by Claudia King
Someone had found her. They had come to save her from the darkness she was lost in, and they were bringing her back.
"Mama," she wept as she buried herself in the woman's bosom. "Take me home."
Her mother embraced her, stroking her hair gently as she murmured soothing lullabies. She spoke in a strange tongue, but the sound of her voice was calming and filled with love. Netya hugged her tighter, letting her mother chase away all of the nightmares until the lights of the cave came back. She slept, knowing she was home.
It was hard to remember what had happened. She had been somewhere far away. The images in her mind were vivid, but they made no sense to her. Netya's mouth was dry, and her head ached terribly. She felt like she was waking from a long sickness, before the last traces of fever had completely left her.
Adel cradled her in her arms. At some point Netya had fallen to the ground, and her head now rested in the den mother's lap. When she moved, her mentor blinked, the distant look in her eyes snapping back from wherever her thoughts had been, replaced by the cold severity Netya was used to.
"Are you back with me?" Adel said.
Netya nodded, wincing at the way it made her head pound.
"Sit up, and drink this water. Your head will start to clear soon, but you will feel unwell until your body cleanses the last of the poison." Adel helped her to her knees and handed her a waterskin, from which she drank gratefully until it was empty.
Netya stared at the woven mat beneath her for a long time, feeling nauseous every time she tried to move. Her experience in the spirit world had shaken her more than anything in her entire life. It had seemed so real, and yet parts of it were as foggy and surreal as the wildest of her dreams. When she thought of the wolf, she wanted to curl into a ball all over again.
Now that she had experienced her first real vision, she finally understood the gravity of what it meant to be a seer, and the bravery that would be required of her if she continued on her path. To return to the spirit world willingly, to seek out the things she had seen all over again, seemed beyond her will to endure.
"How do you go back there?" she said, the words coming out of her throat like dry treebark.
"With experience, and with discipline," Adel replied. "Whether you can learn it will determine whether you are ready to be a seer or not. I told you, the spirit world can be a terrifying place. If you go there again you may see worse things yet, or you may witness blissful wonders that make you wish you could never leave."
Netya sipped from another waterskin when the den mother offered it to her, taking deep breaths until her stomach began to settle. Seemingly satisfied that her apprentice was no longer about to faint, Adel stood up and tidied away the bowl of nut meal that had spilled over the floor. As she moved away, Netya found herself staring past where the den mother had been sitting, directly into the eyes of the white wolf.
A small cry left her lips, and a wave of dizziness made her stomach lurch as she jolted away. Adel looked from the girl to the animal pelt she was staring at in terror, then lifted it from its wooden frame and carried it over.
Netya inched back, still trembling from the memory of her vision. Even though the red flames no longer burned in the wolf's eyes, even though its upper jaw did not drip with poison, it still had the same musty smell she remembered as keenly as ever.
"This wolf's spirit spoke to you?" Adel said.
"No, but he was there in my vision," Netya stammered out.
"The spirits do not always speak to us in words. Did any of the other animals here seek you out?"
Netya shook her head. "I remember them being there. It was as if they were watching me, but only this wolf came to me alone." She swallowed the unpleasantness in her throat and forced herself to look at the white wolf's pelt. Even though it was a harmless thing back in the world of the living, she knew she would never be able to look at it in the same way again, having seen the face of the spirit that clung to it.
Adel stroked the pelt's ears, brushing it down as she unfolded it in her lap. It was not as old as most of the animal hides in her chamber, and it still seemed soft and warm. At some point, someone had fashioned it into a carefully stitched article of clothing, with small loops of hide to allow the forelegs to sit over the wearer's arms, and a tie to secure it about their shoulders. The rest of the pelt formed a large cloak, and the jaws had been designed to sit over the wearer's scalp in the customary animal headdress of a seer.
"You are still frightened of this wolf," Adel observed.
"He is what makes me afraid to go back."
"Then allow him to be your guide. The next time you go into the spirit world, take him with you." Adel held out the pelt to Netya. She hesitated to accept it, but the den mother's expression made it clear that refusal would not be wise. Trying not to remember the monster she had met in her vision, Netya took the white wolf and laid him across her lap.
"If he is what you fear, make him your strength," Adel said. "Wear his pelt with pride, and his spirit will give you power. A seer has no room to be timid."
Netya ran her fingers through the wolf's fur, closing her eyes and trying to imagine it as her protector rather than predator. His pelt was soft and majestic, nothing like the spirit creature she had seen. But the monster had been powerful. Perhaps there were worse spirits still waiting for her in future visions. She would need a strong guardian at her side if she were to brave the same journey again.
"I saw myself," she said, "and a forest, and a lake of blood. What did it mean?"
"Likely nothing," Adel replied. "As I told you, our visions are not premonitions. It will be a long time before you fully understand how the things you see in the spirit world can be used to help others. Until then, you must watch, listen, and learn to explore that place. We will not use the nightwood berries again. Even in small amounts, they can sometimes detach a person's mind from their body permanently if taken too often."
Netya was relieved to hear it. She preferred the version of the spirit world she saw in her dreams over the disturbingly vivid place the nightwood berries had taken her to.
After allowing her a while longer to recover, Adel permitted Netya to leave without any further duties that day. When she stepped out of the cave, she realised that night had already fallen. Adel must have sat with her for hours while she was lost in the spirit world.
She made her way groggily back to her tent, finding it empty, and sat staring at her wolf pelt cloak for a time before trying to sleep. With it so close by, she was afraid the monster might return again to haunt her dreams. At last, swallowing her fear, she slipped her arms beneath the forepaws of the garment and fastened it about her shoulders, letting the wolf's head sit atop hers. Despite her unease, the pelt was warm and comfortable, and she felt a hint of pride in wearing the headdress of a seer. When she eventually drifted off to sleep, no wolves appeared to torment her.
—31—
A Pack Divided
The weeks away from home had been a curious time for Khelt. He knew that Caspian would keep things in order back at the camp, and the hunters largely took care of themselves at this time of year, but still he worried over what might transpire in his absence. As he loped toward the tiny black dot of the outcrop on the horizon, his wolf's back laden with supplies from the North People, he could not help but feel relief at returning home.
Every day he'd been away he had thought of Netya, and the path she was embarking upon. He could not have picked a simple, obedient female, could he? Instead he had ended up with a girl who seemed to want more than he was able to give. She would have begun her apprenticeship as a seer by now, no doubt. The witch would have leapt at the opportunity to snatch her away from him the moment he left. He only hoped Netya had ended up with a wise mentor. Someone loyal to the alpha, who would be able to shield her from Adel's influence.
The thought of his consort being driven away from him had been first and foremost among his thoughts over the past few weeks, and, after a time, he had realised that he
was at least in part to blame for his worries. Caspian had been hinting at it for months, he realised, but it had taken this long for Khelt to get it through his thick head. He regretted the way he had behaved when Netya asked him of his conflict with the den mother. She was not a girl who would fall obediently quiet when told. Well, perhaps she was, but her heart would never follow suit, as she had proven in her continued efforts to hunt, craft, and join the seerhood. Netya's spirit knew what it wanted, even if her mind did not. She had pressed him to take her as his mate, and he realised now that those desires would never fade just because he willed it.
It bothered him to have so many conflicting thoughts fighting for his attention and no clear plan to resolve them. He missed Caspian's counsel. Rather than finding the stay with the North People relaxing this year, he had instead been preoccupied the entire time, agitated and itching to return home. The primal side of him, the wolf that prowled beneath his skin, had become frustrated without a female to bed for so long. After the years of abstinence from such intimate company he had sunk his teeth into his new concubine and slaked his desires like a starving man at a banquet, and having to go without her for week after week had been a painful reminder of a time he had no intention of returning to.
Out of propriety, he and his pack mates had not allowed their wolves loose while they were guests in the village of the North People, and reining in his animal side had only made matters worse. Several times he had been driven to slip away in the night to go hunting by himself, sleeping away the days while his companions grew to know the North People and understand their language.
The furs, leather, herbs, and bone tools they had brought to trade had been exchanged mostly for clay pots and strong timber, and every able-bodied wolf now carried as much as they could bear slung across their backs in heavy bags. Their cumbersome bounty made the return journey a long and arduous one, but the sight of the outcrop in the distance spurred them along the final stretch with the promise of comfort and companionship that evening.
What Khelt would do with Netya in the long term, he did not know. For the time being he only wanted to take her to his bed again and fall asleep with her body close to his, warm in the comfort of his own den.
When they arrived home late in the afternoon he hunched down and allowed the clamour of welcomers to lift the supplies from his back, before stretching with a satisfied growl and returning to his two-legged shape. Everyone was eager to hear tales of the North People and rifle through the handful of exotic gifts they had brought back, but Khelt made sure all of their practical trade supplies were put in their proper place, before anyone got it in mind to snatch up a new pot or tent pole while no one was looking.
He searched through his own load for a bag of rare seeds that only the North People's farming talents could cultivate, and sought out one of the seers to deliver it to.
"Take these to the cave, I'm sure your mistress will be thankful to have them," he said as he passed the bag to one of the women wearing an unfamiliar white wolf headdress. He looked back impatiently when she took his arm, and paused in surprise when he saw her face. Dressed as she was, he had not even recognised the young seer.
"Netya." He breathed a sigh of bemusement. "You wear the garb of a seer already."
The girl smiled and bowed her head respectfully, presenting the fierce-looking features of her headdress to him. Even without the striking change of appearance that lent both size and majesty to her stature, she seemed different somehow.
"The den mother presented him as a gift to me," she said. "He is my guardian in the spirit world."
"A gift from her, was he?" Khelt said with a grimace. "I hope she has not been interfering in your training too much."
Netya looked down, shrinking into the protection of her wolfskin garb a little. "I wanted to tell you myself, before you heard the news from someone with a less careful tongue. Adel has taken me as her own apprentice. She is the one conducting my training."
Khelt stared at her, his brow twisting in frustration as her words sunk in. He knew he should never have left. Allowing Adel a hand in Netya's fate had been a dangerous decision to make, but he had never expected her to go this far just to spite him. What was she thinking, involving Netya in this? How long had it been going on? What lies had she filled the poor girl's head with already?
"Where is she?" Khelt growled, pushing past the group as Netya trailed after him.
"She has been a good mentor to me! Please, do not be upset. I was against it at first too, but I have learned a great many things under her guidance."
"And some strange ideas about visions," one of the elder seers chimed in from her seat by the fire, scowling past her toothless gums. "The den mother is talented in her own ways, but until now she has always kept them to herself, where they belong." The old woman looked to the alpha. "And she runs Netya ragged. The girl barely has a moment to herself. I never pushed any of my apprentices so hard."
"You see?" Khelt fumed, glaring at Netya. "The witch is filling your head with her own poison and making you suffer for it." He took a step closer to her, lifting back her headdress and studying her face. There were dark circles beneath her eyes. Had she grown even more skinny in his absence? His hand tightened on her shoulder in anger. Adel would not be allowed to get away with this.
"I have not suffered any more than I am willing to for the sake of my training," she said. "Please, I do not want to cause any more upset for the pack."
"These are her words coming out of your mouth, not your own," Khelt said. "This is Adel's way, Netya. You are even willing to blame yourself for what she has wrought. I will not forgive her for toying with you like this." He rounded on the elder. "Go and fetch your den mother. Bring her up from her pit and let her know the alpha demands her presence."
The old woman gave him a sour look, clearly unhappy that her gossip had resulted in more work for her, but she bowed her head obediently and hobbled up the path toward the seers' cave.
"If you must argue this with her, do it away from the others," Netya said quietly. "It will only upset them."
"I will not argue anything. I will remind her of her place, and put an end to this game of hers," he replied with a hint of annoyance, perplexed for a moment at being told what to do by the girl. He was ashamed at himself for directing his anger toward her. It was not Netya's fault, it was his for leaving the pack unattended. Where had Caspian been in all of this? Why had he not put a stop to it?
Khelt closed his eyes and forced himself to calm down. Caspian would have some reason, as he always did. Some wise, level-headed reason that made Khelt feel a fool when he paused to think about it. In his moment of clarity, he realised that Netya's suggestion had been a sensible one also. It was exactly the sort of thing Caspian would have suggested had he been there.
With a grunt of frustration, he walked away from the group without another word, overtaking the elder on his way to the seers' cave and waiting outside with his arms folded, glaring into the antechamber. The old woman grumbled something on her way past, but a low growl from him sent her scurrying off into the cave at twice her previous pace.
Adel made him wait, like she always did. It was a small, petty thing on top of everything else the den mother had done, but it never failed to stir his temper. It was her way of saying that she was beholden to no alpha. An act of defiance that conveyed so much through so little.
He was vaguely aware of Netya following behind him, but she remained quiet as she sat down on a rock off to the side. Good. Let her hear Adel when she was caught in her lies. As much as he wanted to shield Netya from such matters of leadership, his desire to win back her loyalty was greater.
Adel swept through the darkened drapes with her usual air of detachment, the den mother's fur gown flowing about her as she came out to meet him with as little urgency as she could muster. She was the only woman in the pack who matched his height, and even though they stood eye to eye, Khelt could not help but feel like she was looking down on him. She held h
er chin high, head tilted slightly back, eyes half-narrowed, as if he was undeserving of her full attention.
Not to be outdone, he bared his teeth, tensing his shoulders as he strode forward to meet her.
"What?" she said bluntly.
"Don't push me, Witch. I may have allowed Netya to join the seers, but I never agreed to you training her. Did you think I would roll over and let you do with her as you wished?"
Adel's lips tightened, and she lowered her head to direct every bit of ice in her blue eyes at the alpha. "It is no concern of mine whether you approve of my choice or not. You may control the pack, but the leadership of the seers is my business. The alpha has no say in it."
"The seers are part of my pack, too," he growled. "As are you, Den Mother. I forbid you to continue training Netya. She is to be given a different mentor, someone of my choosing."
"No."
The air seemed to grow colder as a light breeze stirred Adel's hair. Her response echoed in the silence that followed, a plain challenge to his leadership.
"I am your alpha," he ground out through clenched teeth.
Adel gave a brief shake of her head. "To the others, perhaps. Never to me. Netya has it in her to become more than just your plaything, and I shall ensure she follows that path, with or without your approval."
"You are using her to spite me. You care nothing for her wellbeing!"
"So says the man who stole her away from her own home. If there is any part of you that respects her, you will allow Netya to make her own choices." Adel looked to where the girl sat, but she averted her eyes with an anxious flush.
"It is not my place to decide such things," Netya said.
"You see?" Khelt said. "She at least has respect for her alpha. You will not twist her into playing your wicked game."
Adel's lip curled, and she gave him a look of such venomous disgust that even Khelt felt a tremor run through his body.
"You think a young woman's life is a game? You are the one she needs to be protected from, not me."