Must have hit a nerve. Look at how he’s contemplating what to say. Probably wondering how much he can tell without freaking me out.
“I’ve told you about my past, Carmen. You know I did things, and was in an environment that was less than wholesome. Let’s just say that I’ve seen this happen to people on more than one occasion.” Marek finished, his tone brooking no questions.
A thought occurred to her. “Were you ever involved in the vandalizing and thieving? I saw that wince, Marek Stokes. You were, weren’t you?” Carm demanded as she sat up straighter, dislodging a protesting Sunny.
Marek scrubbed a hand over his face and pressed two fingers over the bridge of his nose. He sighed and dropped his hand, looked Carm straight in the eye. “Yes, Carmen. I was. It was a long time ago. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, alright? I was a stupid, troubled kid. Let’s leave it at that.”
Which lead Carm to another thought. “Why were you so troubled, Marek? What happened to make the young boy I saw in those pictures turn to such a lifestyle?”
Oh, I’ve definitely struck a nerve. Look how tense he is now. Before he could shrug her off and stand up, Carm reached out a hand with a pleading look in her eyes, “Please, Marek. I want to understand. I need to know what it was like for you.”
Sparks lit in his pale green eyes and he scoffed, “Why, sugar? So you can dissect my every motive? Rationalize it away? Maybe if my mother did something horrible then it would explain my behavior. Oui? Is that it?”
Carm knew she was on to something. And like a hound dog hot on a scent she kept at him. “Marek, please. Is it because of your father? You’ve never mentioned anything about him. Did he do something?”
With a vivious curse Marek was off the couch and stalking out of the room. Without saying a word he’d answered Carm’s question, just by his sudden angry response. Though her heart beat a rapid tattoo in her chest, Carm kept her voice calm and cool as she said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed at you.”
Marek stopped and spun on his heels to face Carm and demanded, “You want to know what it was like for me? I’ll tell you. I grew up the bastard son of a British millionaire, Carmen. You’d think that would count for something, oui?” He began walking back and stopped directly in front of her, forcing her to tip her head back. “It didn’t. My mother was left alone at seventeen to raise me, only her skill with pottery and jewelry the means to provide for us. And it didn’t provide much, sweetheart. While my father was living the life of luxury up on the ridge in a mansion, my mother and I were scraping by in a one room shack.”
“I’m sorry, Marek.” Carm whispered, entranced by the sudden fire in his eyes.
Marek began pacing. Long angry strides propelled him across the floor and back. “There were many times that my mother went hungry just so I could eat. Often there wasn’t enough food for us both. And there was never help from the man whose child she had birthed.”
Her heart broke for him as pain crept into his voice, mixing with the anger. She couldn’t imagine how it must have been for him. Her father had both loved her and protected her.
She was about to open her mouth to speak when Marek said, “You have no idea what that man did to my mother, Carmen. She was so young and innocent and she loved him with everything she had. Gave him her very soul. And he spit on it like it was nothing. Loving him had very nearly destroyed her, cheri.”
Uh-oh. Oh, no. Shit. Warning bells started ringing a symphony in her head as Carm watched Marek stride across the room, his face contorted in agony and rage. Setting Sunny on the couch Carm stood and asked, “Is that why you don’t want to love me, Marek? You think loving me will destroy you? That I’ll take everything you have to offer and throw it in your face? That’s offensive and insulting.”
Eyes flashed citrine as Marek swung past her. “Sorry, sugar. It’s the truth.”
Anger began a slow burn in her gut at his bitter words. Carm was not going to allow him to compare what they’ve got with what happened to his parents. “It is most definitely not the truth, Marek. I’m sorry for you that you believe such crap. Just look at your mother now and you’d know what you speak of is ridiculous. She’s very happy with Steven, you know that.” Carm glared at Marek as he skulked by. “And I’ll have you know my parents married when they were both eighteen and were happily married for twenty-five years. It all comes down to character, Marek. And your father was sorely lacking in it.”
The room stilled as Marek came to a stop in front of her, his size and anger almost enough to overwhelm her. An ugly smile slashed across his face but didn’t reach his eyes. “Exactly, cupcake. Now you’re catching on.”
Oh, she didn’t like the sound of that. Foreboding stole over her as she stared at the awful grin on his face and the wild look in his eye. Something was very, very wrong.
Squinting her eyes in speculation Carm probed, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
With an ill-tempered shrug Marek began pacing again. “Depends on what you’re thinking, sugar. Wanna play twenty questions?”
Not especially. Nice try, bucko. “Another time, Marek.”
“Too bad. I’ve got some great questions.”
I’ll bet you do. Ignoring his boast, Carm continued, “I think it sounds like you’re saying you are like your father. That’s what I’m thinking.”
This time only one shoulder lifted in a surly shrug. “It’s in the genes, sugar. Blood’s blood. Can’t change it, can’t really even fight it.”
Suddenly everything became clear. The fuzzy focus was removed and her world became razor sharp with clarity. Marek wasn’t afraid to fall in love for himself. He was afraid for whomever he fell in love with. He was terrified that somewhere down the road he would end up doing the same exact thing his father had. Take someone’s love and devotion and turn away from her. Leave her alone and broken.
Carm didn’t know whether to hug him and comfort him or kick him really, really hard in the shins. Men sometimes could be so damned dense in their heroicsm. No doubt he thought to save her soul from destruction or some damn thing. Ugh, foolish man. Everybody runs the risk of a broken heart. Everyone. No one’s immune.
Carm folded her arms over her full cleavage and demanded, “So you think that hiding from love is the only way to make sure you never hurt someone. The only way you’ll avoid ever being like your father.”
Marek spun around and snarled, “You want to know what kind of person he was, Carmen? What kind of genetic traits I inherited? Well, I’ll tell you.” Finding a rattan chair he slumped into it and stared hard at her, his eyes lethal and probing. “When I was eleven I went to see him. I’d never met him before, but everyone on the island knew where he lived. All I had to do was ask around at church to find out. Merde, the man was practically a local celebrity with his big house and successful business. One of the old ladies at church told me how to get there thinking I just wanted to know where it was, not go talk to him. She went on and on about how sophisticated and elegant he was. How proper and high class.”
Marek paused to lean forward and place his elbows on his knees. Carm was afraid to hear what happened, but listened when he went on.
“My mother didn’t talk about him to me, but I’d heard things around the island. He was an Oxford graduate from London. A decendant of a very wealthy British family with a fortune of his own. He was all of that, Carmen, and he couldn’t spare a dime to make certain his illegitimate child and his mother had enough to eat.” Shaking his head at the memory, Marek cleared his throat and looked back at Carm. “I was tired of hearing my mother cry at night. Tired of him hurting her even though he was never there. And I wanted my father to see me. See what he’d made. But, I also wanted his acceptance, cheri. I wanted his love so desperately. I thought if I could make myself look like the proper British son of a wealthy businessman he might acknowledge me, maybe even love me.”
Tears welled in her eyes at the pain he tried to hide. But it was there in his voice and in his cle
ar green eyes. How could anyone turn from their own child like that?
What he said next broke her heart. “I put on my best suit. I’d hit a growth spurt and it was too short in the pants and sleeves, but I wanted to look the best I could the first time I met my father. Then I took some of my mother’s hair products and tried to plaster my hair down against my head like I’d seen other white British kids do. I didn’t want my islander to show; didn’t want to give him anything to dislike.” Dangling his hands between his knees Marek went on. “So I stole some of my mother’s money and hired a taxi to take me to his place high up on the ridge. It was amazing up there. The maid took me out to the back patio to see him. You know what he did, Carmen?”
Carm shook her head, tears swimming unshed in her eyes. She didn’t want to know what he’d said and done to that poor little boy. “I don’t want to know, Marek.”
That ugly grin was back as Marek mocked, “Of course you don’t, sugar. It might alter your rose-colored view of things. Too bad. You asked, now you’re going to know it all. He was sunbathing on the deck when I went out to see him. I could’t believe he was my father. He was so dapper with his blue eyes, grey hair and upper-crust accent. We had the same nose, cheri. I remember that and I remember thinking that would make him accept me. But, he took one look at me with my flattened down curly hair and my darker skin and dismissed me. Told me, and I quote, ‘No half-breed island nigger will ever be a son of mine’. Before he walked away he said I’d never amount to a thing. That all I’d ever be was an ignorant half-breed nothing that was better off dead than wasting good air. Then he left me. Just like he left my mother.”
Like a floodgate flung wide open, tears poured down Carm’s cheeks. Marek didn’t know the pain that slashed across his face when he spoke of that time. Nothing had prepared her for the cruel words. How could a man speak to his son that way; say those horrible things?
Just then Marek lifted his eyes and demanded, “I don’t want your pity, Carmen. Save it for someone else. I told you that so you’d know where I come from, not so you would feel sorry for me.”
“But—“
“But nothing, Carmen. I know who I am. I am a half-breed islander who came from nothing. And I’m proud of it. But he was wrong about the rest. I became something, sugar. And it ate him alive when I came back to this island a rich, educated man.”
That was why he was a troubled teen. Hell, I would be too if my father had said those things to me. And also why he’d made his fortune on the stock exchange and come home instead of living it up in the states.
Admiration for him shook her to the core. Marek had overcome so many obstacles in his life. And who he’d become took her breath away. He wasn’t just a man to love, but he was a man to admire and respect as well. And he amazed her.
Marek watched as emotions played across Carm’s face. He hadn’t meant to tell her. Had never wanted to tell anyone about that dark day. But, he’d had no choice. The moment he’d fallen in love with her had taken that away. Carm needed to understand what kind of man he is capable of being.
Old anger knawed at his gut as he stared across the living room to Carm. Part of him wanted to comfort her, offer her empty promises that he would never do a thing like that to her. Part of him wanted to declare his love. But he couldn’t. Not now.
Her voice came over the silence, soft and coaxing. “How did you inherit Blue Mist then? Why did he leave it to you?”
That was the hell of it. The old bastard had left almost everything to him. And his mother. “He had an attack of conscience, sugar. News travels fast on Tortola and as he sat up on his hill dying from cancer he heard what a success I had become. How well I’d done for myself. Believe me; it shocked the hell out of me when I heard.”
Merde, he still remembered the day he’d been told he’d inherited a multi-million dollar company. The old man had never tried to contact him while he was alive, just left a company and a note. In the note he’d left a short apology and a “This won’t make up for what I did, but it’s all I have to offer you now.”
At first he’d refused the company, too pissed off at the man to want any thing from him. But his mother had straightened him out on that. Well, his mother and Landon. They both basically asked when he’d become a fool. They’d made him realize he had the opportunity to do something far and above what the old man had. To put his mark on the world.
Marek stood and said, “He left my mother enough money to buy the Green Island Inn and never had to go hungry again. I figured I’d take something of his and make it better than he had. And I’m doing that, Carm. I have the ingenuity the old man didn’t have. My new fair trade certified coffees are some of the best in the world. I’m creating one of the most delectable high end shade grown organic coffees on the market. I’m making Blue Mist my own, on my own terms, Carmen.”
She stood up and walked to him, her beautiful eyes full of unshed tears. Her smell encircled him, pulled him close, as she placed her hands on his face. Cupping his cheeks in her cool palms Carm looked at him and whispered, “I’m proud of you, Marek Stokes. Proud of who you are. I admire what you’ve done.”
His heart seized up and lodged in his chest. He couldn’t breathe around the sudden tightness. To hear her say such things. She couldn’t know what that meant to him. To have the woman he loves say she is proud of him. It nearly buckled his knees.
Suddenly the room was too confined. His chest was burning from the breath he was holding and Marek let it out on a huff. He needed some room to think.
Placing his hands on top of Carm’s he stepped back and smiled. A real smile that reached his eyes this time. “Thank you, cheri. I need some air, so I’m going outside for a while. You’d better go up to bed.”
Carm’s brow wrinkled as she protested, “Marek, there’s more that we need to discuss.”
Taking another step back, Marek smirked and replied, “Like what, sweetheart? I’ve told you everything.”
Her hair shimmered pale gold under the lights as she shook her head. “Not everything, Marek. And we need talk about the fact that I’m in love with you and I’m supposed to leave here in a few days.”
Those words shot out and climbed inside him, buried deep in his heart. A tingling sensation shimmied over his body, like hot little pinpricks.
Carmen was in love with him.
Though he’d suspected it, hearing her say the words did all sorts of amazing things to him. Conflicting things. He felt like whooping for joy and at the same time wanted to deny it. For her sake. Doesn’t she realize she’s risking a broken heart? How could he live with himself if he to her what his father did to his mother?
Answers eluded him. None would be found tonight.
Carm waited silently for his reaction, a look of defiance and challenge on her face. Marek knew she was ready for battle. The woman didn’t expect him to take the news easily. She had a backbone of steel and determination. Man he loved that about her.
Most any other time he would have loved to goad her, but with her love openly acknowledged and resting warm in his heart he needed time to think.
Carm squared her shoulders and prepared to speak. To cut her off Marek stepped forward and ran his hands over her satiny hair and looked in her blue eyes bright with emotion. “I know you are, Carm. I knew it the first time you slept with me. Now go upstairs and get some sleep.” Then he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
He felt her jerk like he’d slapped her and went rigid in his arms. That backbone of hers had just snapped tightly in place. Hiding a grin Marek stepped back and admired the fire that leapt in her eyes. Oh, she was a joy to watch. No wonder he was in love with her.
“Is that it? Is that all you’re going to say? I tell you I’m in love with you and you tell me to get some sleep?” Carm glared at him and started to brush by. “You’re an asshole, Marek.”
That’s my girl. Damn, but I love you. To give her something to stew over Marek flashed her a wicked grin as she stomped by and reac
hed out a hand. Giving her butt a nice pat Marek drawled, “I try, sugar. I really try.” When she slapped his hand away and offered a crude suggestion laughter escaped and echoed off the walls.
His laughter followed her curses all the way upstairs.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Carm was still steaming when she went downstairs the following morning. How dare he pat her on the butt and send her to bed like a child? It’s not like she told him she was in love with him or anything.
She pushed her way through the French doors into the kitchen, her mind still replaying the scene from last night, and came to an abrupt halt. Marek stood at the counter with his back to her gazing out the kitchen window. Carm’s heart slammed brutally in her chest at the sight of him.
Ok, so he did come to my room late last night to make up. But I’m still pissed. Damn it, there ought to be a law against a man looking that good. Carm’s eyes traveled down his body, taking in his khaki linen button-up shirt and cream lightweight trousers. He’d rolled the hem of his trousers again, revealing the sleek length of his tan calves and bare feet.
Carm was suddenly very aware that she wore nothing more than one of his old t-shirts. Very conducive clothing to hopping up on the counter and having her way with him.
Shaking off the thought—she was still made, after all, and a girl had to have some discipline—Carm raked her hands through her tossled hair and cleared her throat. The tile floor was a cool relief for her feet as she stepped into the sun lit kitchen.
Marek whipped his head around and locked eyes with her. For a tense moment his eyes held hers, intense and unwavering. Carm could feel her blood pressure hike dangerously at the way he stared at her. Made her skin prickle with awareness as well.
Then the moment was lost and Marek tilted his mouth in a relaxed smile. “Sleep well, Carm?”
Temptation Island Page 23