by L. A. Long
Ren sighs loud enough to shake the coffee table. “That when you choose us, I’ll give Syn back his soul.”
Chapter 15
“Seriously?” Syn asks. “I can have my soul back?”
Ren nods. “You’ll still have to stay with me if you want to be with Cassandra because she will always be mine.”
I flinch at that term again. I mean it’s super sexy when I’m about to get naughty, but in the cold post sex world, it grates.
“Does it?” Ren looks at me with suspicion. “Why? You are mine. I created your soul. I made you look like that because that’s what I want.”
“What did Makus create?”
Ren sighs and studies the ground. “The other half of your soul, and for some reason we have the same tastes which both heaven and hell found amusing.”
I study him while I grin. “Interesting.”
He glares at me. “Not really.”
I stand up quickly. “So, now you’re saying my free will is fucked as well as my entire life? That you own me?”
Ren gnaws on that a bit. He tosses it back and forth. Too long if you ask me. “What do you want me to say, Cassandra? What will make it easier for you? You are mine. You will always be mine. Would you prefer I pretend you have a choice? Assuage that free will of yours into thinking I would ever let you go?”
“You know suddenly I’m thinking of Makus and Bast again. Are you sure you aren’t really the demon in disguise? You throw your weight around like he does.”
Syn puts his hand on Ren’s shoulder. “You promised you would never get angry at her. Take it out on me, but never Cassandra.”
I step back. “Take what out on you? Do you hurt Syn? Have you hurt him?”
Syn immediately looks down at the ground. “It’s alright. I recover quickly.”
I walk right in front of the angel. “You hurt him again, and you’ll be searching for pieces of your angel bits in the four corners of the world where I buried the remains of others who’ve pissed me off.”
Ren grins at me.
“I’m serious, angel.”
“I know. That’s what makes it so adorable.”
Syn kisses my cheek. “Thank you for caring about me, my love.”
I look at Ren. “Why don’t you and Makus get your naughty on together? I can have Syn and Bast.”
Ren shakes his head and sighs. “That will never happen. You will never be with Bast or the demon. Ever. Again. And if you want to be with Syn, then you’ll take me as well.”
“You were so much nicer before.”
He smirks.
“I will be with Bast if I choose their side.” I say it too quickly, and Syn’s expression changes. “I didn’t mean it that way, Syn. Choosing either side means having to put up with the asshole in charge.”
Ren steps closer to me. “You will watch your tone with me.”
For the first time, I see Ren. I really see him. His power. His strength. “Totally uncool you both stealing my soulmates and forcing them to be your concubines.”
Ren blows out a breath. “I don’t know or care what the demon does with his warlock, but I have never forced Syn to do anything like you are suggesting.”
We stare at each other. I don’t think Ren nor I want to say anything that will piss the other off. How did this happen? Being forced to be with creatures just to be with my soulmates.
Ren’s eyes narrow, and I realize I thought something bad.
I hold up my hands in surrender. “Didn’t mean it that way.”
“Creatures? You still think I’m like the abomination?”
I think about the question. I really do. Then I decide to be snarky. I hem and haw and hesitate. “What do you want me to say, Ren? What will make it easier for you? That you keeping Syn’s soul hostage is completely unlike Makus keeping Bast’s soul hostage?”
Ren grabs me and kisses me. It’s a passionate kiss. Full of anger and toe curling anticipation. He stops and presses his forehead against mine. “You are mine. I’m sorry if that offends you, but I won’t lie to you or sugar coat it. I will never hurt you, but I will never let you go.”
I try to wrench away from him.
Syn is by my side in an instant. “What’s wrong?”
“That’s what Makus said.” I continue to step back. “So how does this end if neither one of you lets me go?”
Ren takes a deep breath while he thinks. He then stares into my eyes. “I will destroy him. I’ll have to destroy them both.”
I grab my stomach. I hadn’t thought of that. Makus. Total ass pain, but total turn on. Bast. My soulmate. I can’t live without him. That’s the first time I’ve ever thought that. Then I look at Syn. “I can’t live without either of my soulmates.”
Ren clears his throat. “I hope someday I’m going to be included in what you can’t live without.”
I shrug only because it’ll irritate Ren. He’s gorgeous. Strong. Sweet. Generous. Gentle. Sometimes super scary.
“When did I ever scare you?” He grunts. “When did anyone ever scare you?”
“You’re doing a good job right now.”
“No, I’m not. You’re not scared of me. You’re scared of which one of your soulmates you will lose. I’m sorry, Cassandra. The warlock is tied to the demon. He will share his fate.”
I look at Syn and touch his beautiful face. “Could Makus hurt you?”
“No,” Ren says quickly. “I won’t let that happen.”
“But how can I lose my soulmate? Wouldn’t that gut me?”
Ren shakes his head. “Your soulmates are attached to the different parts of your soul. When you choose us, your light soul will be restored. All will be well, and you will always have Syn.”
I look at the beautiful, pure, perfect reaper with his sad green eyes and every flawless part of him. “Is that what you want, Syn?”
Syn opens his mouth and looks back and forth between me and the angel. “No one’s ever asked me that before.”
“I did,” Ren says. “When we made the deal.”
“Yes, the deal.” Syn rolls his eyes. “Cassandra is your soulmate.” Syn mimics Ren. “I just took your soul. If you ever hope to be with your soulmate, you have to be bonded with me for all eternity. Otherwise, I’ll turn your soul to dust and it will be like you never existed.”
I glare at Ren. “Seriously? That’s what you said?”
He shrugs. “I think I might have used somewhat different words.”
Syn looks at me and shakes his head.
“They really need to teach sensitivity training in heaven.”
Ren chuckles. “Yeah, that’ll happen.”
“So, if you give Syn back his soul—”
“I will give Syn back his soul when you choose us. Not if, Cassandra.”
I throw up my hands. “Whatever. Free will be damned. When you give Syn back his soul, would he be free to leave?”
Ren laughs. He actually throws his head back and laughs for a good two minutes. I wonder if we need popcorn. Even the mice family grimaces watching the angel be a total asshole.
Ren finally calms himself down. “Cassandra, you really don’t understand the idea of soulmates, do you?”
I frown. “I want him to have a choice.”
“Free will?” Ren actually uses air quotes.
“Fuck, I hate when people do that. Such passive aggressive bullshit. I prefer aggressive aggressive ass kicking.”
Syn stops me by standing in front of me. “Soul or no soul, I am yours, Cassandra. Where you go, I go.”
I touch his beautiful face again. “Can’t seem to stop touching you.”
Syn’s face melts into the most amazing smile. “I do not mind that at all.”
I quickly glance at Ren who watches us without emotion. I wait for him to make his move.
“What?” he asks, impatiently.
“The demon is always tit for tat.”
Ren cringes. “The demon did what to your …” he motions towards my chest.
“N
o.” I shake off that image. “Bast couldn’t even touch my hand without Makus doing the same.”
Ren frowns. “Like I said, I’m not like the abomination.” Then he steps forward and for the first time since the tensions began, he throws me a playful grin. “Would you mind if I did that? What you just said?”
I want to say yes. I should say yes. I really should be able to form the word. It’s such a simple little word that can cause so much havoc, but I can’t. The angel is infuriating. Gets under my skin as all get out, but …
Ren raises his eyebrow. “By all means, finish that sentence.”
“No, I do not mind you at all.” I look him over and try to throw him my best pissed off expression. “Just try not to roll your eyes when you mention the mere idea about free will. Even if I don’t have it like humans since I was … you know created in hell and forged in heaven.” I wait for him to sigh which he does.
“Still can’t wrap my mind around that.” I then think about my hair. “Is that why it’s shaved on one side and all fun and flirty on the other?”
“Yes.”
“Let me guess, you wanted the fun and flirty blond hair?”
Ren shakes his head slowly.
“The shaved part?” Then I remember Makus running his fingers through my hair when he kissed me.
Ren and Syn both curl up their lips like a foul smell wafted in.
I look at Ren. “I wish I could mind you a little. You piss me off like no one else.”
“Really? Even more so than the abomination?” He winks.
I think about it. I really do, but I can’t give him the answer he wants.
Ren’s grin falters a bit, but he shakes it off. “Something else I can answer for you, Cassandra?” He asks with his best mocking tone.
“Soulmates?” I point to myself and Syn. “No souls?”
Ren nods. “Your souls still exist. If they were destroyed, your soulmate link would be broken.” He hands me a glass of water. “You also should eat. You exerted a lot of energy on that sofa.”
I glance at the sofa with such fond memories. “I did. I really did. Are all angels as odd as you?”
He thinks about it. “They’re more annoying.”
Chapter 16
Ren, Syn and I decide to eat outside on the deck. Ren places a bounty of every single type of food on the table, and I fill my plate. I look out at the sky and watch the eagles soar above us. The weather is perfection. Blue skies. Sunny with only a few puffy clouds. Not too cold and not too hot. Just a slight breeze.
I lean back and kick my leg up as I look at all the perfect trees. The birds sing. The squirrels and chipmunks jump around gathering snacks. The wind rustles through the leaves. Just a normal meal in some random cabin with friendly wolves and helpful eagles and waving mice. Just me and my angel and reaper having a snack.
Ren smiles at me. “Love it when you call us yours.”
Syn grabs my hand. “Happy, my love?”
I nod.
“Even with me?” Ren asks with his normal mocking tone.
I think about it just to irritate him, but he doesn’t get irritated. He waits patiently for my reply. “Why aren’t you pissed at me?”
He leans across the table so he can whisper. “News flash, Cassandra, I’ve never been angry with you.”
My mind races through the images of his red face and the way he spoke to me.
“I get angry at the situation. The thought of the demon and the warlock ever touching you or the gall of them thinking they could ever possess you.”
“I know. Don’t you hate it when they get all ‘your mine’ with you?”
He throws a grape at me which I catch, put it with some cheese, a few crackers, half an apple, and a napkin and place it down on the ground for the mice family.
They share a bit of napkin amongst them which they tuck in their laps and sit down, grab hands and pray.
“What the fuck?”
Everyone jumps. Even the wolves howl in the distance. “Sorry for the cuss. The mice are praying.”
Syn looks at me and to the mice like he has no idea what my issue is.
“Okay. That’s cool. Praying mice.”
Ren can’t stop laughing.
“Keep it up angel.”
“I always do.” He watches me. “What is troubling my Cassandra now?”
“Demons are scary. Powerful. Dangerous.”
“You’ve noticed. Good for you. Wait …” He grabs at his heart. “Are you worried about me?”
Syn smiles and pushes some of the food around his plate.
Ren claps a few times, and about a dozen squirrels descend and take the rest of the food off his plate. He leans back, pets one of them, and then waits until they’ve finished before continuing. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m scary. Powerful. Dangerous.”
I nod, but I can’t help my thoughts.
Ren throws his napkin down. “That will never happen.” He leans forward. “Cassandra, look at me.”
I stare into his eyes.
“When you choose us, the demon won’t hurt us or punish you no matter how many times he teased you with that warning. I’ll make sure of it. You trust me, don’t you?”
I nod, but perhaps it wasn’t as enthusiastic as he wanted because he’s beside me in an instant. He pulls my chair to him and blocks me in. “Look at me. I won’t let them hurt you or Syn or me.” He studies me. “Are you afraid of what I’ll do to the warlock?”
I immediately look down.
Syn grabs my hand. “I know you have feelings for Sebastian. He’s also your soulmate.”
“And my feelings for Makus?”
Ren pushes my chair back in, kisses the top of my head and sits back down. “Tell me what they did when you mentioned us. You did mention us, didn’t you?”
I throw a few more grapes towards the mice family. “I specifically said your names because it made Makus insane. I love irritating him. Is he really one of Lucifer’s favorites?”
Ren’s body tenses. “Yes. Can you do me a favor and never mention his name in front of me again?”
“Which one?”
“Both.”
“He’s ancient, isn’t he?”
Ren doesn’t look at me, but he nods.
“The job we had. That horrible thing with beady eyes who killed everyone. She was vile.”
“We know what she was,” Syn says. “We took several of her victims’ souls to their final place.”
I narrow my eyes. “Should I ask?”
Ren wipes his hands off. “Yes, we knew what she was before she even killed her first.”
“Okay, that’s what I have a problem with.”
“Oh, we know,” Ren says sarcastically.
Syn takes my hand. “Unfortunately, our job is not to prevent.”
“It’s just to pick up the pieces afterwards?”
“Yep,” Ren says.
I point to him. “That’s one of your tells. Whenever you say ‘yep’ that means you don’t agree with it but follow orders anyway.”
“Yep. And when you’re with us, you won’t be able to pull that little stunt you did in the alley.”
“I couldn’t let him hurt that woman.”
Syn shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. That’s not our place.”
“I don’t accept that.”
Ren grabs a handful of bread and throws it directly up in the air, and birds from all directions grab it all so that none hits the ground. “The problem with that hubris—”
“Hubris?”
“Hubris,” he says more emphatically. “The problem with that is you have no right to judge someone else.”
“He was going to hurt her.”
“That was only one future. There are a thousand different things that need to happen for that future to occur. You took every chance he had for redemption away.” Ren snaps his fingers for effect. “Just like that. And you won’t do that again.”
I sit back in my chair. “Really? Just like that?” I sna
p my fingers at him. “And you’re going to stop me?”
“Uh oh.” Syn kisses my hand before letting it go. “Someone has challenged Ren.”
Ren side glances Syn. “I will stop you. Do not test me on that.”
I grin. “Uh huh.”
Ren leans forward. “I’m serious, Cassandra. You can’t do that.”
A group of wolves walk up to Ren who pets each of them and whispers something to them. They sit down and watch me.
“You made perfect sense with the whole different future thing until you snapped your fingers like I was a petulant child.”
“Too far?”
Even Syn nods. “Definitely.”
“I’ll work on that.”
“One future? I always thought I saw the future not just one.”
“That’s why you need us,” Syn says. “The other group would never tell you that.”
“No, they’d just untangle your leash far enough for you to go rabid and then…” Ren stops himself when confronted with my glare. “What did I say now that offended?”
Syn finishes his water and tries not to choke on it. “Let’s see … leash? Rabid?”
Ren puts his hand over his mouth. “That was rather rude, wasn’t it?”
I raise my hand. “Question.”
“Uh oh,” Syn says, grinning. “I already know where this is going.”
“Why is it that the soul makers and takers have to be endured just to be with my soulmates who are so sweet and perfect and not total assholes?”
Ren sighs loud enough to make the mouse family pack up and seek cover. The wolves whimper and flee. He leans back in his chair and doesn’t take his stare from me. “You get I’m an angel, don’t you? That I have the power of life and death? That I have your soul? That I created your soul?”
“Half of my soul. Yeah. Yeah. You’re all powerful.” I whip my fingers around as if to say, whoopee.
Syn hides his smirk behind a napkin. Even Ren has to look away to keep me from seeing his grin.
“Face it, Ren, you love that I challenge you.” I throw a grape and hit him in the head.
He leaps up and grabs me out of my chair and twirls me.