by Marie Medina
Lorne fixed his gaze on Eva, a lump forming in his throat. He worried about Eva all the time, and before meeting her, he’d never cared if anyone aside from Davin liked him or not. Seeing her holding Davin’s hand and smiling at him made Lorne realize that he didn’t simply like Eva. He cared for her, which was why her fear and dislike stung so much. He turned his gaze away, as he knew it would never matter which girls he liked or didn’t like. Though a prince and his yabito were destined to share a bride, the choice always fell to the prince. And it would be years before Davin would be asked to make that choice, so Lorne knew he had to keep his heart guarded until then. Only on his prince’s wedding day would it be safe to open his heart to anyone but Davin.
* * * *
Davin rubbed his forehead as he went into Lorne’s bedchamber. Lorne lay on his stomach reading, but he rose as soon as Davin approached the bed. “My prince?”
“My headache has returned. I can’t sleep.” He pressed his fingers to his temples, taking a deep breath.
Lorne put his book aside and moved to the middle of the bed. “Come lie down.”
Davin stretched out on the bed and rested his head in Lorne’s lap. Lorne began to massage his temples and hum a light, airy tune. Davin had been burdened with severe headaches every since he was three, and his mother had done this for him when she’d been alive. Lorne’s touch soothed him in the same way, much to his surprise.
“Even though Eva was sad before, without her parents, she would still prefer to be in her world,” Davin said, closing his eyes.
“It was her home. It’s understandable,” Lorne said.
“I wish I could send her home. It would make her happy. And I wish I could find a wise woman, like the princess in the poem did. I’d bring back my mother. And your mother. I’d bring back Eva’s parents.”
“And the world would soon be overrun if everyone could be brought back,” Lorne said with little emotion.
Davin opened his eyes and looked up at Lorne. His yabito’s dark eyes revealed so little. “I know, but I miss her.”
Lorne stopped massaging the right temple and stroked Davin’s cheek with two fingers. “Of course you do. Just as I miss my mother.” He resumed, moving his fingers in slow circles on Davin’s skin. Lorne cared for him so much, and Davin didn’t understand why he was so cold and emotionless with others. No, Davin corrected himself, not emotionless. Lorne had an amazing talent for expressing anger and annoyance. To Lorne, it seemed, only Davin and his father were above reproach. Even when Davin did do something wrong, Lorne corrected him gently and showed great patience, something he never did with others.
Despite Lorne’s flaws, Davin felt better simply being in his presence. “May I sleep in here tonight?” Davin asked.
“You know you don’t have to ask,” Lorne said, changing his movements to caress Davin’s forehead.
Davin sighed. “But I don’t want to order you. It means more when I ask and you say yes.”
“I’ll always say yes.” Lorne’s hands fell away after a final, lingering caress, and then he pulled back. “I’ll make some tea to help you sleep.” Lorne stood, but then he leaned over and kissed Davin’s forehead before leaving the room.
Davin rubbed his temples and stared up at the ceiling. After a few moments, he gave up and rolled to his stomach and pressed his face into the blankets. The sheets smelled like Lorne, and the darkness helped a little as well. After Davin had walked Eva home, he and his father had taken a walk in the gardens and talked. His father had asked about Lorne, which had embarrassed Davin, at first. Then his father had told Davin about his own yabito, Bas, who had died a year before Davin’s mother. Davin remembered the quiet man, but only vaguely. His father had explained how much he’d loved both Bas and Davin’s mother, Malina.
That’s why he never took a new queen or a new yabito. For the first few years, people had talked of little else but whom the king might pick, yet by the time Lorne had been picked for Davin, the talk had died away. Davin turned to his side and studied the pattern of the blanket beside him. He’d had a hard time answering his father’s questions, but he hoped he had made it clear that Lorne made him happy. His father had smiled and seemed especially pleased when Davin had said he found Lorne handsome. He’d longed to ask his father when he and his yabito had become lovers, but even thinking about it had made his face grow hot.
I’m still too young. Lorne probably doesn’t even see me that way yet. Lorne certainly seemed to admire him, but Davin doubted Lorne had any desire to touch someone as skinny and awkward as he was. Lorne was so strong and muscular, so masculine, especially for someone his age. Davin had grown taller, but it had only made him ganglier. He also had more delicate features and had often been mistaken for a girl until recently. Lorne loved him—Davin could feel it more every day—but it was not that kind of love. To Lorne, Davin was someone to look after and care for.
“My prince, are you all right?”
Davin rolled to his back and saw Lorne standing over him with a cup of tea. He hadn’t even heard Lorne return. “Yes.”
“You look troubled.”
If he told Lorne he’d been wondering if they would ever fall in love, Lorne would probably laugh dryly and say that Davin should not be worrying about such things yet. Davin sat up and took the offered cup. “I’m simply tired.”
Lorne poured himself half a cup and sat on the bed beside Davin. “This will help you sleep.”
A thought drifted into Davin’s mind. “May I train with you tomorrow?”
Lorne blinked a couple of times but soon recovered. “Yes, any time you like.”
“You move so stealthily. I didn’t even hear you come in.”
Lorne gave a slight smile. “I was trying not to make noise. But I’d like for you to come. You’re old enough to start, I think. I’ll teach you to fence. To meditate, focus your strength.”
Davin smiled, happy at the thought of spending even more time with Lorne. “You’ll beat me at fencing.”
“I’ll be instructing you. You trust me to teach you other things.”
“Of course.” Over the past three years, Lorne had taught him many things indeed. For whatever reason, Lorne thought Davin would make a good king one day, but the idea worried Davin most of the time.
Lorne didn’t say anything else, seeming to get lost in his own thoughts. Davin always wanted to ask him what was on his mind when his eyes took on that faraway look, but he never did. They finished their tea, and Lorne set the tray aside, close to the door. Davin climbed into bed and burrowed under the covers, trying not to stare as Lorne stripped and dressed in a pair of simple, loose linen pants to sleep in. He did not wear a matching shirt, as Davin did, and when he climbed into bed, Davin rolled to his back and averted his eyes. His father had warned him when he was ten that he would at times feel awkward around Lorne as they both grew up, but Davin hadn’t fully understood it until now.
Lorne rolled to his back as well, but his hand found Davin’s under the sheets. “You can tell me anything, Davin,” Lorne said softly.
Davin smiled despite his sudden nervousness. He loved it when Lorne called him by his name. “I was thinking that I know I’ll sleep better in here.” He squeezed Lorne’s hand and looked over at him. “That’s how things are when you’re around. Better.”
Those had not been his exact thoughts, but they were as close as he dared.
Lorne lifted Davin’s hand and kissed it, and then he let their hands rest on top of the covers. “That’s exactly how I feel.” He sighed and turned his head, closing his eyes. “Wake me if you need anything.”
I have everything I need already. With that thought, Davin closed his eyes, his headache soon easing enough that he fell asleep. Dreams of the future filled his mind, but the vague visions didn’t compare to the happiness he felt waking the next morning to the feel of Lorne’s arm resting protectively across his chest.
* * * *
Eva hacked at the dirt with her small spade in yet another atte
mpt to loosen some of the rocks. Nika came and knelt beside her to look.
“Maybe we should pick another spot of shade for these flowers,” Nika said. She reached out and touched the soil. A brush of her fingers revealed even more rocks. “Could put a little rock garden here. Make little patterns with them.”
“And some garden gnomes,” Eva said.
Nika’s eyebrows went together. “What?”
“Um … little short people with funny pointed hats. Back home, they’re used to decorate gardens.”
“That sounds cute. Maybe the stonecutter could make some.” Nika stood and put her hand out to help Eva up. She glanced around. “There, the little corner by the kitchen window where the wall sticks out to connect to the fence. We can line a little plot with stones.” She moved off. “They’re still stones in the wheelbarrow.”
Eva went to the little corner and began yanking weeds up. Then she began in the corner to clear the patchy grass. Nika wheeled the stones over and pulled out her own spade to help.
As they worked, Eva tried to build up her courage. When they began placing the stones, she said, “I’ve been thinking about going to school soon. Davin said I would like it, and King Urzen told me one of the teachers could come see me before I start so I can ask her questions.”
“That sounds like a fine idea,” Nika said. “You’ll learn more about our world. Might make you feel more at home. You’re already so smart I think you’ll do quite well.”
“I hope so. Some things are different. Science and everything.”
“Science? That’s a new one.”
Eva searched her brain, but she’d yet to run across an Elari word that meant the same thing. “The way nature works. How these flowers grow. That stuff. There are just some things that are different. Like snow.”
“Snow?” Nika said as she dug a hole for the first flower to go into.
Eva nodded. She picked up the tiny clay pot and gently eased the small flower out, careful of the clump of dirt around its roots. She placed the plant in the hole and watched Nika pat the dirt down. “Frozen rain. Like fluffy little clumps of ice. I was reading about weather, and I saw nothing about snow.”
“Must get cold there, if rain can freeze.”
“It does. Summer is very hot, and winter is extremely cold. You can’t go outside without lots of extra clothes. Here season are marked by differences in light, not heat. I’ll have to relearn those kinds of things.”
“Sounds awful. I love being outside. I wouldn’t like months of cold.”
“I like being outside too.” Eva sighed as she readied the next plant. “In a way, it was my fault. Ending up here.”
Nika kept working, but she raised her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I asked to go camping, and my foster parents had plans most weekends. They finally had a free one, but it was supposed to storm. They said if we didn’t go that weekend, we wouldn’t have time again until it was too cold, so I said I didn’t mind if it rained. They had a camper.” She paused, thinking how to explain. “A sort of covered vehicle, much bigger than a cart. I got bored and went outside. Then the storm came, and I got lost.”
“And then I found you?” Nika asked after a long silence.
“Yes. I should have just sat quietly and read, like they suggested. But I wanted to be outside.”
“It’s not your fault. They could have changed their plans, could have paid attention to the storm coming and kept you inside. It sounds like they didn’t appreciate what they had. You’re a very good girl.”
“They were both doctors. Something was always going on. They took me in because it looked good. This charity or something that worked with the hospital suggested it.” She shrugged. “There are lots of unwanted children in my world.”
Nika stopped and put her hands over Eva’s to make her stop too. “You’re wanted here. I’m glad I was the one to find you. My little Ana would be happy that room isn’t empty anymore.”
“She was so pretty.” Miniature paintings of Nika’s daughter sat all over the house. She’d had bright red curls like her mother. There were no pictures or anything of Ana’s father, so Eva didn’t ask about him.
“Yes, she was.” Nika began working again. “There are more of her books in the spare room. Maybe we can find a history book. Then maybe talk to the teacher? Get her to come?”
Eva smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.” She readied the next flower.
“It was kind of the prince to walk you home.”
Eva tried not to blush. “Yes, it was.”
“Where did Lorne get off to?” Nika asked.
Nika liked to talk about Lorne, but Eva had no idea why. “He stayed behind. I think he and the king had something to discuss.”
“Lorne has lots of responsibilities on his shoulders. For one so young.”
Eva thought about that. “Yes, he does.” Fifteen was young, considering all the tasks he had to do. Every time she saw him, he was doing something for someone else. She repositioned on the ground to take the pressure off her left knee. “He told me he’s half goblin.”
“Yes, his mother was one. But he looks like his father. And his mother was fair, her skin a very light blue.” Nika gave Eva a glance. “Did it surprise you?”
“Yeah, it did,” Eva said. “I’ve probably hurt people’s feelings, haven’t I? Being scared of goblins, I mean. I was kind of startled, and Lorne seemed bothered.”
“Maybe he was. I don’t know. Lorne’s hard to understand.”
“He is. The prince is nice.”
“Oh yes, he’s very sweet.” Nika gave her yet another glance. “And so is Lorne, if you give him a chance.”
Eva didn’t say anything, and they worked in silence until all the flowers were in place. As they moved to another part of the garden, Eva looked to the road, hoping she might catch a glimpse of the prince and Lorne, as they often walked around the village in the afternoon. But she didn’t.
* * * *
Lorne gazed around his bedroom, surprised Davin wasn’t there. But then a sigh from the balcony caught his attention. Lorne pushed the curtains aside and went out to sit beside his prince.
“There you are,” Lorne said as he moved closer. “Are you all right? You’ve been pensive the past few nights.”
“I’m thinking about the future. Father and I were talking again today. When I’m king, so many people will expect me to have all the answers and know what is best. How will I be able to do it?”
“You’re only thirteen. By the time you take the throne, you will know all you need to know. It’s the reason you spend a good part of the day with your father, watching and listening. And study other things children your age do not.”
Davin repeated, “Children my age.” He turned to Lorne. “Children?”
Lorne didn’t understand, but soon the look in Davin’s eyes made more sense. He reached out and grasped Davin’s shoulder. “The next few years will be hard. Growing up is a rocky journey.”
“It didn’t seem rocky for you. You’re only two years older than me,” Davin said, his tone petulant.
“I had to grow up fast. You know that. Mother was sick, and my father had another … woman. He was rarely home, and when he was home he smoked anka root all the time.” He loosened his grip. “And then I became your yabito. My maturity made me stand out to your father. I took this responsibility seriously and tried to never let you see any of my struggles. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“So, I’m a responsibility? And I need to be shielded from serious things?” A deep frown marred his face, and his eyes seemed to glisten in the low light.
Making Davin turn to face him, Lorne said, “Something is going on with you. What is this really about?”
“I just worry about the future.”
“Don’t. You’ll do well, and I’ll be with you. Your counselor, your friend, your—”
“Lover?” Davin cut him off, even though he said the word softly.
“Of course.” Lorne
put a finger under Davin’s chin. “Does that trouble you?”
“I want to be good enough to earn your love.”
Lorne’s hand fell as the words hit him. “My prince, you know I love you.”
“I’m not talking about that kind of love.”
“I see. You’re becoming curious.” Lorne had known this day would come soon, known that Davin would have questions before long.
Davin looked away. “Not about that.” He fidgeted a bit and glanced back. “Well, yes, about that, but it’s not my primary concern.”
“It’s all right to be curious, but you’re still very young. It’s fine for you to sleep in my bed, but other things … they’re for another time.” When Davin didn’t speak, Lorne asked, “Is this why you were upset? You worry I see you as a child?”
Davin nodded.
“I don’t.”
Davin gazed up at the stars as they came out, the sky growing darker. Lorne waited, accustomed to Davin’s way of working through problems.
After a time, Davin said, “I know I’m young, but I love you, Lorne.” He touched Lorne’s chest, just over his heart, and he pulled Lorne’s hand to place over his. “I want your love to be something I earn, not something I’m owed because of who my parents were.”
Lorne’s heart pounded in his chest. Before he could stop himself, he was rambling, “You don’t have to say these things. You have years to decide. I’ll be by your side as long as you want me, and I’ll always help you and protect you and—”
Davin put his hand over Lorne’s mouth and stared at him. They studied each other a long time, and eventually Davin let his hands slowly drop. Lorne’s hand still rested on Davin’s heart, and Davin placed his hand over it. “I’ve never seen you flustered before. Never.”
Lorne considered keeping silent, but the look in Davin’s eyes told him it was safe to open his heart. “I love you too, but I don’t want you to make promises before you’re sure. I would never want you to feel obligated to me. Your honor is one of the things I love about you. You’re kind and always think of others. I don’t see you as a child. You’re a beautiful young man, and the idea of a future with you makes me happy.”