by Fiona Brand
The flatness of Lucas’s voice startled her. Lucas had always been exciting and difficult to pin down, but he had also been funny and unexpectedly tender. This was the first time she had ever seen this side of him. “Not yet. I have a…headache, I need some air.” Which was no lie, because the headache was there, throbbing steadily at her temples.
She pretended to be absorbed by the spectacular view of the crystal-clear night and the vast expanse of sea gleaming like polished bronze beneath the moon. Just off the coast of Medinos, the island of Ambrus loomed, tonight seemingly almost close enough to touch. One of the more substantial islands in the Medinos group, Ambrus was intimately familiar to her because her family had once owned a chunk of it.
“How did you know these are my rooms?”
She spun, shocked at Lucas’s closeness and what he’d just said. “I didn’t. I was looking for a bathroom. I must have taken a wrong turn.”
The coolness of his glance informed her that he didn’t quite believe her. Any idea that Lucas would tell her that he had made a mistake and that he desperately wanted her back died a quick death.
A throb of grief hit her at the animosity that seemed to be growing by the second and she pulled herself up sharply. She had run the gamut of shock and anger. She was not going to wallow in self-pity.
It was clear Lucas wasn’t going to leave until she did, so she picked up her bag and started toward the door.
Instead of moving aside, Lucas moved to block her path. “I’m sorry you found out this way. I did try to meet with you before dinner.”
Her heart suddenly pounding off the register, she stared rigidly at his shoulder. “You could have told me when I called to cancel and given me some time. Even a text would have helped.”
His dark brows jerked together. “I’m not in the habit of breaking off relationships over the phone or by text. I wanted to tell you face-to-face.”
Her jaw tightened. It didn’t help that his gaze was direct, that he was clearly intent on softening the blow. The last thing she wanted from Lucas was pity. “Did Lilah fly in with you?”
“She arrived this afternoon.”
Relief made her feel faintly unsteady. So, Lilah hadn’t been with Lucas in the limousine.
As insignificant as that detail was, it mattered, because when she had seen the limousine she had been crazily, sappily fantasizing about Lucas and the life they could now share. Although she should have known he hadn’t arrived with Lilah, because there hadn’t been any media reports that he had arrived at the airport with a female companion.
Lucas’s gaze connected with hers. “Before you go back inside, I need to know if you intend to go to the press with a story about our affair.”
Affair.
Her chin jerked up. For two years she had considered they had been involved in a relationship. “I’m here for Sienna’s wedding. It’s her day, and I don’t intend to spoil it.”
“Good. Because if you try to force my hand by going public with this, take it from me, I’m not playing.”
Comprehension hit. She had been so absorbed with the publicity for Ambrosi’s latest collection and the crazy rush to organize Sienna’s wedding that she had barely had time to sleep, let alone think. When Sienna married Constantine, Carla would be inextricably bound to the Atraeus family. The Atraeus family were traditionalists. If it were discovered that she and Lucas had been seeing each other secretly for two years, he would come under intense pressure from his family to marry her.
Now the comment about her looking for his rooms made sense.
What better way to force a commitment than to arrange for them both to be found together in his rooms at the castello? Anger and a burning sense of shame that he should think she would stoop that low sliced through her. “I hadn’t considered that angle.”
Why would she when she had assumed Lucas wanted her?
He ignored her statement. “If it’s marriage you want, you won’t get it by pressuring me.”
Which meant he really had thought about the different ways she could force him to the altar. She took a deep breath against a sharp spasm of hurt. “At what point did I ever say I was after marriage?”
His gaze bored into hers, as fierce and obdurate as the dark stone from which the fortress was built. “Then we have an understanding?”
“Oh, I think so.” She forced a bright smile. “I wouldn’t marry you if you tied me up and dragged me down the aisle. Tell me,” she said before she could gag her mouth and instruct her brain to never utter anything that would inform Lucas just how weak and vulnerable she really was. “Did you ever come close to loving me?”
He went still. “What we had wasn’t exactly about love.”
No. Silly her.
“There’s something else we need to talk about.”
“In that case, it’ll have to wait. Now I really do have a headache.” She fumbled in her clutch, searching for the painkillers she’d slipped in before she’d left the villa, just in case. In her haste the foil pack slipped out of her fingers and dropped to the terrace.
Lucas retrieved the pills before she could. “What are these?”
He held the foil pack out of her reach while he read the label. “Since when have you suffered from headaches?”
She snatched the pills from his grasp. “They’re a leftover from the virus I caught in Thailand. I don’t get them very often.”
She ripped the foil open and swallowed two pills dry, grimacing at the extra wave of bitterness in her mouth when one of the pills lodged in her throat. She badly needed a glass of water.
Lucas frowned. “I didn’t know you were still having problems.”
She shoved the foil pack back in her clutch. “But then you never bothered to ask.”
And the last thing she had wanted to do was let him know that she had been so stressed by the unresolved nature of their relationship that she had given herself an even worse stomach ulcer than she had started with two years ago.
After the growing distance between them in Thailand, she hadn’t wanted to further undermine their relationship or give him an excuse to break up with her. Keeping silent had been a constant strain because she had wanted the comfort of his presence, had needed him near, but now she was glad she hadn’t revealed how sick she really had been. It was one small corner of her life that he hadn’t invaded, one small batch of memories that didn’t contain him.
She felt like kicking herself for being so stupid over the past couple of months. If Lucas had wanted to be with her he would have arranged time together. Once, he had flown into Sydney with only a four-hour window before he’d had to fly out again. They had spent every available second of those four hours locked together in bed.
Cold settled in her stomach. In retrospect, their relationship had foundered in Thailand. Lucas hadn’t liked crossing the line into caring; he had simply wanted a pretty, adoring lover and uncomplicated sex.
Lucas was still blocking her path. “You’re pale and your eyes are dilated. I’ll take you home.”
“No.” She stepped neatly around him and made a beeline for the open door. Her heart sped up when she realized he was close behind her. “I can drive myself. The last thing I want is to spend any more time with you.”
“Too bad.” His hand curled around her upper arm, sending a hot, tingling shock straight to the pit of her stomach as he propelled her into the hall. “You’ve had a couple of glasses of wine, and now a strong painkiller. The last thing you should do is get behind the wheel of that little sports car.”
She shot him a coolly assessing look. “Or talk to the paparazzi at the gate.”
“Right now it’s the hairpin bends on the road back to the villa that worry me.”
Something snapped inside her at the calm, matter-of-fact tone of his voice, as if he was conducting damage control in one of his business takeovers. “What do you think I’m going to do, Lucas? Drive off one of your cliffs into the sea?”
Unexpectedly his grip loosened. Twisting free,
she grasped the handle of the door to the suite she had briefly checked out before, thinking it could be a bathroom. It was Lucas’s suite, apparently. Forbidden territory.
Flinging the door wide, she stepped inside. She was about to prove that at least one of Lucas’s fears was justified.
She was going to be her control-freak, ticked-off, stressed-out self for just a few minutes.
She was going to behave badly.
Four
The paralyzing fear that had gripped Lucas at the thought of Carla driving her sports car on Medinos’s narrow roads turned to frustration as she stepped inside his suite.
Grimly, he wondered what had happened to the dominance and control with which he had started the evening.
Across boardroom tables, he was aware that his very presence often inspired actual fear. His own people jumped to do his bidding.
Unfortunately, when it came to Carla Ambrosi, concepts like power, control and discipline crashed and burned.
He closed the door behind him. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Carla halted by an ebony cabinet that held a selection of bottles, a jug of ice water and a tray of glasses. “I need a drink.”
Glass clinked on glass, liquid splashed. His frustration deepened. Carla seldom drank and when she did it had always been in moderation. Tonight he knew she’d had champagne, then wine with dinner. He had kept a watch on her intake, specifically so he could intervene if he thought she was in danger of drinking too much then making a scene. He had been looking for an opportunity to speak to her alone when she had walked out halfway through dessert. Until now he had been certain she wasn’t drunk.
He reached her in two long strides and gripped her wrist. “How much have you had?”
Liquid splashed the front of her dress. He jerked his gaze away from the way the wet silk clung to the curve of her breasts.
Her gaze narrowed. A split second later cold liquid cascaded down his chest, soaking through to the skin.
Water, not alcohol.
Time seemed to slow, stop as he stared at her narrowed gaze, delicately molded cheekbones and firm jaw, the rapid pulse at her throat.
The thud of the glass hitting the thick kilim barely registered as she curled her fingers in the lapel of his jacket.
“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice was husky, the question automatic as he stared at her face.
“Conducting an experiment.”
Her arms slid around his neck; she lifted up onto her toes. Automatically, his head bent. The second his mouth touched hers he knew it was a mistake. Relief shuddered through him as her breasts flattened against his chest and the soft curve of her abdomen cradled his instant arousal.
His hands settled at her waist as he deepened the kiss. The soft, exotic perfume she wore rose up, beguiling him, and the fierce clamp of desire intensified. Two months. As intent as he had been on finishing with Carla, he didn’t know how he had stayed away.
No one else did this to him; no one came close. To say he made love with Carla didn’t cover the fierceness of his need or the undisciplined emotion that grabbed at him every time he weakened and allowed himself the “fix” of a small window of time in her bed.
Following the tragedy with Sophie, he had kept his liaisons clear-cut and controlled, as disciplined as his heavy work schedule and workout routines. He had been too shell-shocked to do anything else. Carla was the antithesis of the sophisticated, emotionally secure women he usually chose. Women who didn’t demand or do anything flamboyant or off-the-wall.
He dragged his mouth free, shrugged out of his jacket then sank back into the softness of her mouth. He felt her fingers dragging at the buttons of his shirt, the tactile pleasure of her palms sliding over his skin.
Long, drugging minutes passed as he simply kissed her, relearning her touch, her taste. When she moved restlessly against him, he smoothed his hands up over her back, knowing instinctively that if she was going to withdraw, this would be the moment.
Her gaze clashed with his and he logged her assent. It occurred to Lucas that if he had been a true gentleman, he would have eased away, slowed things down. Instead he gave into temptation, cupped her breasts through the flimsy silk of bodice and bra. She arched against him with a small cry. Heat jerked through him when he realized she had climaxed.
Every muscle taut, he swept her into his arms and carried her to the couch. Her arms wound around his neck as she pulled him down with her. At some point his shirt disappeared and Carla shimmied against him, lifting up the few centimeters he needed so he could peel away the flimsy scrap of silk and lace that served as underwear.
He felt her fingers tearing at the fastening of his trousers. In some distant part of his mind the fact that he didn’t have a condom registered. A split second later her hands closed around him and he ceased to think.
Desire shivered and burned through Carla as Lucas’s hands framed her hips. Still dazed by the unexpected power of her climax, she automatically tilted her hips, allowing him access. Shock reverberated through her when she registered that there was no condom.
She hadn’t thought; he hadn’t asked. In retrospect she hadn’t wanted to ask. She had been drowning in sensation, caught and held by the sudden powerful conviction that if she walked away from Lucas now, everything they had shared, everything they had been to each other would be lost. She would never touch him, kiss him, make love with him again, and that thought was acutely painful.
It was wrong, crazily wrong, on a whole lot of levels. Lucas had broken up with her. He had chosen someone else.
His gaze locked with hers and the steady, focused heat, so utterly familiar—as if she really was the only woman in the world for him—steadied her.
Emotion squeezed her chest as the shattering intensity gripped her again, linking her more intensely with Lucas. She should pull back, disengage. Making love did not compute, and especially not without a condom, but the concept of stopping now was growing progressively more blurred and distant.
She didn’t want distance. She loved making love with Lucas. She loved his scent, the satiny texture of skin, the masculine beauty of sleek, hard muscle. The tender way he touched her, kissed her, made love to her was indescribably singular and intimate. She had never made love with another man, and when they were together, for those moments, he was hers.
Sharp awareness flickered in his gaze. He muttered something in rapid, husky Medinian, an apology for his loss of control, and a wild sliver of hope made her tense. If Lucas had wanted her badly enough that he hadn’t been able to stop long enough to take care of protection, then there had to be a future for them.
With a raw groan he tangled his fingers in her hair, a glint of rueful humor charming her as he bent and softly kissed her. Something small and hurt inside her relaxed. She wound her arms around his neck, holding him tight against her and the hot night shivered and dissolved around them.
For long minutes Carla lay locked beneath Lucas on the couch. She registered the warm internal tingle of lovemaking. It had been two months since they had last been together, and she took a moment to wallow in the sheer pleasure of his heat and scent, the uncomplicated sensuality of his weight pressing her down.
She rubbed her palms down his back and felt his instant response.
Lucas’s head lifted up from its resting place on her shoulder. The abrupt wariness in his gaze reflected her own thoughts. They’d had unprotected sex once. Were they really going to repeat the mistake?
A sharp rap at the door completed the moment of separation.
“Wait,” Lucas said softly.
She felt the cool flutter as he draped her dress over her thighs. Feeling dazed and guilty, Carla clambered to her feet, snatched up her panties and her bag and found her shoes.
“The bathroom is the second on the left.”
Her head jerked up at the husky note in his voice, but Lucas’s expression was back to closed, his gaze neutral.
He was already dressed. With his
shirt buttoned, his jacket on, he looked smoothly powerful and unruffled, exactly as he had before they had made love. Somewhere inside her the sliver of hope that had flared to life when they had been making love died a sudden death.
Nothing had changed. How many times had she seen him distance himself from her in just that way when he had left her apartment, as if he had already separated himself from her emotionally?
As if what they had shared was already filed firmly in the past and she had no place in his everyday life.
The moment was chilling, a reality check that was long overdue. “Don’t worry, I’ll find it. I don’t want anyone to know I was here, either.” Her own voice was husky but steady. Despite the hurt she felt oddly distant and remote.
She stepped into the cool, tiled sanctuary of the bathroom and locked the door. After freshening up she set about fixing her makeup. A sharp rap on the door made her jerk, smearing her mascara.
“When you’re ready, I’ll take you home.”
“Five minutes. And I’ll take myself home.”
She stared at her reflection, her too pale skin, the curious blankness in her eyes as if, like a turtle retreating into its shell, the hurt inner part of her had already withdrawn. With automatic movements, she cleaned away the smear and reapplied the mascara.
When she stepped out of the bathroom the sitting room was empty. For the first time she noticed the fine antiques and jewel-bright rugs, the art that decorated the walls and which was lit by glowing pools of light.
Lucas stepped in from the terrace, through an elegant set of French doors.
She met his gaze squarely. “Who was at the door?”
“Lilah.”
Oh, good. Her life had just officially gone to hell in a handbasket. “Did she see me?”
“Unfortunately.”
Lucas’s choice of word finally succeeded in dissolving the curious blankness and suddenly she was fiercely angry. “What if I’m pregnant?”
A pulse worked in his jaw. “If you’re pregnant, that changes things—we’ll talk. Until you have confirmation, we forget this happened.”