“You realize you’re avoiding the real question, don’t you? You need to tell me why she fired you, Julia. Again, I can find out the truth from Travis but I’d rather hear it from you.”
She closed her eyes, having been afraid all along that he would insist on knowing this information and not at all eager to re-hash the trauma she’d suffered yet again. “Please, Nathan. It’s not something I really want to talk about, okay?”
“Too bad. If you got fired for the wrong reason, then as the co-owner of this company I damn well need to know about it. And if I’m not satisfied with the reason, I’ll insist that Travis release you.”
Julia gasped, her gaze flying up to his. “You’d really do that? My God, I know you don’t want to work with me, but you have no idea how hard it was for me to find a job, Nathan. I had to move back in with my parents for the past couple of months while I was looking for a new position. Please don’t take this away from me.”
His expression softened at her plea but he was still insistent. “Just tell me, Julia. How bad can it be? I mean, if it was something really bad like embezzlement I’m guessing your ex-boss would have pressed charges.’
She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t anything like that. It was – oh, God, this is really hard for me. I’ve tried to just forget about it.” To her horror, she felt tears begin to trickle hotly down her cheeks and she brushed them away impatiently.
Nathan’s expression turned to one of concern, almost alarm. “Jesus, what the hell happened? How bad could it have been to make you cry?”
Once again she refused to meet his eyes, staring down at the floor as she haltingly related the story about the night Philip had attacked her in the office. She kept the details to the bare minimum but Nathan heard enough of the sordid tale to push himself away from his desk and surge to his feet in a rage.
“What’s this fucker’s name?” he demanded as he began to pace back and forth behind his desk.
She was sobbing quietly by now, her whole body quivering as she wrapped her arms around her midsection. “Philip. I’m not sure of his last name. It’s Russian or Czech, something long and complicated. What difference does it make?”
“Because I’m about five minutes away from booking a flight to New York, finding this guy, and cutting his balls off,” Nathan said harshly. “How badly did he hurt you, Julia?”
She covered her face with her hands, trying vainly to stem the flow of her tears. “Nathan, please. I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s obviously very upsetting to have to relive that night again.”
He walked around the side of the desk to kneel in front of her, his hand cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing away her tears. “I’m sorry, baby. Sorry that I wasn’t there to prevent something like that from happening, to protect you, to kick that bastard’s ass into the Hudson River. Just answer this one last question, and then I promise we’ll never talk about it again.”
Her bottom lip quivered and he clasped her hands tightly in his as she shook her head. “God, this is hard. I still have nightmares sometimes.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “It’s okay, baby. You’re safe now. No one is going to hurt you again. Now just tell me what I want to know and the subject will stay closed after that.”
Julia took a deep breath before murmuring in a barely audible voice. “He – he split my lip. My jaw and cheekbones were bruised. One black eye. Three cracked ribs. Scratches and bruises in too many places to count. That’s about it.”
“So he never actually -“
“No.” She cut him off. “It never got that far. Vanessa interrupted him before anything could happen.”
Nathan made a harsh noise. “You don’t call getting beaten and broken anything? Jesus, I hope like hell the fucker is rotting in some jail cell right now.”
She shook her head. “No. I didn’t press charges. I just wanted to forget it ever happened and leave New York as soon as possible.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me, Julia? You just let him walk away without any consequences? And then let that bitch fire you because her boyfriend’s a rapist?”
Julia shuddered. “It was a living nightmare, Nathan. One I wanted to wake up from and forget as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to deal with police, attorneys, trials. Vanessa has piles of money, she would have hired a top lawyer for him and gotten the charges dismissed, and I would have had to go through all of that trauma for nothing. No, I made the decision to just walk away and I don’t regret it. Now, it’s time to stop talking about this. For good.”
He brushed her hair back behind her ear, gave a brief nod, and then stood. “All right, if that’s what you wish. We won’t discuss it again.” He took a seat behind his desk. “But what we do have to discuss is how in hell you and I are going to be able to work together given the circumstances. After all, I’d be a complete and total bastard at this point to force you out wouldn’t I?”
Her voice choked. “Oh, God. You’d really do that? Please, Nathan. I need this job more than you can even imagine. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep working here.”
“Relax, Julia. I’m not going to fire you. I did have thoughts of trying to find you a job at different firm here in town, but I doubt we could pull that off without having to tell Travis about what happened last September. And, not to borrow that ridiculous Las Vegas cliché, but whatever happened in New York definitely has to stay in New York. Have you discussed it with anyone?”
“Just my sister. But I never mentioned your name. And I didn’t tell her much, though being twins she always knows when something’s upsetting me.”
Nathan’s eyes widened. “You have a twin? Identical?” At her nod he shook his head in disbelief. “Christ, there are actually two women who look like you? That’s unbelievable. But to get back to what I was saying, you never mentioned any of this to Travis, did you?”
“No, of course not. And I don’t plan on discussing it with anyone else. I’m fully aware that you could get me fired very easily, Nathan, so I will definitely be a model of discretion,” she said quietly. “I pride myself on being a complete professional at work. You don’t have to worry about me ever acting inappropriately. Just please give me a chance to prove myself. I’m actually a very good designer and I’m thrilled to have such a fantastic opportunity like this one.”
“Let’s be perfectly clear here, Julia,” he stated firmly. “No discussion or reference to meeting in New York to anyone. Not even the slightest hint of flirting or impropriety between us. We are to have strictly – very strictly – a business only relationship. If you can agree to that, then I’m willing to give this a try on a trial basis. Otherwise, I’ll make some calls and try to find you another job close by.”
She shook her head.”No, that won’t be necessary, I assure you. I agree completely with everything you just said. It won’t be a problem to work together, I promise.” She glanced down at her clasped hands again. “If I’d had even the slightest suspicion that the Nate Atwood who Travis kept mentioning was actually the Nathan I’d met in New York, there’s no way I would have taken this job or even interviewed for it. I’m not here to make trouble for you, or make working conditions difficult. I’ll do whatever is necessary to be able to keep working here.”
“All right, then. Let’s hope that we can keep things professional.” He paused a moment before continuing on, somewhat awkwardly. “There’s just one more thing. This might be a little touchy but it has to be said. At some point in time – whether it’s here in the office or at an outside function – you’re likely to meet Cameron, my fiancée.”
Julia couldn’t help the little shudder that passed through her body. “Most likely, yes.”
“I’ve got to ask you. Please don’t say anything to her about what happened. I know I treated you badly, Julia, but none of that was her fault. Don’t take it out on her, okay?”
She stared at him in hurt disbelief. “You really think I could be that vindictive
? I guess we don’t know each other very well at all, do we? Don’t worry, Nathan. I won’t rat you out to your fiancée. After all, you’re just my boss now, aren’t you?”
He exhaled deeply. “Thank you, Julia. I know I deserve your anger but taking it out on Cameron won’t solve anything.”
She stood, fighting back a fresh onslaught of tears. “I’m not that sort of person, Nathan. Besides, doing something like that would only further ruin the memory of that night for me. And for me, at least, it was the most special night I’ve ever known.”
Nathan groaned. “God, Julia. Don’t -“
She held up a hand. “Don’t say anything more, okay? Right now it’s as though that night happened to two other people a long time ago. Let’s just leave it buried in the past. Now, if that’s all, I’d like to leave now.”
He nodded, unable to meet her gaze. “Yeah, that’s it. You can go.”
Julia felt the hot tears threatening to spill over again so she turned and left without another word, wondering if she was kidding herself that she could actually work with Nathan under these circumstances. She just knew that she didn’t have any other options but to at least give it a try, even if it meant having her heart broken all over again.
Nathan was practically shaking as Julia left his office, and headed immediately for the cabinet where he kept an assortment of liquor and glasses. He pulled out the bottle of twelve-year old Macallan and poured himself a healthy portion, not bothering with either ice or water. He tossed half of it down in one gulp, badly needing the fortification it would hopefully provide him. The last time he’d been this shook up had been on that damned plane ride home after having left a heartbroken Julia behind in New York.
He wanted to fling the heavy crystal tumbler against the wall and watch it shatter into tiny pieces as he tried to imagine how upset and terrified she must have been after almost getting raped in her own office. He slammed the glass down on his credenza, struggling for control as he recalled her tearful sobs and trembling hands while choking out the story of what had happened. And despite his promise to her that they wouldn’t speak of the incident again, all he really wanted was to book a flight back to New York, find this bastard and pummel him into a bleeding, broken mess. All he would need to do was call Travis’ friend Gerard – Julia’s old boss – and find out the last name of the fucker who’d hurt her so badly. It would be just that easy.
But then, as the whiskey began to have its desired effect, he started to calm down and think more rationally. He couldn’t call Gerard and ask him such a question without betraying his past with Julia, and he wasn’t naïve enough to believe that Gerard wouldn’t immediately turn around and share this information with Travis. And God knew his business partner already suspected something fishy was going on. Travis was a nosy bastard, always probing and prodding, and loved to gossip more than a little old lady. And given the animosity that existed between Travis and Cameron, there was no way in hell he could risk the knowledge that he and Julia had had a passionate fling getting out. Travis would find some way – discreet or not – to plant doubts in Cameron’s mind and then all hell would break loose.
‘Fuck it all,” he muttered, plopping down onto his desk chair and slumping against the high, padded back. ‘What a goddamned fucking mess. How in hell am I going to be able to work with her every day, especially when she looks like that?’
Julia was ten times more beautiful that his recollections of her, and seeing her in the flesh again had made him excruciatingly aware of how much he still wanted her. Four months apart had done absolutely nothing to dim the stunning physical attraction they shared – it had flared to instant and burning recognition the moment he’d met her eyes again.
He tortured himself by wondering if she already had a new boyfriend out here in California, and how many men she’d been with in the months since he’d met her in New York. He saw red as he recalled the almost haughty manner in which she’d coolly informed him that she could have pretty much any guy who caught her fancy, and didn’t have to waste her time on someone like him. What made matters so much worse was the fact that she was absolutely right. Julia could conceivably date a different guy every night of the week for a month, and have her pick of who she liked best. Or simply start over again with a fresh batch.
He’d probably just made a huge ass of himself, therefore, by insinuating that she was still pining over him and laying down rules about keeping things professional between them. Hell, she’d probably been so pissed off at the way he’d treated her in New York that she had forgotten about him before his plane left the ground. And then she’d likely hit up one of the many bars or clubs in Manhattan and found some attractive guy who wasn’t already engaged – a guy who’d probably worshipped her and treated her like the goddess she was.
No, he thought angrily. It wouldn’t be Julia he was going to have to worry about to keep things professional between them. He was the one who was going to have to make a superhuman effort to keep his fucking hands off of her, and somehow remember that he was engaged to another woman. The way he looked at it, he sure as fuck had his work cut out for him.
Chapter Eight
February
After a month on the job at Atwood Headley, Julia had quickly learned the telephone extensions of the key personnel in the office. Thus, she recognized the incoming call as being from Robyn, Nathan’s super-efficient assistant.
“Good morning, Robyn. How are you today?” she said as pleasantly as possible. The older woman had been exceedingly kind to Julia since day one.
“Just great, hon. Listen, the boss asked me to tell you that the Gregson meeting has been moved up by fifteen minutes, so be ready to leave here around nine-thirty. Is that okay?”
A quick glance at the clock on her computer shoved it to be just after eight-thirty. “Yes, that’s fine. I’ll meet Nathan by the elevators then.”
“Perfect. Talk to you later.”
Julia sighed as she hung up the phone. Over the past few weeks, anytime Nathan needed to communicate with her it had either been through Robyn or via email. Any face to face meetings they’d had – primarily about the Napa hotel project – had also been attended by at least one other person, usually that idiot Jake Harriman who spent most of the meeting staring at her tits. Nathan had certainly fulfilled his part of their bargain – acting like the perfect gentleman, always professional, always distant. Julia had a hard time reconciling his current behavior with the seductive, flirtatious, and passionate man she’d met in New York. No doubt, she thought unhappily, he was only sharing that particular side of his personality with his fiancée.
Being around Nathan on an almost daily basis had been far more difficult – and heartbreaking – than Julia could have imagined. She’d always been a sucker for a man who could wear a suit really well, and Nathan wore his collection of tailored designer suits – Armani, Prada, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana – far better than most. He had a good eye for color – no doubt he had something of an artistic side given his chosen profession – and always paired his suits with perfectly coordinated shirts and ties. Her particular favorite was his black pinstriped D&G, especially when he teamed it with a crisp white shirt and dark red tie. She loved the way the beautifully cut jacket emphasized the breadth of his shoulders and back, and how the trousers fell just so from his slim hips.
Each time they met, her fingers itched to run themselves through all that thick, dark brown hair. She longed to see those beautiful light blue eyes twinkle at her, his sinfully full mouth to smile at her just once – really smile, not just one of those brief, polite acknowledgments that one might bestow on a total stranger. He never once asked her a personal questions, how her weekend had been, or complemented her on her appearance.
And yet, he did all those things and more to nearly everyone else in the office, male and female. She’d seen him give Becca, the receptionist, a wide grin and compliment her bright red sweater. Just two days ago he’d asked Jake the Jerk – and his sidekick Brent t
he Bonehead – about their weekends and had listened as each described in excruciating detail what they’d done. He’d even teased Courtney about her latest hair color – this one a bright electric blue. But with Julia herself, it seemed he was doing an exemplary job of acting like she didn’t exist beyond her sketches and designs for the Napa hotel.
He had, in fact, been a bit harsh with his critiques and she’d had to re-do a number of the designs several times. She had agreed with a few of his suggestions, but on most of the others she’d really felt like he was nitpicking and intentionally making things challenging for her. But she was determined to succeed here and had made every change he’d requested without complaint or argument.
She was working harder and putting in more hours than she had at Manhattan Interiors, but also felt more artistically fulfilled and satisfied with her work. There was more variety, more challenges, and more demands but she found those things had also lit a spark in her creative side, and in her opinion she was producing some of her best work right now.
Julia was actually grateful for the long hours she’d been working, a welcome diversion to her continuing infatuation with Nathan. In the six weeks or so since she’d moved to San Francisco, her day to day life had fallen into a busy but satisfying routine. She rose early enough to make it to a 6:00am Ashtanga yoga class at a studio close to her flat. She was at her desk beginning her work day by eight-thirty, and often worked past six in the evening. She cooked dinner for herself most nights – and occasionally for Angela when she could persuade her upstairs neighbor and girlhood friend to actually eat something. Weekends thus far had been spent doing household chores, laundry, shopping, more yoga, and dragging Angela to an occasional movie or dinner out.
One thing she did not do was go trolling in clubs or bars as she’d bragged to Nathan about. That had never been her scene and the only one-night stand she’d had in her life had been Nathan. And while San Francisco was proving to be little different from New York in terms of how many men stared at her or tried to hit on her, Julia was in absolutely no rush to have a steady man in her life. She tried to tell herself it was just because she had been so busy – settling into her new flat, getting to know her way around the city, and of course the many demands of her new job. But deep down she knew it was because she was too attracted to Nathan to want to settle for someone else, even though the attraction certainly seemed one-sided at this point.
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