by Nikisha Mock
“Why not? She invaded my personal space,” I said and shrugged.
“She’s clearly not as Billy Bad Ass as she tried to seem because that should have been an automatic fight.”
“I knew she wasn’t. Sometimes I can read people pretty well. And the way she listened to Fallon like a little puppy was pathetic. Speaking of, you are going to have to check Fallon’s ass again soon, I see. She’s beyond stupid. What did you do to that girl?”
“Nothing. She’s never liked me. Cam said she’s hard on every woman he gets with. Apparently, he doesn’t mind or else she wouldn’t do this dumb shit. She just called that girl over there a bitch too but I guess she’s less of a bitch than I am since she’s over there talking to her. That’s his baby mama. I’m guessing he’s still fucking with her even though he said he wasn’t. I am going to tell Cam about this little incident though. If he doesn’t put her in her place and quick, I’m going to have to step off.”
“Well, you’re about to get your chance,” I said and nodded towards the door.
Cam and three of his friends had just walked in. Every single one of them was fine and fly as ever. They commanded attention as they walked through the thick crowd and every girl in the place was looking in their direction it seemed, especially three in particular.
The DJ started playing that song about feeling like a man when he walked through and it couldn’t have been more appropriate. Their clothes weren’t flashy but you could tell they cost a grip and they had on enough bling to blind everybody in there.
Just when Cam looked like he was about to make his way over to the bar, the one named Lana intercepted him. They were having some sort of heated exchanged and Cam looked uncomfortable as hell. He looked over towards the bar and him and Ayanna locked eyes for a minute. Lana turned to see what he was looking at and seemed to get really pissed. Ayanna played it cool and kept serving drinks. I was watching the whole thing, just waiting for something stupid to pop off.
Finally, Cam put his hands on Lana’s arms and moved her out of his way. She looked hurt and ran off towards the bathroom. Fallon, with her trifling ass, had the nerve to laugh like she wasn’t just standing there talking to the girl not even five minutes ago. Cam walked up to the bar and took a seat next to me. His friends walked on, making their rounds.
“’Sup ma?” he said and nodded at me.
“It’s all you, man. You’re quite the hot commodity tonight,” I said sarcastically.
“Oh what, that?” he said nodding his head in the direction he and Lana had just had their little beef. “That’s nothing. Just my baby’s mama trippin as usual. Yanna! Bring your fine ass over here girl,” he yelled and smiled.
As usual, Yanna ignored him at first. She was pissed. I knew my girl. Even though she was smiling at the guy who was flirting with her, she was really about to blow. Cam’s jaw twitched. He was getting pissed off too. He called her name again and this time she yelled back, “What?”
He shook his head and smirked. “A’ight ma, you got that one. I’ll see you later,” Cam said and walked off.
Ayanna looked hurt. This time she ended her conversation with the guy at the bar and walked over to me again.
“I cannot stand his ass sometimes. He’s exciting and damn good in bed but I’m starting to think he ain’t worth all this unnecessary bullshit Eva.”
“Yeah, it is a handful I swear. So what are you going to do girl?”
“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out though. He got way too much going on in his life so he needs to just leave me alone.”
“I feel you. Well, I wasn’t going to stay until closing but something tells me I should.”
“You don’t have to girl, I’m straight. As long as I got Roxy with me, I ain’t worried about nothing.”
“Hahnnnn?” I said, mimicking French Montana. We laughed. I loved my girl and if she said she was straight then I had to believe that. I hugged her from across the bar and cashed out my tab.
On the ride home, I sent Tyler a text asking if he was okay and where he was. I managed to make it all the way home and still no answer from him. I went in, took a shower, and was brushing my hair when I heard the car garage open. Tyler walked in smelling like two liquor houses and looked a hot mess.
“Tyler! You drove home like that?”
“You know you would have been pissed if I didn’t come home,” he slurred his words.
“I would have come to get you. Please don’t ever do this again. Look at you, you can barely stand up straight,” I said, standing to help him over to the bed. He sat down real hard and just looked at me.
“You have a good time, baby?” he asked.
“I did but not half as much as you did obviously. Where did y’all go?” I asked him.
“Ah man, we went to some little hole in the wall spot Jay told us about. Baby, I don’t feel too good, I’m about to take a shower and lay down, alright?” Tyler said real fast.
He seemed to be in a hurry to get to the bathroom so I moved out of his way. I was thinking he was going to throw up. While he was in the shower, I just shook my head. Tyler had never been a heavy drinker but from time to time, he and the boys would go in. Apparently, this had been that kind of night. I already knew there would be no action so I waited for him to get done with his shower.
When he came out, he was completely naked and looked fine as hell, even though he was drunk. I told him to lie down on his stomach and I straddled his back. I put lotion all over his body from his shoulders down to his feet and then told him to turn over so I could do the other side. I massaged him real good and he got hard instantly but I didn’t really mean to do that.
He reached up and pulled me down to lay on top of him. We kissed and his breath was now fresh like mouthwash. I loved this man of mine but something was off lately. I couldn’t really put my finger on it, but something was up. For now though, I decided to just enjoy my man. I was so in love. So, so in love.
Chapter Thirteen
Ciara
“I really enjoyed myself with you tonight,” I said to Darren as he pulled to a stop in front of my house.
He had taken me to a nice Asian bistro for dinner. We enjoyed a nice conversation and the food was delicious. Darren showed up with flowers and opening car doors for me. He was the perfect gentleman all evening. It was a nice twist to what I was used to even though Jay hadn’t been all bad. He just had absolutely nothing on Darren.
The entire night he told me all about himself. He was a car salesman who seemed to be doing pretty good for himself. He had one grown son from his previous marriage. He was originally from Detroit, Michigan so I enjoyed asking him all about where he grew up. Darren was easy to talk to and seemed open and honest. So when I said I enjoyed myself with him, it was really an understatement.
“I enjoyed you too, Ciara. It’s nice to sit and talk with an intelligent woman. An intelligent and beautiful woman I might add.”
“Aww shucks, I bet you say that to all the girls,” I giggled.
There was something about Darren that just lit me up inside. I was very attracted to him instantly. He touched my leg and looked at me.
“I would like the opportunity to get to know you better Ciara. That’s if you’ll let me?” he asked politely.
“Of course. Call me tomorrow, okay?” I said and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.
He accepted that kiss and then turned my face gently to meet his. He kissed me so softly that I thought I would just float away. When it was over, he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and my cheeks felt warm.
“Tomorrow it is, my dear,” he said as he let me go and I got out of his car. I waved goodbye to him and turned to walk inside my house. Just then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something move on my porch. Before I could scream, Jay jumped up and was all in my face.
“Who the fuck is that, huh? Bitch, you fucking that nigga?” Jay said, spitting with every word as he grabbed my arm and shook me.
“Bitch? Jay what the hell is wr
ong with you? Why are you here? And if you don’t let go of me!” I screamed and jerked my arm away from him but he grabbed me again.
“I asked you a question, Ciara. Who is that nigga?”
“Jay, you’re drunk! Let me go, please. You’re hurting me!”
I still had my keys in my hand and reached to unlock the door but Jay snatched my keys. Without letting go of my arm, he unlocked the door with his other hand. He pushed me inside and slammed the door behind him.
“You think you can just fuck other niggas and I not say shit about it? You been ignoring my calls and won’t answer the door when I come by. Look at you. How long you been fucking that dude, huh? Probably long before we broke up I bet.”
I was crying and a little scared. I had never seen Jay like this before. The number one thing I was thinking was that I had to get him out of my house.
“What are you talking about, Jay? You left me, remember? For your nasty ho, Asia. Did you forget that? You got a lot of nerve coming here like this. What I do and who I fuck is none of your damn business! That’s been a fact ever since you left to be with that stank bitch! If you don’t get out of my house I’m calling the damn police and you know I will.”
Jay stopped moving for a second, and then he looked down at his feet.
“Ah man, what the fuck am I doing? I’m sorry, Ciara. I’m drunk and the only person I could think of was you. I miss you baby. Please, give me one more chance?” he said.
To my amazement, he started to cry. I didn’t feel sorry for him in the least bit and I still wanted him out of my house. I never knew Jay to be an angry drunk but a lot of things had changed for both of us over the past few years so you just never knew.
“Jay, what I need for you to do is leave my house. Please. I’m asking you nicely,” I said in a calm voice while slowly walking towards him.
“You gonna put me out? Again, Ciara? Look, I made a stupid mistake! Why can’t you see that?”
Before I could respond, Jay grabbed me again and tried to kiss me. I tried to move away from him but he was stronger than I was. He was rubbing all over me now and I was crying and yelling. He kept trying to kiss me and I kept turning my head so he put both hands on the sides of my face and forced me to hold still while he forced his nasty tongue down my throat. He tasted like one too many drinks and cigarette smoke. I thought I would gag. He pulled my dress up and pulled my panties to the side. I slapped at his hands but he kept pushing up against me.
“Nooooo! Jay, please don’t do this! What is wrong with you?” I pleaded and cried. At this point, I was hysterical. Was he really about to rape me?
“I know you still love me. Let me show you how much I still love you. Stop moving so much Ciara!” he yelled and then he slapped me real hard.
I immediately reached up to grab my face. I swung and punched him in his eye which only made him more determined to violate me. Jay grabbed my hair and pulled my head back and then, without warning, he entered me forcefully.
“Nooooo! please stop! You’re hurting me!” I screamed.
He continued to ram himself up in me. I was dying inside. How could he do this to me I was thinking. All of a sudden though, not too long after he started, he stopped and looked at me. I was crying silently now. A part of me had given in to the violation. I was almost limp.
“Oh, baby, I’m….I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. Ciara, I’m so sorry baby,” Jay was now crying again and touching my face where he hit me.
He kept kissing the spot where his hand connected with my face and I used the opportunity to kick him in the damn balls. He fell to his knees and then doubled over in pain. I ran to the kitchen and got the biggest knife I could find.
“Jay, I’m telling you right now. If you don’t leave this house right now, I will cut you up one side and down the other. I love you but I will send us both to hell if you touch me again you piece of shit!” I screamed and spit in his direction.
“You love me? I knew it! Ciara, I’m real sorry baby. I’m messed up. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t love that scandalous bitch! You’re the only woman I have ever and will ever love. I’m messed up baby. Please. Forgive me.”
He was crying and pulling at my leg. I don’t know what came over me. I finally broke. Seeing him on the floor like that, no dignity left, I truly felt sorry for Jay. All the memories and all the good times came flooding back to me and I fell down to my knees beside him. He opened his arms and I leaned into them.
I cried because I knew it was stupidity. But, the reality of it was, a part of me never really got over Jay. Even after having my heart broken by him. We sat like that for hours, just crying and holding each other. I’m not even sure when we fell asleep. All I knew was that I was afraid to let Jay go. He had managed to sneak his way right back into my life.
Chapter Fourteen
Ayanna
After the club was closed and the bar was cleaned, I told Al that I was done for the night. He had Mal walk me out to my car. As we approached it, Cam was leaning on it looking fine as hell. I hated that he turned me on so much, especially when I was supposed to be mad at him.
“You straight, Yanna?” Mal asked. He took good care of all the girls and made sure we got to our cars safely.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I said and patted Mal on the arm.
“Alright. Later fam,” Mal said to Cam and nodded. Cam nodded back. I walked up to my car and just stared at Cam for a minute.
“Can you move, please? I’m tired and I’m trying to get home.”
Cam stepped aside and walked around to the passenger side. I stared at him.
“Quit playing girl, unlock the door,” he said.
I sucked my teeth then unlocked the doors and got in. Cam got in the passenger seat.
I looked over at him. “What, man? What is it that you want?”
He put his head down and shook it from side to side. Then he blew his breath out before he spoke.
“Look, Yanna. My bad on all the drama tonight. Fallon wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how she and Niecy stepped to you and Eva. I’m sorry about all that. I almost fucked Fallon up over that shit. She can be childish as hell sometimes.”
I just shook my head. Now he was finally starting to see what I had been telling him all along about his stupid sister. But that wasn’t the only thing that had me heated that night and I let it be known.
“Oh so you’re just gonna sit there and act like I didn’t see that shit with you and Lana? That’s how you gonna play it now?” I said with more attitude than I intended to have.
“You know Lana stay trippin too, ma. I can’t control these chicks.”
“No, but you can control where you’re sticking your dick though. Tell me something, Cam. Are you still fucking Lana? Yes or no?”
“Yanna, it’s mad late. I’m not trying to be out here arguing with you. I stayed because I wanted to see you. I let Romell take my car on home with him. Can we please just go to your house?”
“Answer my fucking question Cam! Are you still fucking Lana?” I yelled.
“Yes! Shit! From time to time, I fuck Lana. You happy now?”
Is he serious? Hell no I wasn’t happy! We never put any label on what we were but I just assumed it was nothing but me and him, probably because that’s the lie he told me whenever he was at my house sexing me down. Now he had just admitted that he was still messing around with his daughter’s mom like it was no big deal. And I had asked him so I got the answer I asked for I guess.
I tried not to cry. I tried to will the tears not to fall but I lost that battle. All the hardcore exterior I had been fronting with went right out the window. A single tear fell from my eye and Cam looked pitiful.
“Damn. Listen, I ain’t trying to play you, alright? But you asked me and I wasn’t trying to lie to you. Lana and I have been through a lot of shit together and I may have slipped up a time or two. But she’s the past and you my future, Yanna. I want you bae, nobody
but you. I promise that shit is over. All you gotta do is tell me you’re still down for me?”
I was losing it. I was coming apart it seemed like. How come they always do this shit? Drop a bomb on us and then expect us to forgive and forget? Should I just lick my wounds and move on like nothing happened? I didn’t even know if I was in love with Cam or not at the moment but I was hurting because the truth does that to us. I was still crying and Cam reached to wipe my tears away. I slapped his hand away. He looked like he wanted to slap me back and I looked at him like I wished he would.
“Aye, I ain’t about all that fighting shit, alright? But if you hit me again, I will hit your ass back, believe that. I’m sorry girl. Can we just go to your house and chill? I’m right here, with you. That’s where I want to be and that’s all that matters. Ain’t another chick that can touch you, Yanna.”
“I know that. But see, what you won’t do is tell me some old bullshit and expect me to just accept it! You have been fucking me, sometimes unprotected, for a good minute now and you failed to mention this minor little detail, huh? You know how mad I was when Fallon mention all these “bitches” you got, huh?” I yelled, putting my fingers up to mimic quotation marks when I said that.
“Man, Fallon would say anything to piss you off. I know you don’t believe anything her ass says.”
“Apparently she hates me enough to tell me the truth because you sure didn’t until the shit hit the fan,” I responded.
I started my car and shook my head. We drove to my house in silence. Cam wasn’t the one to be arguing for too long. I was surprised he still wanted to be around me after I went off the way I did. But I wouldn’t have cared if he left because at that moment I was hurt and pissed off too.
I walked inside my house and Cam was right behind me. He grabbed my waist but I slapped his hands away. I went straight to my room and turned on the shower in my bathroom. I stepped out of my clothes and got in, not even giving the water time to get all the way hot. Cam stripped down and got in behind me. I washed with my back to him and he reached up to caress my shoulders.