by Wells, J
His lips searched hers out, and although his kiss wasn’t demanding, and in fact rather gentle, it felt foreign, like an intrusion. Her response was forced so as not to pull away or ruin the moment. But when she closed her eyes, she pictured Frank’s face, feeling his mouth, his touch. She could hear his proposal in her mind, and could picture him kneeling, presenting her with that beautiful ring she’d seen, but only through the mirror... Shit, the ring, Ruben’s ring! Lifting her head, their lips parted.
“Wish I didn’t have to go,” he said, squeezing her hand.
Then he jumped into the car, his face a continuation of smiles as he drove away. Heather hardly stopped to wave him off, the ring being paramount in her mind, knowing how much it meant to Ruben’s mum. She just couldn’t lose it, and she felt pure dread as to where it could be now.
She found her mum still pottering around in the annex.
“Mum,” she enquired, “you wouldn’t happen to have seen a washing bag on your travels, have you? I brought it back with me from Ruben’s.”
Her mum smiled, going into the utility.
“Is this what you’re after?” she said, returning.
Heather’s heart sank. “Not quite,” she replied, frowning at the empty white bag her mum presented her with.
“You can wipe that expression off your face, young lady,” she chuckled. “It’s in the top drawer in the dresser. Aren’t you the secretive one?”
“No, no, it’s not what you think.”
But her mum had already taken it upon herself to form an opinion, and stood beaming.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell your father.”
Heather rolled her eyes, knowing that whatever she said would be of no use whatsoever. Her mother was quite the stubborn old stick, and once she got a bee in her bonnet, there it stayed.
As Heather walked back into the main building and up the stairs, she could almost feel the room pulling her, the clock paying its respects with its hourly chime as she passed. The room was empty, yet on entering, she felt she was home. The drawer of the dresser was slightly open, and she pulled the cold brass handles; it was heavy, and creaked. The small box looked quite lost, and she held it up to her face, lifting its lid. A lone tear dripped, followed by another, and she closed her eyes, haunted by the sincerity of Frank’s proposal.
“Dearest Heather, could you find it in your heart to be my wife? My feelings towards you are unquestionable. On your acceptance, I would very much like to make an announcement about our forthcoming nuptials at the masquerade this evening.”
She played out her acceptance; Frank kneeling, placing the ring on her finger and looking up into her eyes, where they would lose themselves for the rest of their lives. She could feel the very foundations of herself crumbling, and she opened her eyes. In the moment she had unknowingly slipped Ruben’s ring onto the third finger of her left hand. She lay on the bed ensconced in the rich candlewick, pulling it around herself, comforting her broken heart. There she stayed, overwhelmed. She must have dozed off briefly, wishful dreams eventually leading to a deep and meaningful sleep.
~•••~
Her dreams were only short-lived, broken by a visit from the first rays of sunlight. Disheartened as to what the day had in store, she ambled down to the annex for breakfast. She could already hear her mother and father’s raised voices before reaching the kitchen, and got quite a surprise as she entered the room.
“Amy, my God, it’s been ages!”
Her sister looked up from a plate of crisp buttered toast.
“My little sister ... I don’t think so.” She smiled. “Haven’t you grown up? Quite the young lady now.”
She stood up and walked towards Heather, giving her that sisterly cuddle she hadn’t received for so long. There was a definite family resemblance, facially that is. She hadn’t got Heather’s height and so didn’t carry her weight too well, and with a five-foot-three-inch frame she appeared quite small and dumpy. The natural colouring of her hair highlighted a mask of varying shades of blonde. Her and their dad were like two peas in a pod, very business wise, and even at this time of the day she was dressed smartly in a suit.
“Didn’t know you were coming.”
“Yes you did, Hev, we told you yesterday over dinner.” Her mum looked up from the breakfast table and frowned. “I don’t know, you seem to walk around with your head in the clouds these days.”
Heather brushed her mum’s comment aside and turned back towards her sister.
“Well, now you’re here, how long have we got the pleasure of your company?”
“With Cliff working overseas for a month or more, it seemed perfect timing with the opening, oh, and your birthday.”
Heather was quite pleased that her husband was away, since she considered him to be quite cantankerous and abrupt. From what she could remember, meal times always ended up being such a drag, what with her dad and Cliff trying to lead the conversation, whilst everything else sort of disappeared into the background.
“Have you brought the bab with you then?” Heather asked, her last recollection of her niece being as a baby, only a few months old.
“Yeah, Dannika, she’s had her breakfast and is playing out in the gardens. She’ll love it here, with all the space. Don’t think we’ll see her till she gets bored.”
Sitting down to join them, Heather was about to take a sip from her cup when she saw that she’d left the ring on her finger. Forgetting her tea, she quickly slipped her hands under the table out of sight, before doing her utmost to remove it, but the twisting and pulling were to no avail; the ring was going nowhere. Her mind returned to her niece.
“In that case, I think I’ll go and find her, take her down to the lake and show her the fish.”
Grabbing a couple of pieces of bread, she slipped them into a sandwich bag,
“She’ll love feeding the ducks...”
She was thankful for the excuse to get out of the kitchen.
A blinding light filtered through her eyes as she walked outside. She felt a soft touch on her shoulder and an arm link through hers as her sister stole up from behind to join her.
“Aren’t you the dark horse, then? Few things you’re not telling me.” Amy laughed, stopped and looked Heather full in the face.
Heather’s brow rose quizzically.
“Come on, do you need reminding?” asked Amy. “That certain Mr Brown...”
“Oh, Ruben...” Heather’s eyes dropped.
“I met him when he popped in to see Dad earlier. Quite a dish, I’d say.”
Loosing Heather’s arm, Amy sat down upon the grass.
“Aren’t you going to join me?” She smiled at Heather, patting the ground. “Be nice to have a sisterly chat, eh?”
Seating herself beside Amy, Heather smiled back, quite shocked; though it was a nice kind of surprise, as they hardly ever had the opportunity.
“Did you get to speak to Ruben?” Heather asked, curious as to why Amy had brought him up all of a sudden.
“Yeah, he’s lovely. He couldn’t speak highly enough of you. Ruben’s very polite and well mannered. I can see why Dad’s taken him on as manager. Bit older than you, isn’t he?” she jibed.
“Yeah, must run in the family, what with Mum and you ... ten years between you and Cliff, is it?” Heather uttered sarcastically.
“No, Hev, I’m only joking. I’ve always said age is just a number when you love someone. You’re virtually eighteen anyway. Well, as far as I’m concerned Ruben’s perfect for the job, and perfect for you. So thumbs up, sis, you’ve got my approval.”
Feeling misunderstood and running her fingers through her hair, Heather closed her eyes, drowning out the reality of her sister’s words.
“Yeah, you would think that,” Heather piped up. “Everyone, including Mum and Dad, sings his praises.”
A confused frown broke out on Amy’s face. “Dad’s been good friends with Ruben’s father for years, and he’s seen quite a bit of Ruben lately. Mum and Dad both think
he’s lovely, and it’s nice you’re with someone they can trust so they haven’t got to worry.”
“Worry? Ha! You know, they let him take me away for the weekend, and it was only a few days after we met.” Heather laughed mockingly. “They’ve never worried about me; I’m beginning to wonder if they care at all.”
Amy’s eyes rolled. “Now who’s talking daft? Of course they care; you’ve never given them any reason to worry, that’s all. They trust you and they trust Ruben. Dad’s known him for years; that’s the only reason they let him take you away. You know that, don’t you?”
Heather could hear the sincerity in Amy’s voice.
“What with the business...” Amy lowered her voice on the off chance of being overheard. “Between you and me, Mum’s been having a few funny turns and getting confused, and Dad’s getting quite worried. But ya know what she’s like when it comes to seeing a doctor. Personally, I think they’ve taken too much on, too late in life. But God, Hev, course they care. They love you very much. Dad’s happy that Ruben’s looking after you so well.”
Heather sighed. “Things aren’t always what they seem.” Tears sparked in her eyes.
“Oh?” A look of anticipation spread across Amy’s face.
“I’ve been so stupid, Amy. I haven’t made any friends since we moved here and I guess I just needed to be close to somebody, anybody really. Ruben happened to be there at the right time...” Heather chuckled quietly to herself, thinking of the irony of that statement. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s gorgeous and he’s got some really nice ways, but at times he’s just too much. He may be all sweetness and smiles to everybody else, but when we’re alone and he doesn’t get his way...” She paused, and wiped the tear trickling down her cheek. “He changes, becomes a different person. I feel more like his property than his girlfriend, and that isn’t love. I mean, that’s not how you feel with Cliff, is it?”
Amy shook her head and lay her hand on Heather’s knee.
“The perfect Ruben,” Heather said, rolling her eyes, “who everyone spouts on about, had the gall to cheat on me, and me being me, stupid Heather Richardson, I just took it! And I still came back to him! Don’t tell Mum and Dad, but there was ... er ... is someone else, someone I loved.” She paused, correcting herself. “Still love... I mean, I found the best man I’ve ever known and I threw him away, so maybe Ruben is what I deserve.”
Amy grabbed Heather’s shoulders and looked around sharply.
“Why didn’t you tell Mum, or ring me if you couldn’t face telling her? I’ve only ever been a phone call away.”
Heather looked away, ashamed.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I realised how bad things were. I thought our relationship was normal.” Clearing her throat, she continued. “I guess I hadn’t anyone to compare Ruben with ... until I fell in love with Frankie. He was a gentleman. He treated me so differently.” She smiled, thinking back to those lost moments that she’d never get back. “I felt like a lady, a real lady, like I was truly cared for, like...”
Heather stopped talking and looked back at Amy, realising that her wishing was in vain.
“But that’s the past, and he’s long gone.”
Amy put her arm round Heather’s shoulders and pulled her sister close.
“If you’re really that unhappy, after your eighteenth come and stop with us.” Amy placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “You’re always welcome.”
“I don’t know where my feelings are at the moment, and I really don’t know what I want. But I worry that if I stay with Ruben, I’ll feel controlled and resentful of him, and Mum and Dad, too. I’m not like you, not as strong. I need to be loved, and I need to be needed. And I don’t think Ruben is up to the task.”
“My God, I’d have never thought it of him. I’m so sorry that I assumed ... I thought he was.... We all did. What a sneaky bastard! I suppose his sort always are a little crafty and manipulative, wearing a mask to hide what’s really there – a wolf in sheep’s clothing. But you’re wrong about something, Hev.”
“What?”
Amy looked deep into Heather’s eyes. She sat so close that for the first time, Heather saw the start of wrinkles that marked her sister’s age.
“You’re stronger than you think,” Amy said. “Stronger than most.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, most girls and women who get mixed with a guy like Ruben never get out. They rarely walk away, and the bastards just beat them down; not always physically, but mentally, like what you’ve already been through. And here you are, barely eighteen and you already see the red flags, and you see him for what he is. I’m proud of you for that ... absolutely brilliant, sis.”
Heather nodded and sighed. It felt so nice to be heard and validated for a change. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Amy jumped to her feet angrily.
“Well, no sister of mine is going to end up with a control freak! I think it’s time we have a convo with Mum and Dad.”
Heather stood up and grabbed Amy’s hand.
“Not now! Wait till after my party.” Feeling confused, or guilty, she couldn’t tell which, Heather added, “We might be able to work things out. He’s trying, and things between us are gradually getting better.”
“Eh...Who are you trying to convince, Hev?” Amy’s voice and expression were filled with concern. “Can’t you hear what you’re saying? That attitude is what got you here in the first place. You’re just making excuses for him. And if he’s like you say, he’ll never change...”
“Well, I’ve made my decision, and my decision is to wipe his slate clean. I’m going to give Ruben until my eighteenth, and if I’m still unsure then, I’ll walk away and take you up on your offer to stay with you for a few weeks to clear my head. But promise me, you won’t breathe a word of what I’ve told you to Mum and Dad? Please promise; I do love him y’know, it’s just complicated.”
Amy smiled. “If you say so. If that’s what you really want, then yes, I promise. For now, let’s get through your birthday, and we can discuss your decision later. You know where I am if you need me.”
Amy squeezed Heather’s hand, and Heather watched her sister turn and walk back into the manor to join their parents.
She felt an over-whelming warmth through her body, and the sweet song of birds and children laughing rested softly against her ears.
Walking through Freesdon Manor’s gardens, she was welcomed by the scent of pollen from the wild roses, the last bloom of forget-me-nots and the newly mown grass. She peered between the wispy branches of a nearby weeping willow overlooking the lake, her eyes immediately drawn to a young girl playing. Plastic cups and saucers were laid out neatly on a rectangular plaid picnic blanket. Heather couldn’t see her face, as her back was turned towards her, but she could hear the conversation, her mood light. She watched her body language and saw that her head was tilted back, as if she found something amusing, and she heard her playful laughter drift into the air. A menacing picture sprung to mind as she looked at her niece and the clothes she wore: a crochet cardigan, partially covering a black and white polka-dot dress, and light ash-blonde hair enhanced by the sun’s natural light, cascading down her back in loose ringlets. The visions from the Ouija board came to life in front of her eyes, and all that was missing was the boy. The girl appeared to be lost in conversation with an empty space that sat beside her. Don’t be silly, Heather thought, just childish games, an imaginary friend; all children have them. The young girl stood and ran towards her, humming. She crouched down, taking her hands.
“Hello, Dannika. I bet you don’t remember me. I’m your aunt, Aunty Heather.”
Dannika smiled, her lips pressed closely together, so still managing to hum.
“Is that a tune your mum sings to you?”
Dannika shook her head. “No, not Mummy.”
“I’ve heard it before.”
“Ring a ring o’ roses, silly.” Dannika laughed, skipping off.
An unbelievable coldness ran through Heather, and she could see the boy’s face in her mind as clearly as when he had sat before her on the train. She could even see the dirt ingrained into his skin. The mist was starting to clear, and she saw that the boy was Anna’s son, and quite possibly Frank’s also. Her mind shifted to the gold pendant on the bed, but it wasn’t a pendant, it was a pocket watch, the very same one Frank had in his possession when she had met him aged thirteen. That must have been what Anna meant when she referred to her fancy man; she was referring to Frank. Yet there was no way Anna could have known Frank was the father; it was just an unbelievable hope on her part. Heather could still see the blue tinge to the boy’s lips, the raised red markings visibly marching across his body, her breath picking up the strong scent of roses. The nursery rhyme he hummed was the same as the one Dannika was humming now, and it portrayed the awful way in which he had died in the workhouse. And Heather was there, beside Anna, witnessing it all, even down to his last breath. She recited the nursery rhyme aloud.
“Ring a ring o’ roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down.”
So much sadness in a simple children’s rhyme; the rash, the sneezing and coughing, the posies carried, and finally, the black roses – the symbol of death.
“What do you want from me? Leave us alone, all of us!” Heather cried, walking over to the picnic blanket where Dannika had been playing so nicely. She fell to her knees, horrified; it was only small, but as she picked it up between her fingers she saw that it was a clear glass marble. Even if the song had been coincidental, the marble had removed even the slightest question of doubt. Heather now knew that the boy had already introduced himself to Dannika.
Whenever she felt stressed or troubled, or just needed time away to think, she went to the lake. Feeling unnerved by what she’d seen, every bone in her body ached, her mind heavy. She dragged herself through the gardens, before sinking down on her and Frank’s special spot. With hardly a breath of air, the lake was mirror-like, not a ripple distorting its perfection. She looked down into the water, questioning her own reflection. Was this Anna’s way of taking revenge? A vendetta for which her family was left to pay the price? It didn’t bear thinking about. Perhaps Dannika was the key, the boy’s way in somehow? Tricks could be played on young minds very easily, a continuous overlapping of pretence and reality. She remembered the Ouija board, and asking Frank what he wanted, to which he had replied, ‘a life’. Was that the prize he’d come back to claim?