I couldn't put a name to the voice, but the timber of it held enough memory to terrify me. Paranoia swept over me and my eyes darted to the window. The blinds were closed. There was no other way for someone to be watching me.
I needed to chill out. It was a phone call that played to my over active imagination. With a forced laugh at my own idiocy, I left the phone behind and went to get ready for bed.
An hour later, I was lying in my bed trying unsuccessfully to get to sleep. The genderless voice was stuck in my head and every time I closed my eyes fear overwhelmed me. Eventually my tired eyes refused to obey the panic that had continually forced them open and the voice returned.
“Dani?”
“Dani! Did you hear Donna?” Lance asked as he pushed his cleared plate away from him.
“Sorry, I was thinking about my homework.” No way would I admit that I was really remembering Colin pinching my arm the whole way home on the school bus that afternoon.
“It's time for bed. I'll be up to read you a story in a few minutes,” he said, a smile on his face. Colin kicked me under the table. I bit my lip to keep the cry of pain from escaping. Lance and Donna were nice to me. I wasn't going to let Colin take that from me. Donna stood up abruptly and gathered the dishes from the table.
I went straight to my room and got ready for bed. Bedtime stories were a new thing for me and made me wish Lance were my real daddy.
Lance knocked on my door just as I slipped under the covers. “Ready for your story?”
I nodded eagerly. He'd taken me to the library the previous weekend and I'd picked out a different book for each night. It was time for Sleeping Beauty.
He sat on the edge of the bed and I scooted over so he wouldn't fall off. He held the book in one hand and with the other he stroked my hair. His voice was soothing and I wondered if he'd read these same stories to Keri. The story came to an end and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“I have a surprise for you,” he said softly, glancing through the open doorway to the hall.
“What is it?”
“I can't tell you yet, but you have to be extra good, and you can't tell anyone.”
“Not even Donna?”
“Nope. It's a secret just for the two of us.”
“When do I get it?”
“Soon,” he said smiling as he ran his hand down my arm.
“Lance,” Donna said from the doorway. “It's time for her to go to bed.”
Colin stood beside her. His eyes pierced me with anger and something else I couldn't name. I wanted to tell him that I was getting a surprise, just to see the jealousy, but Lance had said I couldn't tell anyone.
“See you in the morning,” Lance said with a wink only I could see. He left the room and I smiled at Donna and Colin, hoping they couldn't see the excitement on my face. I wanted desperately to know what the surprise was.
“Goodnight.” Donna's eyes darkened with a hint of sadness and I wondered if it was the room reminding her of Keri. “Be...be a good girl, Dani.”
The image of Lance, Donna, and Colin standing there watching me, all with such different expressions faded and my eyes flew open. Despite the voice triggering the memory, I didn't understand it. Why call now? To what end?
Chapter Twenty-Three
I spent the weekend replaying every minute of Friday in my head. Reece, Colin, the phone call. Everything was just so confusing.
By Sunday, I'd put the phone call behind me. When I'd checked caller id the next morning, both calls came up as unknown name, unknown number. Chances were that I'd simply imagined the similarity in voices and allowed my recent recollection of what happened with the Delaneys to influence my perceptions.
Reece and Colin were a different matter. I couldn't just forget about it, but I didn't know what to do. Being with either of them right now was not an option. The idea of Reece using me, even unintentionally, hurt too much and I refused to do the same thing to Colin.
My newly dented locker only served as a reminder of what Reece was dealing with. Today, his brother was going to the doctor and Reece was the only family he had there to stand by him.
I stared at the dent. My first impulse was to call his cell and see how everything was going, but I stamped it down. Calling would only fuel the idea of him leaning on me. I needed him to want me for me. Instead, I scribbled a short note.
How's Gregg doing? Dani
I slipped it under the door of his locker. Ten seconds later my head was pressed against the cool metal, my eyes squeezed shut to the point of pain.
Couldn't I have thought of something better than that? Although, it could have been worse. I could have written what I really wanted to say. I love you. I'm sorry. Why can't you love me like I love you?
Why couldn't I simply transfer those feelings to Colin? It would be so much less painful.
Colin didn't make things any easier. He was his normal, funny, sweet self and each minute with him made me question my sanity.
“So, I was thinking we should try the whole making out thing again,” he said as we sat down to lunch.
“Colin...” I gave him a sideways look.
“Okay, okay. But if you change your mind let me know.” Beneath the joking, I heard the seriousness in his voice, and I cringed internally knowing I was hurting him.
Our talk turned generic and slightly stilted with Colin making all the efforts to pretend everything was the same. At first, I was hesitant to try, but the idea of not being friends with him pained me almost as much as it had with Reece.
When I got home, I focused on my homework, valiantly resisting the urge to call Reece. It was almost eight when I broke down and picked up the phone, glaring at it like it had been calling my name, tempting me with its sweet silence.
The phone rang in my hand and I jumped, the receiver tumbling from my grasp. I snatched it off the floor, and hit the talk button.
“Hello?”
Nothing but heavy breathing. I hung up. When the phone rang almost immediately, I checked the caller id - unknown. I didn't answer this time, letting it go to the answering machine.
I listened to the message play and then the long beep.
“Dani.” It was a whisper, no way to identify the person behind it, but it elicited the same fear as it had the other night.
The caller hung up and the machine beeped as it terminated the message. My finger hovered over the replay button. Did I really think hearing it again would make the voice clearer? My memories were already pointing to it being Lance. Maybe I needed to ask Colin. Was it possible his father was watching him? There was no other way to explain the calls. If it wasn't Lance then who else could it be?
“Who was that?” Paul asked, coming into the kitchen.
I jerked in surprise and my finger hit the delete button. “Oh, um, wrong number.”
“Is everything okay with you?” Concern deepened the wrinkles across his forehead.
“Yeah, I've just been a little stressed. You know senior year and all.”
“How's Reece doing? I haven't seen him around in quite a while. Have the two of you patched things up yet?”
“We just decided to give each other some space.” I leaned over the kitchen island, trying to appear natural, and unaffected by the question.
He reached over to pat my hand where it rested on the white marble. “Maybe that's for the best, right now. The two of you are so young. You need to expand your circle. This Colin seems like a nice boy.”
“He is,” I said with a smile, thinking of his teasing nature that was so at odds to the persona he presented to everyone else.
“That's good, dear.” Paul kissed my cheek and then went up to his room.
He climbed the stairs slowly and I realized just how much he'd aged since I'd first come here. He'd been the father I wished I'd had when I was little. Despite his age, he had always tried to make things fun for me, taking me sledding, coming to see me perform in school concerts. He took that place in my life. Maybe that's why Dad'
s phone call had bothered me so much. Ronnie Mays was the man who showed me how horrible fathers could be, while Paul had done the opposite.
The next morning I made it to my locker in time to see Reece leaving. He looked tired. I wanted to run over and ask how Gregg's appointment had gone, but I'd asked for space. I couldn't go running after him now.
My eyes stayed glued to his departing back until he turned the corner and vanished from my view. I emptied my backpack of books, lining them up into position before removing the ones I'd need for class. A small scrap of paper hiding between the side of my locker and my history textbook caught my eye. I pulled it out and unfolded it.
The same. Reece
Well, that didn't tell me much. The temptation to go after him rose again, but before I could act, Colin came up on my side.
“What's that?” he asked, eyeing the paper.
I slid it into my binder. “Nothing. What's up?”
“Man, I'm tired. I totally forgot about my English paper, so I had to stay up all night typing it.”
“How could you forget?”
“Well, Miss-I'm-so-Smart-and-Dedicated-to-School, not all of us live for homework. You could have at least reminded me.” He gave me a mock glare I ignored.
“Ha-ha. It's not my fault you didn't work on it earlier, besides it's not due for another two Tuesdays.”
“What!?”
“Tuesday before Thanksgiving break.” I grinned as he groaned at his mistake. “At least you're done, right?”
“I suppose, but I could have done with a couple hours sleep at least. If my mom wasn't at home today, I'd cut class for a nap.”
“What's she doing home?” I asked. Colin had mentioned that since his dad left, Donna had been working as an aide at an area school.
“She's been kind of off the past couple weeks. And lately it's been getting worse.”
“She's sick?”
“No, not sick just really down and tired, then she'll switch suddenly and be so full of energy it's scary.”
“Has she been to see a doctor?”
“Nah, she won't go. She says she'll be fine, that she's working on something and once it's over everything will be good again.”
“Sounds a little strange.”
“She was like this after Dad disappeared.”
The mention of Lance reminded me of the phone calls. Was it possible that Lance was back and contacting not only me, but also Donna?
“Could this be about your dad? Maybe he called her, or she saw him and she's trying to figure out how to get him to turn himself in.”
“I doubt it. I mean she'd say something to me. Warn me or something.”
Well, that shot that theory down. Lance wasn't returning, and really, he had no reason to want to harm me. It's not like I said anything, or could do anything about it now. Even if I went to the cops with what happened, it was years too late.
The next two weeks flew by with school consuming my time, while Reece and Colin occupied my thoughts. Each day, I watched Reece go through the motions of going to class. He was walking through life as if he were sleepwalking.
I wanted to ask about Gregg, about whether his parents had come home, about him, but I couldn't. We'd managed to hurt and disappoint each other enough. Talking to him would open me up to being hurt again. So, we sent notes back and forth. Short meaningless notes, stuffed into our lockers each day that could have been talking about the weather for all they said, and the end of the world for what they didn't.
It was hard to see him and not go to him. But just as I'd start moving towards him, Colin would show up and save me from myself.
With Colin, I'd been worried that we wouldn't be able to go back to being friends after the disaster at Garden of the Gods, but it was surprisingly easy to be around him.
The phone calls continued and never went past the whole 'Dani' stage. Whoever it was had started calling every night at random times. I finally stopped answering, letting it go to the answering machine, and then just automatically deleting it. I didn't want Martha and Paul to start freaking out about it.
The last day of school before Thanksgiving break, I was heading out of my first period class when I saw Reece heading into the restroom. I almost didn't recognize him. His gorgeous hair was gone. Not just cut, but shaven. There was nothing left to show his defiance for his parents' expectations.
On the way to English class, I meet up with Colin, proud of myself for not waiting around for Reece to come out of the restroom. If only I could rescue myself more often.
“Aren't you glad you had this done early?” I teased him as I glanced over his paper.
“I still can't believe I got the dates screwed up.”
Mrs. White gave us a pop quiz and silence reigned over the room. The lack of Colin's talking and the quiet of the class let my mind roam. I tried to focus on the test, but it was impossible. All I could see was Reece's freshly shaved head.
I knew why he did it. I wasn't surprised, but I guess part of me hated to think he'd had to. Gregg must be losing his hair. Shaving his head so Gregg wasn't as alone was the exact thing I would expect from Reece. He did it for me, why not his brother?
When I was fifteen, I caught mono. Martha flipped over the idea that I had the kissing disease, until the doctor reassured her I could simply have been too close to an infected person when they coughed or sneezed.
The doctor put me on bed rest and I ended up missing almost two months of school. Reece was the only thing that kept me sane. Every day, he came over after school with my class work, sitting by my side as I explained it to him. It wasn't that Reece was stupid. He simply had no interest in sitting still in class and listening to some old guy talk about algebra.
“When are you coming back?” he asked two weeks into my infirmity. “It's boring there without you.”
Yeah, boring because he'd have no one sitting in front of him to hide behind while he drew in his notebook.
“Not for a while, I guess. The doctor told Martha it could be weeks.” I flopped back on my bed feeling completely exhausted and disheartened. “God, I hate being sick. No one else at school got sick, so how come I did?”
“Ryan has it, too.”
I groaned in horror. Great, just what I needed to hear. I was sick and people were probably speculating on how Ryan and I both got the same disease. The kissing disease.
“I'm sorry, I know this sucks worse for you,” he said. Then his face lit up. “What if you guys weren't the only one at school who were sick?”
“How would that help?”
“Well, it would stop everyone from talking about you two.”
“How would someone else get infected? We're both at home.”
“Like this.” He leaned over me and pressed his lips to mine. Fireworks shot off behind my closed eyes, but it ended too soon. He pulled back, smiling. “There, now we just need to wait for me to get sick.”
He had looked so proud of himself, it was just too bad that not everyone who is exposed to mono actually contracted it or showed symptoms. Every afternoon for those two months, he came over, disappointed that he had yet to get sick. Once I was back at school concern set in that he would then be the one bedridden.
That look of pride he had on his face that day was the exact expression I was sure he'd worn when he'd shaved his head. Letting Gregg feel alone wouldn't be an option for Reece.
Was I doing the right thing? Reece had stood by me so many times. Now he needed me and I was letting him down.
“Ten more minutes,” Mrs. White announced drowning the image of Reece with that of the blank test in front of me.
Panicked, I frantically began writing answers, Reece forced to the back of my mind. At least temporarily.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I didn't just fail the test. I bombed it. Colin thought it was hilarious. I, on the other hand, was bordering on devastated. Not by the fact that my GPA was going to take another hit, but because I finally realized how horrible of a person I was being.<
br />
Reece needed me, and I was too worried about myself to be the kind of friend he'd always been to me. I'd tried to force him to want more from our relationship, and when that didn't work, I bailed. Then when he gave me what I wanted, I still wasn't happy, and left him alone to deal with what was probably the scariest thing he'd ever faced outside of Tessa's death.
“Is that invitation still open for Thanksgiving?” Colin asked as we ate lunch.
“Of course. What about your mom?”
“She said she didn't mind if I went. She wasn't planning on making a big meal anyways.”
“Is everything okay with her again?”
“I don't know. It's strange seeing her like this. I mean, she just hangs out on the couch all day. I don't think she has any sick days left.” He shoved his tray aside and shook his head. “Let's change the subject. I don't wanna talk about her anymore.”
“So, how about those Bronco's?”
He laughed at my lame attempt at topic changing, and the tension in his face departed. Luckily for both of us, Jenn's arrival halted any more feeble attempts by me.
“Hey, Dani,” she said, and then nodded a greeting to Colin. The friendship Jenn and I had begun to build before homecoming had floundered with the end of my friendship with Reece.
“Hey, Jenn. How's it going?”
“Oh, good. I've already started looking for my dress for the White Winter formal. Are you going?” Her eyes darted between Colin and me. The double meaning of her question wasn't lost on either of us.
“No.”
“Yes.”
Colin and I answered at the same time. I glared at his smiling face.
“Maybe,” I said with a scowl that dared him to say anything else.
“Oh.” She shifted her weight back and forth on her feet. “Anyways, I was wondering if you know what's going on with Reece.”
“Why?” God, was this going to be a repeat? Was she hoping he'd ask her to the dance? I really didn't want to get involved in that. I couldn't. The first time around, I'd really thought I was okay with it, but now I knew I'd never be okay with it.
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