“What are you doing?”
She sighs. “Abigail, you know it isn’t a good idea to go anywhere without any of the guys,” she replies.
From the anguished look in her eyes, I know she wants to call someone.
“You don’t have to remind me how Matt feels about me going out without Julio, but I promised him the day off and this is your only day off this week,” I remind her. “I’m tired of depending on everyone else to be my chauffeur. Besides, I have my glasses,” I say holding my big oval shades up to show her.
Kelly knows she’s been defeated. “Fine, then, let’s go. But I’m still texting David and telling him where we’re going just in case we have a repeat of the mall,” she mumbles while texting away on her phone.
With a guilty sigh, I do the same to Julio. She’s right. He should at least know where I’m at just in case. My excitement is increasing with the thought of my plans today, but the excitement is soon replaced with nervousness the closer we get to our destination.
Two hours later, the knots that I got in my stomach as we arrived have been replaced with frustration. Who knew buying a damn car would be such a confusing decision? Kelly brought me to what they called ‘the mile of cars’ hoping it would help make the decision easier, but for some reason it made it harder. There was too many to choose from and no particular one was catching my attention.
“How about this one?” Kelly asks, walking over to a white Mercedes Benz. I look as I rub at my forehead to try to ward off the headache I have. Taking in the car, I crinkle my nose, making her roll her eyes. “What’s wrong with this one? The color?” she asks, making me sigh again.
“It’s not the color, it’s more the car,” I tell her, staring at the price tag on the window. “I just can’t justify spending this much money on a car.”
She grows confused. “What do you mean? You can easily afford it, Abigail. Why wouldn’t you want it?” she asks, looking back at the car. Unfortunately, I don’t hold the same excitement she does.
“I’m not always going to be loaded,” I claim as I walk away.
I try my best to ignore the disappointed sigh she gives me as she sadly looks back at the car. I think she wants the car more than I do. At this point I’ve pretty much given up on the decision. This day was beginning to feel like a failure. I visited over five dealerships and still could not decide on a car. But in my defense, Kelly kept escorting me to the high-end models.
Giving up, I begin to walk back to Kelly’s car. It’s when I’m about to climb in that I take one quick glance across the street and see it. My car. I head straight in its direction, leaving Kelly confused as she rushes to catch up to me.
I reach her taking her completely in.
“Hello ladies, are you interested in test driving the car?” the old salesman asks as I picture myself behind the wheel. “I don’t need to test drive it. I’m taking it home,” I inform him.
“This is the one?” Kelly doubtfully asks as she takes in the Dodge Challenger sitting in front of us.
“Yes, without a doubt.”
With a humoring smile on her face, she shakes her head. “Why doesn’t it surprise me?” she says chuckling.
I glide my fingers across her candy apple red gloss of paint that is shining under the sunlight, a beacon that was calling for me to come get her. To me she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, making me smile because I know she’s going to be mine.
The salesman is already excited. He knows he’s made an easy sale without having to put any effort into trying to convince me. Even if anyone tried to talk me out of buying the car, I wouldn’t allow them. I was going home with this car.
Two hours later I’m walking out the door with the keys to my new car. All I had to do was authorize the transfer with the bank and I was signing the paperwork needed to register the car. They have already brought her up to the front of the dealership, primed and ready for me to drive her home. I climb into her for the very first time, taking in the new car smell that is effusing into air. The brand new leather beneath my skin feels like silk against my body and when I start her up the purr she gives me sends a prickle through my body as I close my eyes and take in the sound. It sounds like music to my ears as I listen to her sing to me. Before putting her into drive I turn on the radio, the lyrics of Wide Awake sing through the speakers, making me smile. This could not have been a more perfect song for me at this very moment. Throwing her into drive, I step on the pedal and drive out of the parking lot feeling on top of the world.
I make it back to Kelly’s place faster that she does because I was pushing the speed limits on the open freeway that was clear of traffic. Matt never let me pass the speed limit when I drove his car, which caused the need for me to do it in my car.
It doesn’t surprise me when I see Julio standing next to his car as I pull up into the spot next to him, his eyebrow going straight up as I climb out of the car. “I leave you alone for one day and this is what you go buy?” he answers with a smirk on his lips.
I’m shocked by his words. “I needed a car,” I answer.
“When you said you were buying a car, I thought you would’ve chosen better,” he replies.
“How can you say such a thing? Lola’s an awesome car,” I sternly tell him, defending her.
He grunts. “Really, you named your car Lola?” The look on his face telling me he hates the name, but I don’t care.
“It’s my car.”
He takes in the car again. “I guess it shouldn’t surprise me you chose this car,” he casually states.
My smile widens. “Nobody is going to tell me I can’t drive Lola. We’re going to ride off into the sunset every day with no one to tell us we can’t,” I say, holding my arm extended out towards the already glistening horizon where the sun has started to set.
Julio looks off into the distance with me while he laughs. His laughter is contagious as I too take in my own words. When our laughter dies down I see Kelly walking up to us with a smug look on her face. “I take it you’re still happy with your decision?”
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I just feel like you chose the car because you can’t get Matt out of your mind,” she replies.
Shocked, my jaw drops. “I didn’t buy the car because of Matt,” I defensively answer.
She takes in the car one more time. “Okay, if this is the car that is going to get you out of your funk, then so be it,” she conveys with a smile.
All three of us stand there staring at the car. I’m feeling happier than I have in days.
MY BODY IS aching and sore from my game just moments ago. I’d pushed myself harder than I normally would, needing to rid myself of all my pent up tension I had inside of me. Our win is bittersweet. It’s the win we needed to help push us into Nationals, but the entire time my heart was aching from the absence of the two people I wanted in the stands cheering me on.
My heart was desperately wishing Abigail would have been in them, but I knew she wouldn’t be. Alone in an empty locker room with my thoughts to keep me company, I relinquish to my misery surrounding my heart. I could not resist glancing up to the stands before I exited the field, wishing Abigail were there, but I knew she wouldn’t be because she’s still mad at me. Pushing the disappointment aside, my thoughts wander to my last homecoming game, a smile tugging at my lips from the memory.
Gradually making my way to her, she’s already beaming with pride as her smile illuminates her face. Reaching her, I lean down to engulf her in my arms, my lips firmly press against her cheek. I hold her longer than expected, listening as she giggles against my ear. She’s already shoving at my chest to let her go, but I swing her around in a circle so I can continue hearing her sweet giggle.
“Matthew, you’re going to make me smell,” she playfully chastises as I bring us to a stop. “Most girls would kill to be in my arms at this moment, Em,” I tease as she slides down my body.
She snickers. “Of course they would. I don’t
know whether it’s a privilege or a curse that you seek me out first,” she implies with her nose scrunched up.
“How was your flight?”
“Well, as always. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner than this afternoon,” she expresses, the guilt now replacing her smile.
Grasping her tight against my chest again, I ignore her protest to release her. “You’re here, and that’s all that matters,” I express against her hair.
Emily has been to every single one of my games, regardless of where it was. Most of the time she barely makes it on time because of her schedule, but to me it didn’t matter. All I cared about was that she made it.
She gently pushes away so she can look up at me. “Speaking of girls, where’s Laura? I haven’t seen her,” she states, already searching for her amongst the crowd.
“She’s not here,” I answer as I pull away from Emily. “She’s sort of mad at me right now for forgetting her birthday,” I shamefully admit.
Tsking. “I don’t understand that girl sometimes,” she replies.
Her response doesn’t take me by surprise. Although she’s tolerated Laura, recently she’s been expressing how we both need to move on. It was I who was stubbornly holding onto the hope that things would get better. “Homecoming is the most important game of the season. She should have been here,” she says.
Pushing the bitterness I’m now feeling from the realization of her words, I force a smile. “It’s okay, Em. You were here, which is all I need,” I somberly say.
“As I always will be. I wouldn’t miss your games for the world,” she states.
I’m now genuinely smiling from her words. She’s right. Girls may come and go, but knowing that I’ll always have my sister at my games is all I need. She’s the most important person in my life and no matter what happens, I know she will always be there for me, as I will her.
My memory is broken with the bang of the locker room door slamming shut. Hanging my head, I rake my hands through the strands of my hair, miserably sighing to myself. The sound of footsteps nearing makes me start removing my gear. The action is more to disguise my emotions to whoever is approaching and is now at my side. Glancing up to see who it is, I see Trey already taking a seat on the bench next to me. As I continue to remove the pads from my shoulders, I roughly toss them onto the floor; an exasperated sigh leaving my lips.
“I miss her, too,” I hear Trey mummer.
From the corner of my eye, I see him bleakly staring at the lockers ahead of us. Those four words tear at my soul, reminding me she’s gone. I cave to the tears that were threatening to release and allow them to fall. Slowly they trickle down my cheeks as I sit there and somberly remember Emily.
Trey remains silent and dazed at my side, but from the sigh that soon escapes from his lips, I know he’s grieving alongside me. Had it been anyone else besides him, I would have never submitted to my pain, but knowing he understands, is the reason why I had. Emily might not have his blood, but she treated him just the same, and her death hurt him just as much.
It isn’t long before the rest of the team gradually makes their way in, forcing my tears to dry up and disappear, but the thoughts and memories that were in my mind are still there. They forever will be.
Composing myself the best I can, I shower and dress. Since Trey’s family flew in for his game, he had invited me to join them for dinner after. Exiting the building with Trey, we make our way back onto the field to find his family. When we near the small crowd, I see Abigail standing with them, lighting up the darkened skies that had loomed above me. Julio is discreetly standing behind her as he stands at Kelly’s side to converse with Trey’s mother. I cannot help but quicken my steps to reach her faster. Her eyes find mine and the smile she gives me radiates from ear to ear.
“There they are. It’s about time. I’m starving,” Trey’s dad declares when he eyes us walking in their direction.
Trey’s mother nudges him. “We all know you’re hungry, but do you have to keep complaining about it?” she scorns, extending her arms out when I reach them.
Happily, I give in to her request. “You disappeared without a word after the game,” she says, pulling away to look at me with saddened eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I quietly reply, knowing from the expression on her face she understands why I disappeared so quickly. The sincerity in her eyes as she continues looking at me while she pats me on the cheek makes my eyes go glassy.
She gives me a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. You’re here now,” she states before stepping away. My eyes automatically find Abigail’s. I cannot resist pulling her into my arms. “You played a really good game today,” she expresses.
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” I admit.
Yanking her head back, she’s wide-eyed as she asks, “Why would I miss your game?”
Testing her, I say, “Because you’re mad at me.”
“I am, but I wasn’t going to miss homecoming. You always told me it’s the most important game you play,” she replies.
Her response takes me back to my earlier memory and the words Emily gave me. Without hesitation, I kiss her. She is taken aback at first, her body going rigid in surprise. But within seconds, she’s returning my kiss and I forget we’re surrounded by a crowd of people as I hungrily kiss her. I’ve missed her lips… I’ve missed the taste of her.
“Dude, you don’t have to eat her face off to prove she’s yours!” Trey exclaims.
His words cause Abigail to pull away, her head already whipping in his direction. “Shut up, Trey!” she scornfully shouts at him with her signature, I’m going to kick your ass look. The sight of her angry at him makes me laugh, until she turns to give me the same look, but it doesn’t faze me a bit. Leaning down I happily kiss her again, earning me a softened mumble against my lips.
When I’m done I turn to face everyone. “You’ve all met Abigail, right?”
Clearing her throat before speaking, “Yes, she told us you were friends, but I’m a bit confused by the definition at this point,” Trey’s mom states, still looking confused.
I feel Abigail pull herself from my arms. “Yes, Mrs. Johnson, we’re just friends,” she clarifies.
“Abigail.”
“Nothing else,” she throws back at me as she fixes me with another glare. As much as I want to argue her point, this is not the place to do it. “Fine, friends it is,” I reply with a fabricated smile.
“You better not be kissing me like that, dude. I don’t do tongue with guys,” Trey sarcastically jokes, making everyone laugh and lightening the mood.
“What do you use then?”
“How about I take you under the bleachers and show you,” he responds, thrusting his hips in my direction. His mom immediately smacks him upside his head. “Trey Johnson, I did not raise you to be speaking that way in front of the ladies,” she reprimands. “You apologize.”
Glowering, he looks over to Abigail. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles as he rubs the back of his head. Mrs. Johnson nods her head in a silent approval before turning to me. “And you, young man,” she says, pointing her finger at me. “If I find out you break this young girl’s heart, you’ll be answering to me,” she sternly lectures. By the tone of her voice, I know she will kick my ass for sure if she knew I’ve already broken both our hearts.
“Yes, ma’am,” I answer, looking once again at Abigail. “I’m sorry,” I apologize down at her. She looks baffled. I keep my eyes locked on hers hoping she understands. By the way her lips go flat, I know she’s finally understood.
“Good, now let’s go eat. You boys must be hungry,” Mrs. Johnson announces.
Taking advantage of the fact that Abigail is here and willingly speaking to me again, I ask, “Do you all mind if Abigail and I take a rain check on dinner?”
“Matt,” Abigail apprehensively replies.
Deeply looking into her eyes, I implore, “Please, just you and me?” I tuck her hair behind her ear before saying, “We have a lot of time to make up for
.” Her shoulders drop and a smile creeps into her lips.
“Of course,” Mrs. Johnson cheerfully replies, and in the corner of my eye I can see everyone retreating away.
“Okay, but we’re eating food, nothing else,” she warns, but with a hint of laughter which is evident in her eyes.
Understanding her meaning, I lean down to whisper into her ear, “If you change your mind, I wouldn’t mind giving you something else for dessert.” Feeling the goose bumps rising against my lips as they touch her skin, she shoves me away and I hear a protesting mumble, “Never mind,” before she turns to try to walk away. Quickly catching up to her, I wrap my arm around her waist and continue walking with her as I say, “You win then. Food it is,” I express, unable to resist laughing as I continue holding her all the way to the parking lot, leading her to my car.
Looking behind my shoulder, I convey to Julio he’s got the rest of the night off before helping Abigail into the car. Climbing into the driver’s side, I see Abigail curiously eyeing me from the corner of my eye. “What’s your weakness tonight?” I cannot help but notice how her eyes roam by body. It takes every ounce of resistance to not smile from her reaction. “Pizza. My favorite,” she says, biting down on her bottom lip when done.
“Do you want sausage on that pizza?” I tease, now smiling from her earlier reaction as my eyes are matching the same hunger staring back at me. A blush creeps up her cheeks and a glimpse of a smile spreads across her lips. “However you prefer,” I hear her shyly reply.
Holding in my laughter, I start up the car and drive off to my destination. To help speed up time I called ahead for her pizza. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” I notify Abigail when we arrive. “We’re not eating here?” she asks, looking confused. “No, I thought we’d picnic somewhere today,” I relay before I rush out of my car to pick up our dinner. Back in the car within minutes, she’s already asking, “Where are we going?”
“It’s somewhere special. I promise.”
I’m driving up a winding road with the time quickly going as I try to remember how to get to my destination. Right as I think I will never find it again, it comes into view. When I put the car in park, I look over at Abigail to find her eyes wide in amazement as she stares over at the skyline of Portland in front of us from the top of the mountain. “Come on, the view is better from the outside,” I tell her, grabbing for the box of pizza. Popping my trunk, I reach inside for a blanket I always keep for emergencies and nod for Abigail to follow me so we’re sitting in front of the car.
Unspoken Promises Page 5