“Okay. We’ll talk later.”
She hugged Hannah goodbye. “If there’s anything in the box you don’t want, you can check with your brothers.”
“I will.”
* * *
NICK PARKED HIS SUV and gazed across the fields of Freedom Farm at the array of colors splashed along the horizon against a vivid blue sky. The counterterrorism case he’d worked had been brutal, all consuming, and satisfying. Days passed, turning into weeks. Then October was ending, sliding into November. A stiff breeze met him as he got out, tearing leaves from the maple near the barn and sending them flying.
He hadn’t seen Mia in way too long. He figured it might have been easier to cut off his arm. Only the hurt in her eyes could have made him stay away. That and his own lingering fear that he would bring her more.
His Mia had never been afraid before. She’d fallen in love with abandon. It was his fault she was afraid now.
So he’d given her the space she asked for, but he didn’t know how much longer he could wait. He needed her. To touch her, kiss her, make her smile. That’s what he wanted more than anything else, to make Mia smile again.
In a way, the time apart was good, a forced easing into things. They’d jumped that first night at his house. Then when he’d made love to her at hers, it had been more about comfort than her choosing and trusting. And that’s what he wanted, her trust. It might have taken him these months to be sure he could have it without hurting her, but he was sure now.
In addition to that, his sister was getting married, God help him. At least McKinney’d had enough sense to discuss it with him before popping the question.
Nick stepped into the barn just in time to see Stephen lip-locked with Hannah. He cleared his throat.
Stephen turned, and the two men exchanged nods. “Detective.”
“Not a detective, and do you always have to be here when I’m here?”
“I was just thinking the same thing,” McKinney said. “And I was here first.”
“Boys, boys.” Hannah moved from her fiancé to hug her brother. “Hey. I didn’t know you were back.”
“For a day.”
“How’s the case?”
“Good. Just about wrapped up. I’m just here to report. Should be completely finished in another week.”
“That’s good. I missed you. See what happens when you’re not standing over my shoulder every second?” She hugged him again and kissed his cheek before pulling back.
Stephen held up a bag. “I’ll put your lunch in the office. I also brought my fiancée lunch,” he added with a smirk at Nick.
“See how sweet he is? He’ll sit in there, make some calls so you and I can talk.”
“Yeah. So sweet. Everything good?”
“Yes. Good and busy. Wedding plans and—oh my gosh!—Halloween. You should have seen Halloween at the McKinneys’.” She laughed. “Or maybe not. It was kind of insane, in a good way. You remember Gracie, Matt’s daughter. I think you met them here once.”
“Yeah.” He’d seen her—a five-year-old with curling pigtails and hot-pink boots she loved to clomp on the wood floor. And he remembered the way Matt swung her into his arms.
It seemed Hannah was always talking about the McKinneys, what they were doing, a birthday party, or an outing. And why shouldn’t she? She’d slid right in, and he knew she loved every crazy, loud minute. She finally had what he’d always wanted for her: a horde of women who would be sisters. And McKinney’s mom, who treated her like she was her own.
“She was a bunch of grapes, and her costume was all these purple balloons, which Jack couldn’t help but want to pop.” She laughed softly. “Guess you had to be there.”
“Sounds cute.” He hadn’t thought about having children of his own in a long, long time. Not since he was with Mia. Since she’d told him about the baby they lost, he thought about it all the time.
His heart clenched. If his and Mia’s baby had been a girl, she’d be almost eleven years old now.
Would she have had dark eyes and hair like Mia? He would have loved that. He’d have brought her out here, taken her riding, maybe bought her a little horse of her own. Taught her to ride a bike and taken her fishing in the little stream that ran through the woods. He didn’t even know if there were fish in there, but that wouldn’t have mattered. Or maybe they’d have had a boy, he thought with another pang. He might have had a son.
Everywhere he looked, there were kids running or women with babies. Men at work talking kids or pregnant wives caught his attention. Even watching TV was a constant reminder. He imagined those were all painful reminders for Mia as well. Like the world around her refused to let her forget what she’d lost. Their baby, then again with Savannah. He wished he’d gotten a chance to meet her. Hold her and see Mia holding her.
Hannah looked at her watch. “Give me a minute. I need to get Hazel ready for my next appointment.” She took a nylon halter from the hook beside her and walked out the back of the barn.
He started to follow until he heard McKinney exit the office behind him.
“She wants us to be friends,” McKinney said, coming to stand beside him.
“Friends is pushing it.”
“That’s what I said, but that’s what she wants, and I want her to be happy.”
Nick gave him a sideways glance. “Like I don’t?”
“Trust me. I’m no more happy about it than you.”
“As long as you know if you hurt her, I’ll kill you.”
“As long as you know you’d have to kill me to get me to let her go.”
“Mmm.” While he did have a growing respect for the man, Nick wasn’t going to go out of his way to let him know that. Better to keep him on his toes. “We’re going out for a drink later.”
“Who’s ‘we’?”
“Me, Luke, Zach, if he can make it. And you.”
“That doesn’t sound like an invitation,” Stephen said, spearing him with a look.
“You’re about to marry my sister,” Nick said, looking right back. “It’s not.”
“I guess I could do that. Hannah’s doing a girl thing. Some special after-hours-champagne-dress-try-on party.”
“A shopping party when you already know what you’re buying?”
Stephen shrugged in shared male bafflement.
“Aww. Look at you two talking,” Hannah said, coming back with a small gray horse. “Makes my heart swell.”
Nick would have sworn McKinney took a deep inhale of breath, like just seeing his fiancée filled him with the air he needed. He could tolerate the man for that alone. That’s how it was with Mia. At the thought of her, he breathed through the tightness in his chest.
“I have to go.” Stephen kissed his sister deeply right in front of him.
If he was trying to get under his skin, it worked.
“I put your drink in the fridge. The food’s on your desk.”
Hannah tipped her face up to him for another kiss. “You’re too good to me.”
“Never.”
On that, at least, they agreed, Nick thought.
“Miko’s at seven,” Nick said.
Stephen nodded then, with a smirk, passed him on his way out. “Later, detective.”
Hannah watched Stephen go then turned and narrowed her eyes. “Do you have to do that?”
“Do what?”
“Puff yourself up every time you see him?”
“I don’t puff up.”
“If you stuck your chest out any farther, you’d grow antlers and start bumping like moose.”
“You’re my baby sister. What do you expect me to do? And why am I getting in trouble? He just kissed you right in front of me.”
“I know. He did. We do other stuff, too,” she whispered.
He pressed his fingers to his eyes to block out any images. “Don’t.”
“Don’t be mean to him,” she shot back then lifted a finger before he could speak. “Miko’s?”
He grinned. “Just being friend
ly. McKinney can take care of himself. It’s my job to let him know I’m watching.”
She rolled her eyes, went into the tack room, and came back with a bucket of tools. Brush, hoof pick, other stuff he had no idea about. She went to work with the brush first. “Mia was out earlier.”
“Really? I was planning on going by before I went back to Maryland.” Planning to and fighting the knot in his gut, because if he was honest with himself, and really, he might as well be, he was terrified.
There was so much between them, both trying to figure out all the twists and turns. Too much between them to jump halfway. She was right to go slow. What they’d had, what they were trying to get back, was no small thing. You didn’t date or dance around it, not when you’d had what they’d once had. A once-in-a-lifetime love, if there was such a thing. For him there was.
He loved her, every cell of his body belonged to her, and the thought of her saying she didn’t love him, didn’t want him…It was almost more than he could take. Another reason he was giving her time and space. Because he was afraid.
“She brought me some old pictures she thought I might want,” Hannah said, lifting the horse’s back hoof. “She said the two of you had talked.”
He rubbed Hazel between the ears, and she lowered her head in ecstasy. “Yeah. We have.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
He let her get away with the ‘nothing,’ lost in his own thoughts for a moment, looking at Hannah here in her element. He’d had plenty of time to think over the past months. “You know, Mia wanted to send you to a place like this. She thought you’d be better off. A recovery place, outdoors, with horses and…” He laughed, not feeling at all funny. “That’s exactly what ended up helping.”
“Yes.”
“So she was right,” he said, fighting more guilt. “You could have gone sooner, could have healed sooner, but I couldn’t let you go.”
Hannah set Hazel’s hoof down gently and looked at him. “Do you really think there was one right answer? One right moment to do the right thing? You never gave up on me. You were always there.” She came around to stand in front of him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and looked up, smiling. “You brought me back, Nick. And now look where I am.”
“Yeah.” He returned her hug and smile. “Now look where you are.”
“Okay. No more sappy.” She released him and stepped back to Hazel. “Go finish catching your bad guys so you can come back and bug me more often. And be good tonight.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Chapter 22
THE DRESS SHOP WAS white on white. Who knew there were so many varying shades of that colorless color? Carpet, walls, furniture, dresses. Even the cookies artfully arranged on a white dish that sat on the whitewashed coffee table in front of the white leather couch were white. But it was beautiful. Serene.
“Sorry,” Mia said, rushing over to hug Hannah where she sat. “Traffic.”
“You’re not late. We’ve just been having a cookie, or four.”
Lizzie, Sarah, and Abby sat on the couch, looking like pretty flowers rising up from the snowy room. They’d scheduled a special after-hours fitting so Beth could come. Dr. Beth McKinney was Stephen’s oldest brother’s wife. But in the end, she’d had an emergency at the hospital and hadn’t been able to make it.
The only other color in the room came in the form of the two women who worked there. One in bright pink, the other in sunny yellow. So they could find each other in the white cloud of a store, she imagined.
They wasted no time and whisked Hannah into the dressing room, returning five minutes later.
“Okay, ladies, behold your beautiful bride.”
Mia lifted her eyes and nearly gasped at the image in front of her. It was breathtaking. Hannah was breathtaking. She’d seen her in so many ways over the past twenty-four years, but this was just… beyond. “Hannah.” She could only shake her head. Lizzie, Abby, and Sarah were doing the same.
Hannah wiped her eyes. “Stop, you guys, you’re going to make me drip.” The sides of her hair were lightly pulled back and secured with a small pearl headpiece. The rest tumbled over her shoulders and down her arms in shiny golden waves.
She swiped a finger under each eye, beaming at herself in front of the mirror like she couldn’t believe it. After all she’d been through and overcome. Mia felt swamped with love and pride and awe. “Turn around. Slowly. Let us gawk.”
Hannah turned, and they oohed and ahhed. Mia could honestly say there’d never been a more beautiful bride.
“I hope Matt’s ready to catch Stephen, because he may not survive this,” Abby said, turning the tears to laughter.
“The flower girl dresses are here, too,” the woman in bright yellow said.
There would be five flower girls. Hannah refused to leave anyone out.
“And your dresses,” Hannah said to them, sniffing again.
“We’ll try them on after you,” Abby said.
“Wait. There’s a different veil I wanted to try.”
“I’ll get it.” And the woman in pink was off.
The one in yellow brought out the little-girl dresses, and they fussed over those.
“How are your brothers holding up?” Sarah asked when Hannah returned.
Hannah stood still while the shop owner attached the new veil. “Luke is quiet and cool, as usual. I’m not sure if he’s glaring when I mention Stephen or if it’s just his permanent expression. Zach’s biggest dilemma is choosing who to ask, and I’ve threatened him with great bodily harm if he brings more than one. The last thing I need is a cat fight on the dance floor. And Dallas… we’re not sure Dallas will be able to come.”
“I’m sorry,” Abby said.
“It’s okay. I worry he’s doing something dangerous, more dangerous than normal, but it’s okay. I know he’d be here if there was any way.”
“And Nick?” Lizzie raised her brows, waiting. “Should we even ask?”
“Well, Stephen is still alive, so that’s a good sign.”
Mia thought she did an exceptional job of faking a soft laugh, not letting anyone see that her heart still thumped painfully against her chest when she thought of him. If things had been different, she might have had her day in white. She would have gladly given herself to Nick. Why had she wanted to wait? What had seemed so important at the time—her work and his, finding the perfect time for a honeymoon. It seemed so unimportant now. But if they’d been married, the outcome might have been the same.
No. If they’d been married, she never would have left. But they were practically married. Did that mean she shouldn’t have left? Would they have been married and continued to live as they’d been living? With her on the outside, trying desperately to make Nick love her again? She wouldn’t have survived that. Not looking into Nick’s eyes every day and seeing him looking back at her like she was a stranger.
Happy day, she reminded herself. Hannah’s day. Just three weeks away from the day. She stood to adjust the new veil. This one hung wider, covering more of Hannah’s hair. They were just getting into the pros and cons of each when Abby froze where she stood at the flower-girl dresses, her face twisted in pain.
“Abby?”
Abby sucked in a breath. “I… I’m okay, I’m—” She sucked in air, her hands holding her belly, which was already big because of the twins. But not big enough. She wasn’t far enough.
Mia eased Abby to the carpet, not missing the spot of blood seeping through her pale pink pants. The shop owner was already calling 9-1-1.
“Call Matt.” Abby’s teeth were clenched, her face a grimace of pain and fear.
Lizzie already had her phone out.
Abby’s lips were pulled thin and strained, but her eyes were filling with tears.
“Just breathe, Abby. Nice and easy.”
Abby’s hand was clammy, her grip strong. The ambulance wailed in the background for what seemed like forever.
&
nbsp; Just when Mia thought it was almost there, it sounded far away again. “Breathe,” she said. “You’re going to be okay.”
“I can’t lose the babies.”
“You’re not.” Mia squeezed Abby’s hand.
Hannah was pale and wide eyed. All the white serenity of a wedding dress shop was gone in an instant.
Shit.
“Oh God.” Sarah, repeated the phrase in shock or prayer or both.
“It’s okay. Hold on to my hand.” Mia checked Abby’s pulse.
Lizzie had Matt on the phone. She could hear his deep voice and Lizzie losing her cool. “I don’t know. I don’t know!” She was crying now. “The ambulance is here. They’re here. What hospital?”
“Saint Charles,” the female EMT answered, kneeling at Abby’s side.
Lizzie relayed this info to Matt, and Mia caught Lizzie’s eyes.
“Tell him to hurry.”
MATT BURST INTO THE ER waiting area like an animal. Wild-eyed and dangerous, he demanded to speak to somebody, everybody. Luckily, the oldest McKinney brother, Tony, intercepted him, saving a young nurse from the wrath of a man gripped by fear. Matt was taken back, and things settled.
Mia wondered what it felt like to be loved like that. No—she didn’t have to wonder. She knew. If she quieted her mind, slipped back in time, she remembered, because Nick had loved her like that.
Other family arrived quickly, and the waiting room filled. An hour passed with no news. So much family, she thought, glad for Hannah’s widening circle of love. If she and Nick couldn’t handle each other, it might affect her relationship with Hannah, but she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Hannah’s relationship with her brother. Wouldn’t do anything that would make Hannah’s life harder.
Another pocket of commotion went up across the room. She turned to see Stephen enter, with Nick right behind him. Her heart jumped. Hannah jumped from her seat and went straight into Stephen’s consoling arms, but her eyes were locked with Nick’s.
After ten years, a couple of months shouldn’t have felt like forever. A shiver streaked down her spine at the sight of him striding toward her. Confident. Commanding. She fought the urge to run to him. He stopped in front of her, spearing her with those eyes, heating her with his powerful, protective stance.
Worth the Wait (McKinney/Walker #1) Page 18