by Lucy Lambert
She could only hope that she left him with an ache of equal magnitude.
When she pushed herself off from the table, Gwen discovered that her knees had been replaced with jelly sometime in the last few minutes.
"That was..." Gwen said, starting to stoop over to collect her pants but deciding against it when she realized that if she moved any farther she'd be on the floor, unable to stand back up under her own power.
"I don't even know what that was..." Aiden said. He stood behind the couch, holding onto it for support.
Fresh, clean sweat glistened on his cheeks and brow, and his recent exertions had given his face a swarthy flush.
"I meant it, though."
"What?" Gwen replied.
"Everything that I said to you. Both before and during."
Gwen wished that those moments of eternal bliss that he led her into could actually be eternal rather than simply feeling that way. That way she wouldn't be where she was now, one secret still stashed deep at the back of a cobweb-filled closet.
"I still need to say something to you," Gwen said.
"Whatever it is, it can wait," Aiden said, coming and taking her hand. He only looked slightly more steady on his feet than she felt.
"It can wait until when?" Gwen said, following him on shaky legs.
"Until after a shower," he replied.
He led her into the bathroom. They didn't exactly have a lot of clothes left on to strip out of, either. And soon Aiden held her bare body against his while steaming water sprayed down onto them from the showerhead, washing away the sweat they'd built up earlier as well as the stuff they worked up there. It wasn't a particularly productive shower. Not for the purposes of getting clean, at least.
***
They sat at a small, circular table for two down at the hotel restaurant, waiting for dinner to arrive.
Every time Aiden closed his eyes, he received flashes of what they'd just done together. Two bodies moving together. Heat. Desire. It was all very primal and basic.
Maybe that was why he couldn't stop himself from holding Gwen's hand, or from smiling every time she looked his direction. She looked great, incredible, radiant. And Aiden still couldn't quite believe that she belonged to him now, and the opposite, of course. Or would, soon.
He kept running his thumb over the engagement ring, hoping that she liked it, wondering if maybe there might be an even better one out there to grace that lovely finger of hers.
Although he also thought that maybe he kept paying so much attention to her because she'd been so quiet ever since they got out of the shower. She'd told the waiter what she wanted and then said nothing since.
He liked to think that maybe that was a result of his prowess as a lover. That he'd satisfied her so deeply and so well that she simply saw no need to ruin that perfection by putting words to it.
However, Aiden also knew that you never got ahead in life, whether business or personal, by making yourself see only what you wanted to see. To be the person he was, he needed to see things the way they were, not as he fantasized them.
And right then, his pragmatism told him that while she clearly found his bedroom skills on par or better, that wasn't the cause of her silence.
"It can't be that bad," Aiden said.
She blinked at him. "What?"
"Whatever you're holding back from me still. It can't be as bad as you think it is."
Gwen glanced around the restaurant. Aiden followed her line of sight as it skipped from the waiters and their silver trays to the mirror-backed bar to the raised dais at the one end with the reserved seating.
"You can't know that. You don't know what I'm thinking," Gwen said.
"Then maybe I'm just a little bit psychic, because I think I do."
She snorted at that. It was nice to see a bit of the old Gwen back. "Now that I really doubt."
"So why don't you try me? Tell me what it is, and I'll be the judge."
"Can I make this a trial by jury instead?"
He shook his head. "No, now come on. Out with it."
She picked up her water glass and drained it. Slowly. When she finished, she looked at it forlornly, mourning the lack of liquid procrastination.
"Time's up. No more distractions. Tell me."
Aiden had to admit to himself that all this made him more than a little nervous. Just what could bother her so much that she actually seemed afraid to tell him, especially after that incredible impromptu encounter they just shared?
"Okay," she said, swallowing heavily. She tried pulling her hand out from under his, but he held on tightly.
"Do you remember that night I stormed out on you? After the dinner disaster with my parents?"
"Well, it was only a couple days ago, so yes. How could I forget?"
"Thank you, Captain Sarcasm. Moving on," Gwen said, "Anyway, I stormed out and I forgot my purse. So I didn't have my wallet or my key or anything. So I wandered around and ended up at this little bar like ten minutes or so from here. I was angry at you, at me, at mom and dad..."
She took a deep, shuddering breath. Aiden gave her hand a supportive squeeze.
"Ben was there. Reporter Ben, the one you don't like. He was nice. He bought me a drink. He insisted on walking me home, because it was dark out. And then, outside the hotel doors, he kissed me... Oh, Aiden, he kissed me, not the other way around. I didn't want him to, I told him not to, but he did it anyway! It's been tearing me up inside."
"Oh, I see," Aiden said.
"Please tell me how you feel," Gwen replied. Aiden realized that he'd been sitting still for a good thirty seconds since her revelation. It was an old pattern, one he'd put to use since he'd been a child.
Emotion was weakness. A way for people to take advantage of you. Henry had scolded him that way any time he cried, every time he behaved like a child, really. And since then, he always let the armor come up. The placid shell around the stormy core.
And it was quite the storm inside him at that moment.
Gwen had been one of the first people to really break through that armor of his, and he thought that he really didn't have much of a need for it anymore. Yet, he thought, here it is again. He'd trained his mind and body to go there for such a long time he didn't even need to think about doing it. It just happened.
Part of that storm included anger, betrayal. Thoughts like How could she do this to me and I am going to kill that guy invaded his mind. However, other thoughts tempered those more primal ones. He could see written across Gwen's face how much this hurt her, how much pain it caused by trying to hold it in.
He also believed her when she said that it was Ben who'd been the instigator of said kiss.
Besides, he also knew how hypocritical any anger or jealousy of his was. It took embarrassingly little effort to recall how Catherine looked in her lingerie while sitting on his lap, the weight of her body pressing down against him. And Gwen had even warned him about his supposed friend's true feelings for him.
Aiden grabbed up his water glass, the walls of the vessel slick with condensation, and gulped it down. It helped quench the heat he felt inside.
"Sir?"
The voice dragged him back to reality, and he looked up into the pointed face of their waiter.
"More water, sir?" the man said, hefting the chilled bottle for emphasis, "Your meal will be delivered shortly."
"Thanks," Aiden managed. Both he and Gwen sat quietly while the waiter refilled their glasses, the splash of the water temporarily crowding out the sound of conversation around them.
"I'm sorry," Gwen said, interpreting his silence for anger.
And then Aiden noticed that he still gripped her hand. This whole time, through her little confession and his internal reaction to it, he never let go. It told him all he needed to know.
"Don't be," Aiden said, "I believe you. I still have this desire to wipe the grin off that man's face with my knuckles, but I think that speaks to where I'm laying the blame."
"You're... not mad at me
?" Gwen said. Her hand tensed up against his.
"I think that these past few days have been pretty incredible, even by our high standards. We've both had some pretty... interesting things happen to us. What do you say to the two of us forgiving each other our sins and concentrate on being engaged instead?"
"That sounds like a plan to me!" Gwen said, finally smiling at him. He'd been waiting for that smile, silently wishing for it. Sometimes he thought that smile of hers was all he really needed to be happy.
"Your food, sir, madam," the waiter said. He and another man placed the steaming plates down on the table. Aiden's mouth watered at the smell of the steak. It felt like he hadn't eaten for a week.
They'd just begun to eat when another look of concern twisted Gwen's face and she put down her knife and fork.
"About being engaged," Gwen said, "I think I may have done something bad."
Aiden set his utensils down as well. "What is it?"
Gwen became bashful, then, staring down into her lap. A few strands of her long hair came dangerously close to touching her food. "I sort of yelled at Judith today. She made me go to high tea with her at some old building downtown and we got into a fight. It ended with her telling me that I can't marry you. Which she told me right before I stormed out."
When Aiden laughed Gwen, and everyone at the tables nearby, looked up. He hadn't meant it to be so loud, but he couldn't help it. He caught his breath and dabbed at his lips with his napkin.
"I don't think it's so funny, Aiden. What if she uses it to say I've violated the agreement? What if that butler of hers is waiting outside our room right now to tell us to go meet with her so she can punish us for what I did? Hey! Stop laughing!"
Aiden did his best to comply with her wishes, putting his napkin up to his mouth again. Except then he replayed what she said in his head and another round of chuckles wracked his body.
Gwen's mouth set into a thin line and she frowned at him, her frustration mounting.
Aiden calmed himself once more, smiling at the confused patrons sitting around them before leaning towards his irritated fiancé.
"I'm sorry. All this, it's too much. It's getting ridiculous... Actually, it’s well past ridiculous. I wish I'd been there to see it. The last time I remember Judith actually raising her voice to someone, it must be almost twenty years now. Did her face get all red?"
"Yeah, it kinda did. I thought..."
"Her head was about to pop right off?" Aiden finished for her.
"Totally! You should have seen the looks on the faces of the other proper ladies there..."
They both laughed then at the ridiculousness of it all. So much so that the maitred' actually came over to ask them if everything was all right.
They both soothed their scratchy throats with some water. "But seriously, what about Judith? What do you think she's going to do?"
"I don't know, and I don't really care, either. Because I know that we'll be able to beat her. If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that I'm going to marry you, Gwen. And no one, not even Judith, is going to get in the way of that."
Chapter 19
They went back up to the suite satisfied and happy. Gwen clung to Aiden's arm, her head resting against his shoulder. The whole ride up the elevator, she held him like that, closing her eyes to better concentrate on the feel of him, the nearness of him.
"Hey," Aiden said, waiting for her to open her eyes and look at him, "I love you."
"I love you, too," she said.
They kissed for the remainder of the ride up, not stopping until the elevator halted with the slightest of shudders and the doors opened. Then Gwen held his hand as they sauntered down the hall.
For once since Judith had so abruptly come and upset their lives, Gwen felt normal and happy. She loved Aiden and Aiden loved her back. It was that simple.
This was another moment she wished could go on forever. This moment of walking down the hallway with the gold-numbered doors passing by on either side, just the two of them alone together.
She concentrated on the sensation of the cool air rushing past her face, on the freshly-cleaned smell, trying to commit all this sensory information to memory.
"Why do we have to complicate things so much, do you think?" Gwen said.
"Are we talking everyone in general or just the two of us?"
"Both," Gwen replied, grinning when Aiden sighed and shook his head in mock exasperation.
"I believe it was Einstein who said that it's easy to make things more complex and complicated," Aiden said after giving the matter some thought. "And that it is difficult to simplify things."
"We make things hard on ourselves because it's easier than making them easy?" Gwen said. It had a sort of backwards logic that made sense.
"I suppose."
"Okay, but what about the two of us? Why do we, specifically, seem to make things complicated and difficult for us?" Gwen said.
"Well, I wouldn't exactly say it's all our fault. First there was Henry. Now there's Judith..."
"Actually, first there was that contract you convinced me to sign. Remember when I told you that you didn't have to do that? That I would have said yes if you'd just asked me out like a normal person? That definitely made things more complicated. For both of us," Gwen said.
Aiden sighed again, this time not in mockery. "I could have, yes. But would I have been able to keep you around after you saw just how crazy my family is without a signed contract between us? That, I don't know."
She poked him in the ribs for that one, making him flinch and chuckle at the same time. "I wouldn't be so sure of that. You are awfully handsome. I'm willing to put up with a lot for handsome."
"Then I suppose I'm lucky you think so," Aiden said.
Gwen kept looking up at him, taking in his nice cheeks, that strong jaw of his, those eyes that always seemed able to look straight through her. And he was tall. She couldn't leave out the tallness. A hint of stubble also peppered his face, the day wearing on as it had, giving him something of a rugged aspect.
Her mind couldn't help but to think about the light prickle of that stubble she'd experienced if he kissed her. Her thoughts followed the well-worn tracks of touching leads to kissing, kissing leads to more inappropriate touching, which dovetails so nicely into nudity. And nudity could lead to only one thing. Especially if it was Aiden’s nudity in question.
"Hey, what do you think of spending the night in? Just the two of us?" Gwen said.
"Well, actually," Aiden said, glancing at her. It started as a glance, at least. It turned into more when he saw the way she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth and then let it slide out slowly. "You know, staying in sounds excellent to me. A nice, quiet night..."
It wasn't even night yet, though. The sun still poked in through the window at the end of the hall. Hours of daylight remained,
Neither of them cared.
"Very quiet," Gwen agreed. They both began walking more quickly.
"A nice, quiet night in bed. Maybe get some pay-per-view," Aiden continued. He tugged the knot of his tie loose and popped the button on his collar.
"Such a nice bed," Gwen said, "So soft and comfy. And it doesn't even squeak, either!"
"Are you sure about that?"
They had just about reached their door, but apparently Aiden couldn't wait to get started. He pressed her against a patch of wall between two doors and kissed her, his knee pushing between her legs.
When he started to pull away, Gwen grabbed his tie and urged him forward again. His hands crept towards places on her body that you weren't supposed to touch in such a public place.
"I don't think they have a bed out here," Gwen said. Despite her complaint, she didn't try and stop his hands from doing what they wanted. She could barely hear her own thoughts over the rush of blood past her ears.
"How unfortunate," Aiden said, "Why don't we go check and make sure our bed is still where it should be?"
"And then we'll check it for squeaks?" she asked
, unable to keep her lips off his again. His stubble did prickle her a little, just like she wanted it to. She wanted to feel that prickle all over.
"Thoroughly," Aiden replied when he could. He took her by the hand, both of them suppressing the urge to run the last few lengths down the hall. By the time they arrived at their suite, Aiden gripped the keycard.
"What's that?" Gwen said.
There was already something in the lock's card slot. Aiden frowned, pulling it out. It was a piece of folded paper.
Seeing that doused Gwen's fires. A shot of coldness moved up from her stomach, spreading into her chest. They looked at each other, both knowing the source of the note.
"She certainly knows how to kill a mood. I'll give her that," Aiden said.
Gwen leaned against the wall, experiencing withdrawal from her desires. Another complication, she thought.
"Yeah, she's definitely an expert. What does it say?"
"Do you really want to know?" Aiden asked, "We could always leave it for a while. There's no way she could know when we'd be getting back to see it."
That tempted Gwen. And she tried to rekindle her desires, she really did. But it was like the old witch had cursed her, because she couldn't. The powerful procrastinator lobby within her appealed, arguing that there wasn't anything wrong with pushing reading the note back a few more hours. A few more hours of blissful ignorance.
Gwen had grown tired of procrastination, however. It was exhausting, always putting things off for the longest possible time. Often it required more effort than doing what you should have done in the first place, as she had so recently discovered with not telling Aiden about Ben right away.
"Read it," she said.
Aiden nodded in agreement, then unfolded the paper, the whisking noise of it loud in the quiet hall. He scanned it quickly.
"Well?" Gwen said, impatience replacing procrastination.
"We have another assignment, should we choose to accept it," Aiden said, pausing for dramatic effect, "All of us, your parents included, must be dressed and ready by 10 PM this evening."
"Dressed and ready for what?"
"It doesn't actually say here. Just to be ready. Suits for the men, dresses for the ladies... It's quarter after six now," Aiden said, jerking his left wrist to expose the face of his watch.