Reaching the bedroom, he shuts the door behind us, enclosing us in the room, not stopping until we reach the bed. When my back is pressed against the softness of the mattress, my mind awakens to the realization of what is about to happen. My thoughts return to the repercussions of what will happen if I give in to his request.
I yank my lips away from his. “Matt, I really should leave,” I breathlessly say to him while attempting to push him away. His eyes are locked onto mine, making my stomach feel as if I have a thousand different butterflies in it, as if it was the first time he’s ever laid eyes on me. His eyes have an effect on me. They make me weak in the knees and my heart turn into a puddle of mush.
Losing control, my hands grab at his waist, pulling him against my body, wanting the feel of his chest against mine. His lips slam back down to mine. I feel as if I might burst into flames.
His mouth skillfully kisses its way down the side of my neck and the need to have him inside of me intensifies with every second he makes me wait. When his mouth locks onto my breast, I let out a loud and desperate moan, wanting more. It doesn’t take long for him to get the message and he yanks my sports bra up and over my head. I’ve lost all coherent thoughts that I really should leave, but when it comes to Matt, I’m easily convinced to do otherwise.
Driving his hips against my opened thighs, he rubs his hardened erection against my already dampened core, his basketball shorts and my running shorts not leaving much of a barrier between us. I cannot take the torture of needing him anymore and I start to yank his shorts down, using my hands and feet as much as I can without breaking contact. I feel his hands to do the same to my shorts and I lift my hips to allow him to pull them down and off.
His hands tightly grip my waist as he lifts my body up, tossing me to the center of the bed. He crawls up to meet my body, stopping right above me as he looks down into my eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but his gaze alone is conveying the promise that I’ve always known Matt to give me—the promise that he will always love me and be there for me.
My legs drop open, inviting him to take possession of me. He doesn’t hesitate as he plunges deep inside me in one thrust. I gasp as he spreads the walls of my core, completely filling me. His hand comes to the side of my thigh, gripping it with force, as he pulls out and thrusts deeper inside of me. Needing to feel him closer than he already is, I wrap my legs around his waist, lifting my hips so he can thrust harder and faster. My nails are digging into his shoulders trying to hold onto him as he drives into me. He’s making the bed rock back and forth from the force of his thrusts, the headboard is pounding loudly against the wall. Our breathing is becoming labored and our moans are getting louder by the minute. Our sweat is building, giving us friction to move faster with each thrust against each other. I’m starting to feel my body tense up as it’s getting closer to finishing and when Matt starts to thrust faster against my core, I know he’s just as close.
I squeeze my inner walls wanting to feel more of him as he slides in and out of me. By body tightens before I’m thrown over the edge. My eyes are filled with fireworks exploding behind my closed lids as I yell out Matt’s name. Within seconds, Matt is following me as he moans out my name, but keeps pumping his hips, emptying the last of himself inside me, rocking us to a slow stop, leaving us both breathless, but fully satisfied.
My heart is racing a million miles per hour and I can feel Matt’s heartbeat matching my own against my chest. I dig my face into the side of his neck and breathe in the scent of sex and sweat that I love so much, wanting to preserve the memory. He turns his face to do the same against my neck and I can feel the warmth of his rapid breath against my skin. He gently suckles at my neck, sending another shiver through my body. Keeping us connected, he rolls us on our sides with my thighs still wrapped around him. “God, beautiful, I’ve missed you so much,” he states as his hand grazes my ass.
Still breathless, I manage a laugh. “It’s just my ass you missed,” I say before I try grabbing for his hand to remove it from its location.
He doesn’t let it go, but squeezes it hard before saying, “It’s more than just your ass that I miss, although I’m not going to lie, it’s a very fine ass.” His mouth meets mine to give me a kiss. I close my eyes to savor the feeling of his lips against mine as his warm hand glides up and down my back, soothing me against his warm body before I drift off into a dream.
It’s a sunny day, the heat of the sun shines down on our bodies, heating our skin. Matt and I are at the beach, the sounds of the rolling waves to the side of us as we walk along the shore, the feeling of the grainy sand relaxing me with each footstep I take. The feeling of love for the beach is coursing in my mind with every breath I take, savoring the salty scent of the sea.
“Emily, how do you know when you’re in love?” Matt curiously asks at my side. I look over at him, and even though he’s not looking directly at me, I notice his eyebrows are drawn tight in deep concentration as he keeps walking.
He’s only fifteen, so I’m confused why he would ask such a question. “Why do you ask? Are you interested in a girl, Matthew?” I say, curiosity getting the better of me.
He looks at me in shock and I can’t help but laugh at his expression. “No! I’m just curious. I wonder because you’ve never really dated since mom and dad died. I wonder if love is such a big deal. You sure don’t seem to want it.” The happiness from just moments ago has turned sour from his words, but I mask showing it.
“I haven’t dated much because I haven’t had time. I’m trying to start my business and I know love will come eventually.”
“But don’t you ever want to fall in love?” His teasing tone makes me smile.
“Of course I want to fall in love. Back to the original question,” I say trying to steer this part of the conversation from my loveless life. “When you fall in love, you’ll know. You’ll feel like you can’t live without that person,” I say with a sigh. “You’ll feel butterflies in your stomach, and you’ll start to want to spend every minute of the day with them. You’ll find ways just to be with them,” I explain, remembering how I felt the first time I thought I’d fallen in love. Of course it was a very long time ago.
Matt’s nose is scrunched up in disgust, making me laugh. “Don’t look so surprised.”
“If it’s as pathetic as you make it sound, then it’s not worth falling in love,” he says with a furrowed brow. “I don’t know why you girls make everything sound like a love story. I was expecting you to just say I’d want to fuck the girl,” he announces.
I gawk at his response, not believing that my little brother is thinking more with his penis than with his head. I’m definitely going to have to have the talk with him soon; hopefully it hasn’t been too late. “Matt, it isn’t always about sex.”
“Whatever,” he says, shrugging his shoulders at the subject. “I doubt I’m ever going to be stupid enough to fall in love. Why tie yourself down to one girl when there’s a sea of them out there?” he mocks, spreading his arm at the ocean to the left of him.
Stopping, I place my hands on my hips. “Matthew Garcia, I can’t wait until the day a girl makes you fall in love with her. You won’t know what bit you in the butt and I look forward to the day when I get to see you grovel at her feet.”
“Don’t hold your breath, Emily, or you might just die of suffocation. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be that stupid to let a girl strap me by the balls.”
My eyes go wide, I cannot believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. “Matthew,” I screech at him, “Where in the world did you learn language like that? I know I’ve raised you better than that,” I lecture him.
He laughs. “It’s called high school, Emily. Didn’t you go there, too?” The mocking smile he’s giving isn’t helping to dissolve my anger. I do the only thing I can do, which is slap him on the shoulder. I can’t help but laugh at his shocked expression.
I think back to how I liked it better when he was younger and still thought innocent
ly, but no matter how much he’s grown up, he will always be the little boy I love.
Matt’s arm tightens around my body and awakens me from the dream. He’s spooning me from behind and the warmth of his chest is radiating against my naked back. Knowing it’s best to not be here when he awakens, I carefully unwrap his arm from my waist and climb out of bed. Before I leave, I take one last look at the bed where Matt is still asleep. He’s taken the pillow in his arms, wrapping his strong arms around it as if replacing my once warm body.
After dressing, I open the door trying to avoid it from creaking and shut it just as quietly. I’m walking into the living room, making my way to the front door, when I hear Trey’s chuckle behind me, forcing me to cringe and face him.
He’s lying on the couch with his phone in one hand and a beer in the other. As he brings the beer to his mouth, a smirk forms on his lips. “Doing the walk of shame, supermodel?” Not hiding his chuckle as he takes another swig.
I turn three shades of crimson from being caught. “It’s not shame,” I grimly reply, not admitting his point. “I want to get home so I can shower.”
“This is your home, beautiful, so you don’t have to go anywhere,” Matt’s sleep laced voice says from behind me, causing me to cringe because he’s caught me sneaking out.
Today is not my day.
Turning to face Matt, I see his saddened expression. “Matt,” I reluctantly say, but he cuts me off by pleading. “I’ll go back to staying in the extra room if that’s what it’ll take,” he promises. I see the sparkle of hope in his eyes and his plea is breaking down my walls. “Please, beautiful,” he continues to beg.
The blissfulness of his arms and spending time with him earlier is a reminder of what I desperately miss. I can feel the loss with the thought of walking away.
“Okay,” I reply, hoping I won’t regret my decision. “But you’re staying in the other room. We still have a lot to work out, Matt. This doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you.”
“I don’t care. As long as you’re under the same roof, ” he joyfully replies.
“I’ll go pack my clothes at Kelly’s. I’ll see you when you get back.”
He walks me out and gives me one final kiss before I climb into my car and drive away, happier than I’ve been in days. Mentally, I know I’m rushing to move back in with Matt, but deep in my heart I can’t take being apart from him any longer. My heart is still warning me Matt is keeping something from me, which is why I make another rash decision… One he will not expect me to make.
I WATCH ABIGAIL drive away, my heart still beaming inside from knowing she will be here when I return. Entering the house, Abigail’s earlier words come back to me and I know I have to start doing what’s right. Abigail opened up my eyes, making me realize I have a responsibility to someone other than myself, a life that is growing inside of someone else. The last thing I want is for my child to feel like he or she is second best. I need to put it first. My selfishness of focusing on getting Abigail back made me forget that I needed to make sure Lisa was taking care of herself. Going straight to the extra bedroom, I do the one thing I never thought I’d do if it weren’t for Abigail. I call Lisa so I can check up on the baby. Looking through my contacts, I find her name and push send, hearing her answer after two rings. “Hey, Matt, how you doing?” she cheerfully asks.
“Good. How are you feeling?” I ask in return.
“I’ve been better,” she answers with a sigh I can hear through the phone. I grow worried. “What do you mean?” I quickly ask.
“I’ve been having a lot of morning sickness, but I hear that’s normal when you’re pregnant, but other than that everything’s fine,” she states, making me let out the breath I was holding waiting for her to explain. I had thought something was wrong with the baby, bringing me to a point of worry. It occurs to me this is only the beginning.
“I’m glad you called. Do you want to get together and maybe go out for dinner?”
Grumbling to myself, I realize she’s taking this phone the wrong way. “I can’t. I have a game to go to soon,” I answer without taking her offer.
“You’re still coming with me to the appointment right?”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I say, trying to sound enthusiastic, but I can’t. Lisa, on the other hand, is able to do it for both of us. “Okay, I can’t wait.”
Ending the phone call before she can bring up any further invitations, I toss myself back on the bed, letting out another sigh. I think about all that is yet to come, hoping it will all work out in the end.
I wasn’t looking forward to going to San Francisco without Abigail. As I step off the plane, her absence was already eating away at my guilt. I keep telling my guilt ridden mind why I’d chosen to not to bring her along. The city held an experience I didn’t want Abigail to remember. The only good I had from it was the fact it was the city in which I realized I could not live without Abigail, but it’s also the city that holds my past. I kept forcing myself to push the thought away and instead focus on what I would have waiting for me when I return. It’s what kept the smile on my face and the dread pushed to the back of my mind.
I THROW THE ball. My aim is off, missing the receiver, earning the opposing team an interception. He’s immediately tackled to the ground, but my mistake will cost us. We’re already falling behind because of my previous mistakes. With the remaining time on the clock, there is no way we are going to win this game. With two minutes left, we’re still down my ten points. It’s an automatic win for the other team now that they have the ball.
The coach is already waving me over to the sidelines, and by the look on his face, I have a lecture coming. “What the hell is wrong with you today, Garcia? That should have been a simple pass for you!” he bellows, the frustration emaciating off his face.
I keep silent. My only explanation is my pussy whipped ass cannot concentrate enough on the game because my mind is elsewhere, but I’m not going to tell him that; he would probably blow a gasket. I should be playing at my best, but somehow my mind is somewhere else. My silence irritates him as he orders me to take a seat on the bench. Trey jogs his way over to me, stopping right in front of me. “What the fuck was that, dude? I did my job, at least do yours,” he growls after he removes his helmet.
“Back the fuck off, Trey.”
He snorts as he shakes his head before walking away. We lose the game, my teammates feeling disappointed over the loss. As everyone gathers around to greet their family and friends who’ve come to see the game, I’m already walking away when I hear her voice. “Matt.” I’m not surprised she’s here.
I turn to face Laura, her tiny body making its way over in my direction through the crowd of people. Sighing to myself, I’m already thinking this may not end well. “Hey, Laura,” I say, trying to keep it simple and nice as I give her a quick half hug with my arm.
She smiles up at me when I let her go. “I’m sorry you guys lost, but you played a good game,” she sympathetically tells me.
Pushing her pity to the back of my mind, I give her a brief nod. “How are things going?” she asks, as if digging for something to start a conversation.
“It’s going okay,” I answer, already looking around at the crowd hoping to find a distraction. I know it may look rude, but at this point I’m already counting the seconds in which I can find my escape.
Her smile turns to a frown, her eyes turning glassy. “My Nana Cuca passed away this week. I’m heading home tomorrow for the funeral,” she says as a tear escapes her eye.
Feeling guilty, I drop my helmet to envelop her in my arms as my lips meet her head. “I’m so sorry, Laura. I know how much she meant to you,” I whisper into her hair, giving her a kiss on the temple to try to comfort her as I rub her back.
Laura’s grandmother moved in with her parents when she was young and her grandfather had passed away. Naturally, she was close to her. I knew exactly how she was feeling. I feel Laura beginning to sob against my chest as I rub my hand up
and down her back trying to soothe her pain. I continue to kiss her head, reassuring her everything will be all right.
After a couple of minutes she calms and her lips are reaching up to mine. I pull her away so I’m whispering down to her. “Laura, I’m sorry, but I can’t,” I calmly tell her, trying not to cause her any more emotional pain.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened,” she apologizes. I know I should push her away, but her broken expression is keeping me from doing so. “I didn’t mean to break down on you that way,” she adds.
Feeling sorry for her, I give her another kiss on her forehead as she keeps her arms wrapped around me. “I understand,” I sympathetically answer. “I wish I could go with you to the funeral, but I can’t. I’ve already missed a whole week this semester. I can’t risk missing anymore school.”
She nods her head. “Where’s your boss?” she asks around another sniffle, searching for Abigail. It’s what it takes for me to put some distance between us. “She wanted to be here, but something came up and couldn’t come,” I say, already grateful she isn’t here. Laura doesn’t look convinced. “Will you tell everyone that I send my condolences? I’ll make sure to send some flowers to the house.”
It’s my way of ending our visit, knowing I have to head to the locker room to shower. I make my final goodbyes to Laura, promising to call her during the week. I give her one last tight hug and a kiss on her cheek as I do. She still looks grief-stricken and deep down inside I’m feeling like an asshole for not staying longer, but I keep walking away.
After showering and arriving back at the hotel, the first thing I do is call Abigail, wanting to hear her voice. She doesn’t answer, so I leave her a message, begging her to call me. I text her and tell her I miss her, hoping she will call back soon. Time passes with no call back, but I tell myself it must be because she’s busy or on a run. It’s my excuse as to why she hasn’t responded. An hour later, I try calling her again as I’m getting in bed, needing to hear her voice before I fall asleep. When she doesn’t answer her phone or the text message again, I grow worried. I check my earlier text message and notice she hasn’t responded to it either. I text Kelly next, hoping she will have an answer.
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