by June Francis
‘Gosh!’ She laughed. ‘Do you kiss all girls like that? My fiancé would have your life.’ She avoided his eyes as she put up a hand and dragged the scarf from her hair and removed her apron. ‘I must look a mess.’
‘No. You’re a sight for sore eyes.’ The tone of his voice was like a caress and she trembled inwardly. ‘And I know about Sam. Jimmy wasted no time in telling me. I won’t soil your ears with what he called the pair of you.’
‘I can imagine,’ said Rita, lifting her gaze to meet his. ‘I suppose he also told you Ellen’s staying with us?’
Billy jingled the change in his pockets and said dryly, ‘That too.’
‘You’ll be wanting to see her.’
‘Sure. We had some fun times together.’ He paused. ‘Are you happy, Rita? You deserve to be happy with this Sam after all you suffered before I went away. Is he a good bloke? Not that I can imagine you tying yourself up to someone who wasn’t, but you did make a mistake over Jimmy.’
Rita grimaced. ‘You don’t have to remind me. Sam’s not a bit like him. We’ve known each other for ages and you’re bound to meet him at the yard, so you’ll be able to judge for yourself.’ She felt if she could keep talking about Sam she would be able to keep the lid on her feelings for Billy.
‘Does your aunt like him?’
‘Of course!’ Rita laughed. ‘Do you think she’d have let me get engaged to someone she didn’t approve of and trusted to live here and help run the business?’
‘I suppose not.’ He forced a smile and reached out a hand, took one of hers and squeezed it. ‘I want you to tell me everything you’ve been doing while I’ve been away. I’ve really missed you.’ He toyed with her fingers.
Rita withdrew her hand gently. ‘I’ve missed you too and I’d rather hear about what you’ve been up to in China than talk about my life.’
‘Give us a cup of tea then, and I’ll tell you some of it.’
She thought there could be no harm in the pair of them sharing a cup of tea and talking in the back. She had told him about Sam so they both knew exactly where they were. ‘OK!’ She led the way, saying to him over her shoulder. ‘I could have killed Jimmy when he turned up believing you and your dad were dead and looking to take over the yard.’
Billy smiled grimly. ‘I can imagine. You should have seen his face when we arrived home.’
‘All smiles, I bet?’
‘He’s not deceiving anyone. What he did to you hasn’t been forgotten; neither has the theft and the lies he told.’
Rita was glad of that. She told Billy to sit and made tea. Having poured, she sat opposite him and hoped the shop bell would not buzz. It seemed incredible that he was really here in front of her. She felt dreamlike. ‘Tell me everything.’
He drank his tea before leaning back in the chair, a shadow in his eyes. ‘It would take too long to tell it all, and some I’d rather not talk about.’
‘Tell me just the important bits.’
He told her about the fighting between not only the Communists and Imperial troops but how the presence of the Japanese soldiers had meant making huge detours to avoid getting caught up in their wars and probably thrown into prison. ‘The trouble is, you think before you go out there that you’ve got a good idea how vast China is, but you can’t imagine how great the distances are until you’ve walked them like we did across valleys and mountains. I broke my leg crossing a river when I was swept away by currents.’
‘You broke your leg! That must have been terrible. How did you get it fixed?’ She leant forward and touched his knee but withdrew her hand quickly.
‘It wasn’t easy. Pretty grim, in fact, and dozens of times I thought I wasn’t going to make it. I was lucky in the guide I chose. He knew his business and had been taught more than just English at a mission station and that’s where he took me to rest up. Fortunate, really.’
‘Why? And what were you doing there, Billy? I can’t believe you went to all that trouble just for some ol’ artefacts.’
Billy laughed. ‘Da — told me that’s what he’d let you think.’
‘Isn’t it true?’
He shook his head and said in a low voice, ‘I went in search of my father.’
Rita thought, he’s suffered a bang on the head as well as breaking his leg. He’s confused. ‘It was your father who went in search of you,’ she said gently.
‘No.’ He gripped the arms of the chair. ‘William isn’t my father. My real father is his twin brother.’
She was stunned and for a moment could not think what to say, then, ‘I don’t understand. You are talking about Alan who’s supposed to be dead?’
‘Love, betrayal, deception!’ Billy took a deep breath. ‘Yes. But he’s not dead and I reckon right now Da — my uncle — is telling your aunt all about it. You know what it makes me, Rita?’
She slipped from her chair and knelt in front of him and took both his hands in hers. ‘Who’s to know? You can be sure I won’t blab about it and neither will my aunt. Did you find Alan?’
Billy shook his head. ‘All that hardship, suffering and money spent was a waste of time. He left China years ago and came back to Britain, and William is determined your aunt’s got to know everything before they can even think of getting married.’
It was on the tip of Rita’s tongue to tell him about Jonathan but again she managed to keep quiet and instead told Billy to tell her the rest as she tried to imagine what this news would do to her aunt.
*
‘Will, stop pacing the floor!’ Margaret’s heart felt as if it was somewhere in her stomach. This reunion was going all wrong. Perhaps he had stopped loving her?
When he had knocked on the door she had run to answer it. Despite the initial shock of seeing how ill he had been — his clothes hung on him, his skin was like parchment and the whites of his eyes yellowish — she had flung herself in his arms. For a moment he had held her tightly, his cheek resting against hers. She had wanted to burrow into him and blurt out about the baby, but then he had freed himself and said they had to talk.
‘Of course we have to talk,’ she had said.
And he had talked but she would have preferred to hear what he had to say while being held by him. In his arms it would have been easier to tell him about Jonathan but while he kept his distance and told his story from a chair three feet away she felt all churned up inside. And what a story he had told. So many adventures avoiding troops and wading across rivers. It had been sheer good luck or an answer to prayer that he had found Billy laid up in a mission station with a broken leg. Even when Billy was on his feet again their progress had been slow. Then more delay when Will had caught hepatitis and nearly died. He had yet to give her an answer to why he and Billy had ended up at a mission station in the middle of nowhere.
‘You haven’t got a drink, have you?’ asked William.
He looked drawn, and although she was not sure whether he should be having alcohol, she decided maybe a medicinal brandy might relax them both. So she got up and splashed brandy and soda into two crystal glasses and handed one to him.
He raised his glass. ‘To truth and hope!’
What a strange toast, she thought, but repeated his words and sipped her brandy. The muscles of her stomach clenched as she waited to hear what he had to say next.
‘Alan’s alive.’
She choked on the brandy. Surely he could not have said what she thought he said? She had to have misheard him.
‘Are you OK? I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. Will I get you some water?’
‘Shut up, Will!’ she gasped.
He sat down and his eyes were anxious.
She got her breath back and asked him to repeat what he said. She felt otherworldly. She was glad now she had done as he said in his postcard and not made a fuss about their homecoming and thrown a party. Besides, she wasn’t good at parties, she thought distractedly.
‘Alan’s alive.’
So she had heard him aright and her heart went off at a
gallop. Her mind refused to believe it. ‘You’re lying. You good as told me he was dead years ago. I grieved for him.’
‘He’s alive. Do you think I’d really be telling you now he was if he wasn’t? He messed up my life in the past and by God I’m letting him do it again. The trouble is I can’t stop myself.’
She knew it was true then. ‘Why didn’t he get in touch with me and tell me he was alive?’ She was bewildered.
‘Because he wanted to lose himself. He had done things he was ashamed of.’ William tossed off his drink.
‘What do you mean?’
‘He got Bella pregnant.’
Those words were more of a shock than the news Alan was alive. Margaret could not sit still and stood up. ‘That’s not funny.’
‘It wasn’t at the time either.’ Will’s smile was grim as he got to his feet too. ‘Alan had gone off to China and I’d just got back from sea. Bella came to see me in a terrible state and told me she was two months gone with his child.’
Margaret drained her glass. ‘You should have told me.’
‘I wasn’t your favourite person at the time. Would you have believed me? You thought Alan the saint and me the sinner.’
‘I was only a girl and I was mixed up. You know how it was with me. I don’t want to go over all that again.’ The drink seemed to be affecting her legs and she sat down heavily. ‘All those years I spent being angry and hurt and lonely.’ She raised her voice. ‘You should have trusted me and put me to the test.’
‘I wanted to but you’d already shown that you didn’t trust me.’
‘I could have gone to Bella and asked her for the truth.’
His laugh was harsh. ‘You think she would have told you! Alan was in China and she wanted a quick marriage. She said that if I didn’t marry her she would write to the Missionary Society and tell them what he had done.’
‘So you allowed yourself to be blackmailed.’
‘I saved his reputation,’ said Will brusquely. ‘He was my parents’ blue-eyed boy and the disgrace would have devastated them. Once Bella died, of course, things were different. I saw Alan in China and told him Billy was his son.’
‘What did he say?’
‘He went to pieces. I asked him to write to you and tell you the truth. He knew that I loved you and I wanted to marry you. He said he would do as I asked, break off the engagement and give his life completely to God.’
‘But I never got the letter.’
‘I was furious about that.’
‘And so you convinced me he was dead. Why couldn’t you have told me the truth then?’ Margaret felt so hurt.
‘You made no sign that convinced me the news would have been welcome without some kind of proof.’
‘But you have no proof now. I only have your word.’ All kinds of thoughts were popping into her mind. ‘You married Maud! Why did you do that? Why didn’t you go and look for Alan and bring him back so we could sort it out?’
William was silent and then said in a heavy voice, ‘I always told myself I had no choice but to find a mother for Billy when you turned me down, but I suppose the truth is that I was scared that you might still prefer Alan to me if you saw him again. I’m still scared.’
She could not believe he could be so unsure of her love. For God’s sake, she had gone to bed with him! And, remembering how she had to cope alone with her pregnancy, she wanted to punish him. ‘Where is Alan?’
‘Not in China. If the pair of us had taken the trouble to get in touch with the different missionary societies we would have found that out. Apparently he’s been working at a mission for seamen in Scotland for years. He got the idea after talking to Jerry in Hong Kong that time.’
Scotland! And he hadn’t bothered to come and see her in all that time or written another letter. She felt so angry she couldn’t think straight. She wanted to punish Alan as well. ‘I must see him,’ said Margaret.
‘I thought you’d say that,’ said William, twisting the stem of the glass between his fingers. ‘Billy’s already made up his mind to go up there.’
‘So you told Billy the truth and not me?’
‘I thought he needed an explanation to why I’d treated him the way I did. It was wrong of me but he’s forgiven me.’ William’s expression warmed. ‘We really got to know each other while in China. He could have left me and come back home but he wouldn’t do that. I can say now that I truly love him like a son.’
‘Yet you’re letting him go off and see Alan. Aren’t you afraid he’ll prefer his real father to you?’ Her voice was tart.
William winced, knowing why she said it but he made no effort to answer the question. Instead he said, ‘Billy will be leaving for Scotland tomorrow. Do you want Alan to come here and visit you?’
‘Yes! I need to see him.’
William nodded. He left the room looking weary and afterwards she felt ashamed of not stopping him and giving him reassurance. But at that moment she was stiff with shock, anger and hurt.
Chapter Twenty-One
‘So what did he say when you told him about Jonathan?’ said Rita as she sat down at the dinner table. They were free to talk openly about the matter because Ellen had left for The Blue Angel.
‘I didn’t tell him.’ Margaret’s voice was short and she did not meet her niece’s eyes.
Silence.
‘Is that because he lied to you about his twin brother?’
Margaret stopped toying with her food and threw down her fork. ‘So Billy told you!’
‘He came into the shop and it came out when he was telling me about China. They had a terrible time, didn’t they?’
‘Daft, the pair of them,’ muttered Margaret, picking up her fork again and digging it into a potato. ‘It would have been better if they’d stayed at home and Will had kept his mouth shut.’
Rita was silent, thinking she would probably have never got engaged to Sam if Billy hadn’t been told about his father; but then he and William’s relationship might have disintegrated all together and that wouldn’t have been good for either of them. ‘Don’t you think Mr Brodie acted kind of noble in saving his brother’s reputation? You have to forgive him.’
‘It’s me who’ll decide that, miss!’ said Margaret, her eyebrows snapping together in a manner Rita had not seen for ages. ‘You look after your own business and I’ll look after mine. This homecoming hasn’t turned out the least how I expected and I don’t want to talk on this subject anymore at the moment.’
So nothing more was said between them but they both still carried on thinking about the Brodie men with that familiar ache inside them and wondered what the next few days would bring.
The next morning Rita was in the shop when Billy dropped by. ‘I’m off to Stranraer on the west coast of Scotland so I thought I’d come and say tarrah.’
She was touched but knew she had to keep her feelings firmly under control. ‘Does your father know you’re coming?’
‘Father Jerome phoned a message through but he didn’t speak to him because he was out. Someone was passing the information on without giving too much away. Hopefully I’ll only be away a few days.’ Billy’s hand strayed to hers on the counter and covered it. ‘I don’t know what to say to him. It’s hard to imagine how I’m going to feel seeing a man who’s the spitting image of the father I’ve believed was mine all these years.’
‘Take each moment as it comes. I’m sure you’ll think of something. One thing, you’ll know I’m thinking and praying for you. It’s such a hard thing to have to face up to.’
He smiled and toyed with her fingers. ‘You’re a good kid. I’m glad we met that time in Chinatown. If we hadn’t I don’t know what would have happened to the Brodies.’ He raised her hand to his lips.
A quiver ran through her and she attempted to make light of things. ‘Get away with you! You’re not thinking what you’re saying. If you hadn’t met me then you wouldn’t have met my aunt and she and your father would never have got together and you’d have never had
to go to China and broke your leg and —’
‘And on and on. You’d have never run away and met Sam again. He was telling me how you met him in Ludlow.’
‘I think these things are meant,’ she said. Her heart was imitating a drum beat because he still had hold of her hand; she had an overwhelming urge to press herself against him.
‘It was certainly a good thing for Sam. He —’ Billy never got to finish what he was going to say because the door opened and Sam staggered in. His face was ashen and a bloodied bandage was tied about his head.
‘What have you done to yourself?’ Dragging her hand free of Billy’s she rushed from behind the counter. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Archie crashed the lorry. He’s dead!’ Sam choked on the words.
‘How the hell did that happen?’ said Billy, following Rita over.
Sam moved his shoulders as if he had the weight of the world on them and tried to hold back his tears but a sob broke from him. Rita put her arm around him. ‘Don’t, Sam! You’ll have me crying.’
‘Jimmy said I’ve got to get the lorry repaired. I told him to sod off and he said I’d get the sack for speaking to him like that. I said I didn’t care about the bloody lorry. I know that can be fixed but I can’t fix Ar-Archie.’ He tried to choke back another sob.
‘Come on now, mate, pull yourself together,’ said Billy, patting Sam’s shoulder. ‘What you need is a strong drink!’
‘I’d like a cup of tea,’ said Sam.
‘Let’s go into the back,’ said Rita.
Between them she and Billy got Sam into the kitchen and she made hot strong tea. Sam stammered out how Archie had swerved to avoid a little boy who ran into the road and crashed into a lamp post.
‘It was horrible what happened to him. Horrible!’
Rita had tears in her eyes as she remembered the red-haired youth she had seen the day of the horse show. ‘You don’t have to tell us anymore.’ Her voice was husky. ‘You rest while I see Billy out. He’s got to go to Scotland today.’