There were men in this world who thought “I love you” were disposable words, empty of all meaning, using them to their advantage to get a girl in bed. Then as soon as they’d had their fill they up and left the poor girl with a broken heart and the horrible feeling of being used.
Of course Carm wanted to hear those words. Have them whispered in her ear on a moonlit night. But she knew words were cheap. Actions talked. If a woman was watching with open eyes she’d see how a man felt about her through the way he treated her, the way he looked at her, and through the things he didn’t say.
That’s where she’d finally concluded that Marek’s feelings for her ran deeper than his desire for her. By his actions he’d given himself away. The concern he’d truly felt for her and they way he’d held her at his mother’s house after the break-in was one example. His romantic dinner in the gazebo was another. A man didn’t make a meal like that and go to the trouble of setting such a scene just to get laid. Well, maybe some did—which was pathetic that they had to stoop so low—but Marek wasn’t one of them.
Granted she didn’t have many facts on him, but Carm was fairly certain she had a good grasp of his character. Before her mom had passed away she used to tell her and Kate, “If you want to know a man’s true character and how he’ll really treat you, watch closely at how he treats his mother.” And Marek loved his mother very much. Not in an Oedipal sort of way, or a mama’s-boy-let-go-of-the-apron-strings way. Carm had observed with eagle eyes their exchanges and had been satisfied at what she saw. Simply a healthy mother-son relationship.
There’d been this one guy she’d dated about a year back that was the poster child for mama’s boy syndrome. It took only three dates for her to pull up anchor and bail out of that ship. On their last date he’d taken her out for the typical dinner and a movie, then had driven back to his place. Where she’d discovered that he still lived with his mother. The man was thirty-two, for crying out loud. It had been sick the way he’d changed before her very eyes and had practically ignored her for his mother.
That experience had been enough to put Carm off men for a while. And had only solidified her belief that there were more men out there like Benny the Sicko than good, intelligent, mentally healthy ones.
She’d finally regained her enthusiasm to try dating again sometime after the first of the year and had gone on a few dates, but nothing memorable. That’s the thing, most of the men she found just weren’t all that memorable. And there was nothing wrong with her. It was only that most of the good ones had already been snatched up.
Since it was summer break and Carm didn’t have to teach again until September, she’d contemplated taking a trip to Denver. One of her closest friends had recently moved there and swore to Carm that there was a wealth of good-looking, available, worthy men there. Since she missed Allison, loved the mountains and outdoor activities like biking and hiking she thought it might be worth a shot.
But Kate had put her on a plane to the Caribbean instead, where she’d got drugged and drunk and married a man that was turning out to be the man of her dreams. Not the most conventional method of finding a mate, granted. Not the smartest either. But it sure beat the same ol’ merry-go-round boring dating methods she’d been participating in back home.
It was all a crap shoot anyway. Benny had looked like a decent, intelligent man. Hell, he’d been a financial advisor. Wore well made suits, had the typical white-collar hair cut, and drove an Audi. He also kissed his mother on the lips and called her “Mommy”. Oh, ick. That had been painful to witness and it still made her skin crawl.
Oh, and Kate’s ex-husband Mark had been straight-laced, gorgeous, Ivy League educated, and from a family of old money. And he’d turned out to be a gigantic a-hole with a closest full of dirty skeletons.
Which only pushed Carm to deduce that the more normal, the more conforming a guy appeared, the more abnormal and screwed up he was inside. Logical conclusion given her reference material.
And that brought Carm’s thoughts full swing back to Marek. He certainly didn’t look conventional and he hated wearing suits. She’d noticed that by the uncomfortable way he’d tugged at his collar and unbuttoned it the minute they’d stepped outside on the patio. It had taken him no time to undo the top three buttons and roll up his sleeves to his elbows.
His hair was perpetually half wild, with the solid blond curls contrasting sharply with the deeper brown roots. His ethnicity was such a jumbled bag that his look was unique and exotic. Super sexy too.
The way he walked and the way he talked was both casual and a bit raw. He wasn’t always polite--could be damned rude and crude in fact. And the glimpses he’d given her of his past were anything but pristine.
And it relieved the heck out of her.
His flaws, his rugged edges--and the fact he didn’t even try to hide it--made him damned near perfect to her. Marek made no excuse for who he was and didn’t give a damn what others thought. His confidence and acceptance of himself was plain for anyone to see. He was who he was. It was obvious he didn’t give a damn about the fact he came from such a mixed background. Maybe a little that he was illegitimate, but not that he was mixed race.
He was human, imperfect and oft times too blunt. He was shrewd, intelligent, and compassionate. He was also protective, with a sense of fair play and honor. And Carm found herself precariously close to falling in love with him.
A tiny, high pitched meow startled Carm out of her musing. Jumping like a criminal caught in the act, she spun around with her heart lodged in her throat. The towel she’d wrapped around her wet hair came loose and draped over her eye. Pushing it away, Carm held the bath towel around her with her other hand clutching the flower and huffed.
Marek’s cat Sunny had pushed her way through the open crack in the bedroom door and was sauntering her way toward Carm, her orange furry tail twitching. Carm let out a sigh and laughed at the portly cat and her swinging belly.
When the orange tabby meowed again Carm sat the Plumeria flower on the bed and bent down to give her a good scratch behind her ears. Sunny’s eyes squinted shut and her round little head pushed into Carm’s hands. Her purring began to resemble the sound of a small motor.
When she stopped scratching and removed her hand Sunny almost fell over before righting herself. The silly cat had no dignity, no dignity at all. Laughing at the overweight tabby, Carm stood up and quickly made her way to the bathroom where the clothes Marek’s mother had purchased for her hung.
She’d given Maria money, too upset to go herself, and Carm surveyed the resulting items before choosing one to wear. A meager selection, with two dresses (one of which she wore yesterday) a skirt, a shirt and a tank top, and a pair of white cotton shorts. Carm figured she’d be doing a lot of laundry if she didn’t get off the island soon—or she’d break her tiny bank account buying clothing.
Sighing with dismay over the plain white cotton bra and matching white bikini cut panties with dainty butterflies on them (Marek’s sister Sophia had proudly stated she’d picked those out “cuz dem were so priddy”) Carm pulled them on. Wiggling into the new bra until she’d adjusted her boobs in place, Carm stood with her feet on the cool tile floor and made her selection.
The letter and small mound of notebooks and whatnot on the bed pulled at her like a lightning bug to a lantern. Her curiosity to see what he’d given her made her selection process short and to the point. Oh, she’d been mad at him for leaving, no doubt about it but he’d effectively doused that fire with the flower on her pillow.
It made her stomach flutter just thinking about it and made her grin like a teenager at her first prom. Carm had quite a bit of dating experience but couldn’t recall ever feeling so jittery and euphoric over receiving flowers from a guy before. But, then again, most of the flowers she’d been given were carnations or roses from the local Fred Meyer. Marek was original enough to find a beautiful flower from his yard, something untraditional and exotic. Much like him.
Quickly pulling o
n the white cotton shorts that hit high on her thighs and the aqua scoopnecked tank top, Carm grabbed her brush and practically ran back to the bed. Making short work of brushing her shoulder length blunt cut, Carm picked up the flower and tucked it behind her ear. Dropping to the bed and tucking one leg underneath her Carm reached for the note on top of the books first and unfolded it.
Morning Sunshine,
I’m down on St. Kitts today with business
and will be back by nightfall. You can yell at me
then for leaving you. This should keep you company
until then, sugar.
Miss me,
Marek
This should keep you company. . . what did he mean by that? Carm sat down the note with his bold, messy scrawl and picked up what looked like a photo album. Confused and outrageously curious Carm opened the hard dark blue cover and grinned.
It was definitely a photo album.
The front page held a large photo of Marek as a baby, his hair curling in adorable ringlets around his head. He couldn’t have been more than four months old in the picture. Naked and sprawled on a blanket, his green eyes big and round, the baby held up his head and grinned toothlessly at the camera.
Carm’s heart stood up shakily in her chest and flopped over. It gave up the fight then and there and fell over the edge, landing smack in the middle of love. She was mildly surprised that she didn’t collapse from the strength of emotion that tore through her.
Carm had finally gone and done it. After countless dates with losers and men who only wanted a piece of ass. After countless hours wondering if there was ever going to be a man who had could claim her heart. A man worthy of her love and commitment and all she had to offer. After searching and failing time after time, she’d finally found a man to claim her heart.
And he’d done it with baby pictures.
Warmth spread down her cheeks and Carm touched her face with a hand only to feel hot tears sliding down. She wasn’t even aware that she’d started crying. Wiping them away with her fingertips, Carm grinned through her tears and let out a laugh full of joy.
Love poured through her like warm whisky as Carm turned the pages. Before her eyes she watched Marek grow from a beautiful infant to a gangly boy with missing teeth and a mischievous glint in his eye. Then the gangly boy turned into a long limbed teenager. And the mischievous glint in his green eyes changed from innocent into something far more dangerous.
A picture caught her attention and Carm studied it. He must have been around sixteen or so because he had the ring of dolphins tattooed below his navel. Wearing only a pair of swim trunks, his young muscles already defined, his shoulders hinting at the strength they’d soon possess, Marek stared hard at the camera. He was standing on the beach leaning against a surfboard with his hair long and tangled around his shoulders. What captured her were the seriousness of his face and the hardness of his gaze. He looked so much older than his years, his eyes betraying such weariness.
Carm’s heart ached for the boy in the picture. It was hard for her to equate the angry boy with the man she knew now. The Marek she new now had his moments, but there wasn’t that ever present vibe of anger emanating from him like he had in the picture. What happened to make him change? Or was in nothing more than the surliness of the teen years?
Flipping through the rest of the photos Carm grinned at a picture of him at what was obviously a college graduation. His long robe and hat with the golden tassle did nothing to take away from his potent sexuality. His green eyes sparkled into the camera and his arm was slung over his mother’s shoulders. Maria beamed up at her son, pride plastered across her face.
Carm hadn’t even known he’d gone to college. See, it was the little things, the little pieces of the puzzle that she wanted to know. And he understood that.
Marek knew she needed those small pieces, those little tidbits of knowledge about him. He’d reached out to her, offered her a look into his past, a glimpse into who he was. Marek was smart enough and kind enough to realize she needed that security. No wonder she’d fallen in love with him.
Carm breathed in a shaky breath and let it out slowly. Closing the photo album and setting it back on the bed Carm tucked her hair behind her ear and picked up a ringed notebook.
Her heart practically soared right out of her chest at what was contained inside. Marek had made her a timeline of his life with pertinent events and facts, as well as a few comments.
Carm greedily scanned the information and slowed as she came to his teen years. She wanted to find out if he was willing to fill her in on his troubled years, or not. The graduation picture proved he’d pulled out of it, but she wanted to know how and why.
He was an honest man. Carm had known that before, but as she read about his years working as a runner delivering packages and information for the head of the island’s underbelly and his days picking pockets and stealing from the rich, she gained knew appreciation for him.
He’d done it all for his family. It was painfully obvious his father had ignored Marek and Maria, had wanted nothing to do with them. He had left Maria alone, young and uneducated, to raise his child. Marek had done what he had to in order to provide for them both.
Questions raced through her mind as she continued reading through those years. Why had his father abandoned them and then left him his business when he died? How had he lived on the same island as them, watched them, and let them barely scrape by?
Most of all, how did Marek feel about it?
Carm hoped that since he’d opened up to her with this information that he would talk to her about his feelings. She wanted to understand him. And she wanted to soothe any hurts he might still have.
Her brows lifted in surprise when she read about him getting caught when he tried to pick the pocket of a tourist who turned out to be a detective from Miami. Luckily his step-father had interceded on his behalf and Marek had never been arrested.
But, he had been deported. Stanley had married Maria a few months prior to that incident and still had his position working for UNC Wilmington. He pulled some strings, used his tenior and employee status to get Marek accepted. Steven and Maria had felt it was best to get him away from his associations.
Apparently it had worked because he’d gone on to transfer to Bowdoin College and graduate top of his class. As Marek put it in his little side note “I got a bee up my ass and figured out what to do with it.”
Carm’s mouth dropped open when she discovered he’d spent a few years in New York City working as a stock trader. He made a bundle, burned out, and came back to the island with a boatload of cash and his self-worth firmly intact. Or as he’d put it “I left a troubled child and came back a man of the world, cheri.”
From a troubled youth to a very well educated, very successful businessman. Carm could hardly believe what she read. But it made sense. It explained the veneer of polish and the rugged street attitude that lay just beneath it.
It explained almost everything. Even how he’d learned to be ruthless and methodical in business. It all tied together, finally. And gave her a whole new level of respect for him.
Carm sat down the notebook and stood up. She ran her hands through her hair only to find it completely dry. Had she been sitting there that long?
Her stomach growled telling her she’d missed breakfast. Her mind grasped at all the information that Marek had given her and stuck on one thing. A man didn’t divulge that kind of information to just anyone, did he? Not just to get a woman into bed. No, that was too much work and it gave away way too much information.
So if it wasn’t that, wasn’t about getting down her pants, then what was it?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Carm looked at the clock on the dashboard as she made her way around the island to Road Town. It had been pretty scary there for a bit while she’d learned how to drive a stick-shift on the wrong side of the road. To keep herself from panicking she’d flipped on the radio and cranked up the volume. Marek had a cd in and Carm ha
d laughed when she heard AC/DC screaming through the speakers.
She wouldn’t have taken him for a hard rock man, but sang along with “Hells Bells” as she wobbled her way around the turns and rode the clutch like it was glued to the bottom of her foot. If she didn’t burn the thing out by the time she hit the Green Island Inn she’d be amazed. What happened to good old automatic transmitions anyway? Or was it a man thing? Driving a stick-shift in the car and owning a stick and driving it in the sack and all that hoopla. Maybe it was some sort of guy parallel she wasn’t aware of.
Carm sang her way through “Back In Black” as she rounded the western tip of Tortola, the sun bouncing brilliantly off the turquoise ocean. A few white yachts bobbed at the small harbor and Carm watched a local fishmerman climb out of his small boat with the day’s catch.
“You Shook Me All Night Long” came on just as she entered the outskirts of town. Grooving along with Brian Johnson’s eerie voice, Carm tapped her thumbs on the steering wheel and bobbed her head along. Passing a pair of young boys riding their bikes, Carm waved and grinned. She laughed out loud when one of the boys blew her a kiss in return. Her glasses slipped down her nose and she pushed them back into place. Turning her attention back to the road Carm flipped her messy ponytail back over her shoulder and slowed down.
It was a gorgeous day on the island. Mid-eighties and balmy with a slight cooling breeze wafting in off the ocean. Maybe it was her giddy heart and newfound love that made everything seem to sparkle so fantastically, but she doubted it. The light of the island was unmistakable.
There was just something about the way the sun glinted across the water and hit the deep green foliage. There was magic in the way the palms waved in the gentle breeze as they towered over the ground. There was something special in the way the lush foliage grew thick and tangled.
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