by D. S. Murphy
“I’ll start cooking this up,” she said as I heaved the carcass onto the kitchen table. She tied an apron around her blue dress and pulled her dark hair into a ponytail.
“There’s more out by the fence,” I said.
“Jamie!” she called. “Go help your sister carry the meat in.”
My little brother poked his head down the stairs. His hair was golden blond, just like my little sister Loralie. I was the black sheep of the family. Not only several years older than my siblings, but my hair is tangled and dark, like a spider’s web or a bird’s nest. Mom said I should try brushing it, instead of climbing trees and getting in trouble,
“That’s alright,” I replied before he could come down. “I’ll grab Trev. He’ll be able to carry more.”
“Wash your face first,” Mom instructed, handing me a wet rag. “You’ll scare the neighbors.” I winced as I ran the cloth over the cut on my cheek. I had a bruise on my stomach as big as an eggplant from where Nigel punched me, and his fingers had left marks on my arms. I changed shirts and pulled on a long-sleeve jacket, before heading back outside
I knocked on the door of the third house down the street and waited impatiently. Trevor’s father was the town blacksmith, and the two of us had been best friends since we were little. He spent most of his days fishing the small stream that came through our land, and we often traded fish for pheasants and rabbits at the town’s market. I grinned as he opened the door, filling the frame with his broad shoulders.
“I’ve got something for you,” I told him, “but you’re going to have to help me carry it.”
“Rabbit?” he asked, pushing his dark hair away from his eyes.
“Better,” I grinned.
He grabbed his jacket, then followed me through town. It took us five minutes to clear the residential area; neat rows of cottages and cabins that were constructed after the Culling.
Trev gasped when he saw the kill.
“What did you tell your mom?” he asked, eyes wide. “No way a buck that big could have squeezed through the fence.”
“Willful ignorance,” I said. “She’s not that interested in where I go.”
“It’s a shame the antlers broke off. This would have made one hell of a trophy. Where did you shoot it?” he asked, checking the body. “How many arrows did it take to bring it down?”
“It’s complicated,” I said lamely, clasping my fingers together in front of me.
Trev ran his fingers over the flank and froze when he reached the neck.
“These are bite marks,” he murmured, turning white. Then he spun around and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Did they see you?” he demanded.
I shook my head, but kept my eyes down so he wouldn’t read the lie off my face.
“I was careful. They were just hunting it for sport, and they left the body.”
Trev clenched his hands into fists and squeezed them together. I knew he was trying to keep from shouting at me. I don’t know how many times he’d made me promise not to go over the fence without him. He lifted my chin to study the scratch on my cheek.
“You could have been killed,” he said softly. I was startled to hear his voice shake a little. “If anybody knew you were past the barrier, if they found out… you could be flogged. Or worse.”
“You know meat’s been scarce lately. And with Festival tonight, I just wanted to give them something to remember me by.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” Trev’s voice rumbled in his chest, almost like a growl.
Trev reached down and took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb gently over my knuckles. I lowered my eyes, unable to meet the intensity of his gaze.
“I need you to be more careful. If anything happened to you—”
He stared down at me with warm eyes, and I felt my skin tingle. Heat flushed my cheeks when he leaned in closer, our breaths mingling. But just as he was about to kiss me, I shoved him away and punched him on the shoulder, laughing. It was fake and strained, sure, but it was better than the alternative.
Trev forced a chuckle, brushing a lock of curly brown hair away from his face, but I could tell he was annoyed. I knew how he felt about me. How could I not? Sure, I’d noticed the changes in him these last two years—I wasn’t blind. Sometimes when he helped his dad in the shop, his strong arms pounding a sledgehammer onto red-hot rods of metal, his sculpted abs would drip with sweat. I’ll admit I’ve had… inappropriate thoughts. But I wasn’t sure I was ready to risk our friendship.
Besides, even if we wanted to be together, we didn’t have the right to make that decision. Relationships in the compound were forbidden until after the choosing. Why even get our hopes up if it could all be taken away? Trev helped carry the meat back, then kissed my mom on the cheek while stealing a piece of her famous apple crumble pie. He winked at me as she chased him out the door with a wooden spoon. Then she frowned at my appearance and pointed upstairs. Most days I wore my dad’s old trousers, but tonight was Festival, the biggest holiday of the year. We didn’t have many occasions to get dressed up, and I knew my mom wanted me to look nice. Normally I’d resist, but this could be my last Festival at home, and I’d do anything to make my mother happy.
After showering, I put on my favorite dress and dabbed just a hint of red lipstick on my lips for color. I rarely wore makeup, but it looked great with the green fabric. It was the same dress I wore last year, but the fabric was only slightly frayed. I’d grown so quickly this would probably be the last time I could wear it before handing it down to Loralie, my little sister. My pale skin looked almost white against the forest green dress, and dark circles from weeks of disturbed sleep made my eyes look unnaturally large.
I’d always looked forward to Festival. There would be lights, firecrackers, apple pie and ice cream. Games and dancing. But this year was different. I felt a knot in my stomach, and chewed on my bottom lip. Only the prettiest girls got chosen, I told myself. I knew I was too thin and tall—all knees and elbows. But I hated the uncertainty. This could be my last night in the compound. My last night with my friends and family, and the only life I had ever known. I sighed, then went downstairs to help my mom finish setting up the table in front of our house. It was no use worrying about what I couldn’t control.
Jamie and Loralie were already running around the meadow, involved in some game that involved sticks and ribbons. Trev whistled when he saw me, and I rolled my eyes at him. He had repaired the buck’s head with screws and steel wire, and the magnificent antlers stood proudly from the table in front of our house. We were roasting the meat on a spit; fat dripped into the coals, releasing the delicious smell of crushed herbs and garlic. It would probably feed two hundred people. We weren’t a wealthy family, and in some previous years we’d had a disappointing showing. It was nice to feel like we were actually contributing this year.
At Festival, each family put out an array of prepared dishes, and everybody shared and sampled. For wealthier families, it was a chance to show off. For poorer families, a chance to eat delicacies they could only dream about the rest of the year. The council members also used Festival as a way to keep track of how the households were doing, so that they could assess rations. 10% of each family’s income went to the council, and they could save it, store it or redistribute it as necessary. We had lean months, but nobody went hungry.
There were 2,735 people in Algrave. I knew the exact number because population was monitored, and each compound never exceeded 3,000 people. A large sign near the front gates was updated daily to account for births and deaths. As long as there were no problems, the elites mostly left us alone to manage ourselves. Travel was forbidden, though special access passes could be obtained for trade, study or in rare cases, marriage—which left some room for interaction and communication between different compounds. And there were dozens of compounds. I didn’t know how many. My father told me once he’d been to three others in his life. There were some small differences in dress and food, he said, but they were pretty much the sam
e. The whine of the purification machines; the neat rows of houses; the electric fence to keep out predators.
I turned towards the stage at the sound of music playing through the speakers, just in time to see Mayor Thompson grab a microphone. A moment later, his voice boomed over the crowd.
“Welcome, everyone, to the Ninety-Eighth Annual Festival of Algrave!” People started cheering and clapping their hands. “Please join me in the Pledge of Allegiance.”
I put my right hand over my heart and recited it from memory, along with everyone else.
“I pledge allegiance to the kingdom, which was founded for my protection. I’m thankful for the covenant between our two races, which saved my humanity, and the elixir that restores my body. Peace, health, and life—for all.” Trevor stood beside me, and I noticed his arms were crossed. I nudged him with my elbow, and he raised a hand to his heart, but kept his lips tightly pressed together. Sure, life wasn’t perfect in Algrave, but the purification engines kept the compound free of ash, and the weekly renewal ceremony prevented sickness. Everyone knew the alternative was death. With the poisonous ash and the mutant creatures that roamed the wilderness, living in the compound was the only way for humans to survive. What other choice was there?
There were several minor announcements, but nothing formal—the Festival was a celebration, not a pageant. That would come tomorrow. Enjoying the excitement, I wandered around with Jamie and Loralie, looking at all the decorated tables and grabbing handfuls of food. We’d already made one loop around the main square, and were about to get in line for cinnamon crisps, when I saw Trevor talking with a man I didn’t recognize. I started to wave, but something about their posture made me hesitate. They stood in the shadows next to a barn, almost like they didn’t want to be seen. I knew everyone in Algrave, but I’d never seen this bearded stranger. He was wearing a long coat that seemed thicker than necessary, and a knitted cap lined with fur with flaps that covered his ears. Was he from another compound? How did Trev know him? I watched him dig into his pocket, then hand something to Trev. I saw the glint of metal changing hands just before someone slammed into my shoulder.
Jessica’s eyes lit up when she saw me, but not because we were friends. Her father was on the city council, and she was easily the prettiest girl in the compound. I usually went out of my way to avoid Jessica and her sidekicks.
“Nice dress, Emily,” she sneered. “I remember it from last year. But don’t worry, it totally looks great on you. Nobody else would know how old it is. Looking forward to tomorrow? I for one can’t wait to get out of this place.”
Jessica was wearing a pink dress that looked brand new—it must have been traded in one of the other compounds. Her blond hair fell in perfect tangles around her pear shaped face. Of course she’d get chosen.
“At least you can look forward to staying in the compound, hunting rabbits or whatever. I guess the blood is the only way to cover your hands.”
She’d been teasing me about my birthmarks for years—red splotches that ran from my wrists to the ends of my fingertips. They looked like stains from picking berries, but more angular, like thorns. Birthmarks were fairly compound in the compound, but mine were more visible than most. She wasn’t wrong though, what kind of elite would choose a girl with such an obvious defect?
Like usual, I wished for a snappy comeback but came up empty. Only this time it was worse, because the ash in my lungs made me feel like I couldn’t breathe, like I was choking on my own tongue. I was saved when my best friend Amber interrupted us.
“See you later, sweeties—hopefully never.” She steered me away from Jessica’s glare as I went into a coughing fit. Amber handed me a glass of blackberry wine, and I took a few gulps to clear my throat.
“Nervous about tomorrow?” she asked, shoving a scone in her mouth. I loved that she wasn’t worried about her figure the day before choosing—she was obviously more interested in the sweets than in going to the citadel of lights. I plucked an extra scone off her plate and tore it apart with my fingers. It was soft and sweet, with just a hint of bitter from the sesame seeds.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Maybe.” I was under no delusions that I was going to get picked. This was Algrave, after all. Maybe one out of every ten girls in Algrave got Chosen, and this year there were forty-five of us. I wasn’t even very pretty, in comparison. Honestly, I was more nervous about what would happen after the ceremony. I’d be expected to make big decisions that would determine the rest of my life. I wasn’t ready to map out my whole future.
When the band began to play, Amber grabbed my arm and dragged me out to the dance floor. She spun me around, her curly red hair bouncing in the lights. We let the music surround us, and I felt it invade my senses, as if my entire world consisted of notes and chords. The lights were blurry, and I knew I’d had too much wine, but I was having too much fun to stop. When the song changed, Loralie, Jamie and I joined hands and spun in circles. Then Trev joined in. We laughed until I couldn’t breathe, and fell down exhausted into the grass.
I landed on Trev, and lay there for a while, cushioned in the grass with Trev’s warm arm supporting my head and the world spinning. A few kids ran by with sparklers, just as the fireworks show began. They were so beautiful, and the music was so touching, that I felt my eyes tear up. Even though I didn’t think I would be picked, it still felt like I was saying goodbye.
Trev glanced over at me, then jumped up and grabbed my hand. He hauled me up and put an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.
“What are you doing?” I asked, a smile curving the corners of my lips. The blackberry wine was making me bold.
“Just one dance, before…”
Instead of resisting, I leaned into him, resting my head on his chest. I could give him this, at least. We spun slowly in time to the music, a melancholy song that made me burst with longing. Maybe it was the wine, or the song, or the anxiety of what tomorrow would bring, but when he reached down and lifted my chin, I didn’t pull away.
His kiss was soft and gentle, as I knew it would be. It made me feel safe and warm.
“I know I’m supposed to wait until tomorrow,” he said, holding up something small and shiny.
“But tomorrow you’ll have a dozen suitors with gold rings better than this one. They’ll be lining up at your door. So, I thought, before you get any ideas about marrying someone smarter, or richer, or better looking… I better make an effort.”
For just a moment, I let myself sink into the familiar daydream. Me and Trevor married, raising children in Algrave. It would be a simple, happy life. He’d take over his father’s shop. I’d continue hunting—he was probably the only man in the compound who wouldn’t expect me to spend all day cooking and cleaning. His proposal didn’t surprise me, and really, there was nobody else I would seriously consider marrying.
But he didn’t have the right. Not until tomorrow. Not until after the choosing.
“If I’m still here tomorrow,” I said, slowly running my hands up his chest to pat his shoulders, “I promise… to think about it.” I smirked at him.
Rolling his eyes, he kissed me again, but we took it no further.
The laws were strict. I had to keep myself pure until the choosing.
Just then there was a loud bang and a flash of light. I thought it was just another firework at first, but then I heard the shouts. Trev and I ran towards the noise. A crowd was already gathering around the wooden stage that was set up for the ceremony tomorrow. Flames licked its wooden support beams, and a large charred hole swallowed up half of the stairs.
Beside me, Trev’s mouth was pulled tight, but there was a flicker of something else in his eyes.
I saw my mom at the edge of the crowd, with a hand up to her heart. She was standing unsteadily. Before I could reach her, she collapsed to the side onto the ground.
“Mom!” I yelled. I pushed through the crowd, until we reached my mother.
“She’s breathing,” Trev said. “And her pulse is str
ong.”
“Let’s get her home,” I said.
Trev lifted her up, and we headed quickly towards our house. We’d just reached the front porch when she opened her eyes.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Trevor, put me down, please.”
Trev placed her gently on the sofa and I covered her up with a blanket. She looked thinner than I remembered. Why hadn’t I noticed earlier?
“What happened?” I asked, squeezing her palm.
“Just all the excitement I guess,” she said. “I must have fainted.”
I bit my lip but didn’t say anything, at least not in front of Trevor. My mom was usually up before I was, and I’d never seen her faint before. She assured us she was fine, then shooed Trevor out of the house so I could get my “beauty rest” before the ceremony tomorrow.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked.
“Never better,” she said, with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Tomorrow’s a big day for you. For all of us. Try and get some rest.”
I wanted to push further, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me anything. Not tonight. I headed upstairs to my room in the attic, crouching under the low ceiling to reach my bed. I’d been dreading the choosing for months, and usually tried not to think about it. On the eve of the big day, however, I couldn’t ignore it any longer. What if I was chosen tomorrow? My family would be taken care of for life, but it didn’t seem fair that Trev and I couldn’t just decide to be together, if some elite claimed me for his own instead.
The citadel of lights was as much a fairytale as my father’s monsters, something promised to all little girls. Be good and you’ll get chosen and move to the citadel of lights. Be naughty and the slagpaw will get you. I wondered how much of the stories I heard were based on reality. The girls chosen almost never returned to talk about it. But living with an elite, being married to one? I couldn’t even imagine it. Reaching up, I brushed my lips with my fingers, remembering Trev’s soft kisses. A future with him never scared me.