by Soraya Lane
An awkward silence fell over the table. Even the ever bubbly Jamie was quiet, which made the whole situation feel more pressure cooked than it was.
“I’d love to see it one day. I’m sure it’s pretty special,” Candace said, but she kept her head down, eyes on her cocktail.
“Brett, why don’t we go get another round of drinks?” Jamie suggested, standing and tugging on Brett’s hand.
“But we haven’t even...” He stopped talking and just stood up when Jamie gave him a fierce look that Logan caught from the corner of his eye.
Logan let them leave before turning to Candace. His mind was jumbled, his thoughts all over the place, but he kept thinking about what Brett had said and he realized he didn’t want to regret anything when it came to the woman seated beside him. It was time to man up and he knew it.
“You should have told me you were staying in Australia,” Logan said, going to reach for her hand then hesitating, before forcing himself to get out of his comfort zone and just do it. “I just presumed you were heading back straightaway.”
Candace’s hand was warm in his, but her eyes were staring at their connection, not back into his. She was deep in thought and he wanted to know what was going through her head, what she wanted from him.
“Candace?” he asked, wishing he hadn’t sounded so angry.
“I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t even know what this is between us,” she said, finally looking up at him. “I couldn’t exactly ask you not to go back home, to stay for another few days just to keep me company.”
Logan’s heart physically felt like it was going to stop. The pain he felt at seeing her eyes swim with tears was too much for him to handle, because it was him hurting her and that wasn’t something he’d ever intended on doing.
“I have no idea what this is, either, Candace.” It was the truth and he didn’t know what else to say.
“A couple of years ago, I made a decision that I was better off alone than with a man in my life,” she told him, still letting him hold her hand. “And then I met you, and I forgot all about the promise I’d made myself. I want you to know that I’ve never had a one-night stand in my life until you, Logan, and I’m fairly certain it’s not something I’ll ever do again.”
Logan stared back at Candace, wondering what on earth she saw in him to make her want to spend any time with him at all. Why she trusted him, why they both seemed able to confide in one another.
“I don’t have a lot to offer, Candace, not emotionally. But I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet.”
She leaned into him, her cheek to his chest. Logan circled his arms around her body, held her to him and shut his eyes, wanting to remember what it was like to have the tiny blonde against him. To be with a woman who made him feel things he’d never expected to feel again in his lifetime, to simply have Candace tucked against him. For as long as he lived, he’d never forget her warmth, the vulnerability he’d glimpsed—it was a comfort like he’d never experienced before.
“Come with me tomorrow,” he said, his voice low.
Candace went so still he couldn’t even feel her breathing.
“You mean that?” she asked, keeping her face to his chest.
Logan blew out a breath, not sure how he’d just ended up inviting a woman he barely knew back to his family home. But he had, and deep down he knew he wanted it more than anything. This time, he wasn’t going to let his fears make decisions for him.
“Yeah, I mean it.”
Candace eventually sat upright, one of her hands touching his face as she stared into his eyes.
“Screw doing what I think I should,” she said, the corners of her mouth tipping up into a smile. “I think it’s about time I just do what feels right.”
He couldn’t have said it better himself. Logan kissed her, forcing himself to keep his mouth soft to hers when all he wanted was to lose control. He usually hated any kind of public affection, but he wasn’t exactly behaving like himself around Candace and there was no way he was going to not kiss her with her looking up at him like that.
“We leave you guys for, like, ten minutes, and already you’re making out like a pair of lovesick teenagers.”
Logan didn’t pull away from Candace immediately, but when he did he glared at Brett. Trust his friend to push him in one direction then tease him about it as soon as Logan followed his instructions. But without Brett’s chat, maybe he would have kept his mouth shut instead of taking a leap of faith.
“I think that round was supposed to be mine,” Logan muttered, wrapping an arm around Candace and letting her snuggle under his shoulder.
“Yup. You owe me thirty bucks.”
*
The drive back wasn’t long, and in a way Candace wished it had been. The moment they’d buckled up, Logan had reached for her hand and held it, and they’d been like that the entire way back to her hotel. Even though they hadn’t said a word, they hadn’t needed to, and Candace had no idea what she would have said to him, anyway. They’d kind of said it all at the bar and the silence between them was comfortable.
“Here we are,” Logan announced when he pulled up outside.
Candace reluctantly let go of his hand, wishing she’d just suggested they go home to his place.
“Do you want to come up?” she asked.
Logan stared straight ahead for a second, like he wasn’t sure what to say, or was having some sort of battle over what he wanted to say and what he thought he should say.
“I can’t leave Ranger the whole night in here, but I’ll come up for a little bit,” he said.
Candace fought the heat starting to spread into her cheeks, finding it hard to believe that she’d been the one to ask a man up to her hotel room. Spending time with Logan was sure making her do a lot of things for the first time.
She jumped out and they both walked into the lobby, side by side but not quite touching. They headed straight for the elevator, and Candace toyed with the idea of putting her arm around Logan before deciding to just stand still and stop fidgeting.
“So this might sound like a weird question, but how exactly do we get to the Outback?” she asked, hoping that didn’t make her sound like a dumb blonde. She had no idea whether it was two hours away or ten, and if she had to prepare for an insanely long drive or not.
“Not silly at all,” he said, touching his fingers to hers when the doors opened. “I probably should have explained when I asked you.”
“Don’t tell me we have to go by bus or something?” She didn’t want to sound like a princess, but...
“We fly,” he said, stepping back so she could select her floor. “The catch is that I’m the pilot.”
Candace spun around, her jaw almost hitting the floor. “No way.” Logan sure had a way of surprising her when she least expected it.
He grimaced. “Yes way, but if it makes you feel any better I’ve had my private pilot license since I was nineteen, so it’s not like I’m trying to clock up flying hours just for experience these days.”
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “And the plane’s yours?” she asked.
“It’s not that unusual for a large Outback station to have a plane,” he told her, clearly trying to be modest. “We have a couple of small helicopters based on-site for mustering, but I keep the plane here a lot of the time so I can go back and forth.”
Okay, she thought. Maybe the reason he wasn’t easily intimidated by her was because he had a lot more family wealth than he’d ever let on before. Either way it didn’t bother her, but it did make her even more intrigued about the man she’d just agreed to go on a mini-vacation with. There was so much about Logan that was still a mystery to her.
“If you’re comfortable taking me, I’m comfortable flying with you,” Candace told him.
They exited the elevator when they reached her floor, stepping out side by side.
“Just in case you’re getting any grand ideas, it’s just a nice reliable four-seater, nothing over-the
-top, so don’t expect reclining chairs or champagne.”
She smiled. “I don’t care what the plane looks like, just so long as it gets us to where we need to go and safely.”
A look crossed his face, either sadness or anger, she just couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something changed in him at that exact moment.
“We’ll get there,” he said in a quiet voice that she hadn’t heard before. “Don’t you worry about that.”
Candace wasn’t sure what she’d said, but something had rattled him, she could sense it. She wasn’t going to pry, though—if he wanted to talk about something that was troubling him, then he could bring it up when he was good and ready. She hated being pushed when something was on her mind.
“So will I have Ranger strapped in beside me?” Candace asked as she swiped her room key. “Or will I be relegated to the back so he can have your wingman seat?”
Logan chuckled. “He’s a seasoned flier after all the miles he clocked up in the army, so you don’t have to worry about him turning into a quivering mess and wanting to sit on your knee. He knows his place in the back with his harness on.”
They walked into the room and Candace dropped her key and purse onto the side table before flopping down onto the bed.
“Talk about a cheap date. Two cocktails and I’m buzzing.”
Logan sat beside her, his thigh grazing hers. “So what did you think of my friends? They weren’t too full-on?”
Candace lay back on the bed, kicking off her stilettos. “You’re kidding me? They were fantastic. Jamie was hilarious, just the kind of company I’ve been missing. I really liked her.”
“Yeah, she’s a great girl.” Logan was silent for a while, obviously thinking something over, when he suddenly turned to her. “Candace, I want you to know that I’ve never taken anyone I’ve been involved with to my family home before.”
Candace went still, staring at the ceiling fan before pulling herself up and sitting back against the pillows. “You haven’t?”
He shook his head. “I was dating someone a while back, someone I thought I was going to marry, but my parents died before I had the chance to take her there. I haven’t been seriously involved with anyone since.”
“I’m sorry,” Candace said, wishing she could think of something more helpful to say and coming up with nothing.
“When they died, we’d already gotten engaged, and I was so angry that she hadn’t met them, that we hadn’t spent time together as a family. It seemed so stupid that I’d never made the time to take her home when it should have been a priority.”
“So what happened?” Candace asked, her voice deliberately low.
Logan kicked off his boots and moved up the bed, lying beside her, his head almost touching hers. She waited, hardly breathing she was trying to stay so quiet.
“I’ve experienced a lot of loss, it’s just part and parcel of what I’ve always done for a job, but losing my parents?”
Candace moved her hand so it was touching Logan’s, her fingers linking with his, letting him know she was there for him.
“I still don’t know how I managed to pull through. And then the fiancée I thought was in love with me turned out to be a gold digger.”
Now that was something she understood all too well, and why she rarely trusted her instincts when it came to men anymore.
“I don’t know what to say, but I can say that I’ve been in that same position with a couple of men before. Nothing hurts more than that kind of betrayal.”
Logan squeezed her fingers. “To be honest, that’s why I’m telling you,” he said. “Charlotte made a few comments that made me suspicious, that made my friends question her real motives, and so I told her that my parents had been in debt and there wasn’t any inheritance left over once the debtors had been paid.”
Candace sighed. “Don’t tell me. She left straightaway?”
“Yep, she was gone from my life faster than I could blink. Her stuff was moved out of our city house within the week,” Logan said, moving so he could put his arm around her. “So I lost my parents and my fiancée within a few weeks of each other.”
Candace turned, too, so she could snuggle back into Logan. She’d been thinking about getting him into bed ever since he’d kissed her in the bar, but now that they were here, all she wanted was to lie in his arms. The fact that he trusted her enough to confide in her meant more to her than anything, especially when on so many levels she understood what he’d been through.
“Better to have her walk out before you were married, or after you’d had children. I know it’s kind of a cliché to say that, but it’s true.”
Logan’s hand tucked under her breast, keeping her close, the warmth from his body making her want to shut her eyes and just enjoy someone holding her, making her feel wanted.
“Logan, I don’t know a lot about Australia, but I’m guessing your ranch is kind of, well, impressive,” Candace said. “You’re obviously in a—” she struggled to find the right word “—comfortable position.”
Logan’s breath was hot against her ear when he chuckled. “You want to know my net worth before you agree to spending more time with me? Is that what you’re saying?”
Now it was Candace laughing. “I couldn’t care less how much money you have, but from the story you’ve just told me I have a feeling you’re a more eligible bachelor than you’ve let on.”
“If I’m honest with you, we have one of the biggest privately owned Outback stations in New South Wales, and my sister and I inherited everything jointly,” he told her. “It’s something I’m proud of, but at the same time I’d rather slip under the radar without anyone taking any notice of me, if you know what I mean.”
“And yet you’ve dedicated the last, what, ten years to the army?”
“Something like that,” he said, his mouth against her hair. “I just wanted to prove myself, make my own mark on the world before I took over the day-to-day running of the station. It made my dad proud, and I’d always planned on working side by side with him once I’d finished with the SAS.”
Candace kept her eyes shut, loving the feel of Logan stroking her hair, running his fingers gently through her curls before starting at her scalp again.
“What Charlotte did to me, it screwed me up where women are concerned. I’m not the guy who’ll ever settle down, because I couldn’t ever trust anyone that much again.”
That made her eyes pop open. It wasn’t that she had any illusions about Logan wanting to marry her, but the fact that such a nice, genuine man was too afraid of being hurt to love again? It made her sad. She often had similar thoughts, but to actually believe that falling in love would never happen? That wasn’t something she believed, no matter how disillusioned she felt sometimes.
“Logan, you deserve to have children one day, to carry on your family’s legacy and be happy.”
When he spoke, his voice was gruff. “My parents set the best example for what a marriage is, and they were the best parents a kid could ever wish for. If I can’t be the same husband, and dad that my own father was to me and my sister, then I don’t have any interest in trying.”
She understood, but it didn’t mean she agreed with him. To her he just sounded like a wounded person not wanting to admit that one day he’d be whole again.
“Can you stay a little while?” Candace asked as Logan’s touch lulled her into a happy, almost asleep state.
He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t stop touching her, either. She should have turned to him, should have kissed him and enjoyed having a man like Logan in her bed, but she also didn’t want to give up the feeling of simply having his arms around her. It had been a long time since she’d trusted someone as much as she trusted this man, and it was something she wanted to selfishly indulge in a little while longer.
“We leave at nine tomorrow morning,” Logan murmured in her ear. “I’ll be gone when you wake up, but I can either come back and collect you, or you can make your own way to the airport.”
Candace was barely conscious she was so relaxed. “There,” she murmured. “I’ll meet you there.”
She tried to stay awake, but as she was slipping into sleep she decided not to fight it. For all she knew, it might be the only time she was cuddled to sleep for a long time.
*
Candace woke with such a fright it was like a bolt of lightning had struck her. It took a moment, a split second as she struggled to remember where she was and figure out what on earth was happening, but when she did the panic was like a noose around her neck.
“Logan!” she gasped, trying to push herself up.
He was calling out, tossing and turning, the pain and desperation in his voice almost unbearable.
“Logan!” she called out, scrambling from the bed and landing on her feet.
One second Logan was thrashing, the next he was sitting up, looking disorientated, his hands above his head.
“Candace?” Logan’s voice was rough, croaky.
She didn’t say anything for a moment, just tried to catch her breath.
“Candace?” His voice was more panicked this time.
“Here,” she said, leaning forward. “Logan, I’m right here.”
He reached to flick the bedside lamp, illuminating the room so she could see him properly and him her.
“What happened?” he asked.
Candace took a big, shaky breath, before sitting on the edge of the bed.
“You were having one of your night terrors and I woke you.”
Logan’s expression changed, his face falling. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”
She reached for him, clasping his hand. “I think you might have these more than you realize,” Candace told him, trying to be as gentle with her words and her touch as she could. “Logan, you, well, the other night when I left, it wasn’t because I knew about the photos.”
He pushed his legs off the bed, head falling into his hands as he sat there. Candace wanted to comfort him, but she also knew that talking about this probably wasn’t something he was comfortable with. Wasn’t something that would come easily to him.