“Nice to meet you, Dani. Hey, Mom,” he said as Donna came to join him at the door to my - Keri's room.
“You being nice, Colin?”
“Yep. I'm gonna go do my homework.” He left us there and I searched Donna's face for something to tell me I wasn't alone in my confusion over Colin's behavior. All I saw was a blank expression.
That day set a pattern. Donna and Lance were great, and so was Colin anytime they were around, but alone...When he managed to get me alone, he bombarded me with orders to get away, to leave. I didn't understand why he hated me so much. I tried my best to stay out of his way, but there was no way to not ride the same school bus, to not sit in the same classroom every day.
Things turned into a blur the last night I was with them. It was dark in the room, and I laid shivering in bed, fear raced through me. Colin stood in the corner of my room, and I stared at him filled with shame I couldn't explain. Donna and Lance argued in the hall. Donna sounded hysterical, Lance pleading.
“I told you to leave,” Colin sobbed. Tears streaked down his face. “I told you. Now I have to make you.”
Before I could react, he rushed me. One arm drew back and he pounded his fist into my face. Once. Twice. The pain started then, searing my skin with fire. I screamed until everything blurred. The pain dulled along with the room. A fuzzy Colin was dragged off of me. Lance was holding him by both arms. Even constrained, Colin fought to get loose, to get to me.
Carol picked me up from the hospital the next day.
Now ten years later, Colin stood in front of me.
“I remember you.” My words thundered down the hall, shaking my body. “You're just like him.”
“I'm nothing like my father.” His face flared a vivid red, and disgust filled his voice.
“No, you're not. Lance was kind to me. But you...you're just like my father.”
“Dani, you're wrong! I'm not-”
“Spare me,” I spat out. “I can't believe I didn't recognize you. I knew when you showed up in class you were a creep. Now I remember why. You tried to beat the crap out of me.” I shook my head, trying to clear the memory of pain that lingered.
“That's not what happened.”
“So I just imagined that you punched me hard enough to send me to the hospital?”
“Yes. No! I mean-”
“Shut up. You make me sick.”
“Dani,” he said, reaching for my arm. I flinched back.
“Stay the hell away from me.” I spun around and ran right into Reece.
The paleness of my face, the tears that threatened to rain down, were too obvious for him to miss. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pressing me into his chest, and glared at Colin over the top of my head.
“Problem?” His voice was deeper, a harsh edge to it.
Colin didn't respond, and after a minute he turned and walked away.
“He's gone,” Reece said, loosening his hold on me.
I didn't want him to let go. I wanted to hide in his arms. He was the only one I could trust beyond any doubt. Even Paul, as nice as he was and as much as I loved him, didn't elicit the same level of trust as Reece.
I took a deep breath, loving the rich scent of his body spray. Forcing myself to let go of him, I tried for a smile. It came a bit shakily, but relief that Colin was gone did make me feel better.
“I'm fine.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Not yet.”
He tugged my backpack from me and we walked toward the exit. Opening the door, he stood back and motioned me ahead of him. I passed through and we walked home engulfed in an unusual quiet. When we reached the gate, I looked up at him. His forehead creased in concern, his brown eyes focused on me.
But he didn't question me, and that silence was what I needed most.
“Thank you,” I whispered, and he nodded in acknowledgement. I wondered if he knew my thanks had less to do with his coincidental appearance and more to do with the essence of who he was.
Two hours later, Reece's patience had run out.
“What did he say to you, Dani?”
“Nothing, he...I just remembered him. I was a foster kid in his home.”
“How long were you there?”
“Not very long maybe a couple months. His parents were great, but Colin played some kind of two-faced game with me. He was always nice when they were around, but alone...Well, it ended with him beating me up in the middle of the night and me going to the hospital.”
“What?! Do you want me to go kick his ass?”
“No, he's not worth the effort. I just want to forget he exists.”
Chapter Seven
“Oh my God! I'm so excited! I can't believe you were gonna go to school this afternoon.” Jenn looped her arm through mine, dragging me into a spa near the end of the mall. “It's tradition for seniors to skip class on homecoming.”
“I really wasn't planning on going all out for this thing.” I was really thinking about my dwindling bank account. The dress had taken a huge chunk of my savings, and this spa day would take the rest.
Not that Jenn would understand. She lived in an elite neighborhood of Cherry Creek, and her parents were lawyers at a prestigious Denver firm. Paul and Martha were well off, but not to the point that they were able to give me my own credit card. They did give me a small monthly allowance, but any extra money I got came from babysitting the neighbor's kids.
“Dani, are you even a girl? You're going with Reece! Reece!”
“Yeah, because he waited too long to ask you and everyone else.”
“Well, when he sees you in that dress, he'll be glad he's with you.”
I flushed, embarrassed by her gushing. “He doesn't think of me that way.”
“Uh, he will tonight if he has eyes.”
I controlled my expression, willing it to stay neutral. On the inside though, I was spinning in circles. Each turn lifted me higher in the fantasy of him loving me. I tried to rein it in. I knew I would just be setting myself up for disappointment.
“Come on.” Jenn tugged me up to the counter and we checked in for our appointment. A lady dressed in some kind of starchy nurse's outfit led us back into the waiting area. Sitting on a spongy leather couch, we sipped on water with lemons and listened to the relaxing sounds of a river and campfire playing on a looping video.
A group of girls from school joined us and the once peaceful atmosphere filled with giggles and questions about dresses and hairstyles. I knew most of them either from class or by my association with Reece. Their excitement was contagious and within minutes, I found myself laughing along with them.
I wouldn't call them friends, even with Jenn I would hesitate to use the term, yet I was getting to know them and realized that it was probably my own fault for not socializing. I always assumed they tolerated me because of Reece, but what if they actually liked having me around? And Jenn. Why was she being so nice? Maybe she was just caught up in the excitement of the dance, but that she truly liked me was a concept I was willing to consider. At least for the moment.
“Hey, Dani!” A girl I recognized from my calculus class called from across the waiting room. “Are you really going with Reece?”
I nodded and a chorus of groans filled the air. Apparently, even though they all had dates, they were still hoping he'd swoop in and take them home or more likely, take them some place more private.
“I waited three weeks for him to ask me,” another girl said. “I gave up last Friday.”
Jenn didn't say anything about him asking her and I figured it was her way of having my back, an act that in the two years I'd known her had never been something I'd associated with her.
I ducked my head, hoping to avoid any more questions about Reece. It was one thing to know he wasn't interested in me, but to know that nearly the entire female population of our school was lusting after him and had a better shot than me was too difficult.
Under my lashes, I peeked at Jenn. She sat leaning forward, engaged in an e
xtremely important conversation about which perfume to wear. Her profile was perfect, the delicate cheekbones, the upturned nose, arched brows. Not to mention she had breasts three times the size of my own and thick mahogany hair that fell in waves down her back.
It wasn't that I didn't think I was pretty enough. I knew I was in an entirely different way. Slender curves shaped my body, but if I skipped a couple meals, I could pass for a boy. My hair was the same wheat blonde as Jace's had been, and it fell straight halfway down my back. Reece just didn't seem to appreciate it.
“Ladies, we're ready. Can I have Dani, Laura, and Jenn? Follow me, please.”
The three of us stood up and she led us down the hall.
“Let's see, Jenn, you'll be in room twelve. Dani in room eight and Laura in room number nine. Enjoy your massages ladies. When you're finished I'll be back to show you to the salon.”
I entered the dimly lit room, and the sweet scent of mandarins assaulted me. A young woman stood to the side, smiling when she saw me.
“Hello, my name is Brianna. Are there any areas you would like me to focus on today?”
“Just my back.”
She went over a few more things then left me to undress and lay down on the table. I'd been nervous about having a massage, but within ten minutes the methodical, hypnotic motions had my eyes drooping. As I drifted off to sleep, my mind carried me back to the only other time I'd gone to a dance.
It was Valentine's Day and I was fifteen again. I nervously twisted my hair up then let it cascade down my back. Pinning it up wasn't going to help much. I had even less curves than the pathetic amount I did before losing my baby fat two years earlier.
Martha and I spent the entire day shopping, looking for the perfect dress. In the end, I chose a soft blue chiffon with spaghetti straps that fell to mid-thigh.
The doorbell rang. Reece had arrived and my time was up. I snatched up a black hair tie and secured my hair in its standard ponytail. Glancing in the mirror, I quickly took it out again and decided to leave my hair down.
When I got to the living room, Reece was waiting on the couch watching a hockey game with Paul. The Avalanche were playing and I wondered how long it would take me to pry Reece from his perch on the edge of the sofa. As precarious as it looked, I doubted anything but fire would be able to drag him away.
“Reece, you ready?” I asked, hoping he'd get the point.
“Yeah, just one more minute. The Av's are on a power play. Shoot! Shoot! Oh my God! Shoot!” He rose to his feet with Paul, their yells at the television unheard by the player. Instead, the puck was passed and the Maple Leafs regained control.
Twenty minutes later, I managed to drag him from the television, primarily due to the fact that the Av's were down by four and it was only the end of the first period. Reece might have been an Av's fan, but he refused to watch them lose.
Reece's brother had dropped him at the house and we walked to the school. The walk was filled with his ranting about the horrible plays the Av's had made. I wasn't a huge hockey fan, but I listened attentively because it was Reece.
The outside of the campus had been decorated, red balloons lined the parking lot and two red spotlights were searching the night sky, crisscrossing on their path to lead three hundred teens to a night of dancing and love. The entrance had been surrounded by pink balloons in the shape of a heart and red streamers hung from the arch, creating a curtain of crepe.
When he first asked me to go with him, my heart about stopped, then I realized why he asked. Melissa had dumped him the previous week and I had planned on spending the night of the dance at home watching reruns of Scrubs online. He asked because he trusted me not to reject him, and I didn't. I couldn't.
The gym was crowded with girls in red and pink dresses, and guys in an array of clothing ranging from jeans and a t-shirt to suits with ties. Apparently, no dress code was in effect.
Reece and I stood awkwardly to the side of the dance floor. Finally, he turned to me. “Wanna dance?”
“Sure.” I swallowed the girly scream of pure joy that filled me.
The song was an upbeat retro mix, and it was then that I learned Reece wasn't entirely perfect. He had no rhythm. He shuffled his feet and occasionally clapped his hands on the offbeat. I couldn't help but laugh and love him even more.
“What?” He raised an eyebrow at my wide smile.
“Nothing.”
“Come on, what's so funny?”
“I guess I just thought since you're perfect at everything else that you'd be a great dancer.”
“Are you saying that I not a good dancer?”
“No, I'm saying you're a horrible dance.” I laughed at his exaggerated hurt expression
“I'm truly offended. I've been holding back so you wouldn't be embarrassed by your own lack of talent, but since you think I'm being serious I'll have to show you how great a dancer I am.”
The thumping beats of an old-school rap song filled the auditorium, and Reece fell to the ground twisting and spinning in an impossibly bad attempt at break dancing. The laughs came so hard I had to stop dancing, tears filling my eyes as I continued to watch him wither on the floor. The song ended and I sent silent thanks to the deejay.
Reece stood back up, and joined me in laughing.
“Have you learned your lesson?” he asked.
“What lesson is that?”
“Don't ever tell me how bad I am at something, because I just may prove that I'm even worse than you expected.”
The music had slowed and Reece pulled me into his arms loosely. I wanted to press closer, but was too scared of embarrassing myself, which was silly after his display of his break dancing skills. It was more than just that though. I didn't want to change things between us, not without knowing if he really loved me the way I loved him.
So rather than pressing against him, I let my hands rest lightly on his shoulders, savoring the muscles that bunched with each shift of his body. The slow song melded into another melody and we continued to rock back and forth.
I would have given anything to have just frozen there forever, but eventually the deejay mixed it up with another fast-paced song. Not wanting Reece to demonstrate his lack of ability again, I hauled him off the dance floor.
The rest of the dance passed too quickly, while the walk home took longer than usual, probably because I dragged my feet with each step. I didn't mind the freezing temperatures or the gentle falling of snowflakes, but the inevitable happened. The gate stopped our progress for only a moment, and then we were at the door. The porch light shone down on us, and I watched as our breaths mingled in the air between us. The sound of a honk drew our eyes to the street where Reece's brother, Gregg, was pulling up to the curb.
“Thanks for coming with me, Dani.”
“I had fun.”
“So did I.” He smiled and my heart raced. His next words shattered it in the kindest way possible. “When Melissa dumped me, I knew I could count on you. You're the only girl I know that wouldn't think this was a date.”
“Yeah,” I muttered from behind a tight smile.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. “You're the best, Dani.”
He ran down the path through the gate, while I watched still mesmerized by the softness of his lips. He opened the car door and yelled, “I'll love you forever for this, Dani!”
My heart bled bittersweet pain.
A hand shook my shoulder and I blinked rapidly trying to orient myself to where I was.
“Miss, we're done. I'm going to step outside. After you're changed, I'll meet you at the front.”
I grunted some kind of response. My massage was over and I'd managed to be completely zoned out through most of it.
The scent of apple blossoms floated around me and I sniffed my hand. The delicate smell of the oil had permeated my skin. I used a white towel on the counter to rub off the extra oil and then pulled on my jeans and t-shirt.
Jenn and a few of the other girls were already waiting in the
front. With the foyer filling with our group, one of the ladies came from behind the counter and led us to the salon section of the spa.
I was pushed into a stylist's chair and swung around to face the mirror. A woman with short bleached spikes towered over me and she tugged out the tie letting my hair fall. She picked it up and inspected it for damage.
“How long has it been since you've had a trim?” she asked abruptly.
“A few months.” I didn't want to admit it had probably been closer to a year.
She made a tsking sound then dropped the strands of hair. She glanced at me and smiled. “So, what are we doing for you today?”
I thought back to the Valentine's Day dance, and realized this would probably be the last dance I went too. Ever. I had no intention of going to Prom, or any of the other pointless dances just to watch Reece fawn over another girl. After that, it was real life and the make believe world of high school would be gone.
“Do whatever you want, except chopping it off.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, just do it.”
What she did was highlight my hair, trim the edges, and spend another twenty minutes curling it into ringlets. I wasn't sure what the purpose of the tight ringlets were since she then speared them with her fingers, drawing them down until they became soft waves of sunlight.
I stared in the mirror, surprised at how the slight change in color altered my face. My eyes stood out, my skin had more of a peachy hue. It was worth every penny I had left in my account.
My head might have recognized the futility of trying to attract Reece, but my heart couldn't stop. Not this time. My heart needed to know that I had done everything I could, short of telling him, to gain his love.
Maybe it was the appearance of Colin that was shoving me further into my obsession with Reece, but recalling the memory of Colin attacking me had only shown me just how wonderful Reece was.
Reece would never hurt me. I knew that. He was a protector, my protector. Just like Jace.
Chapter Eight
Songbird Page 4