I couldn’t argue that.
“My mother was a hero,” he declared.
Gods, he was killing me.
“My love,” I whispered.
“The way she fought to stay with us, Judy was a hero too.”
Standing in front of him whole, I still felt like I was bleeding.
“That being a hero, Franka, who would want to be a fuckin’ hero?” he demanded.
“You were a wee babe when you were born, darling. You couldn’t have saved your mother.”
His head twitched in disgust. “You think that makes it easier?”
I persevered. “And you were still but a boy even if that boy was growing to a man, and certain illnesses can bring low the greatest of warriors, as evidenced through your Judy.”
“And you think that makes that easier?”
“What I think is you hold guilt for things that were beyond your control.”
“No shit?” he asked sarcastically. “Became a cop because I wanted to save the world seein’ as I couldn’t save my mom. I couldn’t save Judy. Fuck, I actually helped save a goddamned world. It didn’t help. I could lift a gun and shoot that fuckin’ bitch of a witch and help save countless lives. But I was totally helpless, in Judy’s case forced to sit back and actually watch, completely unable to do fuck all to save either one of them.”
I stared right into his eyes, right into the heart of his anguish, and finally understood.
And what I understood gave me rapture.
“So you hold on to your midnight soul and refuse to let it go.”
“It’s got hold of me, Franka, and there’s no way to escape it.”
“Good,” I whispered.
His chin jerked into his neck and he did one of his slow blinks.
“Midnight is beautiful,” I told him. “And it’s at its most beautiful in you.”
I watched his body lock.
“Oh but the gods do so love me,” I shared softly. “To give me a man who would allow his soul to be taken over by the darkness of night, for he’s a man who loves so deeply, he lost those who had his love, was cast into the shadows, and he refuses to crawl to the light.”
I stopped speaking and Noc said nothing. He just stared at me, and I saw the cords of his throat convulse with his swallow.
Then he dropped his head.
I moved forward quickly.
Getting close, fitting my front to his, I lifted both my hands to his cheeks and peered up at him, bearing the agony in his face, now understanding what he was hiding behind his closed eyes.
And relishing the honor it was to have both.
He stood, not touching me, not speaking.
I stood, holding his beauty in my hands, and I did this silently.
This lasted an eternity.
Then he whispered, “I fuckin’ hate this goddamned anniversary.”
Finally.
I had not seen his pain weeks ago simply because I’d had reason to look more closely.
I’d seen his pain because now was the time when it forced itself to the surface.
“You miss her,” I whispered back.
He opened his eyes.
I saw the wet gleam and I was honored to have that too.
“Yeah, sweetheart, every fuckin’ day.”
I slid my thumb along his cheekbone. “I love you for that.”
He closed his eyes, drew breath in through his nose, and when he opened them again, contrition shifted into his gaze.
He lifted one hand to my jaw and returned my gesture. “Been a fuckin’ dick.”
I shook my head but said, “It’s my joy to take every part of you.”
He shook his head in return, his lips twitching. “My Frannie. Should’ve known. She takes the good but she’s always been better at takin’ the bad.”
“Indeed.”
All of a sudden, my arms were forced to circle his shoulders when his hand disappeared from my jaw. He caught me up in a tight embrace and buried his face in my neck.
“Love you, baby,” he declared there.
“And I you.”
He pressed his face deeper in my neck and his voice was gruff when he went on, “She would have loved you too.”
I closed my eyes at more rapture.
But I said nothing.
I just held on to my love.
And I basked in the beauty of midnight.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Never Far
Franka
Noc had chosen the place.
He’d also chosen the time.
We walked there together in the moonlight.
When we got to the spot he wished to be, standing amongst the shadows of trees dripping their moss gracefully, he turned me in his arms and bent his neck to touch his lips to mine. After, he tucked my cheek to his chest and rested his on top of my head.
I had one arm around his back but the other hand I rested on his biceps.
I did this for two reasons.
One was to touch him, obviously.
The other so I’d know when it was time.
We remained in each other’s arms as the minutes on my watch ticked by.
And I watched through the moonlight as the second hand warned me the time was nigh.
Only then did I step slightly from Noc’s embrace.
Keeping hold of him with my arm around him, I swept my other down then up in a wide arc.
And from my fingers, a flock of doves flew, their gossamer wings glittering among moonbeams, the tips of their feathers trailing delicate shimmers that dropped in an exquisite fade to the earth.
They flew direct toward the waning quarter moon and disappeared in its light.
It was midnight.
My favorite time of day.
And it was the anniversary of Judy’s death.
When the least I could do was make doves fly.
My gaze turned to Noc to see him staring into the sky where the doves had disappeared.
I gave him a moment to spend with Judy.
Then I whispered, “It’s time to go home, my love.”
His eyes drifted down to me.
I saw pain that would never fade.
As it should be.
But I also saw peace.
“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s time to go home.”
Holding hands, we made our way to his car, leaving moonlight and magic behind.
However, Judy stayed with us, for I was certain no matter what day it was, or what time, the love Noc had for her, the love she’d earned, she was never far.
Epilogue
Every Way Love Can Be
Franka
“I would say that’s a job well done,” Valentine noted.
We stood, Valentine, Lavinia and I, on the pavement across from the restaurant where the maintenance man and the woman who’d loved him from afar, the woman who had loved him so much she scrimped and saved to buy his love for her in return, were sitting at a table at the window eating hamburgers.
Their first date.
I was aghast.
Surely, my magic said more than hamburgers for a first date.
“I find this highly disturbing,” Lavinia murmured.
I did as well.
I mean, hamburgers?
Valentine and I turned our attention to her.
She shifted her eyes from the couple to us. “All the beauty you can make with your magic, you use it to meddle in people’s lives?”
“We give them what they want,” Valentine replied.
“And that man,” Lavinia gestured to the restaurant across the street, “did he want her?”
“He does now,” I shared the obvious.
Lavinia rolled her eyes skyward.
Even though we’d just started, Valentine made it known that she was quite done talking about this.
“We’ve a booking at Arnaud’s in half an hour. Noc, Dax and Circe are meeting us there. We must be going.”
Lavinia sighed and we all moved to where Valentine had parked he
r car.
“These conveyances, I cannot get used to them,” the other-world witch muttered as we did.
“I felt the same,” I shared. “As you seem to enjoy spending time in this world, we’ll teach you how to drive. Trust me, it’ll make it better.”
Lavinia cast horrified eyes to me.
I smiled a small smile.
The car made a noise while its lights flashed, telling us the doors were open.
Valentine headed to the driver’s side speaking.
“That job complete, having been away, I have many lined up, Franka,” she said to me. “Are you ready for your next?”
This one was hardly a challenge.
And it ended in hamburgers.
I was very much ready for my next.
“Of course,” I replied to her over the roof of the car. “Do you have one in mind?”
“Yes,” she stated.
I studied her face and the look on it made a thrill gather at the small of my back.
“Your next client seeks revenge,” she whispered.
I held her eyes, and at her words, my smile was still small.
But it spoke volumes.
* * * * *
Korwahk
“Stop drooling, sugarlips.”
“Mm?”
“Babe.”
“Yes?”
A shaking “Frannie,” mingled with an arm tightening around my shoulders, curling me to Noc’s front meant I was forced to tear my eyes from the Korwahk warrior.
Oh so many moons ago, I’d briefly met him back in Fyngaard, although after the troubles he’d quickly been away home.
He was one of Lahn’s most trusted lieutenants.
His name was Zahnin.
And his ferocity of appearance was a match for Lahn’s. I’d found him most frightening, and as lovely as many things on him were to look at, at the time I did not admit to the relief I felt when I heard he was gone.
But now, here, in his homeland in its capital city of Korwahn, standing on its Majestic Rim, awaiting the ceremony that was soon to commence, he was with his wife.
And his children.
Before Noc pulled me away, I’d been watching the little boy crawling up his long, stout leg while Zahnin was tickling, squeezing and throwing up in the air his baby girl, catching her as she giggled uncontrollably. And she kept doing so while he blew kisses into her neck.
Then, easily tucking her in his long, strong arm, he’d bent to haul up his toddler son, the boy going up shrieking his glee, and the warrior juggled them both against the large expanse of his bare, brown-skinned, painted chest, to their abandoned delight.
Through all this, his exceedingly pretty Fleuridian wife, Sabine, stood pressed close to his side, both her arms wrapped around his middle, and looked on with unconcealed adoration.
Of her children, of course.
But mostly her husband.
I could understand this.
His smile was white and wide, transforming his face.
There was no fierceness there, not now.
Only love and happiness.
Something that veritably beamed from him when he’d finally turned his attention from their children and gazed with open and frank devotion at his wife.
Right then, I looked up to Noc and saw no fierceness either.
His smile was white and wide but it didn’t transform his face.
My Noc always showed me his love and the happiness I gave him.
And the devotion he gave to me.
Thus I melted into his body.
“Would be jealous you’re pervin’ on that guy if you didn’t wake up happy to be back in your world and feelin’ the need to go down on me,” he noted.
I frowned.
Noc kept smiling. “You told me a year ago that I’d be in an adobe house that had running water only because it was fed direct from a river, that house in a parallel universe, waking up in that place to get the best blowjob of my life, I’d be intrigued, but I’d think you were crazy.”
“This is hardly the topic for discussion on a day like today,” I snapped. “Circe and Lahn haven’t invited us here for you to be rude.”
He dipped his face closer to mine, still smiling. “Babe, first, no one understands a fuckin’ thing I’m sayin’ seein’ as no one speaks English. And second, you think there aren’t gonna be a lotta blowjobs goin’ around today, you’re very wrong. Weddings make people horny.”
Well!
“That may be so but you don’t discuss it moments before the joyous festivities begin.” I admonished. “Regardless if people don’t understand you, that wolfish look on your face speaks volumes.”
His wolfish look got even more wolfish (which I had to admit, though not to Noc, was most attractive). “If they had airplanes here, I’d hire one to skywrite how good my woman is at giving head.”
Although I was most pleased I could pleasure him so thoroughly in this way, I batted his chest.
He started chuckling.
At that moment, a hush fell over the crowd.
Noc lifted his head and we both turned our attention to the colossal lip of sand-colored rock that jutted out over the city of Korwahn creating its Majestic Rim.
There we saw Korwahk’s Dax Lahn, his chest and back painted in blacks and golds, striding to the clearing before us where his throne and that of his queen were sitting.
The Golden Queen Circe was at his side, in extraordinary regalia, including a band of glittering golden feathers around her forehead.
And loping next to her like a trusted pet (something I’d found last night when we’d arrived and I was introduced to it that it was) was a large, grand white tiger.
Following them, under a drooping shade of golden silk, was a young couple, the pretty, plump woman beaming happily, the lean, tall man at her side looking serious.
The shade was held up on four poles by four young women, all practically skipping in their excitement.
Coming up the rear was a regiment of Korwahk warriors, all wearing black and gold paint.
Just off to the side of the clearing, Lahn and Circe’s three children were being looked after by Circe’s friends, Narinda and Nahka (women I’d also met last night), who had their own children with them, this large brood easily managed considering Narinda’s husband, Feetak, and Nahka’s husband, Bohtan, were keeping a stern eye on the crew.
Circe and Lahn made it to their thrones just as Diandra, Circe’s best friend, a kind and exceedingly attractive Valerian woman (which meant she spoke Noc and my language), sidled up next to us.
I looked to her and returned her smile before my gaze shifted back to the rim to see Circe seated in her throne made of white horns.
The honor guard had lined up behind her.
Lahn’s throne, made of massive black horns, was empty for he did not seat himself. He stood, hands on hide-covered hips, looking like he was scowling down at the couple who were now situated in front of their king and queen, facing each other, the four women still holding the shade over them.
“Iykoo!” Lahn boomed.
“Kneel,” Diandra whispered in translation.
I at once had the urge to kneel, but as the throng around us did not, I stayed where I was, in the curve of Noc’s arm, and watched Jacanda, Circe’s trusted slave girl, kneel across from her soon-to-be-husband, Derahn.
The instant they settled on their knees, a collective gasp came from the crowd as a shower of flower petals in the colors of yellow, orange and deep pink fell from the underside of the awning held over them, raining down on the couple below.
Feeling my lips quirk, knowing that was the queen’s magic, I looked from the couple to Circe, seeing her mouth curved up in a soft, indulgent smile, her eyes glued on her slave who was also her friend.
And I noted it again.
Since arriving the day before, I realized in her home, she was the Circe I knew. My friend. A woman from my new world living in a savage land in my old, a woman who was giving and amusing and kind
.
But when she walked out of her home, she was the Golden Warrior Queen of Korwahk.
It was her way that this distinction was rather vague.
But it was nevertheless unmistakable.
Now she was queen.
And she was a sight to behold.
Even so, I tore my gaze from her to another sight that was always one to behold and saw her husband, his torso twisted so he could look at his wife.
When he turned back to the couple, he was shaking his head but doing it quite clearly fighting a smile.
Lahn was not one for flower petals.
But he liked that his wife was.
He became serious again when he looked to the subjects kneeled before him.
Then he opened his mouth and started speaking.
Diandra translated as he did.
“Today, the slave Derahn takes to wife my queen’s servant, Jacanda. Today, he gives his oath that he is now her possession. She owns his body. She owns his spirit. She owns his seed. And today, the queen’s trusted servant Jacanda gives her oath that she is now Derahn’s possession. He owns her body. He owns her spirit. He owns her womb. They will take no other until death. They will be owned by no other until death. Derahn will sow children into Jacanda and he will offer protection and guidance to the family he creates until his final breath. Jacanda will deliver him these children and offer nurture and care to them and Derahn until her final breath.”
As Lahn paused, there seemed a stirring of the warriors both behind Circe and Lahn’s thrones as well as those painted for the ceremonial day who were standing amongst the crowd (including, I noted with a sidelong glance, Zahnin, who had transferred his children to his wife, and was now looking much more alert and back to fierce).
My gaze returned to Lahn as he spoke again.
“And they will do this as free man and woman…”
The stirring around us increased as Noc’s hold on me tightened because this stirring was not only of the warriors, but also the entirety of the crowd.
Lahn spoke through it, I had no doubt noting the feel of the gathering, but ignoring it entirely.
“Owned from now to their death by no merchant, no man, no warrior. Owned only by each other. This is my decree. This is the decree of my golden queen. And this will be done. As their oath is now done and they are man and wife to each other from this day until they burn on their pyres.”
Midnight Soul (Fantasyland #5) Page 56