by Marie Harte
With only her clothes and some mementos in storage, sadly, Kennedy’s life was all too forgettable. What stopped her from going with Bailey, Alex, and the others? Fear that she’d grow fonder of Alex? Worry that she’d never leave them? Or that she’d have to accept the truth—that she’d never be the same woman again?
The one constant in her life to this point was Charlie. She refused to let her cousin down. She’d go with the Circs to Washington and start from there. With any luck, they’d come up with a way to track her cousin down. Then Kennedy would figure out what to do with her new life. And heck, if Lang made Charlie into a Circ, Kennedy would be able to help her adjust.
Go with pack. Stay with Alex. Yes. Good mate. Strong. Make strong young.
She groaned. What the hell; she’d go with them.
But first, she’d take a bath and relax, something she hadn’t done in what felt like forever. Now if only she could rustle up some bubble bath…
******
Four days later
Alex checked in on Kennedy and found her talking with Bailey in the kitchen. They’d been back home for a few days, and Kennedy had been avoiding him. Though it bothered the hell out of him, he understood. She needed to learn about herself, and Bailey was a good teacher. A woman who radiated kindness and safety.
The pair had become inseparable, which annoyed Gideon, because before Kennedy had arrived, he’d been Bailey’s shadow. Or so Eli and Carter liked to razz him.
Alex rejoined the guys in the gym and went to the free weights, needing to let off some steam.
“Jesus, how much can they be talking about?” Gideon groused. “I always hear them laughing and talking, then I get close, and they shut up. Bailey giggles. That woman doesn’t giggle unless she’s drunk.”
Carter and Eli exchanged a glance.
“Obviously they’re talking about sex,” Carter said. “And more specifically, about you.”
Gideon didn’t seem bothered, because he smiled. “Well, that’s okay then.”
“Not with me.” Alex scowled. “Kennedy’s avoiding me. She can ask me anything she can ask Bailey.”
“Not with your pecker pointing at her anytime she’s in sight,” Eli added, so unhelpfully.
Alex glared. “This is why you don’t have any friends.”
Carter laughed.
“Look, I get that she needs to figure things out. But I’m not here to hurt her.” Hell, his beast wanted nothing more than to make her feel good. The damn thing was pouting because she needed space and his presence wasn’t helping. Or so Bailey had told him.
Of Kennedy he saw little. Alex had his pride, so he didn’t follow her around like a sad puppy, begging for scraps of affection. But he wanted to, and that annoyed him even more. Women typically flocked to him. He’d never had a problem attracting them. He’d been big and muscular before he’d been Circ, and his dark gray eyes and compassionate nature had naturally attracted the opposite sex.
So how was it that he’d had earthshattering orgasms with Kennedy, had held the woman close and let her worm her way into his heart, and she didn’t want him back?
Frustration rode him hard as he exercised, and he worked up a good sweat as he pushed himself to the max.
The others trained on the mats while he brooded, and he half-watched Gideon smash Eli into the ground then work to free himself from Carter’s mighty chokehold. While they wrestled, he pondered the nowhere that had become their investigation into Lang.
Carter had tapped just about every resource he had. Eli had put out his own feelers. Silence. Gideon’s call to the Circs down in North Carolina, with their guy who could see the future, panned more of nothing. The Circ had seen a murky future, where someone did something monumental but nothing was clear.
It aggravated the hell out of him, so much so that Alex didn’t want sex, satisfaction, or even a fight from Gideon or any of the others. Tired, angry, frustrated. His three states of being since running into Kennedy Knight.
And that, there. He couldn’t fault her for any of his feelings. He knew that. And his misplaced sense of blame made it worse.
Pushed to the limit, he set the weights down, worried he might hurt himself if he continued without a break. That’s when he noticed only Gideon remained in the gym with him.
At his questioning look, Gideon nodded toward the double doors. “They needed some air. You’re scaring away all the good vibes in this place and leaving nothing but frustration and irritation behind. That’s what Carter said.”
“Oh? So he’s an empath now?”
Gideon sighed. “That pissy tone isn’t helping. No. He said what the rest of us can sense. You’re unsettled, Alex. We both know this has more to do with Kennedy than—”
“The hell it does. It has to do with a stalled investigation.” He pushed to his feet and left the weight bench. He allowed his beast to look out from his eyes and saw in deeper colors, in flashes of heat and in minute detail.
Taking in the sight of his leader relaxed him a bit, because Gideon radiated home, pack, safety.
Part of Alex’s frustration had to do with Kennedy, he knew. Because of her, he’d been keeping his distance from the others, wanting her touch more than any of his pack. And he didn’t understand why. Shit. They’d barely spent much time together. Except for that marathon fuckfest in the hotel with Eli, he’d barely been alone with her.
And that bothered the hell out of him.
He growled. “Fine. It’s also about Kennedy. Gideon, my beast is driving me insane. It wants her to the exclusion of everything. I can’t think. I can’t eat.”
“You’re a little off.” Gideon agreed. He sat on a bench and watched Alex with piercing green eyes. “I’ve been giving you space, man, but you’re getting out of control. You’re raging deep inside. Whenever we’d have fighters like you in the ring, they’d either decimate anyone who came near them, or they’d leave themselves too open, lost to everything but anger, and end up dying on the mats.”
“I’m not that bad off.”
“Not yet. But if you don’t fix it soon, I will.” Gideon stood. “This thing with Lang goes in cycles. Sometimes we have a hit, sometimes he’s quiet, moving behind the scenes. But we’ll find him,” Gideon promised, his banked fury soothing the animal inside Alex begging to be set free. “I won’t rest until we do. In the meantime, you need to get stronger. And you need to get a handle on your beast before it decides to start handling things for you. Then it’s only a matter of time before you turn into a Myers or Yates yourself.”
Gideon left him to his thoughts.
Alex didn’t like the idea of becoming anything like those pricks who’d killed his sister. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t overcome Katie’s death and move on either. Of course he’d always miss her. He’d loved her. Growing up, it had been him and her against the world.
His parents had never been cruel or unkind, but they hadn’t understood their psychic children, and that vague affection they doled had left its mark on Alex and Katie both. They had understood, even at a young age, that their parents would never recognize, never be able to love them for who they truly were. The Palmers expected cardboard cutouts of what a dutiful child should be, and anything more confused them.
So Alex and Katie had taken refuge in each other, giving their parents the semblance of normalcy they needed while being true to themselves with each other.
Alex had people who saw the real him right now. A pack—a team—of likeminded individuals who wanted love and affection, who craved togetherness, and who could comprehend his wild nature and not back away.
Not like a certain redhead who didn’t care for him as much as he’d thought. As he’d hoped.
Stupid, but he couldn’t help it. In such a brief span of time, he’d fallen for Kennedy, and he didn’t even know her favorite color. What made her laugh or cry. What she liked to do when not running from psycho Circs intent on torturing her.
God, was he crazy or what? Was he that superficial that
a stellar body and gorgeous face was all he needed to fall in love?
While his beast said yes, Alex threw down a hard no. Then he realized the thing was teasing him. It knew Kennedy on another level, a sense of who she was inside. Her scent, her taste, her touch. So much of her had connected with his beast, and the creature didn’t understand why Alex fought it so hard.
Shut up.
He didn’t want understanding right now. He wanted…
Kennedy pushed through the doors of the gym and walked toward him wearing a pair of baggy workout pants and a T-shirt. “Hi, Alex.” She paused and frowned. “Are you okay?”
His heart threatened to hammer out of his chest. “Fine.”
“Oh. You looked…intense. Should I come back later?”
“No. No, it’s fine. Just working off some stress.” He gave her a fake smile, hoping she’d buy his lies. He knew she wouldn’t read his thoughts. She’d been clear on not intruding on anyone’s privacy. He wondered if she’d leave if he stayed and didn’t want to push her. “I can go if you’d rather be alone.” No pressure, not demanding her affection—the fickle creature.
His beast loved that about her. That she made him want, and she made him work.
“Actually, I was hoping you could help me train. Bailey has been showing me some moves, and she’s good. But she said you’re much better at submissive holds. So maybe you could pin me down, and I could try to get free against a strong opponent.” She blushed and confided, “I keep beating Bailey when we wrestle, and I don’t think she likes it.”
“You want me to show you how to get out of a few holds?” Where he’d be forced to be in close contact with the woman? Skin to skin? Breathing in her scent, running his hands over her body?
“Yes.”
To all of it, he’d swear he heard in his mind, but he was so far gone on the poor woman, he had a bad feeling he’d heard what he’d wanted. Because she didn’t smile, flirt, or acknowledge she’d said anything.
He swallowed a sigh. “Sure. Let’s do this.” And hope my pecker pointing at her, as Eli so obnoxiously put it, doesn’t scare her away for good.
Chapter Eleven
KENNEDY DISCREETLY WIPED her sweating palms on her pants. God. She had it bad for sure. Just one look at the man and she wanted to drop her fake confidence and give Alex anything he wanted for one of his smiles. He’d been so stern, so aloof lately.
Gone was the protector who’d held her close, who’d soothed her in her time of need and given her so much passion when she hadn’t expected much from a man but pawing or leering.
Everything she’d felt when in his mind pointed at a man who could be trusted, counted on. A man she’d always dreamed about but had never figured she’d find, because Kennedy had never been lucky when it came to love.
She invariably chose the wrong guy. The sexy gambler who couldn’t hold onto his money. The charming player who cheated on her, or the genuinely nice guy who just couldn’t commit. She’d been burned so many times before, and that had been prior to becoming something other than human.
Then to find Alex, a truly good man, who looked like Adonis come to life, and who made her mind and body sing? Of course he’d been too good to be true. Because after that one amazing night, he’d kept his distance. At first she’d thought he’d been trying to respect her, give her time to make up her mind about her future, which she appreciated. But whenever she drew near him anymore, he backed away. It was like he’d deliberately leave a room if she looked as if she might enter.
Her beast found his behavior fascinating. A game of keep away from her ideal mate, one who would challenge her, never come to heel lightly, and be strong enough to protect her. Kennedy found her beast’s “ideal” appalling. She didn’t want a man who didn’t want her. No matter how strong he might be. But she could no longer keep herself from him, and she was honest enough to admit his distance…hurt.
Bailey had been a treasure about sharing information, but Kennedy knew this situation with Alex had to remain between Kennedy and Alex. Though Bailey had dropped more than a few hints about Alex’s whereabouts, his likes and dislikes, and his temperament under the guise of instructing Kennedy about her new potential pack, Bailey hadn’t needed to force Alex down Kennedy’s throat.
The empath had to know how Kennedy felt—conflicted, hopeful, loving…
She swallowed hard. Alex stared at her as if she’d grown three heads, and she had a feeling she’d made a mistake in trying to force a confrontation. Before she could go, he grabbed her and spun her around, a forearm to her throat, holding her back to his front.
“Okay, I’ve got you. Now what do you do?” he asked in a low voice, his breath a whisper against her ear.
She shivered. “Um, get free?” But I don’t want to. She tugged at his arm, and it was like trying to move a mountain. The heat at her back felt so good, and the masculine scent of him, an earthy vitality, made everything within her sit up and take notice. Would he smell her lust? Know from the way she held her body how much she wanted him?
He gave nothing away behind her, his hold immovable.
“Can you get free?” he asked, and the feel of his lips so close to her ear made her tremble.
“I-I’ll try.” She tugged at his thick forearm, then tried to twist away using the speed and strength of her beast. Perhaps she could impress him with her flexibility.
But unlike Bailey, Alex towered over her. She couldn’t get any leverage on him, and she couldn’t make him budge at all.
Her beast approved, liking the fact that a stronger male covered her. She wanted to bend over the nearest object and wait to be mounted. Sadly, Kennedy wanted the same. Man, she’d really sunk low if the only way to get a man to notice her was by tricking him into giving her self-defense lessons.
He chuckled, and the rumble of his big body vibrated against hers. “That all you got?”
He spun her around and took her down to the mat. Her back hit with a solid thunk, and she needed a moment to catch her breath. Alex had followed her down and covered her before she could think. She could only blink up into his face that loomed way too close for her to ignore.
He frowned. “Are you okay? Hasn’t Bailey taught you how to land yet? That should have been the first thing you guys went over.”
She stared up into his dark gray eyes, loving the way his normally round pupil elongated when he looked at her. Unlike the others, Alex’s human camouflage worked without the contacts the others normally wore to disguise their one tell—the long, thin, Circ pupil. The catlike stare in the rest of them was normally absent from Alex, except when he looked at her.
As he was looking at her now.
She had deliberately stayed out of everyone’s mind since her arrival, not wanting to offend or seem like a threat. Besides, Kennedy didn’t like knowing what others thought of her. She’d rather assume they liked her. If she looked into their minds, she’d know the truth, and she didn’t want to know how uncomfortable she made them. Then she’d have to leave, and she wasn’t ready to yet.
But so close, she read Alex without trying.
Missed you so much. Not a flicker of emotion crossed his face, but she’d heard it, and it was enough.
“Oh, God. I missed you too. We’ll talk later.” Before he could ask the question in his eyes, she dragged his face down and kissed him.
For a moment he remained still, and then she broke through his icy exterior and felt the heat of the beast—and man—who wanted her as desperately as she wanted him.
Alex groaned into her mouth, his hands on each of her wrists, now pinning them above her head while he took charge of the kiss. She felt on the verge of fainting, the pleasure of his touch was so intense. She’d been craving it and hadn’t realized the lack until just now.
Get closer. Her beast growled. Too many clothes. More mate.
But the frenzied sex she could all but taste went nowhere as Alex slowed the kiss, stealing her heart bit by bit. He dragged off her shirt and sliced through he
r bra, his claws coming and going with an ease she hadn’t yet mastered.
Alex didn’t stop there. He made short work of their clothes. But before she could look her fill, he was on her again. She spread her legs wider, letting him seat himself between them, on fire to feel him inside her again.
But the blasted Circ wouldn’t move. He kissed her, the deep, slow thrust of his tongue in and out enough to drive her insane. She felt his cock thick against her belly, the size and slide of his shaft enough to tell her he was more than aroused.
She made a mew of protest, and he laughed against her lips, then trailed his mouth across her cheek to her ear.
“Oh, no, sweetheart. I’m not rushing this time. I’ve been dreaming about this. I’m gonna fuck you so slow, so hard. You’ve been driving me crazy for days. And payback’s a bitch.”
Ecstatic to know he’d been missing her, she didn’t care what he did, so long as he wanted her. Later they’d talk about his mixed signals, but for now, she’d revel in their shared closeness.
Thanks to Bailey’s untiring ability to answer questions, Kennedy knew she couldn’t contract sexually transmitted diseases, and she could control her ability to get pregnant. It had taken some time communing with her beast, but Kennedy had followed Bailey’s example and could now interact with the creature easily, reading more than the surface comments it made.
Despite her beast wanting to carry Alex’s babies, it wanted to do so in a safe environment. Until Lang and his buddies were no longer a threat, the creature inside her would wait. After Lang left, well, then Kennedy would need to deal with a baby-crazy beast.
But knowing she and Alex could right now make love without protection as long as they wanted to without fear of pregnancy or disease—something she should have thought about the first dang time—left her breathless with anticipation.
If only the blasted man would move.