Michael nodded. “I must.”
“Then why are you my guardian if you go missing for days at a time?”
He reached out to touch her and stopped an inch short of her shoulder. A frown marred his facial features as he seemingly remembered something. “I’m sorry, Helena. This conversation will have to wait.”
A nagging voice chipped away at her resolve to keep from questioning him further. Why did Lucious assume that I am a saint the moment he saw Michael? Do only saints have guardians? She nipped her lip and met his gaze, full of determination. “I want the truth, Michael. Why guard me?”
Michael glanced at the ceiling as if asking permission. When he locked gazes with her again, his expression became distant. “It is not the right time for this conversation.”
Blood drained from her face. He wasn’t going to tell her anything. She was so desperate to speak to him, to get some answers or support from him and, instead, he avoided her questions. Her heart shattered into a million pieces from this betrayal, and she shook with frustration. “Get out!”
Nails dug into her palms. Her hands hurt although such minor pain could not compare to the barbed wire coiling around her bleeding heart. The world she was used to was crumbling around her and there was nothing she could do to return it to normal.
Michael bowed his head and vanished without as much as an apology.
Sometimes, she wished for him to have a physical body in this world so she could kick him, even if she were to regret her actions later. Was there no one left whom she could trust? The walls around her were beginning to close in from every direction. She needed to get away, needed some time and space to think things through.
Helena put on the hoodie Lucious bought for her and grasped the handle of her bag with her belongings. She swung it over her shoulder and stormed over to the door. When she flung it open, she froze in her stead. Lucious stood on the other side. His fist was raised mid-air, ready to knock.
“I heard you shouting. Are you alright?” He seemed concerned.
This was the same curious and concerned face he showed her when she broke down because of Andrew. She couldn’t take another interrogation by him. “I’m leaving.”
Lucious trapped her with his body, blocking the doorway. He wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her against him.
Helena forgot how to breathe. The bag she was holding slipped out and fell on the ground with a soft thump. He was too close. His face hovered inches above hers, making her already thudding heart pump faster. She took in a large gulp of air, soothing her burning lungs. Her hands grasped his flexed biceps. They were much larger than she had anticipated.
She pushed at him and when he didn’t move, she glared. “Let me go! I want to leave.”
“And where will you go?”
She slapped him across the face which caused Lucious to lick his bleeding lower lip.
Helena stilled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
She waited for an outburst of rage from him, anything that showed her what went on behind his indifferent mask. To her dismay, Lucious remained a mystery.
He shifted both of their bodies, trapping her between him and the wall. Because of his closeness, her coherent thoughts went out the window. She held on to the rage from her fight with Michael. Her eyes watered and, to stop the tears, she fought her way out of his arms once more.
“Let me go, Lucious. You have no right to touch me!” In her useless struggles, she kept her face hidden from him to conceal her tears.
“Look at me, Helena.”
“No, let go…”
“Look at me, damn it!” he shouted.
She lifted her face with defiance blazing in her hazel eyes.
His eyes weren’t glowing as she thought they would be. Wasn’t he angry with me? Although she had promised not to cry anymore, she couldn’t stop the tears once they commenced their descent. And, when he brushed his fingers against her cheek to wipe them away, a blush dyed her face red.
“I can’t keep doing this. There’s no one I can trust. I feel…I feel alone.” She sniffled and rubbed her sleeves over her face, wiping away the streams. “There are a lot of things I don’t understand. I’ve never asked for the Council to be after me. I can’t even sleep at night because of those strange dreams. I’m scared…”
His cool hand pressed against her wet cheek, and he drew her in. He was close enough for their foreheads to touch. Two blue-brown spheres burned into hers, and she held her breath when her muscles tensed in anticipation.
Shocked at her reaction, she jerked her face away from him.
He breathed the words into her ear. “Re-create the link with me, Helena. You are mine, and I will protect you. The link will help me find you if we’re separated. Let me be someone you can trust.”
Could she trust a vampire to keep her safe? Michael had repeatedly warned her against it. She thought of her guardian, reminding herself of their fight which made her nails dig deeper into Lucious’ upper arms. Once she realised what she’d done, her hands fell to her sides. In the end, it didn’t matter whether she trusted Lucious or not. She had no idea how to connect them together without Michael’s help.
“I don’t know how,” she said, defeated.
He moved away to see her properly. “You were able to do it before, you can do it again.”
“It’s different this time.”
Lucious’ grip on her loosened, and he cupped her face. “There is no harm in trying. You have to believe in yourself.”
No matter how long she observed his blank expression, she couldn’t read him. So, instead, she questioned the peculiar sensation that caused her heart to thump like a wild rabbit in his vicinity.
Reluctant, she gave a curt nod. “Okay, I’ll try. I can’t guarantee it will work.”
His arms fell away, giving her room to breathe. “I am here for you. Tell me what you need.”
Her blushing was wrong. She shouldn’t feel anything for this stranger. He brought pain and misery into her life, yet she closed her eyes and concentrated on being inside of her shields. Helena thought of the place where Michael had taken her. She knew how it looked to the fine detail, but in that moment nothing came to mind. So, she thought harder about the link, the way it felt, how it looked.
Her fingers tingled with anticipation. They reached out to him, wanting to be close to his blood-red string. She couldn’t comprehend why. The yearning spread warmth through her body and, soon, fear of what this could mean shook her concentration, making her withdraw.
With laboured breaths, she opened her eyes to look at him. “I can’t seem to do it.”
Lucious eyed her and her trembling hands. “Give me your hand.”
She lifted her left hand, placing it in his offered palm. The touch was almost electric. Strange energy buzzed between them. There was no more need to think of what she had to do because the instructions became instinctual to her.
“Hold me. Not too tightly,” she commanded, placing both of her palms flat against his chest.
Lucious seemed taken aback by her boldness. The smile he wore with such confidence vanished. His eyes twinkled with excitement and curiosity.
He enveloped her in his arms. The alien energy engulfed them, burning her a little as if she stood next to a bonfire.
She hesitated but rested her forehead against his chest. Her breathing calmed as did her heart. Lack of a heartbeat from Lucious was odd. She ignored it. Closing her eyes, she let go of her physical body and focused on the task at hand.
A barrier erected before her. It twisted itself around Lucious. His shields, she thought.
“Drop your shields.”
His body tensed. “Why?”
“Trust me.”
He didn’t relax.
She repeated the order again, thinking he may not have heard her the first time.
Lucious remained tense but let go of his resistance and let her in.
A moment later, Helena stood in a dark chamber. Luciou
s was no longer where she could see or feel him. She knew he was there, holding on to her physical body. A single light shone from above, illuminating a couple of feet ahead.
She frowned. She wasn’t inside of her shields. Hers were always well-lit and had steel walls encapsulated her. Nor could this be the darkness that wanted to force its way in. The place where she stood appeared lonesome and cold.
Where am I? She searched the darkness, finding nothing she could focus on.
“The heart of a vampire,” a woman’s melodic voice sounded behind her.
Helena faced the direction of the voice. An exact copy of her stood under the same stream of light, except this girl wore a long white dress with web-like golden embroidery decorating the silky material.
The stranger circled her. Each graceful step was close to a dance movement, or so Helena imagined as the doppelganger glided along. “Do you truly wish for this link?”
“I’m not sure.”
The stranger stopped behind her. Her fingers combed through Helena’s hair with a delicate touch. “Then why are you here?”
It was a simple enough question. Helena wanted to answer it, yet no words came out. She frowned. Why am I here? Was it to please a vampire she didn’t know well or because she was angry with her guardian angel?
It was hard to think, so she moved away from the peculiar comfort her doppelganger gave her. This helped clear her mind. The answer was there again. “I want to trust him.”
The stranger tilted her head to one side. “You would trust him with your life?”
“He had saved me before.”
“That is not an answer.” The doppelganger spoke quicker as she picked up her dizzying movements once more. “Would you entrust your life to this creature, a being without a beating heart? He preys on the blood of the innocents and is consumed by darkness on the inside and out. He is an abomination and should not exist in this world.”
Her words rang true. Those things scared her: the blood, the pain, and the deaths Helena witnessed in such a short period of time. What would happen to her if she stayed with the vampires? And, if she left, would Andrew forgive her for what she had done to him?
That meant they could never be together again. She couldn’t accept this. She had to be strong and willing to accept a vampire for what he was. “I trust him with my life.”
The doppelganger stopped. Her shocked expression told Helena she didn’t expect such a reply. Pain and anger fuelled the fire in the girl’s eyes as she outstretched her pale arm in which she held Lucious’ red string. “Then, by all means, it is your choice.”
Helena took the string from her. The same energy from the Angel Realm coursed through it, sending tingles through her fingers. She looked at her gut. There was nothing there. Michael did something to her. He sealed it away somehow.
Running her hand over her chest and stomach, she couldn’t find it.
“This is the last thing I will tell you,” the doppelganger began begrudgingly. “The soul-link is a part of you. You cannot remove it as it is attached to your soul. The path you chose will bring you much pain. Good luck, Helena.”
The stranger waved her goodbye and faded into the darkness, leaving Helena to stare at where she stood. Her fingers played with the red string in her hand. The warmth of his string soothed her nerves as if it sought to be a part of her.
Wanting to find her link, she felt it there. The girl was right. It was a part of her. She tugged on the white cord and extended it. Nothing happened until the two strings touched. They wove around one another. This time, there was no knot she needed to tie. The two strings became one harmonious ensemble of white and scarlet.
Lightheaded, her concentration deteriorated. The more she thought about anything, the less she understood what she was thinking. She clung to her consciousness and opened her eyes to find Lucious’ worried gaze studying her.
She gave him a weak smile. “It worked.”
Helena awoke to a foreign ceiling staring back at her. She scrambled to sit up and made herself dizzy in the process. Her panic subsided once she recalled where she was and let herself adjust to the dim light in the room.
She rolled her head to one side to find a dark shape sitting on the bed next to her. In an attempt to move away from him, she tried sitting up again, but two cool hands grasped her shoulders and held her down.
“Don’t move. Your IV will come out if you do,” Lucious said.
Her hoarse voice scratched at her dry throat. “What happened?”
“We’re in your room. You collapsed in the hallway and wouldn’t wake up no matter what we did. The doctor said your collapse was due to exhaustion.”
She coughed. “May I have some water?”
He slid off the bed.
Her eyes followed his silhouette to a dresser next to a deep-purple armchair she hadn’t noticed before. She heard him pour a glass of water which he placed in her trembling hand upon his return.
Helena lifted her head. Taking a sip helped soothed the ache and rid her of the scratchy dryness. Until she was satisfied, she drank the water with loud gulps.
Lucious took the empty glass away without a single word.
“Why is it so dark in here?” she asked.
“The doctor said we shouldn’t shock your system with bright light when you wake up. So far, you have been asleep for over twenty-seven hours. It is early morning outside, so I suggest you keep the curtains drawn a while longer.” He sat next to her. His presence gave her a strange sense of calm and serenity which wasn’t there before.
“I always wondered what happens to vampires when the sun comes up.”
Lucious didn’t look at her when he spoke, but he seemed as relaxed as she was. “The light itself does nothing to us. The main problem is the UV radiation. Prolonged exposure to it drains our energy, paralysing us.”
“So, the vampire legends were false, who knew?” She giggled.
A quiet thudding sounded in her ears. A headache wasn’t far behind.
“I don’t feel well,” she admitted and felt agitation rise inside of her—a feeling that did not belong to her. She studied his face, realising the emotion came from him.
“Tonight, the elders will arrive. You must get better by then,” he told her.
She smiled. “Is that your way of saying you want for me to get better quickly?”
Irritation? A flash of anger? Both emotions emanated from him. How? No, I must be imagining things.
His calm dissipated and strangling agitation overpowered the other emotions. “It would be inconvenient if you are in bad form for the meeting.”
“Ah, it’s always about convenience with you vampires,” she snapped and rolled away from him. There was nothing else to add to their conversation. She closed her eyes and let the sleep take away her reality.
11
Uniting Energies
Stuck in bed, Helena was forced to watch a maid rushing around her room with a dust brush. The willowy, short woman gave Helena a once over. She hurried to the nearest window and jerked the curtains apart.
Bright afternoon light filled the bedroom. Helena’s migraine from last night returned tenfold, forcing her to hiss in pain. Her hands shot out from under the quilt to massage her temples. She grunted when the throbbing in her skull wouldn’t subside.
The maid, saying nothing, lifted Helena’s bag and took the liberty of rummaging through it.
Unable to believe what she was seeing, Helena groaned inwardly. The maid’s behaviour made her wonder if she was part of the hotel’s staff or hired by Alexander to make her day miserable.
The stranger took out a pair of faded jeans, a red t-shirt Helena didn’t know she owned, some socks, matching underwear and arranged them on the edge of the bed into a neat pile. Satisfied with her choices, she stood in place, smiling at Helena.
Gathering enough strength to sit up, Helena smiled back. She thanked the woman after reading her golden name badge clipped to the left breast pocket.
Magda�
��or so her name tag read—beamed with a bright, toothy smile any photographer would kill to capture, and pointed at the dresser.
Helena’s brows squished together, and she gave a slow nod which the maid seemed to take this as an affirmation of some sort.
With much effort, Helena clambered out of bed. The IV was gone, allowing her to move around without restraint. A small band-aid was left in its place to remind her of the previous night. She swayed the second she was upright. There was a few metres distance between where she stood and the bathroom.
I can make it.
She took the first step and stumbled. Her hands and knees hit the ground first.
Magda dropped the duster and ran to her aid. Her eyes were large with concern, and she wrapped a supporting arm around Helena’s waist. The maid pointed at the bathroom with a questioning look.
If Helena’s head didn’t feel as if it would crack open at any given moment, she would have laughed at her predicament.
“Yes, I need to go there,” Helena replied to the maid’s unspoken question.
Why was she in such a condition to begin with? She touched her forehead—no fever. Her body was fine a day or so ago. Moving it now felt like shifting a mountain.
Magda draped Helena’s arm over her shoulders, helping her back into a standing position. The thin woman struggled to remain upright while supporting Helena’s weight. To remedy it, Helena straightened her posture, determined not to make Magda suffer any more than she already was.
“Do you know where Lucious is?” Magda didn’t seem to hear her the first time, so she repeated the question louder.
The maid smiled at Helena with another perfect smile, shaking her head.
Not knowing whether she couldn’t understand the question or if she didn’t know where he was, Helena stopped talking. She peered through the gaps in her fingers which obscured her vision. They were almost there.
She grabbed hold of the golden doorknob for support. As she careened inside, her bare feet absorbed the chill from the slippery marble floor. She slid along the smooth tiles towards the large mirror hanging over an oval sink which was encrusted with golden flower patterns. Close up, her reflection didn’t give her any comfort. She appeared worse than after her return home with Andrew. Crater-like dark circles highlighted her bulging eyes. Her skin had paled a few shades, if not more. Her mother would kill her for not taking care of her health.
Russian Roulette (Helena Hawthorn Series Book 1) Page 15