by Renee Adams
“Livvy, what is so wrong with this? I know the situation isn’t ideal, but I know you can feel the heat between us. Baby, you look at me like you want to eat me up. I definitely want to eat you up, sweetheart, amongst other things. When I am through with you, you won’t remember my name, let alone your name. I want to taste your juices on my tongue, want to hear you moan my name, bury myself so deep in you that all you can feel is me for days. Feel your knees go out because the amount of ecstasy you feel will make you weak. I need to ruin you for any other man that once I am in you, you can’t help to admit that you are mine. Because Olivia, by the time this is all over, you will be mine.”
Well, shit. Is it possible to have a mini orgasm without actual touching? Because if it’s possible, then that explains the tingling I got during his speech. I’m sure I look pretty stupid right now with my mouth hanging open, I just can’t help it. His words, however dirty they may be, have done something to me. Not only do I want him, but I want all the things he described. I guess feeling desirable is something that I need. Kind of like when you cut your hair and you hope everyone notices. Well, it’s been a long time since anyone has noticed my hair or me.
“Damian, look,” I start, but he cuts me off, again. I hate that about him because it’s rude. But hey, if this is the only bad thing about his personality that I am finding then I feel like I’m winning. Of course, the whole prison stay is something else altogether. I have no idea how to handle that mess. I mean seriously, I cannot date someone in prison. I’m embarrassed with myself because I can feel myself falling into the abyss that is Damian Shaw. I don’t know how to handle it, and that worries me. I am a planner, I am normally solid in my feelings, but all I feel with him is confusion.
“Olivia, I am not asking for you to marry me, hell I am not the type you marry. But I do want to have some fun with you. Even though I know, this is not the ideal circumstances. But we need to have that conversation now. There are things about me that you need to know.”
“Look, Damian, you seem to be a nice enough guy. I don’t know what you did to land yourself in here, but it’s against the rules for me to do anything with you. Plus I have my son to think about. Then we have the whole riot thing going on. It’s just not smart.” Hopefully, he understands Jack needs a dad, not an inmate, or someone bouncing in and out of prison.
After I get it off my chest, he is now wearing a scowl, but in his eyes he has a look of determination. Like the big bad wolf, better to eat me with. His eyes are screaming that he is going to use me up and spit me out, possibly devour me whole. I’m still not used to being looked at like that, and it makes me nervous. Like pit sweat and sweat mustache nervous.
“I’m going in search of food. Stay here and scream if you need me,” he huffs out, and I can’t help but feel hurt because his change of mood is because of me. I hate that I have hurt his feelings, but this can’t continue.
I hate this, it’s eerily silent since he walked away. It’s kind of like when you are at home alone and you go to take a shower, you hear everything. My imagination starts to run wild, and I feel like I am being watched. I don’t see how, there aren’t any cameras in the individual cells, just cameras in the corridors. Sitting where I am sitting, I hope I can’t be seen on the cameras, but I don’t know for sure. But my skin is starting to crawl, and an overwhelming sense of fear has gripped me, goosebumps are running up and down my body.
I feel the need to run, but Damian told me not to leave. He wants me to scream if I need him, but I kind of feel like that would be stupid because I don’t know that anyone is there. Plus the whole, I am woman hear me roar bullshit. So I sit, and I wait. But I can feel eyes on me, I just know it.
After leaving Olivia in the cell, I creep through the corridor counting each camera I pass as I scour the area making sure that no one is lurking close by. I search through a few cells for some food and try to find a place to hide Olivia. Xavier will not stop at getting her, so I have to be the one to stop him. I need to be the one ahead of him if I am going to keep her safe. He cannot win this. I can’t help but think of her words. She seems repulsed that I am an inmate, which is ok, hell anybody should be. But to think that I would be a bad influence on her kid, I just don’t know what to think. I would be the first to tell the kid to stay the hell away from trouble. I think she is looking for a relationship, and I am just looking to get my dick wet. I mean yeah she’s fucking hot, she seems like a great mother to her kid, and I’m sure she will make some man very happy to marry her. I am just not that man, and I can’t help but feel sadness for that. What the hell is wrong with me? Where did the Damian go that wants to fuck any hot girl six ways from Sunday?
Walking into the guards break room, I see the fridge which I know will be a jackpot. Guards don’t like to eat the food that is prepared by the inmates, so they bring their own. Don’t blame the guards, sometimes those inmates will fuck with the food. Most get caught, it’s really hard to try anything in the kitchen, but sometimes their hijinks goes unnoticed. Some guys will jizz in the food, some will put any drug they can get their hands on in it. Not saying it happens all the time, but it happens a lot more than these people around here realize. Seems as if someone is looking out for us in this shitty situation.
Grabbing sandwiches, soda, chips, and water, I head back to my cell. I have counted 16 cameras so far and haven’t seen anybody. Fortunately, I did find a broom closet of sorts that I can stick her in, and if we are quick Xavier might not catch me doing that. Love to do more than just stick her in it and walk away, but she has made it clear she wants nothing to do with me in that way. Maybe once she knows the truth about this whole thing she will feel differently after she gets over being pissed.
Walking the corridors of this block makes me think of the short time I’ve been here. Am I a bad man? Some could say yes, others might say no, every bad thing I have ever done has been for a reason. I don’t know which I am anymore. Growing up it used to be a clear cut answer, but as I have gotten older, now I’m not so sure. I have been in and out of places like this for so long now, that I don’t know which way is up, hell I don’t even remember the names of the prisons anymore. Then look at the way I treat women. Hit it and quit it, in and out, and hit and run have all been used to describe my love life. Or lack thereof, because when you hit it and quit it, it’s still pretty lonely. I get what I need and send them on my way, until her. She is the first girl that I have met that I want to know more of before I fuck her. Maybe because she is unattainable, she has become a challenge to me. Don’t get me wrong, she will be screaming my name soon enough, she just doesn’t realize the electricity and the fire we have between us. I know when she enters a room without even seeing her, we just have this pull that I don’t understand.
As I turn down the last corridor to be checked, I hear a blood-curdling scream. If it’s possible, my blood turns to ice because I know who is screaming. I take off in a dead sprint towards the cell where I left Olivia. Two guys are stalking toward the cell and Olivia is screaming at them to stop and not come any closer. I feel like my stomach has dropped out of my ass because I am so scared. As I reach the cell door, I see that has his hands gripped firmly around her throat choking her, and the only sound to be heard from her lips is a desperate gurgle. Her face is a sickly shade of maroon and spittle has formed at the corner of her mouth. She is scratching and clawing trying to get some relief. It is the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. Hell, I have done some fucked up things in this life, things that would turn a person's stomach upside down. I’ve killed, and maimed and I will do it all over again to keep her safe.
An unexpected visitor, I punch the first guy in the back of the head and he tumbles to the ground like a ton of bricks. The scumbag who has my Olivia is still choking her, and doesn’t even realize his buddy is laying on his on the floor. Olivia is still trying to scrap her way to relief. Her lip is bleeding and she looks terrified, her face is a sickly shade of purple.
“Bitch, I told you, Xavier wan
ts you. If I let you go, you will come with me. It’s nothing personal, whore, you just pissed off the wrong man when you kicked me. Xavier wants to see you, he just didn’t say you had to be in good condition when that happens.”
Olivia looks beyond frightened now. I’m surprised that she hasn’t pissed her pants, hell I wouldn’t blame her. The dick must have loosened up his grip on her throat because she is slowly returning to a somewhat normal color and she isn’t clawing at his arms anymore, more just holding onto his hands. He rears back to punch her in the face, he’s quick, but I damn sure am quicker. I sneak up from behind and grab him in a headlock, and he immediately drops Olivia. She drops to all fours, gasping for air as tears stream down her face.
“Since when did Xavier send pussy bitches to do his dirty work?”
“Fuck you, Shaw, he will get to her, you know it and I know it. Fuck that whore, she’s gonna get hers. He already has her friends, you think he ain’t gonna kill them too? Shit, he has already started torturing them, it’s only a matter of time before he gets bored and fucks them, then kills them. If he hasn’t already.”
“Where is he hiding?” I still have him in a headlock, but I’m not gonna kill him… yet.
“I wouldn’t tell you for shit. He would fucking gut me.”
I apply more pressure to his throat because apparently he is underestimating what I am going to do with him. “Motherfucker, what makes you think I’m not going to kill you?”
He looks a little scared, but he doesn’t fully believe my promise. “Olivia, please go to a cell a few doors down and wait for me.” I don’t even look at her when I say it, I just stare into his eyes. His eyes go wide, and now apparently he believes me.
“Damian, what are you going to do?” her voice is hoarse. She sounds like she gargled broken glass, and I know it has to be hurting her to talk.
“Sweetheart, please just go.” I glance over at her, she is still on the floor looking at me while she is rubbing her throat.
“B-b-but what if someone gets me in there?” The fear is evident in her eyes and in her stutter. I would give anything at this moment to take it all away. She is too pure to have such terror in her eyes.
“Nobody will because they would have come running had they heard us. But I am right here, I’m not leaving you again.”
She stands to leave, but has to grip the wall to keep her balance. The lack of oxygen is probably making her a little disoriented. God, she is so strong. Her son is very lucky to have such a warrior for a mother. Even all bruised up and bleeding, she is still the most beautiful angel ever. As she is walking away, I begin to loosen my grip a little on the guy. I don’t want to kill him, but I know I have to. I cannot risk him running back to Xavier.
“Look, tell me what all you know. I want to know where he is, how many are working for him. What he is doing. Tell me everything, and I might spare you.” I won’t, but I need his trust. Hopefully, he will tell me what he knows. I would hate to kill him without information first.
“I ain’t telling you shit! You can’t hurt me any worse than what he will do if I snitch.” He spits towards me and it lands near my feet. I grab a hold of his hand and snap his pinkie and thumb, pulling them all the way back to his wrist. Ignoring his screams I ask him again to tell me what he knows.
“Oh God, ok, ok. Xavier is in the control room. He knows you are going to come looking for him. He fucking knows man, he knows everything about you. He knows why there is no record of what you have done. He knows it all! Fuck, just let me go.”
“How many are working for him?” Just for good measure and maybe a little bit of self-satisfaction, I grab his index finger and twist hearing the satisfying crunch. He is holding his hand to his chest, but I can still see that his fingers are lying against him at an awkward angle.
“I-I-I don’t know how many. He knows all about you. He knows you are a cop!” I hear a loud gasp from over my shoulder by the cell door, and my eyes automatically shut. Shit, I can feel the anger radiating off of her. I should have come clean sooner, but I know she doesn’t know the whole story, I just hope she lets me tell her.
I hear groaning and realize his buddy is about to wake up. Forgot about him, but I’ll deal with it as well. “Olivia, wait! You don’t know the whole story! Wait!” But she runs away. I’m sure she won’t go far, she’s too scared. I have to deal with these two first. Since the first one is just stirring, I decide to deal with half-hand. I quickly work to beat his face to a pulp. After I stomp a new asshole in him and he’s knocked out, I strip the bunks and get to ripping up sheets. I know where Xavier keeps his shanks so I grab one of the shanks and pocket the rest. Slicing into the mattress is pretty easy considering a number of people who have been on them. I start ripping the coils out. Funny how inmates in this prison don’t think of these things, other prisons only have foam pads as mattresses, so it was good luck this one is so old school. Getting enough coils out, I go about making some cuffs, nothing but bent coils and sheet scraps. Not sure how long these will hold, but I am betting on that dead guard still having keys and cuffs on him.
I hate leaving those two assholes, but I need to get to the guard and see if he has any cuffs on him, and I need to find Olivia. If someone has caught up with her, I don’t know what I will do. I guess rip them apart limb by limb, not that I wouldn’t be so nonchalant about it. Nobody messes with what’s mine. Wait, what? How is she mine? I’m stuck in this shit hole, she now knows I’m a cop, so why the hell would she be mine? Shit, she keeps pushing me away already, so she isn’t mine. I will do good to remember that. She’s pushing me away, not the other way around.
What in the hell? So now he’s a cop? I don’t know what to think, is he dirty and that’s what landed him in here? I just need to find time away from all of this just to get my bearings and breathe. This is all too much, and it needs to stop, too much to process, I’m overwhelmed. I mean seriously, how can I be so into a man who is a dirty cop? What the hell is wrong with me? I am a mother, and I have to wonder to myself would I be ok with Jack bringing home a dirty cop as a girlfriend? No, I don’t think I would be.
I’m rushing through the corridor so fast, just trying to get the hell away from Damian that I trip over a crack in the concrete and fall to the floor, cutting my leg open. I know in the guard hub that a first aid kit is hanging on the wall. It seems like nothing is going well today. I’m stuck in this shit hole, a madman wants to kill me or do whatever with me, my friends are being held hostage, and my poor son and Mom are probably going crazy with worry. I just need to repeat my mantra. That is the only thing that will get me through this, and home to my Jack.
Making my way into the guard’s room, I can hear someone coming down the corridor so I dash inside real quick and grab the first aid kit. Seeking safety, I crawl under the countertop that covers three-quarters of the room. My scrubs are ripped open at the knee and blood is trickling down my leg and onto the floor. If Xavier and his men want me, it’s only a matter of time before the find me now. I observe the wound to my knee and know I need stitches, but that is something that will have to wait. I just need to staunch the bleeding for now.
“Olivia, I know you are still in here.” I can’t really recognize the voice because they are speaking so low. I keep a hand over my mouth so I don’t make any noises.
“Olivia, come on, let me explain!” Now I know it’s Damian.
I still don’t want him to find me, but I am not going to hide from him if he comes in here, so I start working on my leg. Granted this isn’t a kit issued by the clinic, this surprisingly has a lot of stuff in it. Rooting around I find a suture kit and betadine swabs. No pain meds, but I do have that morphine shot, so I could probably give myself a little just to dull the pain. But I don’t want to do that because I need to have my wits about me. Sounds like a great idea, though, just a little escape away from this situation. Rubbing the swabs along the sides of the wound, then in the wound to cleanse it I see him.
Nostrils flaring, eyes blazing,
he looks like a man who is going insane. His eyes are a blazing blue that looks like glaciers you see on TV, or the crystal clear water you see at islands not touched by our pollution. He steals my breath with just one look, instantly making me hot all over. I duck my head to remove myself from his steely stare, and I gulp in a huge breath. I see him walk towards me and crouch down, but I still can’t look him in the eyes. Every time I do, my heart hurts and I can’t look away, like some trance that he has put upon my heart and body. But my body, my body is acutely aware of his presence even though my eyes aren’t drinking him in.
“Who did this to you?” He seems to be choking on his words. He hooks his fingers under my chin, forcing me to look up.
“I did it to myself, now what do you want, Damian? Or should I say, Officer Shaw?” Low blow, but he deserves it, I can see the hurt in his eyes.
“Cut the shit, Livvy.”
“You lied to me and you want me to cut the shit? Doesn’t work that way, asshole!” I’m seething! I trusted this man and he didn’t tell me. Granted, it’s not a life-changing never forgive the person again secret. But it’s something I should have known. Dirty cops have a hard enough time in prison, I just feel like he should have told me already. The target pinned on our backs just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
“I never lied to you. I just didn’t tell you, big difference, babe.” Cocky asshole. I hate him right now. He is acting like it’s not bothering him, but his eyes betray the cockiness. I realize that he cares what I think of him, and butterflies stir in my stomach at that revelation.
“You omitted the truth, which makes you a huge asshole in my book. I don’t date assholes or dirty cops. Ya know, Damian, I wouldn’t have been so mad had you told me when all of this mess began. But you kept hiding it from me.”