“There was more, Jules.”
The weight that followed her around like a ball and chain sat there, heavier than ever. “I was so lost, Cade. All I saw was black. I didn’t think I’d ever get out. I thought I’d end up like my mother, in spirals of depression and then I just didn’t know anything anymore…and you didn’t come back,” she whispered.
A look passed over him and she didn’t know what it was, if he felt guilty or if it was regret. “I would have come back if I thought you’d wanted me to.”
“So why now?”
“I fulfilled my commitment to the guys. My shares are enough to offer you—”
“I never said I expected anything from you.”
“I know how you grew up. I know the life you were accustomed to. I know how you roughed it out there in Fort McMurray with me. That fucking killed me. My pride. My own sense of self-worth. I wanted the best for you, Jules. I wanted the best for Sophie.”
She stood abruptly. This was all getting too personal, he was getting too close, too fast. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
He stood and towered over her. He had always been her tower of strength and she had loved how he made her feel cherished and protected. “Okay. I’m not going to rush you.”
She nodded, taking a step back. “It sounds like the winds are dying down. I’m pretty tired. I’ll get the guest bedroom set up for you.”
She backed up again, finding him harder and harder to resist. He was standing there, all hard lines, and sexiness. His hands were stuffed into his jeans pockets, his wide shoulders slightly hunched, but it was the look in his eyes that made her hurry to leave the room. “I’ll meet you in the spare room. I’ll see what extra toiletries I have.”
“Julia?”
She stopped at the threshold of the doorway.
“I never stopped loving you.”
She held her breath and left the room just as the power came back on.
Chapter Four
Cade walked into Bill Montgomery’s office a very different man than three years ago. In some ways, he’d still been a kid. He hadn’t been exposed to power or wealth until he’d met Julia’s father, he didn’t get how discriminatory a person could be until Bill. He’d listened to the man once before, but he’d never do it again.
He needed to do this. He’d known the second he’d woken up this morning that he had to deal with him today. He hadn’t slept a wink in Julia’s spare room last night, knowing she was across the hall in an empty bed. He should have been sharing that bed with her. He wanted her on a level that went beyond anything he’d ever experienced in his life. They had always had great chemistry, but now, this, being so close to her and not being able to touch her, was killing him. It had never diminished, in all these years.
He knew she felt the chemistry, he knew it in the way she looked at him. She looked at him like she wanted him, like she wanted him but refused to have him. As much as it had used up every ounce of his self-control to keep things light and unthreatening last night, it had felt good to be with her, making s’mores just like they had in Fort McMurray inside their crappy fireplace. She had always tried to double stuff her s’mores with extra chocolate. Last night, she hadn’t, but he knew she was slowly letting a bit of her guard down.
Last night with Julia revealed the resentment she was still harboring towards him. Maybe he believed her about the fact that she didn’t blame him for what happened with Sophie, but he read the hurt when she asked why he didn’t come back for her sooner, why he hadn’t tried again. And he would have tried, over and over again, except for one man. He had also needed to prove he was worthy of her, that he was able to take care of her, of a family. He needed to prove that he wasn’t some loser from nothing that she got saddled with.
He stopped in front of the receptionist’s desk. “I’m here to see Bill.”
She gave him a polite smile and checked her computer screen, frowning slightly. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Montgomery doesn’t have any appointments scheduled this morning.”
“I don’t need one. I’m his son-in-law.”
He didn’t wait to see the surprise on her face; he simply strode past her and into Bill’s office before she notified him. His father-in-law looked up sharply, his jaw dropping open slightly. He hadn’t changed much. White hair had thinned out, his weathered face had the same grim lines, his dark eyes still cold and unwelcoming. How different from his daughter.
“Hi, Bill, nice to see you again.” There, that was his attempt at civility, at setting the tone for this conversation.
Bill leaned back in his chair. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Cade shut the door slowly on the receptionist. “I’m back for my wife.”
“You have no wife. Julia is no longer your wife.”
“She is and she’s agreed to try again.”
His face went a few shades paler. “You promised you’d leave.”
“And I did. Idiot that I was, I followed your advice. But I’m not young and impressionable and vulnerable.”
Bill rubbed his hands down his face. “Did she know you were coming?”
“No. I wanted to surprise her. I’m not going anywhere, Bill. I’m here to stay.”
Bill shook his head, and leaned back, resting his head on his chair. “I’m not going to let you hurt her.”
“I’m not that kid who you think isn’t good enough for your daughter. I’ve made a name for myself. I’ve made a fortune, but you need to tell her. You need to tell her that you’re the one who told me to leave.”
Bill closed his eyes for a second, looking even older than before. “What am I going to say?”
“The truth. You tell her you offered me money, that you blamed me for the accident. You blamed me for her depression. You told me I’d never be good enough for her and that the best thing I could do was leave her alone.” Cade said it all in a voice that didn’t reveal how rotten he felt inside. Hearing the words aloud brought him right back. It had been here, that his father-in-law had railed into him. Cade had never felt so broken or lost in his life and when he’d come in here, hoping that Bill could put his feelings for Cade aside in order to help him come up with ways to help Julia, it had all gone to hell. Bill had no intention of helping him. He wanted him long gone and away from his only child.
He blamed himself too, for being too broken to put up more of a fight. He didn’t have the tools at the time to know what to do in a situation like this. He didn’t have family to fall back on, except Julia, and she’d been in such a bad place that she’d shut him out.
“How am I supposed to tell her that? She will never forgive me and she’s all I have.”
Cade knew how much Bill loved Julia. He didn’t doubt his devotion to her and he didn’t want him to lose her. As much as he resented Bill and blamed Bill, he didn’t want him to lose Julia. She’d been through enough and he wouldn’t want her to be in more pain and angry with her father. “Explain to her that you were motivated by worry for her. You tell her I never took the money you offered. You thought you were doing the best thing, but you realize now that you were wrong.”
Bill looked away from him, outside the window and slowly nodded. “I want her to be happy, more than anything. I know she loved you. She used these years to get herself together and make a career, a life for herself. But I know she never moved on from you.”
He felt his heart constrict, his chest feeling tight with the impact of what her father was saying. “So you’ll do it?”
Bill sighed then gave him a nod. “Don’t hurt her.”
“Never.”
*
Cade stood in the doorway of Julia’s classroom. It was Thursday and the beginning of the long weekend. Julia was sitting on a red rug, beside the window, students seated around her. She looked completely in her element. Her face was flushed and she was smiling. Her hair was pulled back and she had on a navy T-shirt and dark jeans. The classroom was cheerful, letters hanging from the ceiling and pictures of animals, the
seasons, and numbers were attached to the wall.
He noticed all the kids were holding something in their laps. A little girl stood and held up a toy fire engine. “F is for fire engine,” she said in this shy little voice that made him smile. He had never been around kids much, and when he’d learned that he was going to be a father, they had both read parenting and baby books. It had terrified him.
The little girl stood there, describing her fire engine. She had blonde hair, like Julia…like Sophie. At first when he’d heard that Julia was a kindergarten teacher he hadn’t really thought that it was the best idea. He had assumed it would be too painful, but she looked completely comfortable. She looked at peace, happy.
“You’re right, Maya. Would you like to pass it around the circle?”
She nodded and passed it around. The kids looked at it and one boy attempted to wheel it down the classroom floor with the lights and sirens blazing, but Julia calmly got things under control in a few minutes. Then she led them in some song about good-bye and they all had to say their names as they went in a circle. It was sweet; the sound of their voices made him feel something. He had never noticed how sweet kids sounded when they sang. It made him smile. The bell rang and they all jumped around, creating total mayhem. He stood out of the way as Julia helped them get ready to go home. Soon, they were all running towards the door and he moved out of the way before he got ambushed.
Julia yelled out a happy weekend to everyone and the quiet hallways were now all crazy with kids yelling and laughing.
He stepped into the classroom and walked around some of the straggling kids who couldn’t seem to care less about him. Julia hadn’t noticed him; she was straightening out the bookshelf close to the rug.
“Hi there,” he called out, walking towards her.
He saw her muscles tense for a moment, before she turned around to face him. “Hi.” He studied her beautiful features, deciding she didn’t look displeased to see him. That was promising.
“Nice classroom.”
She smiled. “Thanks. It’s been mine for the last two years so I’ve been able to fill it with my favorite educational instruments.”
“Bye, Miss Montgomery!” The blonde girl with the fire engine yelled out with a wave.
Julia smiled and waved. “Have a good night, Maya.”
His gut clenched at the mention of her name. Her name, Montgomery. No one knew she was married. She didn’t wear a wedding ring, and in her mind she already thought they were divorced. He wasn’t going to make an issue of it. One day at a time. He’d spoken to her father. She was no longer looking as though she wanted to kill him the moment he walked into the room—he needed to be patient. He had to remind himself this wasn’t like at work where he went after a project relentlessly and pushed to get it done fast and perfect. This might take time and it might get messy.
“So, are you finished for the day?”
She nodded, gathering her books from the desk and slipping them into her laptop bag.
“Great. I’ve got plans for us.”
She paused, then zipped up her bag. “What kind of plans?”
“Surprise plans.”
She shook her head. “Cade…”
“You promised me a week and during that week you actually have to spend time with me. I know you might think you can avoid me and then at the end of the week, dismiss me. Not happening, babe. We’re spending every day together.”
*
Julia groaned. The man was persistent, and good-looking. She was not going to lie to herself and pretend that seeing him ignited every sort of sexual response in her body that she thought had gone into early hibernation. But the man could wear jeans like nobody’s business, always had. And the shirts he wore always made her think about what was underneath or how it felt to be in his arms.
Was she pleased that he had stopped by with plans? Okay, fine. But she couldn’t admit that aloud and let him get the upper hand. One day at a time. She wasn’t making any promises.
A knock at the door sounded and her stomach dropped when she looked from Cade’s gorgeous face to the door. Herb Johnson was standing there, looking back and forth between she and Cade. She wanted to groan out loud. What were the odds? Guilt rattled her at the obvious difference between the two men. If she could have hidden behind the massive world map behind her desk she would have.
She glanced over at Cade who had a bland expression on his face, but his eyes gleamed with…something. No doubt he was checking out the competition. Cade always had excellent instincts and she bet he already had figured out the man at the door. “Hi, Herb, come on in.”
Herb shot Cade a slightly hesitant look but walked in.
Cade struck out his hand, all carefully controlled movements. “Hi. I’m Cade. Julia’s husband.”
If she could have punched him, she would have. If she still had access to the fire engine she would have chucked it at him. Every ounce of blood in her body burned until she could feel her face flaming. Poor Herb looked mortified.
“I’m…Herb…”
Julia had to clear her throat repeatedly, because every time she tried to speak, squeaks emerged instead of words. “Herb, Cade is technically my husband, but we’ve been separated for years. In fact, I haven’t seen him in three years. I had no idea he would be in town.”
Herb looked much more relieved. She wasn’t even going to glance in Cade’s direction.
“Oh, I see. Well, I don’t want to intrude, but I was wondering if you have plans this weekend…” he said, his voice trailing as he looked at Cade from the corner of his eye. Cade was leaning on her desk like he owned the place. He was all hard lines and fake casual, because she really knew him and she knew that ticking in his perfect jaw indicated he was pissed.
She would have loved to piss him off further, but she didn’t want to use Herb as a pawn. It wouldn’t be fair. He’d been a good friend to her and had given her a job and a career when she had desperately needed one. “I would’ve loved to, but this weekend doesn’t look good. It looks quite awful, actually. Plans that I really am forced to honor. But let’s talk after that, okay?”
Herb gave her a nod, shot Cade an assessing look, and then backed up.
“Nice to meet you, Herb. Watch your step there,” Cade said as Herb bumped into one of the craft tables.
The second Herb left the room she marched around from her desk to face Cade. He wasn’t looking too pleasant even though he had the common sense to try and give her a fake smile. “What was that all about? That is my colleague. I haven’t told the entire staff about…my life before I started teaching here. I don’t want gossip and I don’t want to have to explain my ex-husband to everyone.”
“I didn’t intend to embarrass you or create gossip,” he said with a gentleness she hadn’t expected. She had assumed he’d fight back. His eyes warmed and he looked genuinely remorseful. “I just reacted to threatening prey.”
She rolled her eyes. “It was rude and embarrassing and—”
“Not that I found him that threatening. I know for a fact chinos and short-sleeved dress shirts with ties aren’t really your thing.”
She was not going to smile. Not. Going. To. So she threw an eraser at him.
He laughed and that wide, teasing grin and the eyes that flashed with humor was too irresistible and she found herself smiling. “You’re awful.”
“C’mon. Get your things and let’s get out of here. You can tell me all about the painful, awful plans you have this weekend.” He held out his hand and she was struck by the sight of the wedding band. The thin gold band gleamed in the sunlight. She hadn’t noticed it yesterday. Her throat constricted painfully and she stared at it, remembering the day she removed hers, the day he left.
“You okay?”
She nodded repeatedly and forced a calm look on her face. He was still holding out his hand. She cautiously placed hers in it. The second she did, his fingers intertwined with hers and the familiar feeling of his larger, warm hand in hers sent a shive
r of awareness through her. They walked through the corridors and out the back door of the school to his parked car.
Minutes later he pulled out of the parking lot, a slight smile on his lips.
“Should I ask where we’re going?”
“Nope.” She studied his profile. He hadn’t changed much. He did have a few creases around his eyes when he smiled, and he had filled out slightly, that rangy leaner form now more muscular, suiting the power that he exuded. He drove them into town. She watched the play of muscles, the flexing in his forearm, as he shifted gears. They drove in silence and after a few minutes she realized they were headed to the pier. He circled a few times until he found a spot close to the merry-go-round. Of course she’d been here many times since…then. But she hadn’t been here with him. Crowds of people lined the sidewalks and that was her least favorite part of summers in a tourist town.
“Ice cream?” he asked, meeting her beside the car.
She nodded and again he grabbed her hand and they made their way through the throng of people. Every now and then he put his hand on the small of her back as he let her go first when the sidewalk became too narrow.
“Do you still like the double scoop of triple fudge?”
She nodded. She hadn’t had it since him. There were certain things she’d always associate with him and triple fudge ice cream was one of them. How many times had they eaten it together? How many times had he gone out while she’d been pregnant to get her some? She glanced over at him, remembering everything he’d done. The words he’d whisper to her, to their baby. He’d been heartbreakingly sweet and tender with her. He’d been strong. He’d been everything she’d ever wanted in a man, until it had all gone wrong. Then she’d wanted no one, no one except their baby would have made it right, and she knew that wasn’t his fault. Even when he left, she knew it wasn’t right, but she didn’t have the strength to fight.
He ordered for them, and soon they were walking on the pier as though they still did this almost daily. The air was warm; it wasn’t a scorching day, but a perfect summer day. The sun was shining and there was a tiny breeze coming off the lake. Sailboats came and went and scattered across the lake in the distance. Kids fed the ducks and chased the seagulls.