“No.” Her leg connected to his shin. It hurt like hell, but not enough to make him release her. She hadn’t hesitated to use violence. Definitely not the old Cassie.
“Tell me.”
She tried to slap him with her free hand. He moved out of the way with a millisecond to spare. Then he grabbed her free arm.
“I won’t let you go until I know every detail from the time you left my side at the Expo.” This technique wouldn’t win him points at a meeting of abuse survivors, but his in-your-face method had worked for many of his men who had lost either comrades, limbs, or the desire to live another day.
She pulled hard, but he held tight. His focus remained only on her. Whether she realized it or not, she had to talk.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I want to go home and start over, but since I have no home anymore, I’m simply going to try to forget about Jordan. And I can’t if you keep demanding I tell you.” The volume of her voice rose. “Don’t worry. I intend on finishing whatever my task is.”
He dropped his forehead to hers despite the knowledge that she could slam into it. His voice softened. “I need to know what happened, and you need to tell me.”
She’d never get through this if she held the memories inside to fester and destroy her. Although he’d been through the painful aftermath of missions gone wrong before, with other partners, this time, it felt more personal, as though his only hope at survival was making Cassie whole again.
Through tears and clenched teeth, she pulled out of his hold, but remained standing inches from him. “Debriefing me? I forgot. You have a need to get the mission accomplished. And how can you complete it if your technical expert falls apart?”
“I need you, angel.” His arm encircled her waist.
“You only need my knowledge.” She dropped her head onto his shoulder.
He lifted his other hand under her chin, careful to avoid the bandage, and brought her lips close to his. “I need you.”
He kissed her. A soft, sweet kiss that made no demands, only sought to comfort her. He didn’t stay away from her split lip. Instead, he brushed his lips across the swelling and licked the wound. She didn’t pull away. He kissed her again and again until her tears fell more quickly, and she began to return the kiss. Her body shuddered. She couldn’t hold back her tears. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the couch.
Her beat-up face rested on his chest, and her sobs came louder and faster. The agony of her nightmare finally surfaced. He held her tight as her body shook in uncontrollable waves. All he could do was rub her shoulders and let her mourn the end of her innocence. The Cassie of his dreams, the one with a permanent smile and a vegetarian pantry, had been lost to this brutal occupation.
He kissed the top of her head and gently brushed back her hair. Bruises across her cheek and the fat, split lip made her seem tougher than she was. He was tempted to strip her down to see the extent of her other injuries, but he needed her permission and her trust, and at this point he had neither.
She faced the window. Soft lights glowed over the river at dusk. When her breathing became slower and more controlled, she spoke. “I grabbed some lunch and then went to Omnicore Explosives and obtained the price list. Darn. I lost it in everything that happened.”
Information he didn’t need, and a task she hadn’t needed to go on. It was his fault. One hundred percent his fault. He squeezed her more tightly, thinking about what could have happened. “That’s okay. I’ll call them later.”
She sighed against him, and then she started talking. She told him everything. When she reached the part of her story about the guard, he had to force himself to stay calm for her sake.
“In the end, he didn’t do anything. I fought back and escaped.” She rested her head back on his shoulder.
“Did he touch you?”
“Yes.”
“On your face?”
She nodded. “He punched me and pulled my hair. I’ve never been so scared.”
“You said you fought him off.” He held her tight and comforted her so she could continue.
He made her describe in detail what the man did. She tried to brush over the more intimate details, but eventually, through tears and anger, she told Simon everything. She’d escaped. She’d saved herself like the heroine she was, but didn’t believe herself to be.
A half hour later, his beauty slept in his arms. He looked down at her bruises and rubbed his thumb across her lips. She needed him and, by God, he needed her.
Cassie awoke to an overcast skyline. Still dressed in her jeans and Dean’s sweatshirt, she was stretched across the couch, entwined in Simon’s limbs. He seemed like a safe haven, but, as always, looks could be deceiving and often were. She slipped out from under his arm and used the bathroom. When she returned, Simon, wearing only a pair of shorts, was sitting up, typing on his phone.
Why couldn’t she hate him? Because he still held her trust, and he held her heart. She’d been unfair to blame him for what happened. Her actions, her consequences. It was time to stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility for her own life.
“Good morning.” A warm smile broke across his face.
She lifted her arm in a lame wave, unsure how to proceed after pouring out the humiliating details of her incarceration.
“Hi.” Her throat burned as she spoke. The outburst from the night before had strained it.
“You should take a shower. You’ll feel better after the long night.”
“In a few minutes.” She sat next to him. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble. You always told me to think before I acted, and I didn’t.”
His fingers brushed through her hair, lingering by the base of her neck. “You cared about another human being. You did what any decent person—at least one with a core of gold—would.”
“Not gold, iron. And it weighs me down. I’ve always felt in control of my life, but now I’m drowning. I can’t understand how you’ve lived this way for so long. I heard about Nicola. Some people in the office said she’d do whatever it took to finish a job, including sex and murder. I’m not sure I could sleep with a person I wasn’t attracted to, and I’m not sure I could kill anyone. And look at Alex, traveling around the globe with a husband following and a baby on the way. This life isn’t for me.”
He tugged on Dane’s sweatshirt and slid it over her head, leaving her in a white tank top. He’d made no secret of his hostility toward Dane, so she let him remove the article of clothing. His hands traced a pattern across her back and shoulders, occasionally lifting the back of her shirt—nothing sexual, but more clinical, as though looking for injuries. When his hands stopped moving, she leaned back against his chest. Two powerful arms encircled her waist, and Simon’s chin rested on her head.
“Don’t compare yourself to Nicola or Alex,” he said. “Nicola lived for her job and nothing else. She fought demons, both real and imaginary. Death never scared her. She lived with the motto “kill or be killed.” She was killed. And Alex? She has more innate skills than any one person should have and remain sane. Trust me, there are times when Henry needs to bring her back down from the ledge. No one is perfect. In fact, you have skills they would have bartered away limbs for. Neither one of them was great with computers, especially Alex. She barely uses her laptop, except for an occasional report she needs to file.”
“But my skills haven’t been necessary so far.”
“They are now. I’m still buying twenty drones from Pelican. I’ll need you with me in San Francisco when I do. And there’s a team of specialists meeting us in France to add explosives, making them suicide capable. You can outfit them. I can’t.”
His words landed hard. Suicide implied someone would die. “Like a suicide bomber, but the drone is unmanned? What about the other side? Will the explosives hurt people?”
“Cassie, this game we play is so much bigger than the two of us. I try to keep casualties to a minimum, but I’m not perfect. My job is to prevent most arms from get
ting to the people who ordered them, but to be effective undercover I need to have some shipments go through. Otherwise, who would use my services? We track the shipments closely and most of the time, we prevent the guns from getting through to non-allies. But this game makes for strange bedfellows. Several groups I assisted years ago now have a different diplomatic arrangement with Great Britain, going from friends to foes. Everything changes, all the time.”
“Who are the drones being sold to?”
“The North Korean businessmen we met in Jordan. They’re impatient with the ruling party, because they haven’t seen the profits they were promised years ago, although they see large amounts of wealth flowing past them to the president’s friends and family. They’re hoping to start a war with South Korea by flying the drones over the DMZ to strike some South Korean, or even better, U.S. military targets. They figure they can make more money during a rebuilding of a united Korea, rather than wait for the current North Korean regime to share some of the wealth.”
The muscles across her shoulders and up her neck tensed. She shifted to face him. “We’re starting a war?”
He kissed her forehead. “It’ll look that way, but you’ll reprogram the drones so they detonate on the North Korean side of the border, thus averting disaster. The trick is to have the detonation linked to someone other than you and me. Perhaps faulty circuits.”
The tension in her shoulders eased. She could actually avert a disaster in this job. “That’s brilliant.”
“Ironically, it was Tucker’s idea. He’s better working strategy than he is in the field.”
“He was a field agent?”
“He was in the field, but was incompetent.”
“As bad as me?”
“Worse.” Simon’s warm smile cracked into a full-fledged grin.
She shook her head in feigned shock. “Impossible.”
“Believe it. He would have given away the keys to MI6 if they hadn’t taken him out of the field.” He squeezed her tight, as though he’d never let her go. “I’d take you on my team over Tucker in a heartbeat.”
“Thanks. I’m sorry about spending time with Dane. He was so nice to me, I couldn’t just ignore him after everything he did for me.”
Simon kissed her again on the forehead, so gently it felt more like the draft from a butterfly wing. A strange but sweet gesture coming from such a giant of a man. “I’m not threatened by Dane in the least.”
“You’re not?”
“He’s always brought out the worst in me.”
“You know him?” That would explain the almost friendly hostility they shared.
“We’ve met a few times in the past and have battled over women. He usually won, but he always cheated.”
“Are you afraid he has a shot with me?”
Simon laughed. “Not a chance.”
“Really?”
“You’re mine.” His voice lowered, and his gaze burned though her.
As much as she liked the idea of being Simon’s, the newly emerged warrior in her stopped a full surrender to him. “I’m not property, Simon.”
“Let me finish. When I lost you in Jordan…” He paused and swallowed hard. “Let’s just say I never want to lose you again. Ever.”
He tightened his grip on her as if she would leave if he let go. He shouldn’t worry, because she was staying put.
She kissed his cheek and tried, but failed, to curb the rush of tears from her eyes.
He moved his lips over the scratches on the side of her face, down over the bandage on her chin, and returned to her mouth where he soothed the pain with a lick of his tongue.
She pulled back, her heart beginning to beat out a rushed and panicked rhythm. “I don’t think I’m ready for anything more than your sweet kisses.”
He laughed. “I agree. You have full control over whether or not we resume being lovers. And I’ll be more than happy to resume where we left off when you come to me begging on hands and knees. Only that will convince me you’re ready.” He stood up, leaving her alone on the couch. “You better shower and get dressed. I’m moving back into the bedroom. We can share it.”
“I thought I was the one in charge of this relationship?”
“I never said that. You’re in charge of when we have sex again. I’m in charge of this operation. Since you’ve recovered from being pissed at me about your time in jail, you need to be close to me for several reasons. First, we both should sleep in the bed for a better night’s sleep. Second, I don’t want you out of my sight any longer than necessary.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. Nothing stopped Simon from getting what he wanted.
He pointed to the bathroom. “Go, we have a lot to do to prepare for our trip.”
She left the room and enjoyed a warm shower.
His unique way of caring for her made her feel competent and strong, not dependent and helpless. And although Dane had helped her, he acted more like a shoulder to cry on. Simon offered his shoulder for only a moment and then sent her back into the world. His confidence in her bolstered her own beliefs that she could handle the job assigned.
After the shower, she put on a salmon colored dress that fell to mid calf and located Simon in the office working on his laptop. She walked over to him and sat on his lap, certain he wanted her there. His hand slid up her dress an inch, stopping on her knee. The tease.
“So what’s my task, boss?”
His hand remained on her leg, caressing her thigh. “In order to reprogram the drones, you need the security codes. And Dane has them.”
A week later, Cassie stood in the suite at the Fairmount hotel and stared out the window. The million dollar view overlooked San Francisco and, in the distance, the Golden Gate Bridge. When the bedroom door opened, she turned to see an even more amazing view. Simon.
“Nice outfit.”
“Thanks.” She spun around in her black high-heeled sandals. The black and white floral dress swooshed out from her legs. Black fit her mood. It also matched the remaining black and blue marks all over her body.
“Too bad you can’t join me on my date,” she said.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He raised his eyebrows. “If you need more time, I can arrange it. I’ll hire someone Dane’s type who can pull him away from his desk for a few hours.”
“What’s the likelihood he’ll choose this week to date this random woman during normal office hours and not figure out she was a paid escort?”
“Slim.” His hand balled into a fist, and he paced around the room for a few minutes. “It’ll be quicker and easier if you pull him away, but you are not dating him. You’re going for lunch and to speak with him about your future. That’s all.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe we should delay for a few days, and I can think of another plan.”
“We need to get back to work. If you want to hold hands and sing ‘Kumbaya,’ find someone else. I’m not interested.”
He rubbed his hand over his face as though thinking up a new strategy for getting his partner in line. “You call me if, at any time, you feel overwhelmed. Is that clear?”
“Perfectly. What do I need to do?”
“One of us has to infiltrate Dane’s office. He must store the security information on the drones somewhere near there. You keep him at the restaurant, and I’ll try to gain access to his desk. If I can’t, we’ll have to call the whole operation off.”
Part of her felt uncomfortable with the assignment. The other part wanted to dive head first into the information she needed to gather.
“Why would we call it off?” she asked.
“Without knowing the security codes, we won’t be able to redo the software.”
“I could bypass a few security codes.”
“I doubt it. Not these.”
“What if I go into Dane’s office?” she asked.
“Impossible. He won’t be leaving your side today. He’s waiting for the opportunity to comfort you in bed. You’re not re
ady for that. You never will be, because after this, you’re retiring from the field. Just grab a bite to eat, talk, and make him think he stands a chance.”
“Let me try. I can find the codes.”
“Sneaking into an office building without being caught is not in your skill set. The only way we could get you inside is with Dane next to you. And then he’ll have you alone in his office. A man tried to rape you. You need time and perspective. And Dane’s not a bad guy, but given the opportunity, he will make a move on you. And I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let that happen.”
Another strike against her? “No. I can do this. I will not let that jerk at the prison rule my life. And who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?” she demanded.
“You’re hurting. You need time. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”
“Would Nicola or Alex have retrieved the codes for you?”
“One of them is dead. The other is happily married and would never feign attraction to another man to complete a task, at the risk of alienating her husband.”
“Then I guess I’m your only option.”
Simon stared out the window for a few moments. Tension showed in his stiff posture. His focus then shifted entirely to Cassie. “If you get into the building, you’ll probably end up on a video feed.”
“How will I know if there are cameras around?”
“You won’t. So don’t do anything that makes you look guilty.” He sat on a fancy chair in the living room, dwarfing it. “And you can back out at anytime. I’m serious. Just get up and walk out of wherever you are.”
This protective side of Simon comforted her, although she wouldn’t tell him that. And the jealous side? It was nice to not be the only possessive person in the relationship. With his support, she’d be able to handle the assignment. Partly for her country, but mostly for herself.
With him seated, she towered over him with the three-inch heels. He looked up at her. Such a masculine face. No one would ever call him a pretty boy, even when he smiled and those dimples appeared and a boyish laughter reflected in his blue eyes. She leaned down, completely aware that her low-cut dress exposed a tad bit too much of her breasts, and placed her hands on his knees. His eyes dropped to her chest, as she’d predicted. She could do this job. How hard would it be to convince Dane that she was attracted to him?
True Deceptions (True Lies) Page 15