"Let go of me!" she demanded. "Let go of me or I jump!"
She put one of her high-heeled legs on the fence and I took a step back, holding my hands up. "Calm down, Kitty. Don't do anything stupid."
She broke down then, sobs racking her sweet little body until she was a mess of runny makeup and disheveled hair. I tried to approach her, but she hissed at me every time I came near.
"Kitty," I spoke up again, trying to remain calm. "I'm going back inside. Come with me. Let me make it better."
I took a step back inside the penthouse, holding out a hand for her. Several excruciating seconds passed before she finally reached forward, intertwining her fingers with mine. I pulled her against me, breathing a sigh of relief when her body crashed against mine.
Moments later, I guided her back into the room, whispering sweet nothings into her ear to calm her down. She was shaking. My own guilt was eating me up, and I fucking hated it. Not because of Amicia, but because no one before her had made me feel angry at myself like this.
I was a man of business. Whether that business was shady or not was something my conscience had to work out. I'd never given a shit about the opinions of others. But not with Amicia. With her, I wanted approval. And I knew I would never have it again—at least not from her, the one who mattered most.
I guided her into the bedroom, not the guest one where she'd slept on the first night, and not the playroom's bed, but the master bedroom where none of my female friends had ever slept before her. I removed her clothes carefully while she sobbed. I understood then that finding out what she did had broken her. I knew there'd be no going back from what she'd just discovered. She'd never forgive me.
All we had was this one last night.
And I was going to make it one to remember.
I held Amicia's trembling body in my arms that night, whispering how much she meant to me in her ear. I'd never done that for a woman, not even another human being. She made me human again. She turned the monster I'd been for the past few decades into someone with a heart.
I knew she wanted to leave. Her body was there, but her mind didn't want to be with me.
"Stay with me," I said to her. "One last night. Tomorrow you can leave. Just let me have one last night."
She didn't respond, her body rigid in my arms. I wanted her to reassure me, but I knew she wouldn't. I'd fucked up. She knew what I was now. There was no going back from this.
We lay there for hours. I kept whispering in her ear and she moved further and further away from me in the bed.
"I loved you," she whispered in the middle of the night. "And you broke me."
I could have told her I loved her too, but I was too ashamed.
So, I just listened to the sound of her sweet sobbing until sleep pulled us both under.
***
I woke up to sunshine streaming in through the window, with snowflakes dancing in the icy day. My first thought was of her, my sweet Kitty, and my arms sought her out in the bed next to me, coming up empty. She wasn't there. I should have known then she was gone, but I pretended she'd just gone to the bathroom.
I pulled myself out of bed and checked the rooms one by one. She wasn't in the secret room. Not in any of the bathrooms or the other bedrooms. She wasn't in the kitchen, the study, or the living room. The Christmas tree stood there, a silent reminder of Christmas Day—the day she was finally supposed to become mine, and the one I'd forever remember as the first one without her.
Nearing the tree, I took in gift after gift, wrapped up all pretty and waiting for Amicia to tear into the wrapping paper. Except that would never happen now. I'd given her the opportunity to leave, and she had. I had no right to my Kitty anymore, and we both knew it. I'd given that up myself.
I picked up one of the smallest packages, carefully unwrapping it myself. I revealed a dark blue velvet box, opening it to reveal a priceless engagement ring. In the cold light of the morning, the ring was tacky and too gaudy for a girl like Amicia. She deserved something more special.
I walked over to the balcony, pondering the ring in my hands. It was the sign of our relationship falling apart. Another symbol of my ownership over the girl who hadn't wanted to be owned. Taking one last, long look at the ring, I tossed it over the balcony and into the abyss below.
Walking back inside, I groaned when I saw the Christmas tree. I'd have to arrange to have it taken down—I couldn't bear the sight of it, remembering how happy we'd been putting it up together.
A package on the floor caught my attention. It wasn't one of the ones I'd had professionally wrapped, it was a simple gift box with a bow clumsily attached to the top. I picked it up, reading my name in Amicia's neat handwriting scribbled on the front. Had she left it on purpose, or had she forgotten she'd left it there?
I ripped through the paper in record time, lifting the lid of the box with a deep sigh. Inside, Kitty's mask from that first night at Le Cabaret was waiting, all pink sequins and cute kitty ears. I touched the fabric longingly, and every moment I'd spent with my plaything flashed in my mind, a painful reminder of how alone her absence had made me.
My fingers wrapped around the mask and I cursed softly. I couldn't let her go. Even though she'd chosen to leave me, I couldn't accept it. I wanted to keep my Kitty. I wanted to have her back.
And I knew then and there I wouldn't stop hunting her until she was finally mine again.
Chapter 17
Amicia
Eleven months later
Almost a year had passed since I left Grayson Kline's London penthouse in tears. I thought the memories would fade faster, but it seems as if the old wounds will never heal. As I walk through the streets of my favorite city in the world that day, huddling into my coat, I find myself wishing I'd never closed the door on our relationship.
Yes, it was awful what happened because of Grayson. But I'd played a role in it too, and the only person I'd blamed when I left was him, even though there was just as much guilt on my own shoulders.
The freezing cold made me shiver as I came up to my apartment building. It had been a long year with a lot of changes, most of them for the better. Now that I had more money, I could finally afford better things, including my apartment which was small, but cozy. It wasn't quite as nice as Mr. Kline's penthouse, but I was perfectly happy with it.
Still, the worst of it all was the overwhelming loneliness I felt every day. Since I'd stopped dancing at Le Cabaret, I hadn't kept in touch with any of my friends from back there. I didn't hear from Capri after the auction either, which made me worried. I hoped she was okay, but there wasn't much I could do for her, not anymore. Not without Grayson.
I put on the kettle and made myself a cup of tea. I had a date that night, my first since the Grayson ordeal. I had a new job at a restaurant then. The tips were good and the clientele was much better than I was used to. But I hadn't really made friends there. Still, one of the bartenders liked me enough to ask me out, and I found myself agreeing. It was the time of year when I hated being lonely. The memory of Grayson was still overwhelming, so I welcomed the distraction of a new man.
His name was Ross, and he was tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes. I liked the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and the dimples in his cheeks. I wasn't sure how successful our date would be, but I was excited to find out if Ross would be able to make me forget about Grayson for the night.
I got ready, putting on a simple jewel-toned purple dress with knitted tights and black heeled boots. I put on my new coat—with buttons, what a relief—and added a grey scarf. Ross and I were meeting at the restaurant which was only a block away. For some reason, I hadn't felt comfortable enough to give him my address just yet. As I walked briskly through the November cold, I found myself wondering why I was so reluctant to share with Ross.
Ross was already waiting by the time I got to the restaurant. He kissed my cheek and we smiled at one another a little awkwardly.
"So where are we going?" I asked.
"I thought her
e would be perfect," he grinned.
"Mario's?" I glanced at the restaurant behind us. "Oh, okay. Sure."
I was a little disappointed but I did my best not to let it show. I didn't want him to know I was stuck-up or something. But the truth was, I'd spent most of my time at Mario's and I was dreading spending another minute in that place. But I swallowed back my reply and followed him into the room. Our coworkers smiled and led us to an empty table in a good spot.
"Best table in town," Ross joked, and I gave him a tense smile.
He ordered the food for us without asking for my preference. I didn't argue, though I already had a feeling this date wasn't going well. For the next hour while we made our way through our appetizers and main courses, Ross talked about himself. He didn't ask me anything about myself and an hour into the date, I'd already written it off as a disaster.
My eyes wandered from Ross animatedly chatting about his pitbull in front of me, and I found myself thinking of the one person I'd tried the hardest to banish from my thoughts—Grayson Kline.
I couldn't help it. I hadn't imagined our connection—I knew he felt it, too. But in the past eleven months, Grayson had made no attempt to contact me. He'd probably moved on already. He had the wealth and resources to find a new toy, someone more agreeable than I had been.
My fingers dug into the cloth napkin on my lap. Even after all these months, it hurt to imagine him with someone else. I couldn't think about it, it made me sick.
And yet I couldn't bring myself to stop. Margaret's image appeared in my mind again. The cruel woman had shaped my life into something I barely recognized anymore. I'd spent years resenting her and more years resenting myself for what I'd done. But I needed to move on. Margaret was gone, and I deserved a new, brighter future without her in it.
"Oh god," Ross groaned in front of me, palming his suit pocket. "I think I forgot my wallet."
Great, I thought to myself. What a perfect ending to a perfect freaking day.
"That's fine," I replied coolly. I paid for our meal, resenting the whole date since I hadn't even gotten to pick what I ate. I rarely treated myself like this, despite the growing money in my bank account. I didn't want to spend carelessly.
Ross offered to walk me home and I reluctantly accepted, just because it was dark and I was worried, and certainly not because I wanted to invite him back upstairs. But judging by the shit-eating grin on his face when I said yes, that was exactly what he was expecting to happen. I groaned inwardly. I would let him down easy, despite the ungentlemanly way he'd handled our date.
As we walked, his endless tirade about himself continued. I don't know if he thought the date was going well—I certainly didn't. All I could think about was curling up in my bed and forgetting this date had ever happened. Of course, now I also had to worry about all my coworkers knowing I went out with Ross, which would be a nightmare I'd have to deal with the next day.
Suppressing a groan, I motioned to an apartment building. "This is mine."
"Great," he smirked, winking at me. "Let's go upstairs."
"Oh," I wrinkled my nose. "I'd actually like to get an early night."
"Oh come on," he laughed, leaning against the brick wall. "You're not even going to invite me upstairs after tonight?"
My patience was wearing thin, but I didn't want to be rude, so I just shrugged. "Sorry."
"You can't be serious." He furrowed his brows at me, obviously displeased. "You're really going to treat me like that? Are you telling me I wasted my Friday night on you?"
"I'm sorry," I repeated. "But let's recap tonight. You took me to my own workplace for dinner. You didn't ask me a single thing about myself. You 'forgot' your wallet. And now you're offended because I won't let you come in?"
He reddened, obviously stewing with anger. "Entitled fucking bitch."
"Yeah, thanks." I fought the urge to cry, even though my first instinct was to slap his face. "I'll see you at work, Ross."
"You're gonna walk away from this?" He blocked my path all of a sudden, and I recoiled from the smell of booze on his breath. I had noticed he'd drank most of the bottle of wine we'd had with dinner, but the stench made me think he'd drunk something before then, too. "I don't think so, bitch."
"I'm afraid that's not up to you," I muttered, trying to walk past him. But he kept blocking my way until I finally looked up, my eyes meeting his murky, enraged gaze. "Please let me go home, Ross."
"No fucking way," he snarled, droplets of spittle landing on my face from his open mouth. "You're not getting away that easily. I'm owed at least a kiss if nothing else."
"I don't owe you anything," I bit back. "Move, or I'm pushing you."
"You could try," he laughed nastily. "But I'm bigger and stronger. And you're not just going to leave me on the street with my dick hard, are you?"
Ignoring his words, I came through on my promise and attempted to push him away. But when I did, he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me in close. His eyes looked manic and for the first time in the evening, I found myself getting scared.
"You always treat men like this, Amicia?" he barked at me. "I think it was about time someone taught you a lesson."
"Let go," I demanded, trying to pull my arm out of his grasp but failing. "I'm leaving, we're done here."
"We're done when I say we're done," he snarled. "Now give me a kiss, I've been waiting all fucking night..."
He attempted to kiss me, sloppy lips trying to find mine. Finally, I found my voice, shrieking loudly as his hands started roaming all over my unwilling body. "Let me go! Stop this! Get off!"
"Get your hands off her right the fuck now."
Both Ross and I froze when a third voice joined the chorus. I recognized that voice, and my eyes flitted behind Ross, my stomach sinking. It was him—Kai, Grayson's right hand man.
"Mind your own business," Ross spat out.
"Didn't I tell you to take your hands off her?" Kai insisted calmly. I heard a click then, and my date's eyes widened in fear. He raised his arms in the air.
"Calm down, would you?" he asked, nervous. "I was just walking her home."
"No you weren't," I hissed in response. "You groped me!"
"Shut the fuck up," he snarled at me. "Can't you see he's got a gun pointed at me?"
My body froze. All my memories of finding Margaret's body came flooding back. She'd been shot point-blank and left for dead. I closed my eyes, unable to deal with the situation at hand.
"You don't ever speak to her again," Kai hissed at Ross. "Tomorrow you find a new job and hand in your notice at Mario's. You're fucking done. Got it?"
"I got it," Ross said, whimpering as Kai shoved the gun behind his back. "Fuck, just let me go. I won't even look at her again, I swear..."
"If you do, I'm taking your finger off that hand next time," Kai hissed. "Now get the fuck lost."
Ross scampered down the alley, breaking into a run and fearfully glancing over his shoulder as he did his best to get away from me.
"Are you okay?" Kai asked, and I nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. This man was a cold-blooded killer. I'd never be able to come to terms with that. "I'm sorry I didn't intervene sooner."
"How did you even know I was here?" I snapped, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear self-consciously. "Did he send you?"
"Mr. Kline, ah..." He smiled. "He asked me to keep an eye out for you."
"Tonight?" I demanded. By his smile, I knew that wasn't the case. "How long have you been following me around?"
"Since you left the penthouse," he finally admitted.
"That's sick," I muttered, even though I was secretly grateful. "Leave me alone."
I walked past him to the door of my building, feeling his gaze on my back as I unlocked the door.
"Miss Romano?"
I turned over my shoulder reluctantly to look at Kai. "What?"
"Mr. Kline cares about you very much," he said. "Please do try not to get hurt and avoid dubious characters like this one."
"Fine,
" I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him before grumbling, "And thanks. I guess."
"You're welcome, Miss Romano."
The sight of Kai's sparkling dark eyes followed me as I went upstairs to my apartment. He'd just saved me, and I had Grayson to thank for that. Despite my annoyance, I couldn't fight the tell-tale smile off my lips.
Chapter 18
Grayson
I had never taken my eyes off the prize. I wanted her back, and ever since she left my penthouse that crisp Christmas morning, I knew I had to get her back no matter the cost.
Despite my best intentions, I'd fallen in love with Amicia Romano. I'd tried fighting it for a long time. The weeks she spent at my penthouse apartment were spent with my eyes closed, vehemently telling myself I didn't feel what I felt. But the moment she left, she left a hole behind, and I knew no other woman could ever fill that hole again.
I had trained myself not to love. Had spent years proving to myself I didn't need anyone else to be happy. But when Amicia left, I realized that didn't matter. I could be reasonably happy without her, but it wasn't enough. I wanted her, needed her. And I wasn't giving up until she was back in my arms where she belonged.
"Mr. Kline?"
"Yes, I'm sorry." I smiled at the girl sitting in front of my desk. "My mind drifted for a moment."
"It's okay." The girl smiled nervously. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak to you tonight."
"Of course," I nodded. She was always so very polite.
I liked the girl. Her name was Georgina, and she was one of the first students we'd accepted into our scholarship program. I'd invented it to commemorate Amicia, and I hoped she would be as proud as I was of our budding talents. Georgina was one of them, a talented singer from the wrong side of the tracks who'd spent her life in foster care just like the other children. I hoped that, with the help of my program, she'd be able to find success in the world of music, like she'd dreamed of her whole life.
She was a cute kid, with her red hair perpetually in pigtails with ribbons at the ends and freckles all over her upturned nose. She was eleven, but seemed wiser beyond her years. She reminded me of Amicia in a lot of ways. She had a certain kind of wisdom about her, perhaps from being let down by the system which had done nothing but pass her around.
Christmas Captive: A Holiday Romance Page 13