by D. S. Murphy
All I wanted to do was go out and find Amber and Trevor, to say goodbye, but my mother wouldn’t let me out of her sight. And it was her last night with me as well. I hated being the center of attention, but the suspicious glances I got were even worse. A lot of the villagers had never really looked at me until today, and they were surprised to see my casual clothes and muddy boots. There eyes lingered over the dark stains on my palms and fingers.
I heard a young girl whisper, “How did she get chosen?”
Finally I saw Amber and jumped up to hug her.
“Thank God you’re here,” I said. “I’ve been going crazy.”
“I can’t imagine. Getting chosen by two elites? That never happens. Who are you?”
She smiled, but I knew her well enough to see the pain in her eyes. She was still in her purple dress, which seemed sad now that she’d been rejected. For the remaining girls, however, tonight was the beginning of their new lives as women—they were officially free to date and find a husband.
“I wish we were going together,” I said.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you and Jessica will have loads of fun.”
She laughed when I made a face. I grabbed her a cup of wine and we sat down on a hanging bench under a dogwood tree across from my house. It was close enough that my mother could still see me, but far enough from the crowd that we could speak freely. White blossoms from the tree scattered around us, creating a soft carpet with a sweet floral scent.
“If it makes you feel any better, I heard she’s livid that you got chosen before her.”
“Nothing could make me feel better,” I said. I didn’t realize how tragic I sounded until I saw a flash of anger on her face.
“Oh yeah, moving into a palace with a handsome prince. Your life totally sucks.”
I frowned. I’d been expecting more sympathy. I mean, sure I hadn’t told her everything that had happened in the woods, so she had no idea what was really going on. But a little support would be nice.
“I’m just nervous, alright? I never expected to get picked.”
“That’s what makes this so annoying,” she sighed. “I mean, you have Trev, and then you get chosen. And you don’t even want it. You don’t want any of it. But I still love you, and I don’t want to fight,” she said. “Not on our last night together.”
“Don’t say that,” I said. “I might be back in a month. I don’t even know if I’ll make it through the trial period. I heard they have all kinds of tests and challenges.”
“You better,” she said, pinching my arm, “because I want to see the citadel. What good is having a best friend get chosen if she doesn’t bring you with her for a visit?
“You think they’d let me do that?” I asked.
“I’ve heard of it happening before. If you please your husband, and prove yourself a worthy consort. Once you’re married, you’ll be a citizen and will have more power—not to mention you’ll be wealthier than anyone in the village. Oh my god, since you’re marrying a prince, will that make you a princess? Or a queen?” Her eyes bulged with excitement, and I giggled at the image.
“Here, hold this,” she said, shoving her drink into my hands. She grabbed a handful of twigs and white blossoms and weaved them into a rudimentary crown. I spun in a circle, pretending to wave a magic wand, like I was a fairy in one of the stories her mother told us when we were younger. She laughed, until I stumbled, and then bent over in another coughing fit. My lungs were getting worse.
“You went outside the fence again, didn’t you?” Amber said, shaking her head.
“I’ll be fine tomorrow,” I said. “But I should probably get some sleep. I just have to talk with Trev first.”
“That might be hard,” she said. “I saw him a couple hours ago and he was already drunk. He’s probably passed out in an alley by now.”
My eyes widened at that news. I hadn’t seen Trevor go on a bender for years, since we finished off a bottle of gin together and he’d puked his guts out afterwards.
“Take care.” Amber gave me a long hug, then walked briskly away without saying goodbye. I knew she didn’t want me to see her cry. I slipped from my mother’s gaze and headed towards the center square. From the sound of the music and voices, half the town was already there. I searched the crowd for Trevor but didn’t see him. I saw a friend of his though, jumping around among the spinning circles of people. I shoved through the dancing bodies and shouted his name.
“Will!”
His face was flushed from exertion and his eyes glazed from drink, but a wide smile covered his freckled face when he saw me. He grabbed me by the waist and started twirling me around. His hands were sweaty in mine as he swung me in circles. He was scrawny but knew his way around a dance floor.
“Where’s Trev?” I hollered in his ear.
The music was so loud, he still couldn’t hear me. “What?”
“Trev!”
Understanding, Will turned and pointed to the far side of the square. I squinted, and could just make out someone leaning on a hay bale by the beverage tent. I threaded my way through the crowd, but when I got to the edge of the dance floor, the figure stood. He swayed, then staggered forward a few steps. One of the lights illuminated Trev’s muscular frame, reflecting off the near-empty bottle clenched in his fist. It was the expression on his face, however, that stopped me cold.
In all the years I had known him, I had never seen such a mix of anger and sadness on his face. For the first time since the choosing, I realized how much my leaving would cost him. He loved me. I knew he did. And I hated that I was forced to break his heart. As if reading my thoughts, Trev scowled and a look of hatred passed through his eyes. I jerked backward like I’d been slapped. He’d never looked at me that way before. Not once.
Trev’s lips pressed together in a thin line, and in the orange lights from the Festival, his face appeared almost cruel. Taking one last drink from the bottle, he glared at me before chucking it to the ground in a clatter of glass. Then he turned and walked away.
I stepped over the shards of glass, feeling like they were pieces of my broken heart. Trevor was my best friend. We’d been through so much together over the years. I didn’t want to leave things like this. I stalked after him, peering into dark doorways and alleys, but he’d vanished. I couldn’t believe he was actually hiding from me, on my last night in Algrave. I realized how much I needed to talk with someone, and explain everything that had happened over the last few days. Trevor was my go-to confidant, and I felt even more lost without him.
Besides, why was he so angry with me? It’s not like I had any choice. It was an honor to get chosen, and even if I didn’t exactly cherish the idea, I’d still do my duty as a citizen of Algrave. Why was he acting like this was my fault somehow? After awhile I gave up searching for him and headed home. Mom was just finishing up the dishes and tucking the last of the food into the cellar so it wouldn’t go bad. I didn’t remember the last time we actually had leftovers. She looked tired, and I thought she’d complain about me ditching the party when so many people had come to congratulate me.
Instead she pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and made me a cup of peppermint tea. I sipped it in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the company and trying not to think about the fact that this might be one of our last moments together. Finally, Mom finished puttering around the kitchen and sat down to join me.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said. “It’s best if I tell you now, before you leave, just in case I don’t get another chance.”
“Don’t say that,” I said. “I’m sure I can come back to visit in a few months.”
“I may not have that much time,” she said, reaching across the table and gripping my hand.
I jerked my hand away and stood up suddenly.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, dread washing over me.
“I’m sick,” she said simply. “It’s been getting worse. When I fainted at the Festival, that wasn’t the first
time it’s happened. I feel tired all the time, and weak. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be around.”
“But nobody gets sick in Algrave!” I said. “What about the renewal—can’t you just ask for more elixir? Isn’t that what the covenant is all about?”
“One drop a week, for every citizen. No more, no less. It does keep us healthy, and strong, but commons don’t live forever. We aren’t like the elite.”
“I’ll stay,” I said quickly. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll get more meat and trade for medicine. Jamie’s almost old enough to get a job.”
She smiled sadly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“You’re chosen now,” she said. “All my prayers have been answered. I can stop working, and Jamie and Loralie will have more opportunity. I don’t have to worry about who will take care of them when I’m gone. I don’t have to worry about who will take care of you. You’ve already given me more than I could have asked for.”
I bit my lip, and a tear ran down my cheek. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it sooner. How thin she’s gotten over the last few months. How she never seemed to be hungry, and let Jamie finish her plate.
“This is ridiculous,” I said. “There must be a way to get more elixir. They can’t just let you die.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” she said, frowning. “All humans die. At least now I can go in peace, knowing my family is taken care of.”
I felt a tightening in my chest. She’d been counting on me to get chosen, and now my whole family was depending on me. “But what if I fail the Trials?” I asked. “What if Damien decides he doesn’t want me, and sends me back?”
“Then he’s a fool,” Mom laughed, “and he doesn’t deserve you. There will be a hundred desperate young men who would cut off their right arms to marry the girl who was once chosen by Prince Damien. Don’t you worry about that. And remember, no matter what happens, you have a place here.” She pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I closed my eyes.
“Chosen or not, I will always love you.”
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. I inhaled the sweet lavender scent of her, preserving it in my memory. “Now get some sleep,” she said, patting my leg. “Tomorrow’s a big day.” I headed upstairs with that understatement ringing in my ears. I got ready for bed and turned out the lamp, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I tossed and turned, wondering what the morning would bring and worrying about my mother. In only a few short hours, my entire world would change forever, and I might never see my mother again. There had to be a way to help her.
I was grateful I hadn’t been chosen by Nigel, but Damien hadn’t seemed all that pleased with me at the ceremony. Still, he’d been kind to me in the forest. Maybe once we’d spent some time together, I could ask him to help my mother. But how long would that take? And what if I was too late?
Something moved outside my window, jarring me from my thoughts. I glanced at the clock beside my bed. It was two in the morning. Who would be out there at this time of night? Three tiny pebbles flew at my window, making a clink, clink, clink sound. Instantly, I relaxed. I’d been hearing that sound since I was a kid, though never so late at night.
Scrambling from my bed, I went to the window and lifted the heavy glass. I could just make out Trev’s form in the darkness. He stood on the edge of the shadows cast by the street lamp. When he stepped into the orange circle of light, his featured were obscured by dark shadows. I squinted my eyes, trying to see better. Then I waved him inside.
I stepped back, giving him room to climb in my window. Trevor unfolded himself and stood up straight. He had to duck his neck so it wouldn’t hit the ceiling of my cramped room. He reeked of alcohol and his eyes were bloodshot, but I was glad to see him. I’d have felt terrible if we didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.
“Run away with me,” he blurted out.
At first I thought I’d misheard him.
“You can’t be serious,” I said, crossing my arms.
“Why not? We could be together, Ems, you and me. Just the way it’s always been.” He looked so hopeful, like this was a problem he could fix, if only he could figure out how.
“Where would we go?” I asked. “It’s death outside the compounds. Without the machines, without the weekly dose of elixir, we wouldn’t survive.”
“It’s worth the risk. And there are other ways to get blood out of an elite.”
My face paled at his suggestion. The elixir was made from diluted elite blood, but only a fool would try to capture an elite. That’s what led to the race wars.
“Promise me you won’t do anything reckless,” I said, putting my hand on Trev’s chest.
He scowled. “There must be a way out of this. They can’t just take you—”
“Of course, they can, Trevor! Don’t you get it? This is the way it’s always been. One chosen, so the entire compound can live in peace.” I hated to see him hurt, even more to be the cause of it, but I needed him to understand. “Of course, they can take me away. They make the rules.” We couldn’t change this. We couldn’t fight back. The alternative would be open war, and I had no doubt a handful of elite could massacre our entire community in less than a minute.
Fury filled his eyes again. “How can you be okay with this?” He flung my hand away. “It’s like you wanted to be chosen.”
My head jerked as if I’d been hit. His words stung. “You think I wanted this? To go live with a total stranger? To share my blood, my body…”
“I don’t know,” Trev said, raising his voice. “Maybe not until you found out he was a prince. I saw the way you looked at him.” His neck muscles pulsed as he fought to control himself. As much as I felt for him, Trev’s jealous boyfriend routine was pissing me off. I wanted to hit and hug him at the same time.
“What do you think they’d do to my family if I ran?” I asked softly. “They’re barely getting by with me here to look out for them. If we left, they’d be on their own. They might even get punished.”
Trev took a deep breath and held it in. Then he let it out with a heavy sigh, and sunk down onto my bed.
“Shit,” he said. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
His anger abated, and he looked like himself again. I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him. He squeezed me like he’d never let me go, burying his face in my dark hair.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” he said. “I don’t know how to live without you.”
“Maybe we won’t get along,” I said, half-joking. “Maybe he’ll send me back after the trial period.”
A spark of hope lit his eyes, and I wanted to kick myself for putting it there. It was almost as bad as his anger.
“That’s brilliant,” he exclaimed, scooting closer to me. “Just be obnoxious and needy and annoying. If he can’t stand you, he’ll send you back in a month. It happens sometimes.”
I could only remember it happening once, five years ago, to a girl called Sharon. She was pretty, with curves in all the right places, but she was…unstable, to say the least. It was like she was always in her own little world. She had no social skills whatsoever, and honestly, it had gotten worse since her return. Her parents had been devastated when she came home early. Nobody said anything, of course, and the family still got some benefits for having a daughter chosen, but it was a disgrace to be rejected by an elite. It was better, by far, not to be chosen at all.
If Nigel had picked me, I would have begged to come back early in disgrace, even if it meant being alone for the rest of my life. But with Damien, it was different. Now that he’d chosen me, for whatever reason, I didn’t like the idea of being sent away. He’d saved me twice, after all. I didn’t want to make him regret his decision.
Trev seemed to read my mind again.
“But that’s not what you want, is it?” he scowled. “You want to go be that bloodsucker’s mate, don’t you?”
I glared at him. What right did he have to be such a jerk? I was the one who had to move to the citade
l and leave everyone I had ever loved behind. I was the one about to marry a complete stranger. And yet, here he was, treating me like I was doing something wrong.
“Admit it,” Trev commanded, “you’re not in love with me. You want to get away from me. You’d rather go be the bloodwhore of some elite prince than stay here and marry me.”
My eyes widened, and I suddenly felt the sting of tears. I’d heard the derogatory slur for the chosen before, but never from him. Ruthlessly, I fought them back.
“I didn’t choose this, Trev,” I said. “It’s the law. You know that as well as anyone. Two races, complimenting each other and helping one another. Live together, or die apart.” I repeated the mantra, but it felt hollow and empty as soon as it passed my lips.
“Whatever, Emily. I can’t talk to you about this anymore.” I reached for his arm, but I didn’t know what else to say. I pulled the gold ring he’d given me out of my pocket, and pushed it into his palm.
“I just want you to be happy,” I said. “Even if that’s not with me.”
“Keep it,” he said, setting it down on the dresser as he moved towards the window. “Maybe it will help you remember me when you’re building a new life with your prince.” He stepped through the window and perched on the ledge, then glanced over his shoulder at me one last time. “I’m not going to beg you to love me, Ems. I’m better than that. But I want to marry you, to have a life with you. And I would do anything to make that happen. If you figure out what you want, let me know.”
I stood at the window for a long time after he’d gone, staring after him into the dark. When there was no one left to see me, I let the tears fall. Trev was my best friend, the one person who mattered to me as much as my own family. And I felt guilty for hurting him. I hadn’t asked Damien to choose me, but Trev hadn’t been completely wrong. I blushed a little at the thought of my future mate. The way his smile turned my insides to butter. How my heart raced when I pictured us living together. I couldn’t imagine what my new life would be like, but I realized I was actually eager to find out.
Finally, the stress of the day caught up to me and I felt exhaustion sink into my bones. As I lay back against my thin mattress, something Trev said lingered in my brain, bubbling towards the surface. There were other ways to get elixir. I was half-asleep when I suddenly bolted upright. I knew how to save my mother.