by ROBERT LABOO
With his face pulled to her stomach he finds solace. As he links his arms around her waist, he releases thirty-one years of pain and hurt. Suffiyah lays her cheek on his head and does the same.
CHAPTER 18
Dreams and nightmares.
Today is a day in which I was forced to reevaluate my dreams. I was under the impression that chasing your dreams was a means of outrunning your nightmares. Each running concurrent to one another, but on parallel planes. But what if your dreams and nightmares originate from the same place? Originate from the same pain? Are they not congruent? To fully grasp or appreciate joy, do you not need to experience its opposite? Today I buried sanity. Today I buried hope. Today I buried tomorrow. We proceed throughout life anticipating these definite tomorrows. But what if today is it? The day that the parallel plane ceases to exist and dreams and nightmares collide. Only one will survive the collision. I promised a young man that if he pursued his dreams, I’d protect him from his nightmares. And he believed in me. So, today I also buried my word. Because today I buried that young man. A young man whom I never told I love him and he was more precious than any jewel unearthed. That the world was undeserving of the treasure that was his presence. The city too small and envious to be considered his home. His body unable of containing his prodigious soul. And I unentitled to the honor of his loyalty or friendship. In this endeavor we call life, what makes it easier to cope with and special is having someone to share it with. A strength to your weakness. A hope to your despair. A calm to your storm. In you someone had that and today she lost it. As we buried the frame that housed your greatness, I dug up the truth. Though alive, few of us barely live. Though walking, few of us rarely move. Though talking, few of us ever say something worth hearing. Though we have eyes, many of us lack vision. Even given slumber, so few of us ever dream. And that’s the nightmare. From my mouth to your ears, Drama, I love you. For being the boy who was man enough to say something worth hearing and dream. I am eternally grateful to have been blessed with your acquaintance.
Just Benjamin
Suffiyah reads the article for the tenth time. Each time her pillow absorbed more moisture as she stared at a still sleeping Benji. Here he was in her house when the whole department had him as the prime suspect, thanks to Lewis. But not in her eyes. Last night he shared so much that she felt privileged. With the skill of a seasoned cat burglar, he stole her heart while disrupting nothing. After he cried into her t-shirt, she removed and used it to erase any remnants of his agony.
“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you, you’d be like heaven to touch, I want to hold you so much, at long last love has arrived and I thank God I’m alive…” Lauryn Hill’s voice caters to the mood perfectly.
“Every time that I hear this song, your face appears in my mind.”
Suffiyah confesses as Benji’s eyes rise from her stomach, where his head just rested, to her bare breast where they linger momentarily. Next to the bullet scar in her shoulder. Then finally up to her eyes. She still saw the sorrow but it was now coupled with longing.
“Since the first day in the mall, I knew I needed to see your smile every day.”
Securing both his hands, she places them on her waistline.
“I blew that opportunity and paid with my heart. Did you know that?”
She cups his face as he slides her sweatpants down slowly.
“So I started reading every article you’ve ever written. Just to be close to you. Just to hear you.”
Her hands drop to the buttons of his shirt as she unfastens them methodically. Seductively.
“They touched me emotionally, like I wanted you to do physically.”
She stepped out of the sweatpants which now were around her ankles.
“I could see your face, taste your lips, smell your cologne, hear your voice, but,” Placing her thumbs in the black lace boy short panties, she wiggles out of them. “I couldn’t feel you.”
Gently, she pushes him back on her bed and unbuckles his belt.
“So every time I hear Lauryn’s voice on this song. I crave the feel of you.”
Her mouth waters at the sight of his chiseled frame and the tent created in his boxers.
“Now I can.” She straddles his waist and kisses him passionately, as they lay chest to chest.
With her feet, she pushes his boxers down. As his hard key grazes her lock, a shiver shoots through her body. “I need you bae-beee if it’s quite all-right, I need you bae-beee to warm the lone-lee nights, I love you bae-beee trust in me when I say, okay?”
“Heaven.”
That’s the best way to describe it. Benji has never experienced a feeling like that. As he lays with his eyes closed reminiscing on the nights events, he feels Suffiyah’s eyes on him. He doesn’t need to open his to recognize the angel lying next to him. If this is a dream, he isn’t allowing it to end anytime soon. Her body was perfection. Plain and simple. When she placed him inside of her, the wet warmth of her tunnel fit him like a glove. And acted as a conduit for his frustration to pass through.
How could this get any better? Then he feels her lips touch his.
Zzzz Zzzz
Of course the phone would interrupt her moment. Her sixth sense is telling her not to answer or risk being whisked away from all this. But the continuous buzzing is hard to ignore in the quiet room.
“If you need to take that call, I’ll be quiet,” Benji offers, picking up on her hesitation.
He isn’t asleep? Only now does she think how she must appear to him. Lying in bed naked with him after one lunch and what can only be rated as the worst date in history. Now her phone rings nonstop in the wee hours of the morning. Only two words can be going through his mind right now. Booty call. She suddenly feels the necessity to defend her honor.
“It can only be work. No one calls me. Not at night, not like this. I don’t date or have male friends on that accord.”
Her explanation seeming as futile as swinging at shadows. Abandoning explaining, she grabs for the phone to prove herself.
“Excuse me? Hello, Detective Adams…Where?... Now?... Does it matter that I’m off?... Be there in ten minutes.”
She didn’t hear Benji get up, but he stands there dressing silently.
“Stay, please?”
“It’s okay, you have to work. I do too.”
“At 3:30 in the morning?” she asks in disbelief.
The jealous undertone of the question doesn’t go over Benji’s head. He chuckles. “Yes. I have to finish the article you were reading. But…”
He extends his hand towards the bed and she grasps it limply. He pulls her from the bed and embraces her naked body.
“I appreciate what you’ve done for me.” She frowns. “Not the sex. Just simply gracing me with your company. You said you’d be my strength and you kept your word.”
The experience of being in Benji’s embrace was debilitating. Which made her appreciative of his strength, because right now it was the only thing holding her up.
Zzzz Zzzz
“Detective Adams.” Suffiyah initiates the Bluetooth feature as she drives.
“I told you I had a gift for you,” the unmistakable voice says.
“You know I won’t rest ‘til I catch you, right?” Unwilling to be further bullied by the bodiless voice, Suffiyah stands her ground.
“Seeing as you and your friend are just splitting ways a few moments ago, I don’t believe you were getting much rest anyway.”
This causes Suffiyah to shudder. He’s watching her.
“Suddenly it’s so quiet. Ungrateful whore. Where’d the brave detective go? All that I do for your attention and you fuck Benjamin. Now you’ll really suffer. Meet you at the scene.”
“Perfect,” Detective Lewis says under his breath.
Eying the curves of her breast and contour of her hips, her beauty is undeniable. The woman lays on full display for Lewis. Is it weird that he’s lusting
over a corpse? He’s human. He has the right to admire beauty, even if it’s no longer breathing. It’s like looking at a nude sculpture. If he’s weird, than so are the billions of museum attendees. He mentally defends his inappropriate erection. Jumping from the tap on his shoulder, he turns to face Suffiyah.
“Detective Adams, I didn’t hear you coming.”
“I just arrived. What do we have?”
“Apparently Mr. Benjamin Cooper has given us another beautiful cadaver. She’s a replica to Sakinah Rogers and the other two women.” Reading Suffiyah’s expression, he says, “You disagree? They’re like identical quadruplets.”
“No. You’re right, it’s uncanny. But how can you be sure it’s Mr. Cooper?”
“Well I can’t physically prove it, but I only need a few more weeks and he’ll never see the light of day again.”
It’s slightly after eight in the morning and Suffiyah’s just leaving the scene. Before pulling off two calls are placed. The first to Dr. O’Malley, procuring an immediate session. The second to her rock.
“Hey, Sugar! Who do I have to blow for this early morning surprise?”
“You are so raunchy it’s sad, Alicia.” Suffiyah enjoys the much needed laugh.
“Sad for who? Shit, I’m smiling. But how may I help you Suffiyah?” Lee Lee says.
“Is your shoulder preoccupied or is it available for little ol’ me?”
Turning serious at the tone of Suffiyah’s voice, Lee Lee responds, “Always. As soon as I get off work I’m going to go to your house.”
“Okay. I have to see my therapist and then I’ll meet you there.”
“Su, are you going to be okay or should I call out?”
“I’m good, Lee. It’s a lot but we’ll get through it. See you later, babes.”
“Kay.”
The tiny Mexican woman smiles up with her discolored teeth as she clips his toenails. He places his foot between her breasts with little subtlety. Using his foot to fondle the woman at his behest. The large tip that they’re accustomed to when he frequents this establishment affords him more advantages than they extend to the typical customer. He views them as vassal. Put here to carry out the orders of the breadwinner. If Suffiyah could only switch roles with these women and understand her position. The feel of her mouth and breast as unforgettable as her smile and walk. He could feel her nipple budding under the expertise of his thumb.
“Poppi?” the woman says hesitantly.
As he’s snatched from his reveries, his eyes land on the discomposed look on the woman’s face. The smile remains but it lacks sincerity and her eyes are downturned. Now he realizes he was openly groping her. His hand cups her bosom as his fingers roamed. He snatches away abruptly.
“Done, Poppi?” she inquires, eager to get him out of her area.
“Okay so I brought wine and wine. It seemed like it was going to be that kind of night. I ordered us pizza, too. It should be here in a few minutes. Now what’s bothering you?”
Suffiyah relays everything to Lee Lee in totality. From the first murder to all the calls before this morning’s incident. Only stopping to get the pizza.
“I hope you forgive me, Lee. I couldn’t tell you about the tire without risking placing you in further danger.”
“Yeah, I forgive you. But that bastard owes me a new tire.” Depend on Lee Lee to bring sunshine after the rain. “Where do we stand on suspects?”
Suffiyah shuffles closer to Alicia on the couch as she goes to the Notes app on her IPhone.
“Dr. O’Malley told me to look into Tyler Scott’s background, so I did. Nobody on his side is a big fan of mines. After pulling over his girlfriend, I found out about his partner in crime. Jamal Wright. He was my first suspect. I pulled up his profile and I can honestly say, I’ve never seen him before.”
“That doesn’t discredit him because you don’t know him. Lots of people are harmed by crazy strangers daily.”
“You’re right. But everything about these crimes have a personal feel. You don’t think?”
“A little, keep going.”
“Suspect two, Lieutenant McFarland. The cards at the scene scream ‘insider’. Who else besides a cop could grab them so freely? Remember how upset he was at me when he suspended me? Prior to that, there were whispers about him being envious of my exposure with the shooting at the bank. Somehow he felt overshadowed. Then, I return and he places me with Charles Lewis?” She sips her wine. “Definitely suspect number three. He’s crooked as the letter S. I always, I mean always catch him staring at me with perversion. Then girl get this, I’m at the scene this morning and I swear to God he’s staring at the dead woman like he wants to have sex. I figured I was bugging. But he turns around and really has the nerve to be hard. It took everything in me to remain professional. It just strikes me as funny that McFarland would pair me with him. Maybe they’re in cahoots.” She rolls her eyes in exasperation.
“Those are your only suspects?”
Suffiyah stares at a spot on the wall for what seems like an eternity before speaking.
“Lee, I slept with Benji last night.”
“Whoa! What?”
“Before all this happened, I was going to tell you. I met him and invited him back here. We talked, he cried. No, we cried. Together. Then I knew I wanted him and I can’t explain it but I knew beyond a doubt that I loved him. So, I gave him the greatest gift I could give. Me.”
“That’s so sweet, Honey. I’m happy for you, but why do you look so sad?”
Suffiyah looks at Alicia now instead of the wall.
“Because, he’s my fourth suspect.”
CHAPTER 19
“A prince, therefore, being compelled knowingly to adopt the beast, ought to choose the fox and the lion; because the lion cannot defend himself against the snares and the fox cannot defend himself against the wolves. Therefore, it’s necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. Those who rely simply on the lion do not understand what they are about.” After reading this passage out of The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli, Benji pauses to gauge the affect it has on his pupils. When first taught this lesson by the man who introduced him to the Blood lifestyle, it was like receiving a new set of eyes. He viewed everything differently after that.
~~~
Lay Low and Benji sat in the living room of the shabby apartment. The smell from back to back Newports being smoked by their OG, Do Rite, was suffocating the little fresh air in the room. At this point Cali Block wasn’t in existence, it was hardly an aspiration. Merely a plan on a sheet of paper. This meeting was the first brick laid to the foundation of that plan.
“Here’s the problem.” Do Rite pauses to take another drag of his cigarette.
He was a man of few words, but the ones he said held the weight of mountains. The cigarette smoke pirouetted in front of his face. He was a dark skinned man in his mid-thirties. Patches of hair were growing back onto his almost always freshly shaved baldhead. His slightly cocked left eye and the jagged scar running across his face only adds to his menace and heightens his disreputable reputation. Some people look like gangsters but act as gentlemen. Then there are those who look like gentlemen but are truly gangsters. Do Rite is of the small party who actually have the look that fits his persona. And as the smoke gathers and billows in front of him, Benji can’t help but thinking of being at a meeting with the devil.
“The money all goes to the house. They got cameras all ‘round the house, so they’re always aware of the surroundings. All the fee-l’s know to go there and whenever we post in front of there the heat burns down. How we get the win? Where do the team get in at?” Do Rite poses the question to his protégés.
Lay Low speaks first, “We mask up and hit the house. Lay everybody down and get the work. Kill two birds with one stone.”
“What you say, Benj?”
“I’m saying, I’m with Lay. Or either we hit a fiend on their porch and shut they shit down,” B
enji responds.
“Now y’all thinking like lions, Blood!” Do Rite says with enthusiasm.
Earning a smile from the duo. Compliments from Do Rite are given sparingly, so when extended they should be received with pride.
“What ‘bout the cameras though, Lay? Or I guess they can’t see you coming for them? Givin’ them enough time to strap up and wait for us to blitz. Then they turn the tables on us. How smart is that?” Do Rite assassinates Lay Low’s suggestion while Benji shakes his head. “That was stupid right, Benji Ru?” He now turns his attention to Benji.
“Where you hustle at?”
“On 11th.”
“Where they got the apartment at?”
“On 11th.”
“Trillz, so you’re standing outside hustlin’ while they’re in the house. When you kill the fiend on they steps and the heat start runnin’ down every day, they gonna bypass you standin’ on that corner all day?”
“Nah.”
“Aiight, so nobody gonna be able to eat, right? How that benefit us?” Lay Low and Benji remain quiet after the berating of their ideas. “Bein’ a lion is cool, because it shows strength. But bein’ a fox is necessity, because a fox is clever. A thinker. A lion knocks down the unlocked door, where the fox would have just turned the knob. What’s a muscle wit’out the brains or brains wit’out the muscle? A waste. In every situation we gotta be the lion and the fox.”
~~~
“I was taught the value of being a dual beast many years ago. Throughout the time, I’ve applied that mentality to every situation. At first I believed it was only a tool to physically conquer a goal. But now I understand it to be a means to conquer life. Society throws so many obstacles in our way to impede our progress,” He walks over and takes hold of Lenae’s hand. “So we have to be smart enough to duck the ones we can, but strong enough to overcome the ones we can’t.”