“I don't know yet, but I have to try. And it has nothing to do with me being friends with you.” I winced at the way he flinched.
“Yeah, obviously not,” he said, starting to walk again. I leapt forward, catching up with him as he pushed through the exit. The cold air hit us instantly, biting through my coat. The bitter cold matched the bitterness in his tone.
“Colin, I-”
“Hey, don't worry about it. I knew you liked him before you'd even talk to me.” He shrugged and gave me a half-hearted smile. Throwing his arm around my shoulder, he said jokingly, “Just don't make me say I told you so.”
“Whatever.” I jabbed my elbow into his ribs and relief surged through me. Maybe this was going to work out. Who said a girl couldn't have two best friends? Even if I was in love with one of them.
Colin let the subject drop and I forced myself not to think about it again. A couple hours later, we finished work on his paper and he left, giving me an hour to get ready before Reece picked me up. Paul and Martha had gone to the Country Club for dinner and I enjoyed the quiet of the house.
There was only one moment when the stillness was broken. About ten minutes after Colin left, the phone rang incessantly for almost five minutes. I didn't pick it up. Even knowing it could be Reece or Martha and Paul, I didn't want to deal with the chance it might be the mystery caller. Eventually the ringing stopped and I made a mental note to check with Paul about when the new number would be set up.
The doorbell rang long before Reece was due, yet there he stood.
“You're early,” I accused.
“Sorry,” he said, a sheepish smile doing little to soften the tension in his face. “You ready?”
“I guess I need to be.” I grabbed my coat from the closet.
“I like that coat on you,” he said as we walked to his car. “It makes you look like a ski bunny.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled, ducking my head.
The ride started off with silence engulfing the car. I didn't know how to take his comment. He'd always said things like that, but now...well, did they mean something more now?
“I shouldn't have said that, should I?” he asked. I wondered if he could see the confusion in my face. “I'm sorry, you told me to give you some space, and I keep trying to push back in.”
“It's okay.” Butterflies danced across my skin. There was an implication in his words that maybe only I could hear, but it was there regardless of my pessimism.
“Sorry, I'm just feeling a bit nervous. I don't know what to expect from her.”
What to expect? I thought about how to answer that with honesty. My thoughts carried me back to Mom, and what I'd learned to expect from her.
The first time Carol came for me, she took me to the Williams. They were nice and they had a little girl, Tatiana and anther foster child, Lyndsay. I was with them almost four months. Mama tried. I know she did.
“I'm going to some meetings, baby. They're really helping me,” she told me on our first visit. “Only a couple of months and we'll be back together.”
“I miss you, Mama. I want to come home.”
“I know, baby. I'm doing everything I can.”
She meant the words. She did try and after three and a half months apart, I went home.
But home wasn't home any longer. Gone was the three-bedroom apartment furnished with worn but cared for furnishing. Gone was my bedroom and all of my things, my memories. Instead, I went home to a one bedroom flat and I slept on the sofa. Not so bad, except the one spring in the middle that jabbed me in the ribs.
I only had to sleep on it for two months before Carol came back for me. Mama had tried, but it wasn't enough. Not for the courts and eventually it stopped being enough for me.
I glanced at Reece's profile. His strong jaw line and the steely look in his eye. I reached over to place my hand on top of his, where it rested on the steering wheel. Honesty was hard, but I gave it to him.
“Expect nothing.”
Chapter Thirty
Christmas was ten days away. The White Winter Formal only three days, and I'd pretty much put it to the back of my mind. I didn't have much interest in going, considering the disaster the last dance had been. Besides, I was still dealing with Reece and Colin. As much as they tried to be friends in front of me, I could tell that there was distrust between the two of them. A snide remark here, a sneer there, but they were trying and I loved them both all the more for it.
I wouldn't have even thought about the Winter Formal, if I hadn't run into Jenn in the restroom between classes. When I walked through the door, there she was, leaning into the mirror meticulously applying an extra coating of mascara to her already thick lashes.
“Hey, Dani,” she said, her mouth curling up.
I smiled back and headed into a stall. When I came back out, she was still there, this time working on her lips. I washed my hands, all the time watching her carefully trace the outline of her lips, before filling them in with a soft pink lipstick. How she had time to do that every morning, and between classes was beyond me. I usually ran the risk of being late whenever I tried to do more than lip-gloss.
“Soooo, I hear you and Reece are finally hooking up,” she said, her eyes sliding over to meet mine in the mirror.
“What? Who told you that?” My dripping hands fell to my sides in shock.
“Oh, I can't remember, but Trace said something about Reece was going to ask you to the formal.” She glanced away and concentrated on putting the make-up back on her bag.
“Oh, well, no. I mean, no, he didn't ask me and no, we're not hooking up.”
“Girl, what is wrong with you? He's hot and soooo sweet. I just don't get it. I know you like him, and he definitely likes you. Why wouldn't you go for it?”
“Reece doesn't think of me that way.”
“Bull! Dani, I was at Homecoming. And I did try dating him for a couple of weeks after that.”
My stomach rolled with jealousy at the reminder. I'd always hated when Reece was dating someone, but with Jenn, it had been worse, because I actually liked her.
“When he finally dumped me, I was so upset.” Her cheeks pinked and I recalled the tears she'd shed in this very bathroom. “Not just because I was hurt that he didn't like me, but because I'd known all along that he liked you and I'd turned down Trace to date Reece. Thank God, Trace was still interested.” She turned back to her own reflection and began fiddling with her hair, fluffing it up then smoothing it down into place.
“Well, Reece and I are just friends again.” I ignored the skeptical look she gave and concentrated on trying to believe the words myself.
“So, you're going with Colin?” she asked.
“Yes...no... I don't know.” Even I could hear the confused desperation in my voice.
Jenn laughed at my non-answer. “Well, give me a call if you want to do a girls' day.”
“Thanks, I'll think about it.”
I did think about it. In fact, the dance was the only thing I thought about the rest of the morning. I knew I hadn't agreed to go with Colin, only given him a maybe. Was he expecting me to go with him? What if Reece asked? There was no way I'd be able to say no, but he hadn't. So, if he'd told Trace he was going to ask, why hadn't he?
By lunch, I was determined to avoid the whole thing. A night at home was the safest choice. That way I wouldn't risk making a fool of myself over Reece a second time and wouldn't hurt Colin's feelings by going with Reece instead of him. Besides, last year’s Winter Formal was a nightmare I didn’t want to relive and I hadn’t even gone.
Martha and Paul had left on their Caribbean cruise the day before, it was a tradition they’d decided to start up with a few of their friends.
I'd already suffered through two weeks of listening to Reece rave about Gina, the senior who’d agreed to go with him. I had made it plain I wasn’t interested in going, although I knew if Reece had asked I’d have gone naked if I’d had to. So instead, I rented a bunch of movies and bought myself a huge bucke
t of caramel popcorn.
Halfway through my third movie the doorbell rang. Peeking through the peephole, I saw Reece leaning against the side of the house, a huge grin on his face. I opened the door.
“God, you missed a kick ass party!” he said in greeting as he came in. He threw his coat over the banister and walked through to the living room. He flopped onto the couch, and pressed play on the remote.
My movie started again, then picked up speed as he began fast forwarding to the next scene.
“I can’t believe you missed the dance to stay home and watch this crap.” He finally got frustrated and pressed pause. “Didn’t you already see this in the theater?”
“Yeah, but I liked it and wanted to watch it again. All the way through, thank you very much.” I snatched the remote from him and tried to figure out how to get back to the scene I’d been at. “What was so amazing about the dance?”
“They hired this awesome DJ, and Trace managed to spike the drinks.”
“Wow, sounds great.” Sarcasm all but dripping from the words. “So you’re here because you’re drunk and can’t drive home.”
“No. I only had one cup and then Mrs. White tossed it. Trace was lucky she didn’t catch him, otherwise he’d be off the team.” He shook his head as if to get back on track. “I’m here ‘cause I’ve gotta ask you something.”
“Go for it.” I was still fumbling with the remote.
“What do you think of Gina?”
That stilled my hands. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, she came on really heavy and a couple of the guys on the team have dated her…” His cheeks pinked and a strange look passed over his face.
“Oh, my God! Did you really come here at one in the morning to ask me if I think you should have sex with her?!”
“No! I just wondered what you thought about-”
“Go home, Reece! I don’t want to know about your sex life!”
“Why not? I talk to the guys about it.” The expression on his face was watchful, like he was gauging my reaction.
“Because, you’re like my brother!” I yelled, desperate to get him to end the conversation before my heart was ripped from my chest.
He left without saying anything else. His smile was gone, but I didn’t care. The idea of him having sex with some other girl was too devastating.
Staying home again this year was the safest thing. No way was I going to risk seeing Reece with a girl that this time I’d know he was possibly having sex with.
I entered the cafeteria, and saw that our table was still empty. For a few minutes, I was able to not worry about saying or doing something that could set the two of them off. Reece was the next to arrive and sat down beside me. I scooted over to give him a bit of space and he followed me. My leg tingled where it touched his and I cleared my throat before quickly shoveling food into my mouth.
Avoiding eye contact with him, I scanned the cafeteria and came to rest on Jenn. She sat with Trace's arm wrapped around her. When she noticed my gaze, she smiled and wiggled her eyebrows as she took in Reece next to me. I nearly choked on my sandwich.
Reece smacked me on the back as I burst into a coughing fit. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded as I got my hacking under control. I was going to kill Jenn for that. I just prayed I could get to her before she mentioned it to anyone.
“I’m fine. Just some water went down the wrong way.” I fiddled with the remnants of my lunch, letting my eyes roam everywhere but to his. I was already red, and looking at him would only make it worse. The only problem was that I couldn’t stop thinking about what Jenn had said.
“So, what are you doing this weekend?” I asked, unable to control my curiosity any longer.
He shrugged carelessly, but I could see tension tightening the muscles of his neck. “Staying home, I guess. I was planning on going to the dance, but…” His shoulders bopped again.
“Did your date cancel?” Was I being as obvious as I thought?
“I never asked her. She asked for some space, so I’m waiting for her to ask me.”
At his words, my eyes flew to his. He was smiling, though it seemed more self-conscious than I’d ever seen before from him. Jenn had been right. How was it possible that my heart could be singing so loudly, yet only I seemed to be aware of it? I didn’t know the words, but the melody was there and it rose and fell with each rapid beat of my heart. He said he was waiting for me to ask. Could it really be that simple?
Just as I parted my lips, intent on asking, Colin appeared. He sat down across from us and every intention I had disappeared. I couldn’t ask Reece with Colin there. I may not have returned Colin’s feelings, but I wasn’t going to purposely hurt him, especially if he had some idea that we were already going together.
Colin raised a brow at the silence surrounding us and my eyes flitted between him and Reece.
“You going to the Winter Formal, Reece?” Colin asked, going right to the heart of every butterfly swarming in my stomach.
“I don’t think so. You?” He didn’t look up from his food.
“Yep, got a hot date, too.” Colin gave a smug smile that Reece missed because he was looking at me. I stared in shock at Colin as he reached across the table to brush his hand along my arm.
Reece stood suddenly, dropping his uneaten food back on his tray. Without a word, he left and the butterflies died a slow and agonizing death, their wings teasing me with one last flutter before setting into a heavy weight in the pit of my stomach.
“Colin, I can’t-”
“Relax, Dani. I’m going with Laura Grace. She’s a junior and doesn’t have half the baggage you do.” His smile gentled, losing the smugness.
“Then why did you just make Reece think that we were going together?”
“Has he ever had to fight for a girl? For anything?” My silence was his answer. “If he really loves you and wants to be with you, he should fight for you. You should expect him to do that. That’s what you do when it’s real.”
Would Reece fight for me?
Chapter Thirty-One
Reece didn’t come back during lunch and he managed to take off after school before I saw him. I was going to ask him the next day if he would go with me, but he didn’t show. Instead, he sent me a text on my way to school that simply said Gregg had a bad night and he’d see me on Monday. I’d missed my chance.
Any calls I made to his cell went straight to voice mail, and with his mom back, I was hesitant to go to the hospital. She'd pretty much ignored me when I'd gone with Reece to pick her up and I was still a bit embarrassed about butting into their family business.
The day flew by with most classes being about handing in any final papers that were due and getting study guides for semester tests that we faced in January.
Between classes, I tried texting Reece, but since no reply came, I was never even sure he'd gotten them. Finally, I sent him a text asking him to come by tomorrow.
I’d sent Reece about ten texts and heard nothing until early Saturday afternoon when I got my reply. Have fun 2nite.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come with us? Laura doesn’t mind,” Colin reassured me over the phone. Yeah, right.
“No, go have fun. I’m going to watch a few movies and enjoy not being subjected to simulated public sex.”
“Dani, please. You’re going to spend the night with Gramps and Granny. Anything is better than that.”
“Actually, Martha and Paul left for their cruise last night. They should be sailing down the Baja peninsula right about now.”
“Okay, I take it back. Being alone is worse than spending a Saturday night with your parents.”
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll crack open one of Paul’s bottles of wine and drown my sorrows,” I said, trying not to think about how close I’d come to asking Reece to the dance. “I’ll call you next week.”
I hung up, cutting off his continued protests.
I popped in a movie and even suffered through the previews of m
ovies that had already been out on video for years. Just as the opening credits started, the phone rang. Martha had told me she planned on calling once they got all settled in, so I hopped off the couch to answer the call.
“Hello?”
Dead air greeted me.
“Hello? Martha? I can’t hear you.”
“Bitch. I’m going to kill you.”
I slammed the phone down, every bone in my back cracked as I tensed in fear. It was the first call I’d had since Paul changed the number. How had they gotten the number? I’d only given it to Colin and Reece. The only other way would be if this person was a friend of Martha or Paul’s, but that would make even less sense.
The phone rang again, but this time instead of picking it up, I pulled the cord from the wall. No way was I going to spend the night listening to it ring.
Before going back to the living room, I double checked the locks and pulled all the blinds closed. That task accomplished, I went back to the couch and curled up, tugging a blanket under my chin. I tried to refocus my mind on the movie, but my mind constantly wandered back to the caller.
Giving up, I paused the movie and leaned forward to pull a photo album from the bottom of the coffee table. Flipping through the pages, I smiled as memories replaced my anxiety.
Photos of my first year with the Thompsons filled the pages, all except the last. There on that final page was a copy of one of my only two photo of Jace. He was fifteen and I was five. A Christmas tree sparkled in the background and presents piled around us.
It was one of those precious illusions that keep you going. The smiles plastered across our faces were the only real thing about that photo.
“Come on, Dani,” Jace said as he pulled me towards the line.
“But, Jace, Santa never brings us anything.” I resisted his pull, not wanting to face this mysterious man who always deemed me too naughty to deserve any gifts.
“We’re not gonna talk to him. Just come on.”
I gave in and let Jace guide me through the line. When we reached the front, Jace spoke to the woman handing out the pricing info. She raised a brow at us then shrugged. We followed her past the brightly clad Santa until we were in front of a tree. Red and gold balls hung from the branches and a burgundy ribbon wound its way around the frame, twisting from the angel perched on top to the bottom where decoration dangled.
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