“Why?” Katie shook her head. “Because I love Mia. She’s been there for me in ways that I can’t even begin to tell you… she has pulled me through shit and hurt and trauma that I can’t talk about. So, now I’m helping her. At least, I hope I am.”
“You’re not sure?”
“No. I’m not.” She sighed. “The thing is, Nick, I think you made a mistake. God knows, I’ve made mistakes in my life and most of them can’t be undone. I guess I’m hoping that this mistake you made is one that can be undone. I’m hoping you can fix this.”
“Nick?”
He turned. Mia was standing there in pyjamas and bare feet. She looked small and broken and – worst of all – that amazing light had gone out of her.
His gut twisted. A good part of that is my fault. I should have been there when she needed me… I could have stopped it from happening.
“What are you doing here?”
“I asked him to come,” Katie said.
“Why? Why would you do that?”
“Sweetie, I have done all that I can to help you… I think what you really need, you can only get from Nick. I think you guys need to talk. OK?”
Mia studied him, took in the shadows around his eyes and his haggard face.
“Mia, if you really can’t or don’t want to, you don’t have to,” he said. “I’ll go.”
“No. I think you and I do have a few things to sort out. It’s OK.” She smiled at Katie but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll call you later.”
Katie put on her coat and boots, gathered up her stuff, hoping to God that she had guessed right. Katie was still furious at Nick – she’d cheerfully kick his ass – and in Katie’s personal experience, men were useless assholes. She, Reena and Maggie had been with Mia through everything: Tom’s arrest and the cops saving all those kids and the investigation.
But despite their best efforts, Katie knew that Mia needed something that only Nick could give her, and that made him important. Essential, even. Mia needed him there with her, needed to be held in his arms. And now here he was, his arms wide open.
It amazed her to think this, but really, she hoped the two of them could work it out. She hoped that Mia would accept what he was offering. She hoped Nick would help Mia heal.
She shut the door behind her and they were alone. They looked at each other, taking in all the obvious signs of damage and distress and sleeplessness.
“Sit down.” Mia sat on the sofa and gestured at the chair across from her.
Nick sat, struggling to find the right words to say.
“How have you been, Mia?”
“OK. It’s been… rough.”
“Your head?”
“Fine. No permanent damage.”
“I – I’m sorry. I should have been there when that guy grabbed you… I should have stopped him.”
“Well. You were busy.”
He looked at her and saw the pinprick of anger in her beautiful eyes.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… that woman was a huge mistake.”
She regarded him, silent.
“The truth is, I wasn’t with any other women when I was with you.”
“No?”
“No. I lied.”
“Why?”
“God, Mia.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I freaked out. That’s all I’ve got… I just freaked out.”
“About what?”
“About the fact that I love you.”
She stared at him, her eyes huge. “You what?”
“I love you. I realized it that last time we were together and I – I just ran.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered.
“I don’t know now. At the time, running just seemed like the logical thing. I mean, it made sense for me to dive straight back in to how I had behaved for a decade… one-night-stands and meaningless flings. It was easier, somehow, than telling you the truth. But now… now I don’t understand what the hell was going through my head.”
“So – so you never cheated on me?”
“Never. That woman that I kissed was the first. I promise you.”
“I wish that you had just stayed and talked to me, Nick.”
“Me too. I wish that every day. I wish… well, I wish a lot of things.” He met her golden eyes. “I miss you, Mia. So much.”
Silence.
“So, I just came to see you and tell you I’m sorry and to say that I love you. And I hope that you’ll be OK soon. If you need me, I’ll do anything you ask.”
“I won’t be.”
“You won’t be what?”
“I won’t be OK soon.”
“What do you mean?”
She was quiet for a minute.
“I’m not stupid. I know that the world is a hard place. I know all about how it tries to break things and people – I saw that in Asia and I saw it with my parents and I saw it with what happened to Katie.” She almost seemed to be talking to herself and Nick held his breath. “I get it, I really do. I may be an optimist and a believer, but I’ve never forgotten that life is unfair and cruel and heartbreaking sometimes. That bad things happen for no reason at all, that people can be monsters.”
She looked at him. “But something about this one, Nick… something about knowing that Tom was going to work every day and staring in to the faces of kids who had been abused and raped and exploited and then he was turning around and working to protect the very people who did these things. He took money. He lied to the police. He… he…”
She fell silent again.
“I just don’t know what to do with that knowledge, I don’t know how to move past it. I think it’s killing me.”
“What can I do, Mia?”
“I don’t know. All I know is I need your help. I need you here right now.”
That’s when he saw her tears. “Mia, don’t cry. Please, babe.”
He went to her then and did the only thing that he could think of to do: he opened his arms and he felt nothing but relief when she moved in to them. Her body fit against his perfectly; she was made to be right where she was. He closed his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mia. I’m so sorry.”
She nodded, feeling like she was suddenly in the safest place in the world. “I know you are. I believe you.”
They sat quietly, just settling back in to each other’s bodies. In most ways, it seemed that they had never been apart: every breath and curve and groove was so familiar.
She pulled back. “Can you come back to me tomorrow?”
Nick stared at her, his heart pounding. “Are you saying that you… you’ll take me back? Give me another chance?”
“I’m saying that I’m inviting you for coffee tomorrow morning. I’m saying we’ll talk. I’m saying we’ll see.”
“We go back to the beginning? Start again?”
Mia smiled. It was merely a ghost of her old smile, the one that had always stunned and touched him with its beauty and sweetness, but it was a start.
“Yes,” she said. “Back to the start.”
“OK,” Nick said. “OK. I can do that.”
Chapter Ten
Three weeks later
“I don’t know, Nick.” Mia shook her head. “I’m not sure about this.”
He took her hands. “It’s a beautiful spot, Mia. Quiet and peaceful. Jake says that lots of people have found it healing.”
“Who’s Jake?”
“We went to the same high school, played on the same football team. He was a couple of years ahead of me, but we stayed in touch. He works at a ranch and hotel.”
“Where is this place?”
“At the foot of the Rockies. Jake’s girlfriend is the owner and she’s already booked us a cabin for a week.”
“This sounds expensive.”
“You let me take care of that, babe. OK?”
She was silent.
“You’ll rest and sleep and get stronger, Mia. Maybe if you get a change of scenery, you’ll even start to write again.�
�� He smiled. “Maybe that literary fiction novel you’ve been thinking about writing for the past four years.”
“You think so?”
“I hope so.”
“And we’ll – we’ll share a bed?”
“Only if you want to. I already told you – that happens when you’re ready.” He touched her cheek and she felt his incredible strength even in his fingertips. “Until then, I’m happy to wait.”
She took a deep breath. “OK.”
“OK? We’ll go?”
“Yeah, I’ll try it for a few days.”
He exhaled. “Alright. I’ll let Jake know we’re coming. We leave tomorrow.”
**
Mia looked through the kitchen window at Open Skies Ranch. It was the most amazing place she’d ever been.
Julie Everett, the owner, was watching Mia carefully. According to Jake, the woman had been through something recently and God knows she looked it. Mia was hurting, somewhere deep down inside, and Julie hoped that being in the middle of such calm and beauty would help.
“So,” Julie said gently. “You and Nick can do what you want. If you want to order in food from the restaurant, you just let me know, OK? I’ll arrange it for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Any questions?”
“No. I think I’m good.”
Mia looked around again and saw the vase of flowers on the living room table. She smiled. “Sunflowers…”
“Yes,” Julie said. “Nick called ahead and requested them specially.”
“He did?”
“Uh-huh. He said that they’re your favorite flowers.”
Mia’s eyes filled with tears.
“I know you don’t see this now, Mia, but you’re going to be OK.”
Mia looked at her, wishing she had Julie’s calm certainty. “How can you be sure?”
“Oh, hon… this place has seen so many hurts and troubles and it’s worked hard to heal every single one of them. It’s weird, but I get the feeling that Open Skies is near the town of Clarity for a reason.”
Mia blinked. “Clarity?”
“Yep.”
To her surprise, Mia giggled. “That’s amazing. I’ll take it as a good omen.”
“You do that, sweetie.” Julie saw how Mia’s face had already brightened just a bit. “You do that.”
**
Jake Weston looked at Nick. He was watching Mia and Julie through the window, his face hard and set. Jake knew that expression well: he was sure it had been on his face when Julie had told him about her childhood and when Vicky’s ex-husband had hurt Julie so badly. He had seen it on Phil’s face in the hospital as he waited for Vicky to come to after a beating that had damn near killed her. It was the look of a man on the edge of losing it.
“Can I give you some advice?” Jake asked.
Nick’s eyes jerked to his face. “Uh. Sure.”
“Things happen to the women in our lives. Bad things, things we have no control over, no matter how much we want to have some control. And when those things happen to them? It makes us furious… like completely fucking enraged. I get that, Nick.”
Nick nodded.
“But when we get that angry – it makes us unpredictable and volatile and hard. And it scares them, you know. It makes them think twice about being able to talk to us and lean on us. They feel like… we’re going to explode at any second and they think they may get in the way. They may be collateral damage.”
“I’d never hurt Mia.”
Except that I did hurt her. Badly. Not physically, but that hardly matters, does it?
“I know that, man. But if she looks at you and sees that much rage just sitting there, bubbling and simmering below the surface? She’s not going to know that.” Jake smiled gently. “And right now, she wants to look to you for something safe and steady. That’s what she needs… way more than your rage at the people who hurt her.”
Nick looked through the window again. “I know. It’s just – it’s hard to look at how badly she’s been hurt and scared over the past few weeks and not want to strangle someone. That guy Tom almost got her killed and he hurt all those kids… I just want to beat something to death.”
“I know, Nick. So, listen. When you feel all that anger and frustration? You come see me or you call Adam. OK? And when you feel calm and steady again, you go to her.”
“Yeah?”
“Hell, yeah.”
The door opened and the men looked up. Mia and Julie stood there, so lovely and fragile and strong, and both men smiled at them, loving them.
“So, we’re off. If you two need anything, you let me know,” Julie said. “OK?”
“OK,” Nick said. “Thanks, guys.”
“Thank you,” Mia said softly.
They watched Julie and Jake walk away to the Big House and then looked at each other.
“You go on inside, babe.” Nick reached out slowly and touched her cheek. She closed her eyes and sighed.
“OK,” Mia said. “You’ll come in soon?”
“A few minutes. I promise.”
She nodded and went in to the cabin.
Nick looked around Open Skies, taking in the rolling beauty and huge space. He listened to the silence and felt calm and centered for the first time since he had left Mia’s place that night, running from his feelings.
He looked through the window again. She was sitting on the sofa now, staring at her hands. She looked alone and frightened and something moved in his chest. But this time, he didn’t feel the weakness of anger; he felt the strength of loving her and wanting to be there for her. He looked up at the huge sky, the blue that went on for what seemed like forever, and he took a deep breath. The mountains stood there, so close and solid and dependable, a physical reminder of what Mia needed him to be right now.
OK, Nick. Let it go; let all the anger go, at least for right now. She needs you.
Nick opened the door and went to in to the warmth and light; he went to Mia. And this time, she fully let him in.
Excerpt from ‘Fighting Strong’ (Fighting For Love #2)
Dear Reader,
I very much hope that you enjoyed meeting a new cast of characters in ‘Fighting Hard’ (Fighting For Love #1). As a thank you for your support, here is a short excerpt from the next book in the series, ‘Fighting Strong’ (Fighting For Love #2).
**
Katie Lloyd hung up the phone and stared out the window. She was seconds away from a full-blown meltdown and she fought to keep her cool. The secret to staying in control, she knew, was to break things down in to small, manageable bits.
OK. One thing at a time; one step, then another. So. I need to get there. I need to get there fast. For that, I need a car. Reena and Maggie don’t have cars. So, I need to get my car back. For that, I need to call Mia.
There was a major problem with this last part of the thought process, though, namely, that she had no idea where the hell Mia Ferris was. All Katie knew was that her boyfriend Nick Spencer had taken her away for a week somewhere quiet and calm to recover from her beating at the hands of a pimp and pedophile.
Even more than a month later, Mia was still in terrible shape and Katie had offered Nick the use of her car to avoid the hassle of public transport and the stress of crowds. On Katie’s own insistence, Mia had left her cell with Katie so that Mia could just relax and forget about the world. That was a great plan, or at least it had seemed so at the time – but now she had no way to call her friend. Worse, she knew that Nick had left his behind too, so she couldn’t call him either.
Goddammit, Katie. Think, think.
OK. If nobody knew where Mia was – and Katie was sure that their other close friends Reena Mackay and Maggie Branson also had no clue – then maybe somebody knew where Nick was. Who did Katie know in Nick’s life?
As the most obvious person occurred to her, she groaned.
Really? Dear God, anybody but him.
The face and body of Adam Pierce popped in to her mind and she huffed in
disgust. Not that Adam was disgusting to look at: huge and muscled and strong, with ice-blue eyes and dark hair and an incredibly hot number of tattoos, he was quite the opposite of hard on the eyes. But he was arrogant and annoying and pissed Katie off royally. She had taken some pictures of him at his gym and he had been nothing but dismissive of them since the word go. But he was also Nick’s business partner and so he was her best bet to find Nick and Mia.
OK, wait. Call a car rental place. Voila! Problem solved!
Except problem not solved, as it turned out. There was a huge real estate fair in Denver that week and every car was rented out. Her heart in her throat, she waited while they checked availability in Colorado Springs and Boulder too, but they reported back with regret that they had nothing for her. Calls to three other car rental places yielded the same dead end.
Her thoughts turned to Adam again.
Shit. OK, call the jerk.
Katie picked up her cell phone and scrolled through the phone book, looking for The Rock Fighting Club. She dialled and stared out the window some more.
“The Rock. Gavin speaking. How may I help you?”
Gavin. The Rock manager. Nice guy, she recalled.
“Hi, Gavin. This is Katie Lloyd… I don’t know if you remember me but –”
“Oh, sure I do.” His voice was warm. “The photographer.”
“Right. Listen, I’m sorry to be so rushed, but I need to speak to Adam right away, if he’s there.”
“Yeah, he is. Hang on a sec, OK?”
“Thanks.”
He put her on hold and she counted her breaths. Come on, come on.
Gavin put down the phone and waved at Adam. His boss was in the kitchen making a cup of coffee and he came over right away.
“What’s up, Gavin?”
“Katie Lloyd is on the phone for you.”
“Oh, awesome. Tell her I’m busy, OK?”
“The thing is, she sounds kind of panicked.”
“She does?”
“Yeah. You want me to put her through to your office?”
“I guess so. Thanks.”
**
Adam Pierce sighed as he walked to his office. The thought that Katie Lloyd – that amazingly difficult personality – was on the other end of the phone line was not a welcome one.
Fighting Hard Page 10