by Glynna Kaye
She looked away, almost as if ashamed, and he turned his attention to Angie’s mother.
Chapter Twenty-One
Olivia could endure only a fleeting moment of watching from the sidelines as the threesome reunited. Seeing Cassie hold out a tentative hand to the little girl. Watching Angie clutch one of her fingers. Hearing Rob whisper, “Thank you, Cass. I can never thank you enough.”
Biting back a sob, Olivia disappeared around the side of the lodge. Mother. Father. Daughter. It didn’t come as a surprise. She’d known all along that bringing them together could cost her everything she held dear. And although Cassie said she didn’t want her baby, that had only been a confession to divert her father from his intent. A means of throwing her support behind Rob. Presenting a united front.
She hadn’t missed the thankfulness in Rob’s eyes when he took Angie from her arms. Or the sadness. The regret. Of course he’d hate to hurt her. He had a kind and compassionate heart. But God was calling him to a different journey. One they didn’t share.
Olivia all but stumbled beneath the towering ponderosas as she followed the winding, hard-packed dirt trail to the footbridge stretching over the creek. Even in her tumultuous teen years she’d always seemed to end up here. In this quiet place overlooking the tumbling waters.
Of course he’d choose the mother of his child. That was right. Good. The way God intended it to be. She didn’t want to stand in the way of that. In the way of two hearts being healed. Of Angie having a family.
She took a ragged breath and rested her forearms on the bridge railing. Clenched her hands tight.
She couldn’t stay here. Not with Rob managing Singing Rock, which he’d no doubt want to continue doing. He’d already come to love Canyon Springs. Believed God had led him here. Cassie would fall in love with it, too. And there was no more perfect place to raise Angie than this small town in the high country.
Staring up through the pine branches, she marveled at the brilliance of the blue sky overhead. Drank in the faint scent of the water, decaying vegetation, sun-warmed pine. Things she’d loved about Singing Rock since childhood. She thought she’d come home this time. For good. But it wasn’t to be. She blinked back tears, determined not to give in to them.
Why’d her Heavenly Father always seem to bring her into relationships where her most important role was to pray men she cared for through a difficult time, to bring them back to a healthy relationship with God, with others?
But she always ended up alone.
A jay called in the distance. Wind stirred in the limbs overhead. The creek danced merrily among the rocks, its sound soothing her battered soul.
I love you, and you can trust Me.
Tears again pricked her eyes, the gurgling waters blurring. That’s what God said every time her heart was broken. When dreams were dashed. She wanted to trust Him. Each time made every effort to trust Him. Could she do it again?
“And that’s the only reason I can give you for coming to Canyon Springs,” Cassie concluded. “Your God wanted me here. Today. At this hour.”
“He’s your God, too, Cassie.”
She shook her head. “I’m not there yet, Rob.”
“God won’t force Himself on you. But don’t wait too long to let Him in. You never know what tomorrow might bring.”
She took a deep breath, dismissing his comment. “I want you to understand nothing’s changed. It’s not that I don’t care for our daughter. I just don’t—”
“Love her? Love isn’t only a feeling, Cass. It’s a choice, too. A decision.”
“I know it’s hard for you to understand, but maybe in a way I’m doing this because I do love her. The two of you deserve nothing less than a woman who will make a choice to love you wholeheartedly. One who shares your beliefs about God. Who will commit to you. Partner with you. Grow happily old with you.”
“Cass—”
“You know I’m not that person. Never was. But I believe there’s someone in your life who is.”
His mind flashed to where his heart dwelled. “Olivia.”
She nodded. “She loves you, Rob. I’m sure of it.”
He drew a weary breath. “How can she love a man she can’t trust?”
“What makes you think she doesn’t trust you?”
“When your parents spouted off ugly lies about me, she doubted what I’d told her about how I came to have Angie. Insisted that I find you, as if only you could be believed. Not me.”
Cassie glared at him in exasperation. “For such a bright guy, you’re so wrong. When she found me, she accused me of lying to my parents. Demanded to know why I’d want to harm you. Demanded that I set things straight. I saw no evidence that she thought there might be a truth contrary to what you’d told her.”
His heart lightened. A little.
“You’re not saying this, are you, to justify yourself, to give you an excuse to walk away from Angie again?”
“Gus is waiting for me and that, for now, is where I belong. He’s older. Has grown kids and doesn’t want any more. I can contribute to his happiness, his well-being, in ways I would never be able to do for you or your daughter.”
Her words rang true. Cassie would never make that kind of commitment to him. To Angie. He’d known that from the beginning.
They stood staring at each other. Two strangers. No more than the shallowest of acquaintances. Their only common bond held securely in his arms.
Heart heavy, he looked at the now-dozing Angie. “So what do I tell her? Do you want a part in her life? Of any kind?”
Cassie glanced away, as if she already knew he wouldn’t like what she had to say. “I don’t want her forming fantasies about her absentee birth mother. I can’t parent her, not even from a distance.”
“Cassie—”
“As she grows older, if she wants to contact me, wants to see me, I’m open to that. But she’ll get hurt, Rob. I will hurt her, however unintentionally. That’s why she needs you—and Olivia. A real dad. A real mom.”
She gave Angie’s tiny hand a gentle squeeze, then stepped back. “Look, I’ve got to get going. Already told Gus to start packing so we can leave as soon as I get back.”
“Cass—”
“Let it go, Rob.” Her gentle smile encouraged. “Your God has blessed you with a beautiful little girl in spite of our shortcomings. Be thankful for that if for nothing else.”
“I thank Him for Angie every single day. And I won’t stop praying you’ll come to know Him in a personal way, too.”
“Who knows?” She shrugged, the corners of her mouth lifting. “You know I never say never.”
“Don’t be flippant about this, Cass.”
“Then I wouldn’t be me, now would I?”
She spun away as without a care in the world, her skirt swirling, then trotted down the porch steps.
“There’s someone in your life who is.”
If only that were true.
He watched as Cassie rounded the corner of the lodge. Heard her car start up. Saw her drive away. Now what, Lord?
“Daddy?” Angie rubbed at her eyes, trying to wake up.
“Yeah, sweetie?”
“Where’s Libbia?”
“Do you want me to find her?”
She nodded.
“Then let’s see if you can stay with Brett while I find her. Okay?”
“’kay.”
Moments later, when he deposited Angie in the arms of the surprised cowboy, he promised an explanation later. From the grab Angie made at his Western hat, they’d be buddies in no time.
He hadn’t heard Olivia’s car start up, hadn’t seen it pull out. Hadn’t seen her walk over to her folks’ place across the way. She had to be nearby. Maybe down by the creek, a pla
ce she’d once told him was one of her favorite retreats.
He eagerly hurried in that direction, down the trail and through the trees. But as he neared, heard the rush of water, his footsteps slowed.
They were to have had dinner together tonight at her request. He’d planned to tell her he loved her. Fill her arms with roses and promise her his heart. But now? What would he say when he found her? Dare he speak words of love? Would she tell him that meeting Cassie, an in-the-flesh reminder of the one-time relationship that brought Angie into the world, had changed things between them?
He couldn’t blame her.
He’d let her down. She deserved better.
How can you expect God to bless your future if you won’t turn loose of your past?
Her words echoed through his mind, mingling with the sweet sound of birdsong and the waters of the nearby creek. He drew in a steadying breath as he glimpsed her between the trees, through the autumn-bright underbrush. Standing on the footbridge, arms folded on the railing, she stared down at the water.
She’d gotten on his case about not accepting God’s gift of forgiveness. Intimated that he was implying God was a liar. She’d been right. Instead of reaching out an open hand to receive what God offered, for years he’d clenched it tight. Felt somehow—some way—that over time he’d be able to make up for his poor choices. Earn forgiveness. Finally feel he deserved it.
But forgiveness was a gift accepted through faith. Not a faith that earned it, but a faith that received it.
He couldn’t earn Olivia’s forgiveness, either. Would never be worthy of it. But would she give it to him freely even after coming face-to-face with the partner with whom he’d brought Angie into the world?
“Rob?”
She’d spied him. Was looking directly at him. Despite a gentle smile, she appeared troubled. Resigned. One look told him that what she had to say to him wouldn’t be what he’d clung to in those flashing moments of hope. Forgiveness didn’t mean there wouldn’t be consequences for his wrong choices.
He slowly made his way down to the bridge, crunching the layered brown pine needles under his trudging feet. Footfalls echoing hollowly on the wooden slats, he joined her at the railing midway across the bridge.
“I’d hoped things would turn out differently,” she blurted before he could bring himself to speak. “But having met Cassie…”
“I’m sorry, Olivia. So very sorry.”
She didn’t look at him. “Please don’t apologize. I knew this could happen when I went looking for her. But I had to risk it, Rob. I hope you can understand that.”
“Unfortunately, I do.” He gripped the railing, willing himself to keep his tumbling emotions in check. Keep himself from gathering her into his arms and begging her to reconsider.
What were her plans now? As much as he believed God had led him here, as much as he wanted to raise Angie in Canyon Springs, he’d relinquish Singing Rock’s management to Olivia. Move on. That’s the least he could do.
“Looks like I’ll be seeing the Holy Land soon,” she said quietly. “I’ve always dreamed of that.”
“You don’t have to leave because of me. This is your home—and your opportunity to run the property.”
“No. My folks will want to keep you in that role. I’m certain of that. Canyon Springs is an ideal setting for your fresh start. To form a real family with Angie—and Cassie.”
He frowned. Had he missed something here?
“Cassie’s not a part of the equation, Olivia. I thought I’d been clear about that from the beginning. I thought you understood.”
“But I thought—I thought you’d come down here to—” She stared at him in confusion.
Had she thought he’d searched her out to tell her he and Cassie were now a couple? He tamped down the hope stirring in his heart. Even without Cassie in the picture, Olivia’s own feelings toward him may have altered after encountering the woman from his past.
“As expected, she waved goodbye and hit the road.”
“So the two of you, you’re not—?”
“Nothing’s changed between Cassie and me. She has someone else in her life. Wants no part of me. Wants little to do with Angie.”
Dare he say it? Lay it out for her to accept—or reject?
“Olivia…” He reached for her hand. Her soft, gentle hand. His thumb brushed against it as he gazed at her, his every hope and dream no doubt laid bare in his eyes. “My heart, my life, are still available—if yours is.”
A look of hesitant wonder filled her dark eyes.
“I love you, Olivia.”
Her soft gasp signaled surprise—but not opposition. Encouraged, he reached for her other hand, as well. “I think you’ve come to care for me, too. But I’ll understand if, because of my past, you can’t return that love.”
He braced himself as a trembling smile formed on her lips.
“Oh, but I do.”
He stared, dumbfounded. “You do?”
Her grasp tightened on his hands. “I love you, Rob McGuire. I think I’ve loved you ever since we were in college.”
“But I’m not the man you thought I was then. I blew it, Olivia. Big-time.”
She tugged him closer, desperation to be understood reflecting in her eyes. “Don’t you see, Rob? I’m no longer in love with a figment of my imagination. I love the you that you are now. Today. This very minute.”
Could that be true?
“The man I am today?” A smiled tugged as he pulled a hand free to cup her sweet face. Searched the depths of her eyes. “A man complete with emotional scars and bruises and ugly stitch marks?”
“The whole package.”
She loved him. Not the man she once thought he was. But him. A fierce joy pounded through his veins. He started to scoop her into his arms when a thought struck him. He grimaced.
Her eyes flickered. “What?”
“The roses.” He let out an exasperated puff of breath. “They’re in the refrigerator.”
She looked at him in bewilderment. “What are you talking about?”
“Roses. And I was supposed to—” he chuckled and motioned to his work boots and jeans “—clean up. Dress up. I bought a dozen red roses. For tonight. For when I did this.”
Dropping to one knee before an astonished Olivia, he gazed into her beautiful face.
“I love you with all my heart. And I thank God for creating you and bringing you into my life.” He drew in a strengthening breath. “I don’t have a ring yet. My sisters will kill me. But will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
For a long moment she stared at him, eyes filled with disbelief. Maybe he’d sprung this on her too quickly? Should have let her get used to the “L” word first. Given her time to grow into the idea of what the next logical step might be.
“Or maybe do me the honor—” he added quickly “—of thinking about it? Praying about it?”
A radiance filled her eyes. Laughter bubbled. “Oh, you big silly! Of course I’ll marry you. I will! I will!”
She squealed. Did an in-place happy dance—so typical of Olivia—then pulled him to his feet. Fell into his arms…as if she’d always belonged there.
Epilogue
“A December wedding? Are you kidding me?” Reyna let out a yelp that echoed through the sanctuary of Canyon Springs Christian Church as the last of the congregation filed out following Sunday’s service. She looped her arm through that of her bearded husband. “Is there a conspiracy to keep me from seeing my pastor hubby that whole month?”
“It’s economical,” Paulette said, nodding with a smiling approval that warmed Olivia’s heart. “The church will be decorated for the season, right? Tree. Poinsettias. Twinkle lights. I think they’re showing common sense.”
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br /> “Wow. I hadn’t thought of that.” With a laugh, Olivia slipped her arm around Rob’s waist, gazing into his smiling eyes in wonder. Astonished that God had transformed her college dream guy into a flesh-and-blood man who loved her. Who wanted to marry her.
“Cost-effectiveness? Whatever happened to romance?” Reyna shook her head sadly. “That must be what Trey and Kara are thinking, too. And Sandi and Bryce. I didn’t know we had so many cheapos in our midst.”
“Not cheapos,” their oldest sister admonished. “Good stewards.”
Olivia’s father, standing behind her beaming mother, leaned around his wife, his low voice a stage whisper. “And as one who’s played the traditional role of father of the bride—already footing the bill for three of the five—I don’t want it getting around town that I put that idea in her head.”
The extended Diaz family joined in the laughter. It was great to have Mom and Dad back. To see Brandi by her own mother’s side, body language relaxed and reflecting the acceptance tentatively growing between them.
Rob took Olivia’s hand. “Ready to pick up Angie? Hate to keep the Sunday School teachers waiting. We need to let them get home to their own families.”
She gazed around the auditorium of the stone building, envisioning a winter evening a few months from now. Soft candlelight. Christmas hymns. Snow flurries dancing outside the windows. Herself in a simple white gown. Rob—and Angie—at her side. She squeezed her fiancé’s strong hand and smiled up at him. “Ready when you are.”
Side by side they headed under the covered walkway to the adjacent classroom building.
“Mom and Dad are looking good, aren’t they? So relaxed. And that’s because of you, Rob. They’d never taken an extended time off like that before. Never would have done it if they hadn’t put enormous trust in you.”
“I think they were taken aback last night when they got home and heard our news.”