by Glynna Kaye
“I don’t know the answer to that. But time will tell. Trust me. And God.”
When her sister hung up, Olivia sat staring at the lighted apartment window across the way. How could things have gone so wrong? All week she’d prayed. Cried. Prayed some more. Had herself almost convinced that when Rob returned he’d sweep her into his arms, explain everything—that it was all a terrible misunderstanding—and somehow everything would be okay.
But it wasn’t okay. Didn’t appear it would ever be.
The sound of an approaching vehicle drew her attention. A familiar minivan pulled up in front of the lodge, the faint, accompanying odor of car exhaust catching her attention. She sat up straighter on the porch swing. Paulette?
After several minutes, the driver’s-side door opened and in the illumination from the lodge’s porch light, she recognized her oldest sister getting out. She paused to speak to another person in the vehicle, then closed the van’s door quietly. Moved to the passenger side. Waited. Then reached for the door handle and opened it. Someone exited. Slammed the door.
Brandi?
Paulette motioned to her daughter, who preceded her up the stairs to the lodge. The shoulders of Olivia’s niece slumped, the bounce in her step gone. Paulette opened the glass-mullioned door and they disappeared inside.
What were they doing here tonight, with Brandi looking like someone headed for the hangman’s noose?
Apprehension prickling, Olivia trotted across the clearing to quietly pull open the lodge door. She stepped inside and spied Paulette, arms folded, mouth set in a grim line. She shot Olivia a sharp look, then focused on Brandi, who stood at the bottom of the steps, watching as Rob descended from his apartment.
His gaze swept the three of them, brows raised in question. “What can I do for you ladies?”
“Brandi has something she wants to say to you.” Paulette nodded toward her daughter and Rob turned to the young girl.
A tear trickled down her cheek. “I’m sorry, Rob.”
He glanced at Olivia as if for a clue as to what was going on, appearing as perplexed as she felt. “For—?”
Lips trembling, Brandi hung her head. “For trashing Singing Rock’s cabins.”
He hadn’t seen that one coming.
With a troubled glance at Brandi’s mother, then Olivia, he motioned to one of the seating areas of the rearranged room. “I think we should all sit down.”
Brandi and Paulette followed him, seated themselves on the sofa—miles apart. He eased into an upholstered chair, but Olivia hung back.
The teenager clasped her hands between her knees, looking more like a wide-eyed little kid than the ever-smiling, confident young woman he’d encountered several times since coming to town. She was responsible for a month of headaches and repair work?
“Thank you for telling me, Brandi.” His voice broke through the echoing stillness of the room. “The ongoing damage has been a concern for me. I’m glad it’s come to an end.”
“I’m sorry.” Staring down at her lap, she wiped at her eyes.
Man, he hated to see her cry. But he couldn’t go all soft just yet. He needed to get to the bottom of this. “Had I done something to upset you? To make you feel you needed to vandalize the property once I became the manager?”
She jerked her head up, shaking it in denial. “No. It had nothing to do with you.”
“Tell him why you did it,” Paulette prompted, looking for all the world like a sullen, puffed up old owl.
Brandi shrugged. Looked back down at her hands.
Olivia caught his eye, shook her head and moved in closer. Apparently she didn’t know what was going on any more than he did.
“She got in with the wrong crowd.” Paulette shifted impatiently on the sofa, not taking her incensed eyes off her daughter. “Summer kids.”
He glanced again at Olivia, realization dawning. “Those kids who took exception to thinning overgrown acres along the highway?”
Brandi stared at him, eyes pleading. “I tried to stop them.”
Paulette scoffed. “How is joining in on damaging your grandparents’ property trying to stop them? Almost killing Brett’s dog?”
The teen drew back, her eyes begging him for understanding. “I thought it was a fox or coyote. Why would Elmo be out in the middle of the night? I had no idea we might have hit him until Olivia said the vet thought someone did.”
“Joy riding and vandalizing. When your father gets back—”
Rob held up a restraining hand, cutting off Paulette’s verbal barrage. Then he focused on the girl. “Brandi, why don’t you tell me in your own words what happened. Why you participated in tearing up Singing Rock.”
Her chin trembled. “Because I wanted Grandma and Grandpa to come home. If there was trouble, I thought they would. They’re the only ones in the whole wide world who understand me. Who care.”
He sensed Olivia flinch.
“That’s not the real reason,” Paulette cut in again, her tone shaming. “Stop making excuses and tell them about the boy.”
With a teary gaze, Brandi looked at Olivia for the first time. “I’d never had a boyfriend before, Aunt Olivia. Not until this summer. I was afraid if I didn’t help him and his friends—”
“That he’d dump you,” Olivia supplied, moving to crouch at the feet of her niece. Take her hand.
Brandi gave a jerky nod, her gaze locked on that of her aunt. Another tear trickled. “He dumped me, anyway. Called me tonight from Phoenix and…dumped me.”
“Oh, honey.” Ignoring Paulette’s disapproving glare, Olivia gathered the now-sobbing girl into her arms. Thank goodness Olivia was here. He wouldn’t have known what to do.
A scowling Paulette bobbed her head judgmentally and turned to him. “That’s how I found out about all this. That she’d been sneaking out at night. Running with that summer crowd. Her baby sister told me she was crying after she’d been on the phone. I went to find out what was going on and all this came tumbling out. Heaven help me and her father if she did any other ‘favors’ for that boy besides wrecking Singing Rock.”
A red-eyed Brandi jerked from Olivia’s arms, obviously offended at the implication. “I didn’t. I didn’t, Mom. I promise.”
Rob’s steady gaze held Olivia’s for a flashing second. He stood and reached out to take Brandi’s hand, helped her to her feet before Paulette could further embarrass her daughter. “Thank you for coming here tonight to tell me the truth.”
“Are you going to call the police?” She shot a look at her mom. Had Paulette convinced her he would?
He smiled. “No.”
Her own smile wobbled. “I’ll work here after school for free. I’ll get a job. I’ll pay you back. I promise.”
“How about we discuss that later? I’m sure you want to get on home, try to get a good night’s sleep.”
“Thank you.” She cut a doubtful look at her mother, granted him a grateful half smile, then fled out the door and into the night.
“I don’t know what to say, Rob.” Paulette rose to her feet, eyes weary and mouth downturned. “As a parent you try to instill in your kids right and wrong. She may think after this apology that it’s all over, that she’s off the hook, but—”
“Go easy on her, Paulette,” he said softly, his heart going out to Olivia’s niece. “I understand there are consequences for her wrong decisions. That you and your husband need to establish parameters for her to regain your trust. But don’t let her feel you’re rejecting her for what she’s done. Don’t make her pay for this mistake the rest of her life.”
Was that how Rob felt? That he was having to pay for his “mistake” for the rest of his life? To Olivia’s surprise, Paulette didn’t argue with him as she may have if it had been her baby sister uttering those same words on
Brandi’s behalf. Instead, she nodded, glanced thoughtfully at Olivia, then followed her daughter outside.
At the sound of the van starting up, Rob moved to the door and quietly shut it. Then turned to her, shaking his head. “Never would have guessed Brandi.”
“Me, neither. I feel so awful.” She sank down onto the sofa, weak-kneed. “So guilty.”
“Why? You didn’t have anything to do with this.”
“I knew she and her mother were on the outs. She even told me how much she missed her grandparents, wished they’d come back. If only I’d paid more attention. Spent time with her. Hadn’t been so caught up in my own world.”
“You can’t blame yourself. I imagine this has been in the making for quite a while.”
“I still remember how it feels to be her age. How confusing everything is. I could have helped.” She clutched one of the throw pillows to her chest. “Paulette means well, but she doesn’t understand a personality like Brandi’s. Instead of nurturing and guiding, she tries to control it. I should have stepped in and run interference between the two. Maybe Paulette’s right. I don’t have the sense of a goose.”
Frowning, he eased down onto the sofa beside her. “Hold on here. I don’t see any evidence of that.”
“I can give you a few examples if you’d like.” She gave a halfhearted laugh. He may as well judge for himself. “For instance, the married guy I was dating right before I came back here. How about that?”
He squinted one eye. “You dated a married guy?”
“Steadily for over a month. I should have guessed something was up when he didn’t want the rest of the team to know we were seeing each other.”
“The guy lied to you.”
She tossed the pillow aside. “Yes, but I was too naive. Should have seen the signs. Questioned more. I felt like such a fool when I found out.”
“And deeply hurt.”
“That, too.”
To her surprise, he reached for her hand, his eyes troubled. “I shouldn’t have lied to you, either, Olivia. I was wrong to keep Angie a secret.”
Her breath caught as he cradled her hand gently in his big warm one. She met his gaze uncertainly. “I wish you had told me. Felt you could trust me.”
“It had nothing to do with not trusting you. From the moment you showed up at Singing Rock, I kept telling myself I was putting it off because I didn’t want to hurt you. That I didn’t want to disappoint you.” He gazed down at their clasped hands. “But I know now it was about my pride. I was mortified when I learned I’d fathered a child outside of marriage. Humiliated to my very foundation. Ashamed. I finally realized I’d been indulging in pride my entire adult life. Congratulating myself that I was above temptation. That’s not an easy thing to admit. Especially to you.”
“There was something you expected of yourself—”
“And discovered it didn’t exist. I’d convinced everyone—and myself—that I could never stumble. Fall. But it was a life of counterfeit humility. I’m nothing but a big phony.”
She tightened her grip on his hand. “You aren’t a phony, Rob.”
“The facts dispute that, don’t you think? I’d even considered quitting when your folks got back, not bringing Angie here at all. Then you’d never have to know. I was afraid you’d never be able to understand or respect me if you found out.”
“I still respect you.” She nibbled at her lower lip. “But I have to admit, I don’t understand.”
“If it wasn’t for the reality of Angie, I’d be able to convince myself it happened to someone else. That someone else let their relationship with God go untended, had allowed their values and personal commitments to wither on the vine.”
“Things like that don’t happen overnight.”
“No.” He released her hand, stood. Paced the floor. “Ironically, at the time I was caught up in climbing the corporate ladder, my spiritual life spiraled steadily downward. I could stand here and make excuses all night. Tout the toll taken by years in a highly stressful work environment. No time for friends who would keep me accountable. No time for God. Believe me, I’ve thought up some good ones.”
Feeling his heartache, she wished he’d cease his pacing. Sit down by her once again where she could reach out to touch him and console him.
“So, Angie’s mother—she worked with you?” It was so easy to picture her. Designer business suit and pricey high heels. Manicured nails. Stylishly cut hair. Sharp, professional, with an eye on the next promotion. Everything Olivia wasn’t.
A regretful smile touched his lips. “Cassie—that’s her name, Cassie Wells—wasn’t one to be tied down to standard employment. Her mother’s family was well off—so she lived an unencumbered lifestyle. Worked whenever and wherever it suited her. When I met her, she’d just returned from Peru. Was employed at a sandwich shop across the street from the building where I worked.”
“So that’s how you started…dating?”
“If you could call it that. Mostly hanging out at her studio apartment late at night when I’d get off work. She was bright. High-spirited. Interested in everything around her. A lot like you in that respect.”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to be anything like a woman he’d chosen not to marry.
“Despite her restless nature, she exuded calm. A serenity. An acceptance. She wasn’t demanding. And she provided everything that my life then lacked. I couldn’t believe I was falling for someone who didn’t belong in the world I was fighting my way to get into. But I kept telling myself it would work out.”
“And then?”
He drew in a deep breath. “And then, about three months after we met, I lost my job.”
“The layoffs.”
“That’s what it was disguised as. Buried under. But the truth of the matter is I’d started questioning the company’s business practices. One coworker’s in particular. And just my luck, he was promoted into the vice-presidency position I’d been promised, had been working toward—and he showed me the door.”
“That must have been a blow.”
“Staggering. The rug was jerked out from under me. Everything I’d sacrificed for was wiped out in a moment. I didn’t even see it coming.” He took a ragged breath, meeting her steady gaze with an uncomfortable one of his own. “And that night, when I got to Cassie’s…”
Chapter Sixteen
“One thing led to another,” she said softly.
He lowered his gaze, unable to meet her compassion-filled eyes. He didn’t deserve her sympathy. Her understanding. He deserved to be shown the door. “And when…when morning came, I realized I’d compromised my deepest core beliefs. Carelessly tossed them away.”
“I’m sorry, Rob.”
“No more sorry than I am.” He again eased down onto the sofa beside her. “When I apologized, tried to explain that would never happen again, Cassie laughed. She thought it was amusing that I had what she called a hyperactive moral code. Thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. The more I tried to make her understand, the more she withdrew. She’d already stuck around longer than originally intended, so the relationship probably would have ended then and there, except that—”
“She was pregnant with your child.”
He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. Felt Olivia place a reassuring hand on his back. “As soon as I found out, I asked her to marry me. But she said she didn’t want to be a mom…or a wife.”
He looked at Olivia, sitting so still beside him as he poured out a story she should never have had to hear. “When she said that, I panicked, scared she’d do something stupid to harm our baby. But she believes there’s a God, just hasn’t yet bought into the personal Heavenly Father concept. She’d never destroy life. But she made me promise that no matter wh
at happened between the two of us, I’d keep the baby.”
“And you promised.”
He sat back, his gaze boring into hers. “I can’t tell you how hard I prayed that she’d change her mind. Get over her fear of commitment. Fall in love with me. With Angie. But six weeks after our daughter was born, she took off.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too.” He sucked in a breath. Forced a smile. “So now you know it all, Olivia. The life and times—and downfall—of Robert T. McGuire.”
“It wasn’t your fault she wouldn’t stay.”
“I should have found a way to convince her. I can only conclude she saw something lacking in me, just as Gretchen did in college.”
“You’re wrong. She wouldn’t have left Angie with you if she’d thought that. She felt secure that you’d be a good father.”
“But a lousy husband?” He could almost taste the bitterness of that knowledge.
“I’d say there was more going on than met the eye. Stuff from her past. A troubled young woman.”
“But I prayed, Olivia. Prayed that God would open her heart to me. To Angie. It didn’t happen.”
This time it was Olivia who reached for his hand. Gripped it tightly with both of hers. “God gave her free will the same as he gives it to you and me. She had an opportunity to have a family and she chose not to accept it.” She paused, her uncertain gaze probing. “Are you still praying she’ll come back?”
His jaw tightened. Why did God answer some prayers and not others? And yet, could he and Cassie have made it in a one-sided marriage? With his spiritual reawakening, his desire to settle down in one place to raise a family in direct opposition to everything that was Cassie—could it have been possible?
“She won’t be back. I’ve accepted that now.” He stared down at their hands, his thumb stroking the soft fingers clasped around his. “I’ve forgiven her. Although some days it doesn’t feel like it.”
“Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.”