by Lindsey Iler
It has everything to do with the girl who whistles between her teeth every few minutes while she’s asleep.
When I wake up, every muscle in my body screams in agony, reminding me of the events last night.
I roll over at the sound of Graham’s light breathing. He stirs when I shift closer to him. Of their own accord, my fingers trace the worry lines on his face. Even in his sleep, he appears tense. When I graze his bottom lip, those lines disappear, and his eyes spring open. He grabs my hand, halting my perusal.
“Bad dream?” I ask.
“This morning is a bad dream,” he answers, kissing my fingertips, taking extra care of each of them. The gesture is tender.
“Make me a promise.” I rest my head on his chest. My middle finger traces small circles on his abs.
“Anything you want, you can have.” He drops a kiss on the crown of my head.
We fall silent, letting the morning reality settle into our bones.
“Okay, two things.” I gaze up at him. “First is, you can’t give in to everything I say. I love the boy who challenged and fought me at every chance he found.”
“You mean you don’t want the sweet version of me?” Graham props up on his elbows.
“I think you have room to be both.” A smirk plays on my lips.
“Okay, I can find it in me to fight with you, but what’s the second promise?”
“It’s actually for both of us. We promise to see each other as much as possible.”
“Easy enough.” He places a chaste kiss on my lips.
Sliding my legs over the side of the bed, I get to my feet and snatch pants and a plain t-shirt from my open suitcase. A glance at Graham, in nothing but his black boxer briefs and a grin, has me biting the inside of my cheek. The changes in him surprise me. His hair is a little longer, but not obnoxious in length, and he seems calmer and more mature. But his body is the most drastic of his transformations. Clearly, he’d been something to look at in high school, but now, his attributes are magnified, making him hard to look away from.
“Find something you enjoy, Kennedy?” Graham’s voice breaks my eyes away from his gorgeous body.
“Do you want to shower with me?” I blurt without thinking and giggle when he freezes. His head tilts in question, so I wave an easygoing hand at him. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”
He’s out of bed and steering me backward by the hips so fast, I’m in the bathroom before I can blink. Guess I have his answer. Within seconds, our clothes are on the floor, and we’re hidden in a perfect world under the warm spray.
Our eyes lock as he lathers my hair and washes my body. The simple gesture seems more intimate than what he did to me yesterday. I smile every time he does. He’s contagious. After he rinses me, I run a washcloth over every inch of him. He swallows hard when my hand wraps around his dick.
“Kennedy,” a muffled voice yells from the other side of the door. It swings open and bangs against the wall. “Kennedy, breakfast is ready, then we’ve got to hit the road.”
“I’ll … be out in a mi-minute,” I stutter, peeking out the shower curtain. “You can go now.”
“Before I go, how was it last night? Like riding a bike, right? Just got to get back on when you fall off. Was he gentle or hard? Did he make you come?” Amanda rattles off the series of questions.
My eyes widen with each one, making me release my awkward hold on Graham.
“Hi, Amanda,” Graham says, revealing his presence.
“Oooohhh.” She smirks and winks at me. I hide behind the shield of the curtain. “Well, did you?” she asks.
Graham laughs, and I smack his chest, poking a finger into the curtain.
“Don’t entertain her, Graham. Amanda, we’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“He totally fucked the shit out of you,” Amanda murmurs as she closes the door behind her.
“I blame you, you know, for bringing that monster into my life,” I joke, turning the nozzle.
Graham wraps a towel around my shoulders, rubbing his hands over the cotton to warm my rapidly cooling skin.
Next time, I’m coming alone.
“Next time, you should come alone,” Graham says my exact thought.
“Deal.”
Back in the room, Graham slips on a pair of gray sweatpants –sans boxer briefs, which earns an approving smile from me– and a long sleeve UConn baseball shirt. His gaze rakes my legs, over my stomach, and stops at my lips. When his eyes engulf me, Graham makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. If I’m being honest, I don’t ever want to let go of the feeling he creates in me.
*****
“Something smells delicious.” Hand-in-hand, Graham and I walk into the kitchen.
Rick flips and tosses his famous omelet mixture in the air, and everyone waits patiently for theirs.
“Where’s Griffin and Sandy?” Bea asks.
No one has seen them since they left during our game of Truth or Dare.
“Texted this morning. Won’t be back until this afternoon. Sandy wanted me to tell you girls that she looks forward to seeing you again,” Mark explains. He twists the ends of Bea’s hair in his fingers, aimlessly focusing on her and only her. She giggles when he whispers something in her ear. My heart soars for them.
When Rick slides a plate down to me, I give him a broad smile, which he returns tenfold. My fork dips into the fluffy egg, and I moan after the first bite.
Graham leans over and slides his hand down my spine. “Do you think you could stop making that noise?”
I grin and take another bite. Another over-exaggerated moan escapes my lip, and then I smirk. Graham’s eyes widen.
“You made the same sound in the shower when I had my head between your legs and my tongue–”
I cut him off, narrowing my eyes in the direction of our friends. “Enough.”
“You going to stop making that noise, or do I need to tell everyone how you writhed above me in the shower?”
His threat has red crawling up my cheeks.
When he tries to steal a bite of my omelet, I knock his fork away from my plate. His may be empty, but Rick’s food is too good to share.
“Seriously, don’t touch my food.” Graham’s hand ducks under the table, cupping me between my legs. The heat of his touch intoxicates me, and my eyes flutter until I remember we aren’t alone. “Are you going to behave yourself?” I squeeze his fingers and push him away.
“I can’t help myself. You look sexy as hell,” Graham whispers against my collarbone.
“I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt,” I deadpan, taking another bite of my omelet.
“But the way the shirt dips low enough so the top of your black bra pops out,” Graham opens his mouth and I feed him a bite of my omelet, “and the way the jeans hug your hips and ass? Absolute perfection.”
“Ugh, seriously? Is this how it was in high school for you all?” Rick’s loud, exuberant voice drags us away from each other.
I scan the kitchen. Mark plays with the food on his plate, while Bea stares at us in appreciation. Dan nods, too busy devouring the last few bites of his omelet to speak. Violet and Amanda sling playful insults I can’t quite understand, but I lose interest when Graham’s lips tease the nape of my neck.
“It’s good to see you happy, man.” Rick rocks Graham back and forth by the shoulders and smiles at me. “I think I have you to thank for this.”
“I sure hope so.” I smile back at him. “And about yesterday, Rick …”
His hands fly up to stop me. “Don’t even think about it. You don’t owe me a damn thing, Kennedy.” His arms wrap around my shoulders, and he kisses me on my temple and whispers inappropriate promises in my ear. Graham growls but takes the joke in good nature. Rick thinks of Graham as a brother. I’m happy to know he’s found a family here in Connecticut.
After loading the car, everyone gathers on the sidewalk. With the inevitable bearing down on us, Mark breaks the weird silence by hugging each of us and pulling Bea
behind the car to engage in a hot and heavy make-out session. Violet and Amanda hug Graham before piling into the car. After a few bro-like high fives, Dan jumps behind the steering wheel.
Graham scuffs his feet on the cement, his eyes on the leaves blowing across the ground. I wrap my arms around his waist and take in a deep breath, memorizing his heady scent.
“I’m not going to say goodbye,” I whisper into his chest.
Graham cups my cheeks between his hands and delivers a life-altering kiss. My knees buckle, and my leg pops up as if I’m in a romantic movie in the sixties.
“Good, because neither am I.” He helps me into the backseat. “Call me as soon as you get home?”
I nod and roll down the window as he closes the door behind me. We holler our goodbyes, and Dan pulls onto the road. My head presses against the cool glass and tears fill my eyes. Houses swish past the window, but I don’t recognize where we are until we turn the corner and travel a few blocks. A young boy walking down the road catches my attention. The brown, curly mop on his head reminds me of Ben. It’s too cold for a little boy to be walking around without a coat.
“Slow down,” I yell. “Dan, I need you to slow down.”
As he does, we pass the boy. It’s Ben’s familiar face, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Stop the car, Dan. Let me out. NOW,” I shout, frantic to get to him.
Despite Violet’s protests, Dan does as I say.
“Ben,” I shout. He searches the area until his eyes fall on me. “What are you doing out here?”
“I … umm …” he whispers. A whimper escapes as he brushes his hands up and down his arms.
“Ben, get in the car. It’s too cold to be walking without a coat. Does Betty know where you’re at?” He climbs into the backseat, and my friends stare at me with questions in their eyes. “Were you going to find Graham?” He nods, and I wrap my arm around him, rubbing his chilled arms to warm him. “Dan, turn around and take us back.” I look down at Ben. “It’s okay. We’ll go to Graham.”
When we pull up in front of the house, I instruct Dan to head back to the city. Something tells me to stay, even when Amanda argues. Bea offers to cover my shift if I don’t make it back by morning. I hug each of them and usher Ben into the house.
Rick greets us at the door, his eyes wide when he takes in the little boy in front of me. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the road or something?”
“I found a hitchhiker. Now, where’s Graham?” My eyes scan the open space for Graham.
“Graham!” Rick shouts up the stairs. “Who’s he?” he mouths, indicating Ben.
Graham jogs down the stairs, his eyes full of worry when they reach Ben and me. “What the hell is going on?”
“I found Ben walking on the sidewalk without a coat. He’s been crying.” My eyes implore Graham to remember to be gentle.
Ben tugs at the hem of his shirt, his eyes focused on the tiled entryway. “Why’d ya have to tell him I was crying.” He glares up at me, rolling his red eyes.
Graham drops down in front of us, dipping his chin to get Ben’s full attention. “Only real men are comfortable with crying, remember?” Ben nods. “You know I have to call Betty, right?”
Rick’s mouth falls slack at the tenderness Graham displays with Ben as he leads him into the living room. “I’ll leave you three to it.” Rick walks backward, practically vanishing into thin air.
“You going to explain this to me, kiddo?” Graham asks, shifting his leg up on the couch. The sweet way he interacts with Ben is endearing and only makes me love him more.
“Andrew cornered me in the bathroom.”
“Did he hurt you?” Graham snarls. True fear radiates from him.
“Maybe you should let him finish, babe.” I stroke his arm to bring him back down to earth.
“He didn’t hurt me. He said no one loved me. Even my own momma and daddy, because if they did, I wouldn’t be living there. And … and …” His breath catches and the hurt on Ben’s face makes my heart ache.
“And what?” Graham’s eyes water.
“He says the only reason you spend time with me is because you feel sorry for me.”
“Bud, Andrew’s an asshole.” Graham ruffles Ben’s hair.
“Graham,” I scold. “Watch your language.” I drop my forehead to the top of Ben’s head.
“Don’t listen to what he says, okay? I come around because I love you,” Graham explains as he pulls the trembling boy into his arms.
At his admission, I gasp, and Graham’s eyes focus on me as he holds Ben. The sight melts my heart. We exchange knowing glances before he reaches for his cell phone and calls Betty as I head to the kitchen in search of comfort food.
I search the kitchen cupboards but don’t find what I’m looking for. “What the hell! You have Havarti cheese, but no hot cocoa?”
“I can make hot cocoa.” Rick props his hip against the counter and stares at me.
“I just said you don’t have any.”
“From scratch, for the kid.” His eyes soften, a side of him not many witness behind the broody, sex-on-a-stick facade.
“You’re a good guy.” I hug him and kiss his cheek.
“Don’t fuck up my image, okay? It’s just a cup of cocoa.” Rick wipes his cheek, a disgusted grimace on his face.
“I thought you said you were marrying her? Why’s she kissing him?” Ben frowns at Rick when they step into the kitchen.
“I’m thinking of stealing our girl away from you,” Rick jokes, pouring milk into a small saucepan. He mixes in real cocoa.
Real cocoa. Who has real cocoa?
“Our girl?” Graham smacks him on the back of the head.
“She’s sort of hard to be around, isn’t she?” Rick winks at me. “It’s like having my mother looking over my shoulder, and I’m desperate for her acceptance.” His description makes me giggle.
“He’s crazy.” I loop my finger in a circle around my ear.
“Not once have I thought of Kennedy as a mother figure.” Graham’s gaze sweeps me from toe to head.
Ben laughs when Graham throws him in the air and plops him on a stool. Graham sits next to him.
“Didn’t know if you had an Oedipus complex thing going on.” Rick pours the hot milk into a large mug, tossing a few mini marshmallows on top.
“I’m shocked you know what Oedipus complex is.” I pat Rick on the back, sliding the steaming mug over to Ben.
“I’m not just a pretty face, Kennedy.” He feigns insult. “I know things.”
“Who’s Oedipus?” Ben asks, slurping up the warm drink.
“Nobody you need to worry about.” Rick fluffs his hair, slips him a few chocolate chip cookies, and leaves the kitchen.
I sit on the other side of the island and watch the boys. Ben stares at the two of us with the innocent eyes of a seven-year-old. The back of my finger brushes over his upper lip, wiping away the melted marshmallow. Graham smiles at my small gesture and stands from his stool.
“I’m going to grab you a sweatshirt, kiddo,” he says to Ben. Graham bends down and kisses me on the cheek. “Where’s Dan?”
“I sort of told them to head back to the city without me.” I fidget in my seat.
“I’ll drive you back to the city after we drop Ben off.” He smirks and shakes his head.
*****
I lean against the passenger door, fighting tears and admiring Graham’s dedication to a boy he barely knows. Graham’s huge hand rests on Ben’s frail shoulder as they walk up the steps. He crouches down so they’re eye to eye for a short, intimate conversation. They glance at me. Guess I’m the topic of their conversation.
Ben races back to me, wrapping his scrawny hands around my waist. I run my hand over his head a few times. Bending down, I kiss his crown, and his bright blues shine up at me, filled with unshed tears.
“Thank you,” he whispers. I nod because, if I utter a single word, I’ll break down. I can’t lose it in front of him. “Graham says you’ll come ba
ck.” For only being seven, he’s perceptive. His arms tighten, hugging me close.
Betty walks outside. A look of relief and disbelief mingle in her eyes as she observes our embrace. She and Graham have a few words while I let Ben know I’ll see him soon, and send him inside. I climb into the front seat of Graham’s SUV, my fingers tapping a rapid rhythm on my jeans. I’m not positive what’s happened, but it’s monumental, life changing.
Graham slides behind the steering wheel and shifts into drive. Before he releases the brake, his hand wraps around mine. I stare out the window. Much like my reaction to Ben’s embrace, I’ll break down if I look into Graham’s honey-filled eyes. For the first part of the trip, he gives me the quiet I need to collect my thoughts and process the morning.
“I love him, and you’re the reason why. He reminds me of you.” Graham startles me when he speaks. My mouth gapes open, but no words come out. “He’s strong.”
“Why did Betty look at me like that? Does she hate me or something?” I beg for an answer, afraid of the truth. Betty and Ben have become such a huge part of his life. Her acceptance means everything.
“Ben hasn’t hugged a female since his mom passed away,” Graham explains. “Not even Betty.”
The real truth scares me more than the version I’ve created in my own head, but on the other hand, my heart warms for a little boy I don’t even know. I understand how he’s managed to weasel his way into Graham’s so easily.
“Okay, you know what? Enough of this.” Graham pulls over on the shoulder of the road. “We have two hours together. This weekend has been full of tears and confessions and drama worthy of an angst-ridden, teenage TV show. Instead of all that, let’s have a little fun.”
I laugh because only Graham could demand someone have fun and get away with it. “How do you expect to have fun on the car ride?”
“Let’s play a game.”
“Oh no, the last time I played a game, you got all broody.”
“You were going to make-out with Violet.”
I roll my eyes. “Because you never imagined Violet and me hooking up before?”