I had once remembered my mother saying “once a cheater, always a cheater.” At the same time this conflicted greatly with what I had been brought up with was “turn the other cheek” and that some people deserved second changes. My mind went back and forth as I began to consider myself a hypocrite.
Was I wrong for not listening to Tyrese’s explanation? That is if he even had one? Why was I concerning myself so much about the lies that he would tell? Was I being unreasonable?
At the same time I didn’t think so. I had the right to be angry at him and the stranger.
Still I wondered if she even knew about me? She did seem to be more in shock by my showing up unexpectedly rather than who is this random person who showed up suddenly?
My adrenaline began to run out and I began to feel tired. I moved over to the couch and flopped down on the couch. I sighed deeply and wondered what I was going to do with myself now?
My mind began to wonder just what to do with myself. I had thought about leaving this area and finding some place new to live in. Still, I battled myself with the idea. If I left this area would I be running from my trouble and feelings? If I did leave what was I going to do with my practice? If I closed then my employees would out of work and needing to find a new place to work at. If I sold the practice maybe it could be arranged so that they were able to work for the new employer.
To add another wrench into the scheme was I had a successful practice. Walking away from that and starting new all over again would be very difficult. What if people didn’t want to see me? What if I couldn’t be successful over there? People would wonder why I left there and would they trust me? Sure, I’d have records here, but how many would look it over?
I wondered if I was moving too quickly in this snap judgment.
I was broken, yet not so. The hurt was incredibly painful and it felt like a kick in the gut. Yet, was I broken? If I were would I have plotted anything at all or would I have just stayed put and waited for the end to come? What was I going to do with myself? I knew better than to do anything rash or sudden as that would only be hurting myself.
I had decided to wait until the next morning to decide what I was going to do. I was hurt and angry and at the moment was at too high of a risk of making a wrong or poor decision.
I would need to have a good cry and to get the emotions out. Running away from the problem and emotions wouldn’t solve anything as it would not go away. Dad always said “you can’t run from your problems.” As much as I disliked the phrase he was correct.
I had considered writing a quick e-mail on my tablet to my family to tell them what had happened. I knew Mom had been asking what had Tyrese had been up to and how he was doing. Mom would certainly be ready to kill Tyrese for what he had done.
The thought of perhaps it would be best if I left because of what Tyrese could say. I did feel a nasty stab to my dignity and pride in the thought of if Tyrese could trick me into thinking he was being faithful to me what else could he say to others about me? Normally I wasn’t as concerned by what people thought about me but he was so close to me it hurt more than it should have.
Sighing I wrote my e-mail and then re-wrote it again. I sent the message to my family and a few friends who knew about Tyrese. I had also mentioned that I was thinking about leaving this little plot of land.
To keep my mind of Tyrese I began to look through job sites. Who else needed a doctor? If I could find a nice and quiet place to live that was away from here maybe I could be happy there.
I had enough thought and empathy ahead of time to make sure my employees would be taken care of when I left here to start a new life. They had been loyal to me and it would be wrong to just send them out on the street and unemployed.
Over the course of the next few days I sold my practice and took the money to pay for my moving. I had put into the contract that my employees must be taken care of and be able to keep their jobs. Doing that made me feel better and not so much like I was just abandoning them.
I had found a small place in Montana to move to. I had never been to Montana before so it would take some getting used to. In a smaller area I imagined the people to be friendlier and perhaps in need of a doctor. At least I hoped they were.
It was hard work to push the remaining questions and even fear out of my head. It was so easy to question if I was doing the right thing or even the best thing for me?
Either way there was no turning back now! Today was moving day and off I went into the unknown!
Chapter 3
Finding work in Montana was easier than I thought it would be. As I was an absolute newcomer I suspected problems and maybe even having to start small before working my way back up to my formal position. I knew I should take my blessings as they came. I didn’t know how long these blessings would last so I needed to take full advantage of them.
Adjusting to life in Montana took a bit longer. Having lived in one area all my life I had uprooted myself and came to a new place to live. The new weather did take some getting used to as I was used to a milder climate. I had seen snow before, but never quite this much! When I pointed it out to people they would just chuckle and then go about their business.
At least for now I practiced alongside an older doctor who said he was near retirement. He had said he wanted to enjoy his retirement years and he had plans to keep busy. If he didn’t then he swore he would grow old and die. That attitude reminded me so much of my father it was not even funny. Were all men like that?
Was I about to discover something on the “Y” chromosome that I could write into a paper? The thought did amuse me as I could’ve written an award winning paper and never have to worry about money again. I could retire to some nice mansion anywhere in the country and have the latest “it” actor feed me grapes.
Another thing I had to get used to was how few people lived here. I had been used to a place where people were everywhere to living in an area with just a few thousand. It made me feel like I was once living like a termite. Close quarters, not seeing the same person twice in a day, and shuffling along getting work done. Things were much more open here.
On the flip side, I didn’t like it that everyone knew everyone and everything. In just a short period of time everyone knew who I was, where I came from, and even my profession. It was kind of a surprise that they didn’t know what my blood type was or what medical school I had gone to! While I liked it here it also made me feel a bit at a disadvantage. Perhaps if I hung out at the cafes and restaurants for a little while I could get to know more about people.
Before I had always learned about people through my patients and I saw many of them. Life and patients here were slower and I kind of liked that.
Working here did keep me on my toes. At first I was often given the new patients to get to know them. The other doctor would take the patients who had ongoing conditions as he knew their medical history and I did not need to learn it. I think if I did I’d be spending half my time looking up these conditions and their progressions online. As much as we knew medically it could still sometimes be necessary to look them up. At first I thought I was the only doctor who did that until I found out it was fairly common among other doctors.
If our minds could hold all the information that was online and remember it would it benefit us or drive us insane?
One new patient that showed one day was an older man who everyone called “Parker the Elder” or “Parker Senior.” There was bound to be a joke in there somewhere but I could not think of it at the moment.
I still hadn’t yet met “Parker the Younger” or “Parker Junior” and wondered who this person was. So far I had only heard snippets of conversation about him. He was a rancher as well as a cowboy and supposed to be rather well off. People claimed that he was rather good looking but that was really neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. People could be good looking but have horrible personalities or vice versa. It wasn’t my job to gauge a person based on their physical appearance. My job wa
s to help keep people healthy and help those who were sick.
Parker the Elder had come in today with what looked like a lung problem. He had complained that he was getting older and his lungs weren’t as kind to him as they used to be. It seemed to be an odd way of phrasing it to me but it was not my time to judge.
At first I thought he might have had something like asthma or another condition that could cause breathing problems. Parker the Elder then told me that nothing like that ran in his family so it could not have been that.
He was indeed sick with the latest bug that seemed to be going around. I had no reason yet to suspect asthma or another type of lung disease. He never smoked or had been around smoke. I felt like I was solving a puzzle when it came to some diagnoses.
Thankfully for all of us it wasn’t something more serious but it was enough to knock a person down for a few days. It was funny how sensitive our lungs were to illness and how just one little thing could wreak havoc on us. Still the machine of the human body fascinated me. What made us sick and what allowed us to stay healthy? The human body was quite the machine and sometimes a rather confusing one at that.
It was safe to say at least for then that I was married to my work and had no intention of cheating on it. My work also couldn’t cheat on me.
Over the next week some of my co-workers had invited me to learn how to ride a horse. I was nervous about it as I had never ridden a horse before and was afraid I would make a fool of myself, or worse, get myself hurt.
Here was this heavier and majestic animal looking down at me. If the horse was thinking I did not know what it was. It could have been anything from what was going to be done today to how they were going to rid themselves of me.
“You need to let them know whose boss,” Emily told me as the horse was busy trying to push me out of “their” territory. The horse was not afraid of using their hips to try to push me out. I knew I could push back but the horse was quite a bit stronger than I was.
“How do I do that?” I protested. “This one doesn’t want me around.”
“Oh, he’s just playing!” She said and then laughed. “He does that to everybody!”
It didn’t seem like playing to me! I remembered the stories that my father told about him being thrown from a horse and how much it hurt. He had managed to escape without breaking anything and I was not eager to join that particular club.
Another ranch hand just laughed and offered to try to get me up on the horse. It was nothing like the movies where the hero just throws a leg over! No, this horse did not want to sit still long enough for me to get on it.
Why couldn’t horses have rudders? I at least knew something about sail boats and rudders! Of course that left quite a bit up to the imagination as to where the rudder would be? Perhaps it would be the horse’s tail?
Despite the laughter coming from the other ranch hands around I was able to get on the horse and tried to salvage what remained of my dignity. I sat up straight in the saddle and did my best to stay put and not fall off the horse which could be easily done if he didn’t want to cooperate or leaned to one side.
I didn’t recall too much of the lesson I had received that day other than I was able to succeed and not end up thrown off my steed. That and something about horses being afraid of snakes. I was not afraid of snakes but didn’t particularly care for them. My mind most likely because I was too tired by the end of the day or too worried about being harmed by this beast. Did country folk have trouble with this as well or was it just me?
At the end of the day my pelvis hurt and I was more than ready to go home. I think I even walked bow legged for a while.
Emily had encouraged me telling me that I had done far better than others on their first ride.
I was afraid to ask how the alleged others did.
Chapter 4
I was determined not to let one single incident with the horse scare me off from learning how to ride one. I had successfully walked away from my previous lessons so I did not imagine this one to be any different. I knew it was a wild animal, but in a way, so were people. I suppose we at least had that in common. There had to be a joke somewhere in that statement but I couldn’t quite think of it at the moment.
I knew better than to try to ride a horse alone. If I had been injured then no one would be there to help me. It reminded me of how I would tell elderly patients or those who were disabled to sign up for a program that would help them if they fell or were otherwise injured. I liked it that some had necklaces or bracelets that the patient could wear. The range of these buttons was now increasing so the person could go farther and farther away the machine and still be able to get help.
My companion soon did join me and helped me get onto the horse. At least I was getting better and only needed a bit of a boost instead of having someone practically grab onto my hips and shove me up onto the horse. It could’ve been worse and I could’ve had my butt grabbed by a complete stranger... I should count my blessings there.
My companion and perhaps even instructor was a teenage girl who went by Josie. As much as I hated to admit it she closely resembled the stereotype of a teenage girl on a ranch. She was tanned, had a few freckles, and her auburn hair was tied back in two braids and fastened with narrow pieces of ribbon. She wore boots, jeans, and a button down shirt.
I felt somewhat awkward wearing basic all-purpose shoes, jeans, and a blouse. Perhaps I should’ve changed into something more practical? This, of course, raised the question of what would be more practical?
If Josie noticed my attire she gave no sign and was happy to start the lesson. She had a love of horses and was more than eager to teach anyone how to ride.
The beginning of my lesson started off fairly normally with learning how to sit in the saddle as well as the important commands of “stop” and “go” though they did not call it that. I did jokingly think it would be easier to say “go” and “stop” at the horse but if they did recognize and even understand words I didn’t know if they’d learn the other commands.
The lesson began simply enough with learning how to stop, go, making sure the horse knew you wanted to turn. Sometimes I wanted to go in one direction and the horse wanted to go in the other. Some things were easier as they went in the direction that you wanted because you turned a wheel or a rudder.
I had thought we were about to turn back and head on home when Josie screamed. Her scream was so high pitched it took me a few seconds to realize what she was shrieking about.
There was a snake!
I remembered my warning that horses were scared of snakes and it was not a lie.
As if on cue my horse began to buck and raise its front legs to try to stomp on and smash this snake that I could not find. Was it in front of me? Behind me? Anywhere near me? Without being able to see it I didn’t know what direction to try to make the horse go in.
“Easy, easy,” I said in hopes of getting the horse to settle. If I could regain control I could get out of here.
I pulled my feet out of the stirrups to keep from being dragged behind the horse in case it was going to throw me. Being dragged by a horse, even for a short distance, could kill me.
Despite my fear of sliding out of the saddle, or worse, being trampled on I was able to stay on the horse’s back. As crazy as it felt I thought staying on my horse was probably the safest place for me to be in.
I didn’t know if that snake was poisonous or just a general harmless snake.
At least for the moment I felt safe. That is until I suddenly found myself doing a bad Superman impression as the horse bucked and sent me into the air.
The world seemed to slow down as I was tossed up into the air and then began my ungraceful descent to earth. I could see sights and still hear noises but somehow they seemed slower and I was all too aware of what was going on.
What I landed against when my body struck earth I had no idea. Despite my best efforts to stay awake I had lost consciousness.
For how long I had been out I di
dn’t know but thankfully it hadn’t been long. If it had been over several minutes I would be staying “goodbye” to a lot of my higher motor functions. It’s really not how they show in the movies where the character is knocked out overnight and then wakes up without any problems much later.
When I came to Josie and a strange man were crouched over me. The stranger looked rugged and yet handsome. While he may not have been my initial type I did feel an attraction to him...and then promptly mentally kicked myself over thinking such thoughts when I could have been badly hurt.
“Easy now,” the stranger said. “That was quite a fall you took.”
Pain and other senses began to radiate through me. Did I break something? Oh, that would be juuuuuuuuuust great.
“What happened?” I croaked.
“I heard screaming and came running. I found you on the ground and Josie with the horses,” the stranger explained.
“There was a big snake Parker,” Josie explained.
Parker? Was this “Parker the Younger” whose father I had been treating?
“The car should be here soon,” Josie told him.
“Car?” I asked.
“We need to get you to the hospital,” he told me.
“Why?” I protested. If I were injured why not send an ambulance? Was it because of where we were located?
“Because it looks like you took a nasty fall. You should consider yourself lucky; I’ve seen people be killed by falls like that.”
Bedside manner clearly was not his stronger point at times like this.
“How long was I out?” I asked.
“Not very. Not even a minute.”
Between snippets of conversation I was able to pick up that Parker was a local cowboy and supposedly a great rancher. It did strike me as odd that they talked to one another and not to me. Keeping a person awake was an important thing when dealing with injuries. I wasn’t feeling drowsy, yet, but I knew it could come.
I could hear the engine of this car and soon was carried into the car. I was taken to the hospital and treated for a broken heel and a mild concussion. Everyone commented on how lucky I had been as I could’ve easily have had broken ribs or even have part of my spine broken.
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