices would help her reconnect.
She hoped.
Xander returned and inquired about food. Too tired to go out, they agreed to order pizza. Jordan, a steaming cup of coffee in hand, went to take a shower.
Wrapped in a fluffy robe, feeling ninety percent better thanks to good water pressure and strawberry scented shampoo, she followed the aroma of Italian spices and tomato sauce to the kitchen. In the living room, Ivy and Xander watched a Supernatural re-run while devouring slices of pizza. They weren’t speaking, but at least they occupied the same space. Jordan took that as a positive sign.
Finished with her supper, Ivy decided to take advantage of the whirlpool tub in the bedroom. Jordan waited until the door closed behind her, then pulled the disposable cell from the pocket of the robe. She rubbed the keys with her thumb, tracing the digits of the phone number at the farm. Her family was waiting for her, needed to hear from her. The thought of the call made her hands shake.
“I’ll give you some privacy,” Xander said. He took her plate, stacked it on top of his own, and carried them to the kitchen. When he walked past her to his room, she was still staring at the phone in her hand.
“You okay?”
Jordan licked her lips. “I don’t know.” Her voice shook. “For three months, all I’ve wanted is to talk to my family. It just occurred to me that they may not feel the same.”
Xander sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. Jordan buried her face in his broad chest and cried. “Wha-what if th-they hate me now?” she stuttered, words muffled against his shirt. “What if they d-don’t want me anymore?”
“Shh,” he soothed, rubbing her back. “Call them. I’d bet my life you couldn’t be farther from the truth.”
“I’m – scared.”
“We’re all scared sometimes.”
Jordan snatched some tissues from a nearby box and dried her eyes, waiting for the heat of embarrassment to color her cheeks but it never came. Crying in front of Xander, confessing her insecurities, felt no different than when she talked to Nathan.
“You won’t be able to concentrate on this job until you put your mind at ease.” He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face.
“I know.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “What if they’re being watched? My call could put us all in danger.”
Watching her hands shred the tissue, Xander asked, “Who would the angels expect you to call – which member of your family?”
Without hesitation, she answered, “My brother, Nathan, or my uncle.”
“What about your other brother…?”
“Quinn,” she supplied the name he was reaching for. Jordan massaged her temples. “Maybe, I don’t know. For a long time, he and I didn’t get along. We took a few steps toward repairing our relationship, but then I had to disappear. It’s unlikely that the angels know that.”
“Then that’s who you should call. Chances are, they won’t watch him as closely as the others, if they’re watching at all.”
Jordan had no doubt Nathan and Case were being watched. Michael
knew the particulars of their family life.
“Does Quinn have a cell phone?”
She nodded.
From the bedroom, they heard Ivy moving about. Xander nodded toward his room. “Go in there to make your call. I’ll sit out here and make sure she doesn’t interrupt.” His smile was devilish.
Jordan rolled her eyes. “No arguing.”
He crossed his heart with his finger. On impulse, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. It was an innocent peck but still, she didn’t want to give Xander the wrong idea.
Thankfully, he winked and shooed her away. “Be gone, woman. It’s time for my show.”
He flipped the channel to Dance Moms and Jordan chuckled. She left him to his drama and went to make her call.
In the guest room, Jordan sat on the edge of the king-size bed and pulled the phone from her pocket. She’d already activated it – nothing left to do but put in Quinn’s number and press send.
Please don’t let this be the catalyst that brings us all down.
Before she could change her mind, Jordan quickly dialed her brother’s number and sent the call. After a brief pause, the phone began to ring.
Chapter Twenty
Jordan
After the fourth ring, she began to fidget. He wasn’t going to answer. Jordan pressed the phone to her ear and willed Quinn to pick up at the other end.
“Hello?”
She almost cheered…until she realized it wasn’t her brother’s voice coming through the speaker.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
She knew that voice – would recognize it anywhere.
Gabe.
Quinn was being watched.
Though he’d turned his back on their family, Jordan never thought her Guardian would actively participate in hunting her down. All these months, she’d almost convinced herself he didn’t have a choice when he left them high and dry. Michael was top brass. He gave the orders. And yet, Gabe was manning Quinn’s phone – the bastard. She wanted to scream.
Refracted (The Celadon Circle Book 2) Page 18