“If anyone said anything like that about you they wouldn’t be a part of his life any longer.” Jennifer sat down opposite Monica. “You’ve always seemed so confident in who you are. I never thought you might be afraid.”
“Honestly, I am confident with who I am, but that doesn’t make those words any less hurtful. I look at myself in the mirror and I know I’m beautiful. I also know when other people look at me they see someone they believe is below them, purely due to the colour of my skin, and I hate it.”
Jennifer reached out to take Monica’s hand. “I have no idea what that must be like for you. I’ve dealt with people looking down on me due to my gender, so I do know, at least in some limited way, how hurtful that can be, and I’m sorry if I’ve made things harder for you.”
“You haven’t.” Monica smiled. “All you did was ask a question.”
***
“Have you got my coffee?”
Monica shook her head as she finished the email she was sending. “Sorry, I’ve been busy. I can get it for you now, before I leave, if you still want it.”
“That’s not like you.”
“I know.” She looked at Jonny. “There’s just been a lot going on in my personal life and it’s been a problem.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I need to talk about.” She never had. As she stood she turned off her computer, because she didn’t trust him not to go looking to see what the problem was. “Did you want that coffee?”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter. Why don’t you want to talk to me?”
“Mr. Houston, you should know by now I don’t mix business and personal.” Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it, not wanting to look at it. “I’m going to be gone all weekend. I have my phone if you need me and you can email me at any time.”
“Do you need a couple of days off?”
“Thank you, but no. What I need to do is keep working. It keeps my mind off things I don’t want to think about.” She blinked, doing her best not to let her emotions get the better of her. “If you don’t want that coffee I need to head off. I’ve got a long drive ahead of me.”
“No, you haven’t.” He took his phone out of his pocket. “I’m coming with you. Tell me where you need to be and I’ll book a hotel for a couple of nights, because there’s no chance of me letting you drive anywhere if I think you might end up crying. Driving and crying at the same time are dangerous.”
“I’m not going to cry. I appreciate you offering to come with me, but I am fully capable of looking after myself. I’ve done it for a long time now.” She shook her head. “I know what I’m doing. I don’t need you taking over when there’s no need for it to happen.”
“Where are you going, Monica?”
She sighed. “Jonny…”
“This isn’t up for discussion. All I’m going to do is drive you to wherever it is you need to be and then drive you back, because I’ve never seen you close to tears before. Obviously something big has happened and this is the only way I can help.”
“Okay.” She wasn’t entirely certain why she was giving in, but the thought of having company, of not having to hold everything back, of not having to be strong up until the point she got home, was far too tempting. “I’m booked in at the Westcote. It’s not the best hotel in the state, but it’s comfortable and I know the people who own it.”
“Well that was easier than I expected it to be.” He looked at her. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be with you.”
***
Being in a car with someone always felt intimate, and with Jonny it felt too intimate. Monica focused on the fact she’d be home soon, because being home meant she’d actually be able to help with something, to take her mind off the fact she was with him. It was the only logical thing she could do. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what’s happened?”
Nodding, she turned to look out of the window, not wanting to see the way he was glancing at her. That didn’t stop her from being able to feel it, and his concern. “I’m fine.”
“You aren’t fine. I know you well enough to be certain of that.” He sighed. “I don’t mind that you don’t want to talk to me, but do you have anyone to support you through whatever’s happening.”
“I don’t need anyone.”
“Everyone needs someone, Monica. You might feel like you’re entirely capable of being the rock for everyone, but you aren’t, because no one is, not really. If you need to talk, or want to, then I’m going to be there to help you deal with this as best I can. I care about you.”
“Jonny…”
“Not wanting it isn’t going to change how I feel.”
She looked at him. “No, it’s not, and that’s why I made the decision I did.” She brushed a hand through her hair. “My family’s going through a tough time.” That was an understatement, but getting into the details wasn’t something she felt capable of doing. Not without falling apart and she couldn’t fall apart. Not right at that moment. “It’s something we can get through, eventually, but it’s not going to be easy.” She shook her head. “When I left them, to move to New York, I never thought about what might happen if I was away and there was an emergency, which is something I realise now I should have thought of.” An unwanted tear trickled down her cheek and she scrubbed it away. “I just never believed something like this could happen.”
“We often don’t, but that doesn’t stop the emergency from happening. I was away, at a competition, when Dad called me to say Mom was really ill. I’d never thought something like that was possible. It was Mom. I don’t think she’d ever been ill and the first thing I did was jump on a flight, leaving the competition without looking back. Being there for her was important to me, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to do anything to help, and I helped them both through it, because Dad needed someone too. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen Dad scared. It was when I knew how in love with Mom he was.” Jonny smiled. “I knew from that moment forwards that was what I wanted. If I’m going to marry someone I want to be in love with them, the same way Dad is in love with Mom.”
***
Monica walked into the room. “Hi.” She looked between her parents and her youngest brother. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when it happened.”
“You’re here not, and that’s what matters.” Her dad stepped across the room to wrap his arms around her. “Gregory… the doctor doesn’t know if he’s going to wake up.”
Nodding, she pushed away the fear she felt. Losing Gregory… it would change her life in ways she couldn’t never have imagined it changing. “What, exactly, happened?”
“We don’t know. All we know is that he went out with a couple of friends and didn’t come home. When the police knocked on the door we knew it was coming, because he’d never not come home before, and, from the injuries, they said it could have been a racially motivated attack. Both his friends said he was in fine spirits when he left to head home. There was no reason for anything to have happened to him and he’s never been an angry drunk.”
“Okay.” She shook her head. “I guess the only thing we can do is focus on Gregory, and dealing with whatever comes next.” She glanced over at Joseph and their eyes met. “How are you doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“At least we’re in the same position.” She looked at Gregory. “If he does wake up he’s not going to be the same person he was before this happened. These things affect people and we need to be ready for that. It could be a physical problem, or a mental one, so I’m going to come home to help.”
“Don’t put your life on hold for us.” Her mom shook her head. “You’ve done a lot of work to get to where you are, Monica, and I don’t want you to walk away from that.”
“This is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. I don’t enjoy my work any more and I need to find something else, something different. I never expected this would be the something else, and I hate that it is, but I’m not going to go back to
my old life if Gregory needs someone to be there for him.” Monica sighed. “I put in my notice a week ago. It became obvious that Mr. Houston and I weren’t going to be able to work together, so I was thinking of coming back home for a while anyway. I need time to sort my head out and work out what my next steps are going to be.”
“In the end it’s up to you.” Her dad kissed the top of her head. “Do you want to talk about anything?”
“I’m fine.” They probably all knew she was lying. “I take it there isn’t much I can do here right now, but have you been eating?”
“Food is hard right now.” Joseph’s voice was full of pain. “Everything is hard right now.”
“Yeah, it is, but if we’re going to be able to help Gregory we all need to be strong enough to deal with what might happen next. Let’s go out for a meal somewhere.”
***
It was midnight when Monica walked into her hotel room and could finally let herself cry. All she could see in her mind’s eye was Gregory, laying in that hospital bed, his body covered with purple bruises. Tears streamed down her cheeks. He was the brother who’d been most insistent she learnt how to ride a horse. The two of them had spent hours riding together, and she’d done it because she knew he enjoyed it - especially as it gave him a chance to spend time with her. They’d always been close. They’d stayed close when she left for New York and she knew he worried about her all the time. She was the one in the big city. She was the one who’d have to deal with people who hated her for the colour of her skin. It never once crossed her mind it was possible either of her brothers might find themselves the victims of racially motivated attacks. Breathing deeply she tried to calm herself down.
When the inevitable knock happened Monica felt capable of answering the door. Jonny stood on the other side, his eyes full of worry. “How did things go?”
“As well as could be expected.” She stepped back to let him into the room. “There’s no chance of me continuing to work with you, because I need to come home. Certain things have happened that have made me realise I don’t want to be too far away from my family. Being three hours away… it’s too far right now.”
“There was a report in one of the local newspapers about a young man who was attacked. He shared your surname.”
“I should have known you were going to see that.” She brushed a hand through her hair. “My brother was attacked by someone. We have no idea who, and no idea why, but he’s in the hospital. The doctor in charge doesn’t know if Gregory’s going to wake up or not, and if he does he’s going to be a changed man. No one comes through something like this entirely unscathed.” Another tear trickled down her cheek. “I need to be here, to look after him if he does survive, because I’m not going to leave him to go through that alone.”
“Of course you aren’t.” Jonny reached out to take her hand. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with something like this.”
“When I was looking at him I couldn’t help thinking about how fragile life is. All it takes is one little thing and everything changes.” She studied him. “If you still want to go on that date… this is probably the most stupid thing I’m ever going to do, but I’m not going to walk away from something that might make my life better, even if it’s only for a short time.”
“I don’t have to work from my home state. It would be easy enough for us to move here, if that’s what you needed.”
For a few seconds all Monica could do was stare at him in disbelief. “It’s a date, Jonny. We aren’t getting married.”
***
Being at home without Gregory there made it easy for Monica to understand why her entire family had avoided the house for as long as they had. It was different. It was quiet. Sighing, she made her way into Gregory’s office, remembering the day he’d moved into the extension. Neither of her brothers had ever wanted to move away and she could understand why. Being at home had always been their thing. From the time they were young they knew things were difficult for their parents and having four people there to pay the bills made things simpler. Her income was what had paid for the two small extensions they’d built, and she didn’t regret giving them that money for a moment. It meant they all had their own space and they all had space where they could come together. That was what they wanted. She’d always been different, but they’d never made her feel like she shouldn’t be who she was. All of her family had accepted her as the person she was.
Her mind turned to Jonny. Monica wasn’t certain she’d made the right decision, but she didn’t know what the right decision was any more. Seeing Gregory… life was too short to let her doubts get in the way of what could be a wonderful relationship. At the same time she couldn’t help worrying how that choice was going to affect the rest of her life. She liked Jonny. He was one of the few people she had been attracted to and she’d accepted that. It wasn’t as though she had any choice. He was who he was and she was who she was. Never, for one second, had she thought things might work out between them, because she’d seen too many relationships fall apart over the years. Her parents had been together since they were in high school. She’d never met someone she thought she couldn’t live without.
“What are you thinking about?” Joseph stepped into the room as he spoke. “Mom and Dad said you’d be here.”
“I needed some time. Leaving everything behind for Greg… it’s the only thing I know for certain is the right thing to do.”
“You’re talking about Jonny Houston.”
“Even though he’s not going to be my employer I don’t think going on a date with him is going to work out.”
“Tell me what the problem really is, Monica.”
“He’s white and I’m black.”
“Obviously he doesn’t have a problem with that.”
“Other people will.”
“Do those other people matter?”
“What if he loses business because of me?”
“Then they weren’t people he would have wanted to be doing business with in the first place, little sister.” Joseph smiled at her. “You’re letting other people you don’t know get in the way of what could be a beautiful relationship and that’s something you need to stop.”
***
“If you need to go back I’m fine to drive myself tomorrow.”
Jonny shook his head. “I can deal with this from here. There are people back home I know I can trust to help with the issues we’re having, so don’t worry.”
“Can I do anything to help?”
“No, you can’t, because you’re meant to be focusing on you family.” He looked up at Monica. “Does it look like Gregory will wake up any time soon?”
She sighed. “All the tests they’ve done have been inconclusive. His brain seems fine, but still there’s nothing.”
“Talk to him. It might help bring him back from wherever it is he might be hiding out. If he was attacked it makes sense that maybe his soul, if souls do exist, isn’t ready to come out until someone he trusts is there to tell him he’s safe.”
“You believe in souls?”
“I don’t know. I think anything is possible and we know very little about what we can’t see.” He smiled. “I may be a cowboy, but I aren’t stupid.”
Monica couldn’t help laughing. “Very few of the cowboys I’ve come across have been stupid. They know what makes them happy and they do that, rather than forcing themselves into a little box for other people.” She thought about her choices and her family again. “I guess that’s why Mom and Dad were always comfortable with letting me be who I was. They never wanted me to try to box myself to make them happy. They wanted me to do what made me happy.”
“Only it doesn’t make you happy any more.”
“It does and it doesn’t. I love organising people, but I work almost solely with men and I’ve had some issues.” She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. I’m going to come home and make sure my brother’s going to be able to get through this.”
“What happens if he’s fine?
”
“I’m still going to come home. I need to find who I am again, because I don’t think I can be a P.A. any longer, unless I happen to find a woman I can work for.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“There seem to be far less women who need P.A.s for some reason. I don’t know why. All I know is that every job I’ve had has been for someone male, and more of them have fallen apart than I’m comfortable with, which means I think I’m better off working out what my next step is going to be, because I can’t keep doing what I’m doing.”
“Sorry for being another one of those jobs.”
“You have nothing to apologise for. You were honest with me and I appreciate that. You could have kept your feelings from me until we got out of the probation period.”
“Has anyone done that before?”
“I’ve never thought to have a probation period before, but anything is possible.” Their eyes met. “I’ve had wonderful jobs too. Things haven’t always fallen apart.”
***
“Greg?” Monica took his hand. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I wanted to talk to you. I know something horrible happened to you. I think you might be wondering if it’s safe to wake up, and it is. We’re all here to look after you.” She smiled at her brother, even though there were tears in her eyes. Seeing him in that state was painful, but there was nothing she could do to change what had happened - all she could do was try to help him. “When you’re awake I’m going to be coming home. I want to be there for you. I want to spend more time with the family, because my life isn’t as fulfilling as it once was. We all change, though, don’t we? That’s probably what it is. I’m a different person now. There’s still a part of me that loves being a personal assistant, but the longer I do the job the more certain I become that it isn’t for me.
The Alpha Billionaire's Unexpected Baby: A Billionaire BWWM Pregnancy Romance Page 31