by Peter Nelson
Abbie let out a sigh. “Okay,” she said. “See? Chupacabra’s gotta be dead. He crashed and burned up in the Arctic somewhere.”
“Why didn’t we pick up a signal where he crashed?” Jordan asked.
“Landed on his belly,” she said. “Or whatever was left of it. Blocked the signal.”
“How’d the tracker get to China?”
“Easy. Some large seabird swooped by, picked herself up a charred chunk of Chupa, flew southwest, and dropped it. Tracker popped out, provided a signal that showed up on our map. Mystery solved. Chupacabra dead.”
“Ew,” Ed said. He looked a bit pale.
Jordan turned to Eldon. “Any thoughts on my sister’s theory?”
“Pile of poop,” Eldon said.
“Excuse me?” Abbie spat.
Eldon pulled out and presented a long-handled tool with an open-mouthed scraper at the end. “Pile of poop! That’s my theory.”
“Wait,” Abbie said. “What is that? Because it looks a lot like a—”
“It’s a T-549,” Ed said. “Standard-issue midsized cryptid pooper-scooper.”
“And what the heck is it for?” Abbie said.
“Scooping poop, dearie.” Doris smiled. “Another mystery solved.”
Jordan looked from the pooper-scooper to Eldon. “So if Abbie’s right, my tracker is still inside Chupacabra’s dead, decaying carcass. But if you’re right, it’s—”
“It’s not,” Eldon said. “Because he pooped it out.”
“Which would mean he could still be alive.” Jordan swallowed. “And . . . he could be anywhere.”
“No way,” Abbie said again. “I saw that thruster incinerate that creep.”
“Well, there’s only one way to know for sure,” Eldon said. “Our Elite Keepers need to go and check it out.” He shoved the T-549 standard-issue midsized cryptid pooper-scooper into Abbie’s hand. She shoved it back at him.
“No, no,” she said. “This isn’t what I signed on for.”
“Eldon’s right,” Jordan said. “We have to confirm that Chupacabra’s dead. And if he isn’t—” Jordan looked down at the shiny gold CK badge that Eldon had given him and his sister when they were officially promoted to Elite Keepers. He took the T-549 from Eldon and held it up proudly. “Abbie, this is a high-priority, top secret recon operation. And it’s exactly what we signed on for.”
“Fine, I’ll go. But let’s not kid ourselves. We’re being sent to clean up doo-doo.”
Jordan smiled at his sister. She smirked back at him. “But I’m pretty sure your first priority, little Einstein, is to invent an explanation for Mom and Dad as to why we’re suddenly flying off to China.”
Ding-dong! The upstairs doorbell rang over the CKCC loudspeakers.
Eldon smiled slyly. “Sounds like someone’s at the door. Maybe you two had better go upstairs and see who it is.”
3
Jordan and Abbie snuck back up the basement stairs, cut through the kitchen, and made their way down the long hallway toward the front door of the house. As they approached, they could see their mother welcoming someone with big hugs and cheery greetings. Their father bowed robotically, as if he were doing some weird ab-crunching workout. He turned when he saw them coming. “There you are! Jordan! Abbie! Come meet your replacements!”
Jordan and Abbie looked at each other as Mr. and Mrs. Grimsley stepped aside. Standing in the doorway, dressed in Badger Ranger uniforms, were a girl and a boy, about sixteen, both with similar features. Very similar features.
“They’re twins!” Mrs. Grimsley blurted out. “All the way from Japan! This is Katsu and Shika . . . Ashooky? Am I pronouncing that correctly?”
“Asukoh,” said the boy, Katsu. He bowed while staring at them intensely. Jordan had read somewhere that in Japanese culture this was considered an insult. And he got the distinct feeling that this was exactly Katsu’s intention. The girl, Shika, seemed friendlier. She glanced downward as she bowed, revealing a tiny turtle backpack on her back. Then she rose back up, smiling apologetically.
“Asukoh, yes,” Mrs. Grimsley said. “Please forgive me.”
“Katsu and Shika are part of the Badger Ranger Exchanger Program,” Mr. Grimsley said. “They’re here to be exchanged with you! Isn’t that something?”
Jordan and Abbie were equally confused. Shika noticed. She stepped forward and winked at them. “You know, the exchange program. Master Ranger Bernie is parking the car. He will explain and help you to understand, I am sure.”
CRASH! Outside, a small red convertible sports car was crunched up against the front gate. Behind the wheel was Bernard—a very large, very poorly disguised Skunk Ape, wrestling with an inflated air bag that had shot out of the steering wheel. He gave a thumbs-up to everyone.
“I’m okay!” he called out.
Bernard lived in the Okeeyuckachokee Swamp and was the first cryptid Jordan had ever met. Eldon was technically his Keeper, although Jordan had often wondered who really took care of whom. Bernard was very independent-minded, and quite sophisticated for a cryptid. He enjoyed doing lots of human-type things, from scuba diving to playing the tuba. He especially loved operating large, fast, and potentially dangerous vehicles. He also seemed to leap at any chance to shave off as much of his thick, smelly black fur as he could, stuff his oversized body into one of Eldon’s old Badger Ranger uniforms, and pretend to be a human.
“Ranger Master Bernie!” Mrs. Grimsley greeted the patchily shaved Skunk Ape lumbering up her walkway. “How lovely to see you again!”
“Hey there, big guy!” Mr. Grimsley briskly shook Bernard’s thick paw-hand. “How’re things in the great wilderness?”
“Great!” Bernard said. “Couldn’t be more wildernessy, thank you.” He turned to Abbie and Jordan, who were staring at his way-too-small khaki shorts. “So. I trust you Badger Ranger Exchanger Rangers are all, uh, Badger-ready to go?”
Jordan and Abbie looked at their parents. The proud grins on the faces of Mr. and Mrs. Grimsley told them all they needed to know.
They turned to the twins. Shika grinned at them oddly, then suddenly burst into tears. Katsu quickly put his arm around her and stiffly comforted her, while glaring at Jordan. “Please excuse my twin sister. She is emotional from our long journey, and a little homesick. But she will be fine.”
The girl nodded and smiled through her tears. HONK-HONK! The red sports car diverted their attention outside again. Bernard had somehow run back down, pushed the car off the gate, and was back in the driver’s seat, revving the engine and waving for them to hurry up.
Jordan and Abbie kissed their parents good-bye, tossed a few items in their backpacks, and a few minutes later were pulling away from their grandfather’s house, Bernard behind the wheel. As Jordan and Abbie looked back, they could see their father already talking to the Badger Ranger Exchanger Rangers about home improvement.
“Those poor twins,” Abbie said. “He’s probably asking them what they know about bathroom grout removal.”
Jordan turned to their stubbly-shaved chauffeur as he drove them out of the Eternal Acres development and turned onto the bumpy, pothole-filled Ingraham Highway. “Bernard, Katsu and Shika seem very nice, but we’re needed in China, not Japan. You know there’s a difference, right?”
“Please. I’m well-studied in all geography, including that of the eastern hemisphere.” Bernard suddenly veered the little car off the road, straight into the thick, tangled swamp.
“How are you on the geography of where you’re driving right now?” Abbie yelled as branches and vines slapped her and her brother in the face and head. Bernard jerked the wheel left and right to avoid crashing into the giant cypress trees or nose-diving into the muddy pools that dotted the Everglades.
“Where are we going?” Jordan hollered.
“Into the swamp,” Bernard shouted back. “It’s a secret way to the boathouse.”
“I didn’t know there was an access road into the boathouse from out here.”
“Th
ere isn’t! That’s what makes it so secret!”
A minute later, Bernard fishtailed the car into a clearing deep within the swamp, bringing the wild ride to a sudden stop. He unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out. “Here we are!” Abbie and Jordan rolled out of the car onto the ground. Their faces were scratched and covered in mud, their hair tangled with twigs and branches.
“On your feet, Elite Keepers!” Eldon’s voice called out from a hidden boathouse where the Okeeyuckachokee met the shore of the bay. Inside was the Creature Keepers’ modest collection of vehicles. Parked near the foot of a long dock was the Heli-Jet, a very slick and modern-looking chopper-airplane hybrid. Bernard began tossing their gear into the aircraft’s side cargo door as Eldon stormed up to him. “What have I told you about driving in the daytime? Keep defying me and you’ll be on your way to getting your privileges revoked, buster!”
Before Bernard could open his mouth to defend himself, a muffled, echoey, high-pitched scream was heard from a large cypress-tree stump nearby. A false top popped open like a hatch, releasing a whoosh of air, followed by the Asukoh twins. They came flying out of it, followed by Doris. The three of them tumbled onto the soft, mossy ground, rolling to a stop at Eldon’s feet.
“Ha!” Doris laughed as she stood up. “That pneumatic transport tunnel connecting the boathouse and the command center was a marvelous addition, Jordan! And such a time-saver!”
Jordan helped Shika to her feet. “I should’ve designed it to be a little less terrifying,” he said to her. “Don’t feel bad. First time I tried it, I screamed, too.” Shika giggled and shook her head. Then she gestured with her eyes at her twin brother, who was blushing and breathing heavily. “Oh.” Jordan tried to give Katsu a hand, but he just glared at Jordan as he stood up on his own.
“Where are Mac and Nessie?” Jordan asked. “Aren’t they coming with us?”
“The desert isn’t ideal for Nessie or Mac, geographically speaking,” Bernard said. He picked up Eldon’s pack and threw it rather carelessly into the hull of the Heli-Jet. “On account of Nessie being a giant water cryptid, and the fact that Mac gets sunburned really easily.”
Nessie, of course, was the Loch Ness Monster. Mac was Alistair MacAlister, her red-haired, pale-skinned Scottish Creature Keeper. They were both fun to have on an adventure, and Jordan had hoped they’d be coming along.
“And what about Kriss?” Abbie asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Kriss was the West Virginian Mothman, who was also very useful—not to mention shy, dark, and moody, traits that Abbie happened to admire very much.
“The three of them are out in the field,” Doris added. “In addition to our little wandering tracker-collar mystery, the GCPS map has been showing a small breakout of wandering cryptids near the northern coast of the Indian Ocean. We picked up their signals earlier, and are getting confirmation from local sources. The South African Grootslang was seen swimming up the coast of Madagascar. And the Australian Bunyip was spotted standing on a beach a bit north of Perth, just staring out over the water. Definitely weird, but nothing Kriss, Mac, and Nessie can’t get to the bottom of.”
“Let me get this straight,” Abbie said. “You’ve got multiple cryptids doing Jordan’s weirdo walkabouts, but you’re sending us Elite Keepers to go poop-scooping in the middle of nowhere?”
“Mac, Nessie, and Kriss can return the cryptids home before anyone spots them,” Eldon said. “I need you Elite Keepers to help me with a potentially far more dangerous situation—and to find out if the two are somehow related.”
“Besides,” Bernard said, “if they’re having any trouble, we can help them out. We’ll just be on the other side of the Himalayas.”
“I just hope you fly a little more cautiously than you drive,” Abbie said.
Eldon gave Bernard a disapproving look, and Bernard turned away in a huff to finish packing up the Heli-Jet.
“This is an all-hands-on-deck situation,” Eldon said, looking at the Asukoh twins. “Katsu and Shika, I know you’ve made sacrifices by coming here to help. And I promise you, Morris will remain safe in his inanimate state.”
“Morris?” Jordan turned to Katsu. “Who’s Morris?”
The boy grunted, crossed his arms, and turned away.
“Morris is our cryptid,” Shika explained. “The Kappa. And we were asked to leave him all alone.” Tears began to well in her eyes. She walked off toward the shoreline.
Jordan stepped closer to Katsu and held out his hand. “Hey, I didn’t know you were a Keeper,” he said, holding out his hand. “Me too. Well, sort of.”
Katsu looked at Jordan’s Elite Keeper badge. Then he looked down at Jordan’s hand as if he were made of slimy snot. He sneered and turned away again.
Abbie watched this, then walked down to the water, where Shika was standing alone.
“Hey,” Abbie said. “Your brother’s not a very happy guy, is he?” Shika shook her head no. “I can totally relate to that,” Abbie continued. “And I can only imagine how hard it must’ve been for you two to leave your creature all alone.”
“Thank you, but that is not why Katsu is so angry,” Shika said softly. “He doesn’t think your brother is worthy to be a Creature Keeper. He considers your brother to be . . . a brainless toad.”
Abbie glanced over at Katsu. “Your brother and I have a lot in common,” she said.
Shika began to cry quietly. Abbie looked at her, unsure what to do. She awkwardly put her arm around the girl. “Uh—there, there. Don’t do that. It’ll be okay. I promise. Just, y’know, stop it.”
Shika looked up and smiled with tears still in her eyes. “Will you see that Morris is safe? He is so helpless and alone. Please, promise me you will make sure he’s okay when you are done collecting the Chupacabra droppings.”
Abbie stared at Shika, then looked over at the Heli-Jet, where Eldon was handing Bernard the T-549 midsized cryptid pooper-scooper, as well as a box of industrial rubber gloves. She looked back at Shika.
“You have my word.”
“Thank you!” Shika hugged Abbie. “I knew when I saw you we would be BFFs!”
“Okay. No need to hug,” Abbie said stiffly. “And BFF really isn’t what this is.”
“C’mon, let’s move out, Elite Keepers!” Eldon yelled to them from aboard the Heli-Jet as Bernard fired up the silent rotors from inside the cockpit.
Abbie wriggled free from Shika, who frantically rummaged through her turtle backpack. “Wait,” she said, handing Abbie a book. “This is for you. Just in case.”
“Abbie!” Jordan called out as he was boarding the Heli-Jet. “Let’s go!”
Abbie ran and jumped aboard the Heli-Jet just as Eldon was sliding the door shut. She buckled in as they began to lift away from the swamp, and peered out the window at the people on the ground below. Doris waved. Katsu glared jealously. Shika was jumping up and down. Abbie looked at the book in her hands. It was titled, Raising and Caring for Your Kappa. She glanced around to make sure no one had seen it, then quickly slipped it into her backpack.
4
The Heli-Jet cleared the knotty tree line of the Okeeyuckachokee Swamp and hovered there for a second as Bernard ignited its massive jet engines. Then it blasted across the sky. Jordan sunk back in his seat and felt the power of the rockets, thinking to himself that there’s no way they couldn’t have incinerated the Chupacabra to ashes. He pulled out his mobile GCPS tracker and checked the dot representing the tracking bracelet on the screen’s map. It was still there, south of the Gobi Desert, pulsing faintly, motionless.
Jordan began flipping through his grandfather’s old journal. There was something that had bothered Jordan since he first met Chupacabra, a feeling he could never put his finger on. Now with the possibility that the creature might be gone, Jordan was beginning to untangle what it might be. Chupacabra had never believed that Jordan’s grandfather was dead. He even thought that Jordan himself was actually George Grimsley in disguise, just as so many Creature Keepers had been old people hiding in pla
in sight as their younger selves. Jordan knew that Chupacabra’s hunger for revenge and his desire to kill his grandfather had something to do with this crazy idea. But Jordan also had an odd fear that there might be something else Chupacabra knew about his grandfather, something that Jordan might never learn if the creature was dead. As the Heli-Jet zoomed eastward on its overnight flight, Jordan drifted off to sleep, holding this thought in his head, and his grandfather’s journal tightly in his arms.
“Apple juice?”
Jordan opened his eyes to see Bernard standing over him wearing a strange plastic hat. “We’re over the Xinjiang territory,” the Skunk Ape said. “We should be approaching the drop zone soon. It’s all desert down there, so it’s important to stay hydrated.” Bernard’s hat had a cup holder with an apple juice box on either side. Straws from each box curved down into the sides of the Skunk Ape’s mouth. Spelled out in big block letters across the hat were the words “THIRST AID.”
“This is my hands-free beverage helmet,” Bernard said proudly. “Allows me to enjoy refreshing beverages while keeping my paws on the controls. Cool, right?”
Before Jordan could answer, Eldon sat down next to Jordan and took an apple juice from his creature. “I don’t know where you got that thing,” he said. “But if you’ve been sneaking out again for shopping trips in that little car of yours, you’re in big trouble, buddy-boy.”
Bernard rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, marching back into the cockpit.
“You’re being a little hard on him, don’t you think?” Jordan said. They both watched as Bernard confidently hopped into the pilot’s seat and sipped from his hands-free beverage helmet. “I mean, what are you so protective about? He’s such a responsible guy.”
“He’s not a guy,” Eldon said. “He’s a cryptid. My cryptid. And yes, while he knows a lot about the human world, that’s exactly the kind of curiosity that killed the Skunk Ape.”